All Comments on 'Sister Needs a Hand Pt. 01'

you had a good idea and an interesting story but you maid a hell of a lot of writing errors and you wrote conflicting senctences like,, i went around the table and kissed all of them,, and then the next one was,, but only vic got the kiss,, so it was really hard to read

“I will never make a living singing but I can get by. With a crowd that is drinking and doesn't even know the song, I will be fine. Actually, I killed it.” You contradicted yourself here as well as other places. You also misplaced names, and your pace of the story was odd.

This is not your best.

I have enjoyed most of your stories and this one looks like another good series. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Usually I get to the bottom of the first page and if I’m not hooked and see it’s a five page story I’ll Pass....this one...before I new it I was at the bottom of the fifth page just a few spelling mistakes, but they weren’t distracting. Really want to see where this goes next.

Fantastic story, would love another chapter at minimum

I am looking forward to reading more. I like the way you write and get the characters to interact. The story moves along well. 5* Thanks for your time and imagination.

plz let chapter 2 not be far behind

Errors galore and your use of present tense instead of past tense is annoying.

there are a number of places where you either used the wrong word or miss-spelled a word.

Either you need to improve your proof reading or get someone to do it for you.

The present tense was really annoying.

Really, really rushed. A lot of the 'scenes' are, "So and so got naked. The other girl ate her. Then, someone else got naked."

waiting for the next part

Thought that was over and GLAD WE HAVE MORE.

CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT EPISODE.

I hope you will add more SOON

kept me interested for 5 pages, the beginning was a little rushed but, can't wait for part 2.

Great read. BTW - i did a spellcheck on this - NO typos. NONE. 3 missed apostrophes. So much for the critics. Personally I like the use of the first tense. It’s different. It’s like it’s your voice. Keep on writing!!

Your writing doesn’t have any soul to it. I figure most anyone will understand what I’m saying. You have a story, but nothing to love. Nothing to connect to. Agree with others that the whole thing had lots of potential, but felt rushed. There were lots of contradictions (has sex with Pat in dressing area, but later hasn’t had sex with anyone yet, especially Pat), as well as spelling and grammar mistakes. Name switches (Kathy and Karen) were annoying. And the whole last two pages at the sex shop were just weird, unrealistic, and honestly lame. Extra stuff that took away from the story. I liked enough that I stuck with it, but doesn’t make me interested in continuing further or checking out any of your other writing. Sorry pal. Trying to provide honest feedback. I rated it a 3 star.

First off thank you. I couldn't put it down once I started reading and it was very good, I'm not the critic that some people are, if I enjoy it then I'm happy. I was glad to see there is a second part.

The story, hopefully, will be entertaining. However your use of present tense makes it very hard to read. Things do not happen now, they occurred in the past. Might sound silly but much easier to read. Present tense makes the story feel like you are writing terse diary entries with no feeling or emotion.

Your writing style is, to be perfectly honest, atrocious. It was stiff (and not in the good way), and lacked feeling. You contradicted yourself repeatedly, and, yes, the present tense makes it absolutely painful to read. Story can make it worth ignoring some bad writing, but in this case, it was just impossible to slog through it in search of something worthwhile.

Great story but needs a wrap up.5

Fuckin amazing story. Going read the sequel right now thank you

Love the story, AAAAAA++++++

This is a Sssooo imaginative story...well-thought-out, details are there, and developed so nicely...however,

You still need lots of editing work...some of the narrative is stilted, at best...makes following the story tedious...

Yet, I still give you **5** Stars...'cause I love the girls and Steve...more the girls (I like girls, uess I do!)

Excellent? Of course and worthy of 5 BIG FAT FLUFFY STARS!