All Comments on 'Simply His Ch. 07-09'

Stopping by to vote here! :)

Continues to be very good. So, is Gideon a wolf possibly? Or did he just happen to let wolves out in the hopes they'd attack her? Seems a very strange plan. I wanted to know what the stomping her foot on the ground was. I can't imagine he needed to know when to growl at the wolves. His instincts would take care of that. That's a huge risk to go out in public in wolf form even with fake papers for him.

I put a comment for last chapter but in case you don't go back to them, you want to start a new paragraph when the speaker changes. It is a grammatical rule and makes it much easier to read so you don't get confused about who is speaking.

I wouldn't title sections. It was confusing to have that part labeled Alex and Cara and as I started reading I assumed it was them in bed. Clearly it didn't make sense when reading what she said, hence the confusion till I realized we were still with Caleb and Meadow.

I think you're doing a great job of showing the force of will it is taking for Caleb to keep control of his wolf, esp. with her being threatened. I can't imagine he's willing to leave her at this point or let her go back to ork. I wouldn't put it past him to buy the company and fire Gideon, but clearly he is so crazy that he will go after her anyway. What is his problem? We don't have a good reason why he'd take this so far. Did he have feelings for her and feel rejected somehow? It'd make sense that her being with Caleb might make him snap.

I'm very surprised that she didn't question him about his eyes glowing.

I appreciate the frequent updates. Looking forward to more. I know you're having trouble with editing. I'd put it through a spell and grammar check at least if you're using a program like word. That would catch some of the mistakes for you.

I found a new kind soul who is helping me with the edits! so instead of submitting the next 3 chapters today, I am giving it a day or two more for my editor to take a look at them and so the next set will be much better!

@cannd - Gideon is, besides her superior at work, someone who just became a bit obsessed with Meadow. It was a risk but he took it when he let the wolfs out of their cage. I have seem this happen in real life when people want to do damage, this time though, it was a convenient coincidence that he chose to let the wolfs out instead of other animals. Yes, it was a big risk for Alex to go as a wolf even with fake papers, but this was inmediate threat, and Cara and Alex trying to jump in and help them as humans would have look like 2 crazy people on a death wish, so I went with the other option. Cara clicking her heel on the floor was a trigger, I wanted to show her and Alex knowing how to work together. A growl in a bad time and someone could freak out. Well that is at least how I thought it.

I basically title sections to have an idea of what will the chapter be about, I also put first who is the one telling the story. You see the title and you know it will be about Cara and Alex, but the story and impresion of them is told from either Caleb or Meadow's perspective.

I know that as of yet we dont know much more about Gideon's reasons, but as I warned from start, this is a slow burner, and Gideon is going to be the subject of at least 6 more chapters (wont spoil more than that) and all your questions will be answered :)

She thought she saw his eyes glow but it was briefly so she just let it pass, thinking it might just have been a play of lights, my mistake for not pointing that out I guess.

This kind of comments really help me! I like to know what you guys think and how the story reaches you, so I can use my mistakes to improve for the following chapters. Already implementing a new style of conversation dialog for the next set!

@loumey - thank you for your constant suport dear, I am your greatest admiror!

I want more, cake wait for the next chapters.

Your grammar is improving. Keep up the good work.

This is an interesting story, but the grammar really makes it impossible to get into it. I understand that English is your second language, but it seems like your grammar is getting worse with each submission. I would recommend waiting until you have a good editor before you submit any more chapters.

Hello!

Your story is great, keep on writing. The rare mistakes really are no problem for me. Really looking forward for more!

The correct term is, I'm sorry for your loss.

Loss - to be deprived of, to lose someone or something

Lost - to be in a location that you are totally unfamiliar with and having no idea on how to get back to a known location.

The plural of wolf, is wolves. The word wolfs refers to when someone is gobbling their food down very quickly. I'm glad that you're getting an editor because I'm an avid reader and skipping over parts of your story pains me because the premise is awesome and it has loads of potential. Good luck and keep creating!

This story is coming along great! Knowing English is not your native language I think you're doing really good! Not many people who are learning the English language grasp the concept of reading and writing the language. Kudos to you! I will continue to read your submissions!

I would love to edit your stories for you, I absolutely love the work that you put out and wouldnt mind being able to just read through and help fix things, just let me know and we can swap emails and start working on things.

Plush_Lover :*

As I mentioned on a comment earlier, I found an editor, and next chapters editted should be up tomorrow or so!

To the several @Anonymous - thank you for your imputs and suggestions, and for saying you like my story enough to go pass the grammar mistakes! I am currently going thru all the prior chapters as well as the already written ones with my new editor :)

@Plush_Lover thank you so much for offering your help! I found one editor and working with him now, I hope you continue to enjoy the following stories and let me know what you think about the chapters!

@everyone! Please remember is a slow burner, you might have questions now that will be answered in later chapters, just hold on please! be patient with me!