Sister-In-Law Surveillance

"With regards to Sammi-Jo and cash, a few weeks before that she was going through her bag looking for Zayden's dummy, and I couldn't help noticing that she had a lot of cash in her purse," said Dad. "Fifty dollar notes, and at least two hundred dollar notes as well. I thought it a little strange at the time, but didn't say anything until Bev found that receipt."

"So, Sammi-Jo had cash in her purse and paid for some petrol with cash?" I asked. "What does that prove?"

"It isn't only us that have seen Sammi-Jo with lots of cash, its Paul too," said Mum. "He was in the city one day for a conference, and he saw Sammi-Jo in this up-market children's clothing store buying dresses, no doubt for her to parade our granddaughters around at one of those awful child beauty pageants she puts the girls in."

Mum breathed deeply and I could see her frustration at the whole child beauty pageant scene Sammi-Jo and her sisters and mother were into, and I waited for my mother to continue. "Paul saw Sammi-Jo but she didn't see him, and he saw her paying cash for the dresses."

Again, I thought of a more rational explanation. "Perhaps Daniel and Sammi-Jo were arguing over her spending habits and she didn't want him to see the purchases on her credit card statement and therefore paid cash? They wouldn't be the first couple to get into disputes over money, you know."

"Since when has that brother of yours ever stood up to that wife of his?" spat Mum. "And Daniel is not the sort of man to worry about money, he lets his accountant handle that and gets on with his cricket. He would not be going through his wife's credit card statements. Anyway, would Sammi-Jo even get paper credit card statements? She has apps on her phone for that, and from what I've seen a number of credit cards. And we repeat, she is not a cash person, everything goes on plastic, plastic like she is the little tramp."

"Perhaps Sammi-Jo got the cash from gambling?" I suggested, thinking about the allegedly unfaithful husband who was in fact a gambling addict. "A jackpot on the pokies, a run of luck playing on the tables at the casino or maybe a win on the horses?" A number of Sammi-Jo's social media photos showed her at race meetings dressed up to the nines in fancy frocks with matching hats, sipping champagne and enjoying herself with her sisters and other sporting WAG friends. "Sammi-Jo does like a day out at the races."

"Again, Sammi-Jo would likely use an app on her phone if she was winning money from gambling not deal in cash," said Mum. "It's as likely as her having a cheque book, in fact I doubt Sammi-Jo would even know how to write out a cheque. When she goes to the races, she's more interested in fashion and socializing than betting. And speaking about gambling, there's something else."

"What's that?" I asked. "Most of what you're telling me about her involves money, how does that suggest infidelity?"

"Paul's parents were at the casino for lunch and they saw Sammi-Jo," said Mum. "She was walking across the gaming floor with a man, an Indian-looking man, and they were talking and laughing."

"Were they holding hands, being affectionate, anything like that?" I asked.

"Well, no," said Mum.

"Mum, would Mr. and Mrs. Philby even recognize Sammi-Jo?" I asked. "They don't see her that often, they could be mistaken. Maybe they saw a girl that just looked like Sammi-Jo?"

"Oh, they knew it was Sammi-Jo alright," Mum fumed. "How could they ever forget her? The way she carried on at their anniversary party, her breasts out feeding her son who is way too old for that, doing that disgusting bird feeding thing with Zayden in front of everyone and trying to encourage other mothers with young daughters who were there to put their daughters into child beauty pageants."

"So, Sammi-Jo was at the casino talking with an Indian man not her husband and there were no signs of physical contact between them," I said. "What does that prove? Nothing. Perhaps they were at the same table, got talking and were just having a friendly conversation, then went on their way? Maybe Sammi-Jo and his wife know each other through the online parenting site or social media, she met them for lunch at the casino one day and the wife was in the toilet or playing another game at another table?"

Mum looked displeased. "I wish you would be more supportive Rachel. Your brother's wife is a serious problem, and each time we present you with evidence of what she's up to, you shoot it down."

"Mum, you haven't presented me with anything to suggest that Sammi-Jo is being unfaithful," I said. "Just hearsay from Paul and his parents and some concerns about her being dismissive one day when you watched her son, her driving out of town and her been seen with cash on others. Daniel hasn't mentioned any problems or concerns. Everything you have told me has a rational explanation. It's like if you have rustling noises in your roof, you think mice, rats or possums. You don't immediately think your house is haunted."

"Mr. and Mrs. Philby mentioned that Sammi-Jo acted odd when she saw them," asserted Mum. "She stopped, looked at them and as soon as she recognized them looked a bit dismayed for a second or so then guided her man friend in another direction. The little slut. Anyway, if you don't want to believe Paul's parents, what about your own sister?"

"Fiona? What has Fiona got to do with all this?"

"Fiona had to pick up some people from the Melbourne head office at the airport one day and she saw Sammi-Jo there, not to talk to, just in passing as Fiona was driving. Anyway, later Fiona mentioned to Sammi-Jo that she had seen her at the airport, and Sammi-Jo flat out denied she had been there that day. In the end, Fiona just agreed with her that she must have seen a lookalike, but she knew it was Sammi-Jo."

"Again, perhaps it was Sammi-Jo spending too much money again and not wanting Daniel to find out about it?" I suggested. "There's lots of direct factory outlet shops at the airport, maybe she was heading there with her credit cards? Or that cash you seem to think magically appears in her purse?"

"Sammi-Jo was nowhere near the shops, she was heading towards one of the hotels according to Fiona," said Mum firmly. "But if Sammi-Jo had an innocent reason for being there, why would she deny it? And Fiona said Sammi-Jo was definitely defensive and a bit dismissive, like she was with us that day when we watched Zayden and we asked her about her day."

"Again, a bit odd but still not enough to convince me," I said.

"Perhaps this will?" Mum asked. She took out her phone and brought up a short video. "I took this in Glenelg on Sunday when the little tramp thought she was on her own and nobody else was watching."

"I thought I was the private investigator and ex-cop, did you know you were married to Miss Marple?" I joked to Dad, as I looked at the video. "She's on her phone? Sammi-Jo is using a mobile phone? Stop the press! That's a bigger news story than September 11."

Mum glared at me. "As usual Rachel you are too smart for your own good. Use your eyes, and look at the phone she is using."

I looked more closely. Sammi-Jo was indeed talking on a mobile phone, but it was not her usual I-Phone that had an app for everything, maybe even for changing her tampon. It was a small phone, a flip phone from the late 2000s - 2010 or 2011 at the latest - and years out of date. Sammi-Jo was way too far away to hear what she was saying, but I could see her face and she kept casting glances back to where everyone else was in Colley Reserve. Clearly she didn't want anyone else to hear her conversation.

"That is strange, Sammi-Jo wouldn't normally be seen dead with a phone like that," I said.

"You see what we mean, there is something really strange going on with that girl," said Dad.

"It still doesn't prove infidelity," I said. "So, I gather you would like me to conduct surveillance on Sammi-Jo, get the evidence that she's cheating on Daniel?"

"Yes," said Mum.

"Forget it," I said.

Mum looked outraged. "Rachel, you leave school and go into a dangerous job. You leave that job and you go into another dangerous job. Your father and I worry about you constantly, then when we ask for your help you flat-out refuse."

"Mum, Dad, I think we need to go through this one step at a time," I said. "First, you're right. My job can be dangerous. I come into contact with con-artists, adulterers, junkies, perverts, pedophiles and lots of other awful people you don't want in your life. I don't want you mixed up in any of this."

"We just want to hire you as a private investigator to keep tabs on your brother's cheating wife," said Mum.

"Mum, I can't do that even if I wanted to," I said. "It's a clear of conflict of interest, I can't be involved. If you really want I can talk to my boss and he can arrange a meeting, but I can't be there and I can't be part of any investigation. Another PI would have to handle the case."

"We really wanted to keep this in the family," said Dad.

"That's another thing," I said. "You've got it into your minds that Sammi-Jo is carrying on an affair, but Daniel doesn't see any problem. Daniel seems very happy with Sammi-Jo. Let's say that she really is having an affair and I turn up evidence of this. Daniel suddenly has a problem in his marriage he was unaware of, and maybe they break up. Is he going to thank either of you or me for bringing this to light? I don't think so, in fact knowing Daniel the opposite would be true."

"So it's better to you that that little tramp mooches off your brother's money, does a terrible job of raising his kids and makes a fool of him by sleeping around with other men all over town?" Mum snapped. "Some sister you are Rachel. Fiona wouldn't take your attitude, I can tell you that much."

"Again, we need to go through this step by step," I said to my parents. "One, Fiona is not in my line of work, I have had a lot of experience at this sort of thing so I know how messy this could get. Two, we don't even know Sammi-Jo is having one affair let alone multiple ones, you need to calm down and be rational, don't get over-emotional. Calling her a tramp and a slut helps nobody. Three, you really need to be aware of the potential consequences of this. There's kids involved, your grandchildren. Things get really unpleasant when marriages falter especially through cheating and you put children in the equation and things get even worse. Do you want to put Heaven, Neveah and Zayden through that?"

Mum was unmoved. "We want Sammi-Jo to be followed to find out what she's getting up to, and we want you to do the surveillance."

I sighed. "Mum, did you just hear anything I just said? I cannot be involved because it is a conflict of interest. I can speak to my boss and he could set up a meeting with you, but I have to be out of it. In any case, how could I do the surveillance? I'm Daniel's sister, she knows me by sight."

"Perhaps you can do the surveillance in your own time?" Mum suggested. "You do have a week off next week, and Daniel is in Sydney and Canberra. And you could wear a disguise."

"What is this, amateur hour? Some B-grade 1960s TV show about private investigators?" I complained. "This is not a game, this is very serious, with the potential for really bad consequences for everyone involved. And anyway, what if I have plans myself next week?"

"You don't, do you?" Dad asked.

I actually didn't have plans to travel, having not long ago gone on a holiday to Darwin and a conference in Melbourne a few weeks ago, so just planned to spend the week chilling at home and doing some gardening. "No, but that's not the point. Do you want me to speak to my boss Ian or not?"

"Only if you do the surveillance," Mum said.

"And now we're back at square one," I sighed. I looked at my parents and sighed. "Okay, I can't believe I'm saying this, but okay. Next week I'll do some discrete checks on Sammi-Jo just to put your minds at rest. I don't think she's cheating, and I'll prove it to you."

"Are you going to bug the house?" Mum wanted to know. "That way if she's entertaining men at the house while everyone else is out, you'll have all the evidence you need."

"Mum, there's very strict laws in Australia on surveillance and recording devices," I said. "Don't forget, there's kids in the house and it wouldn't be ethical for me to plant bugs. And we need to establish some clear rules. One, this is not to be discussed outside of the three of us, not even with Fiona and Paul. Two, I can only do certain things because this is unofficial, I can't do things I normally do when I'm officially working a case. And three, I can't accept any payment but I do expect you to reimburse me for the hire car and any clothes I need to buy to disguise myself."

"Why will you need a hire car?" Mum wanted to know.

I sighed. "Because Mum, I can hardly use my own car, can I? And I will need to disguise myself."

Finally, I was able to get my parents to agree to everything I said and I returned to the office, looking at some black swans and some high school rowing teams out in boats on the Torrens as I crossed the bridge to the north side of the river. I couldn't believe I had agreed to this, and felt more than a little apprehensive. I would probably have refused altogether save for the fact that some things my parents mentioned were definitely odd, such as Sammi-Jo using the old mobile phone, her carrying unusual amounts of cash and being evasive about places where she had been. It didn't add up, and my curiosity was aroused, although I still doubted she was having an affair.

Walking back into the office, I thought about Australian soap operas. Like in all countries around the world, these were declining in number and we just had two soaps left on TV now, one filmed in Sydney and the other in Melbourne. In past years soaps had been produced set in Brisbane and the Gold Coast, but these were long since cancelled.

Adelaide, Perth, Darwin, Canberra or Hobart had never had a soap produced set in these cities. But if a TV network was looking to produce a soap set in Adelaide, all they had to do was go to the Burgess, Maclean and to a lesser extent the Philby families and turn on the cameras. Throw in Mrs. Blunt and her husband from this morning for good measure, with Ian Cairncross and Claire Wake from work playing supporting roles. Everyone acting the way they normally did would probably produce the most entertaining Australian soap opera ever.

*

All through Friday I had to try and concentrate in the morning as I gave evidence as a witness in court in a case where a wealthy family had suspected their daughter-in-law of being up to something, and as things had turned out she was selling company secrets and engaging in insider trading. I wished my parents had suspected Sammi-Jo of white collar misdeeds rather than cheating on my brother.

Finishing off my work when back in the office, I returned home still apprehensive about what I had let myself in for, following my brother's wife around all of next week. On Saturday, I didn't have to do any surveillance in person, all I had to do was follow the social media of Sammi-Jo and her sisters provided their followers with an ongoing commentary of what they were doing for the day.

This was a trip to the Adelaide Zoo for the Maclean family. This included the matriarch Hilary and Mr. Maclean, who I thought had about as much impact to the family as a drone bee had to the structure of a hive of honeybees.

Then there were the three MacLean sisters and their husbands and kids. Lori-Beth and her professional footballer husband Matt and their kids, fraternal twin brother and sister Chastitee and Xeke who were the same age as Sammi-Jo and Daniel's twin daughters, and their younger sister Honestee, the same age as Zayden. Younger sister Jamie-Lee, pregnant with twin boys, was there with her husband, professional golfer Brandon and their daughter Starlette who was turning three next month.

While my brother Daniel and Jamie-Lee's husband Brandon were more supporting characters in their wives' family vlogging and blogging, Lori-Beth's husband Matt took a more active role in these videos. This wasn't a good thing. Matt was the type of guy who loved practical jokes, and his favorite target was his son Xeke, a kid with a nervous disposition at the best of times.

Today at the zoo was a good example, Lori-Beth putting up videos she thought cute of the father and son standing outside the tiger and lion cages as the big cats were fed, the young boy clearly terrified as the cats devoured the meat while growling and roaring, the kid pleading, 'Can we go now?'. His father was laughing and telling Xeke that tigers, lions and panthers roamed the Adelaide Hills to his young son's increasing terror.

It was similarly filmed as Xeke was terrified of a crocodile that lay with his mouth open and the mandrills which were clearly not in the mood for visitors today and put on an aggressive display, Lori-Beth, Matt and the two girls laughing at Xeke as he stood crying in terror. His father was telling him that the Torrens and Port Adelaide Rivers were filled with crocodiles that killed thousands of children every year, and that a mandrill lived in the large gum tree across the road from them. Matt convinced his son that he had seen the aforementioned mandrill watching Xeke with binoculars, wearing a chef's hat, licking its lips and rubbing its tummy, planning for the right moment when it would sneak into the house in the dead of night, abduct Xeke and take him back to the tree to cook and eat him for tea. Lori-Beth thought this was hilarious, and given the laughter, so did everyone else.

This wasn't the first time that something like this had happened. All I had to do was click on another recent video to watch the family at the regional town of Murray Bridge, waiting for the bunyip statue to appear. While most South Australian children loved the bunyip - Fiona, Daniel and I did when we were kids - Xeke was an exception and the young boy sat crying in terror as his father gleefully counted down the seconds until the monster emerged from the muddy Murray River waters, roaring loudly and Matt laughing like a hyena at his son's horrified reaction.

Then there was a Halloween video, where Lori-Beth convinced her son that there would be a big surprise waiting for him in his bedroom. This was true, it was his father dressed up as a clown, who jumped out at his son while roaring, before laughing as the boy screamed and fled in terror. There was also a video where Matt was dressed as a ghost roaming the house late at night making ghost noises, one of Matt telling Xeke that a passing plane was a UFO, and another where Matt pretended he was getting electrocuted to the distress of his son, before leaping up and yelling, "Just kidding!"

Of course, this excursion would prove nothing about what Sammi-Jo was up to, her husband and the rest of her family were right there and she wasn't exactly going to seduce some handsome young zoo employee behind a tree. However, it did seem to show that among the group Sammi-Jo wasn't the worst parent, with this honor going to her brother-in-law Matt. When the zoo excursion ended later in the afternoon the family went through the adjacent Botanic Gardens, where Matt told his son that when he was a boy on a school trip, a plesiosaur-like lake monster had come out of the waters of one of the ornamental lakes and grabbed the boy next to him, dragging him to his death. If in ten years' time Lori-Beth and Matt wondered why their son was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, these prank videos on the boy might be a big part of this.

Sunday saw Sammi-Jo take Daniel to the airport to catch his flight to Sydney for his cricket commitments for the next 10 days, the family having breakfast in a café before wishing their dad/husband all the best and seeing him off with the rest of the team. Following this, Sammi-Jo drove the kids back home, and I later read her parenting blog about them going to play in the park at Henley Beach, then returning home and doing various things around the house for the rest of the day. So exciting!