All Comments on 'Silver Heat Ch. 03'

Best line: 'So tell me Lance did your mom see you naked before or after she named you?' Jake (weed supplier) asked. You started the chapter with a great sexy shower scene, progress to lighthearted plans for naked trailer camping, and fixate in the middle to Lance wanting to fly back home. Numerous confessions from Neal and Lance ensue. You ripped my heart apart and then put the nail through it with Neal pleading 'Give us a chance. Stay with me! Please.' Quite curious that Neal tells Jake there wouldn't be any alcohol in the house (because of Lance's *controlled* alcoholism), and having Jake deliver pot. Dependency issues are not isolated substances in the lives that have crossed mine.

Please, get someone to edit your great stories. Your story isn't the kind that needs a lot of work, but, well, come on....

You must know how tough it is for a reader to fully appreciate a story that lacks the continuity provided by simple editing for punctuation, spelling; the basic but important stuff that, when overlooked, become glaring obstacles to the successful, memorable flow of the story. Stones in the river.