Sisters Share Ch. 04

I think it's about time that I introduce myself on here, I'm Victoria. Yes, that Victoria, in Charlotte's little...I don't know what she calls this. Her diary, I guess? I found it online the other day, and asked her about it. She said it's just something she does...for no reason? She said I could make one on her account here, so I figured I'd do just that. Tell my story, as it were. I mean, sisters share, right?

I have to admit, Charlotte's memory is...insane. I think everything she said we said...that's pretty much exactly what we said. My memory is less...precise. But, good enough, to tell my own little story. First things first. I've seen some of the comments and questions. Yes, I love my sister, and yes I love Danny. No, not in the same way as Charlotte does. It's...as Char would say, it's difficult to explain. See, my sister loves Danny in...every way. Like if they stopped having sex right now, she'd still love him, no matter what.

I love him and he loves me, it's just...mostly sexual. Like don't get me wrong, we love each other and just hanging out. We have regular dates and movie nights, both and without my sister, but for us...I think the main thing that holds us together is the sex. Like if we were to stop right now, I don't think we would last. And I think Danny and Char know that too. It's...complicated, I guess.

Anyways, I think that's probably enough general exposition on our lives. I see her last...entry? Post? Whatever, I see she told you all about our...my bender. I...she...agh this is harder than I thought it would be. Look, the reasons she put in there, the things she said I said and did...I did. I did say them, I did do them, but they made a hell of a lot more sense at the time. You have to...look. Before Charlotte came back into my life, I...I kind of hated him. Yes, I know she's a her, but at the time, I didn't know that, the last contact I'd had, she'd been he. And I hated Charles.

See, I grew up with Charles, but I was eight years older than him. So we never really...connected. Not in any meaningful sibling way. And when Charles left, it was...explosive. Both our parents hadn't really wanted another child and kind of took it out on him. Not usually physically, but they were definitely harsher with punishments than they'd been with me. So I didn't really blame him for leaving, but I didn't take it well when he lumped me in with them and cut us all out.

And then she came swanning back as Charlotte, with her life all together, a perfect fiance and more money that I'd ever seen before. I was...jealous, but I didn't really want that to affect our newly found relationships as sisters. And there was one more thing...Char really looks like me. Like, I know it wasn't intentional, just genetics and everything, but when I opened that door and saw just a better more successful version of myself...well it kind of fucked me up mentally.

So, I shoved all that down. Then, after a few months...well I thought it was gone. Mostly. I'd still have some jealousy flare ups, but they were manageable. I mean, it's like Char said. I didn't know what she'd gone through, the mental battles and physical struggles. I hadn't really been part of her journey, I didn't need to be judging it, you know? And then that date...Chad. What a sorry fucking excuse for a man...sorry.

The date was...well it was terrible, but it started off how we'd expected. Danny had done more than I expected to be more...male looking, though he still looked like he was about to go on some runway, but it was clear even to me that that was just how he was. I'm still not even entirely sure what it is he does for work. Something to do with sales. He's explained it to me more than a few times, but I just don't get it. Looking the way he does helps though, but some of his coworkers hate him for it. I didn't really know that then, so I was still a little bothered by his appearance. I knew I shouldn't be, but I was. There was no direct reason or anything, I just was.

So we met at the bar, since Char and Danny were my ride, and he was already there. Chad. Pretty much the spitting image of his profile picture. He was tall, and broad chested, fairly muscular. Not overly so, but enough to be noticed. He wore a button up shirt with a few buttons undone and I could see the starting of hair on what bit of his chest was visible. He was...pretty much everything I expected in a 'traditional man'. And I was happy about that.

Don't get me wrong, I obviously don't need my man to be traditional, but back then, it almost felt like a breath of fresh air. I'd been on my own for a while, with only my sister and her guy-who-i-was-convinced was a girl who just wouldn't admit it. I mean, he had to be. Looking back, I shake my head at my own fucking stupidity, but back then, despite all their assertions to the contrary, I was certain that Danny would eventually 'come out' as a girl.

But Chad...there was no doubt he was a man. He stood at the bar with a beer in hand and a cocky smile on his face. When he saw us, his eyes lit up and he came over to see us. Now, I'm not certain, but I'm pretty sure he was more heading towards Charlotte, before I stepped in front. Now, to his credit, he rolled with it, and didn't mention anything about Char, taking my hand and giving it a light kiss like a gentleman. I was kind of...enjoying that. The 'chivalry'. He pulled my chair - well bar stool, there were no proper chairs - out for me and even made sure to let me know he'd cover our bill. 'first date is on me' he said.

But I kept seeing his eyes drift to Char who sat beside me. To her credit, she was too busy playing footsie with Danny to notice. Seriously, I've never seen two people so in goddamn love. The rest of the bar just didn't exist outside of them. Anyways, I tried to ignore it. Then at one point, Danny and Char went to the bar for a drink or...for darts maybe? It's been a long time. Anyways, Chad watched them leave, I think convinced that they were lesbians, despite Danny having bean introduced as male. Oh, yeah it was darts, cause the two of them dominated it. Turns out that Danny is a goddamn darts champ, and Charlotte was his apprentice, easily trumping everyone else. Every time Danny got a bullseye - which was very often - she'd reward him with a sloppy kiss or dancing against him. I honestly don't think they really registered that people could see them. Sometimes I'm jealous of that sort of love, even now.

Then Danny pounds me so hard that I forget my own name, and it's all good. As Char would say, we'll get to that.

It was...two minutes into them completely owning the competition that Chad murmured something. I don't think he thought I'd hear him, but I did. I'll never forget it.

"I wish I had a girl completely dedicated to me like that."

It offended me to my core, for a few reasons. One, it was clear he didn't realize that dedication goes both ways, he just wanted a woman as an object. And two, my jealousy...it jumped. Here was my sister, an artificial woman, somehow more desirable than me? A natural woman? One who wore almost the same face, the same body, hell the better body - in some ways - and he wanted her?!

God, looking at my old self...I feel nothing but shame. I was literally mad at my sister cuz some asswipe wanted her and she didn't even know it! Ugh. But at the time? It made sense to me.

So I left. The table, I mean. He didn't notice; his attention was on my sister who was currently making out with Danny after winning yet another game. I don't even know if he won or she did, I made it a point to ignore her and went to the bar, got a drink. A shot. Then another. On the third one, some guy offered to buy it. I wasn't quite drunk yet, but was tipsy so it felt good. Someone wanted me not my sister. I took him up on it, as long as he took one too. I don't even remember his name; it didn't matter to me. In that moment, all that mattered was that I was desired. After years of trying and failing to get a decent date, after having next to no friends, working a dead end job, after months of watching my perfect sister in her perfect life with her perfect fiance? This was exactly what I needed.

Or so I thought. You read Char's last post, right? You know how it all went down.

So I got drunk, like stupid drunk. And he offered to get me a cab home, he was all gentlemanly. So I kissed him. Well, more like a horribly drunk attempt at making out that had way way too much tongue and more spit than any kiss should ever have, period. But he enjoyed it, and asked if maybe I wanted to go home with him. I don't remember my exact response - I was drunker than I'd ever been before - but it was definitely an affirmative. I wanted it.

We got back to his place, a decent apartment, and I passed out on his floor. I tried to sneak out the next morning, but he'd moved me to his bed and was making breakfast. It smelled heavenly and still made me nauseous. I was so hung over, I couldn't even stand without falling. He told me we hadn't done anything, but he was happy to feed me and help me get over the hangover. He had a 'hangover cure', if I wanted it. It looked horrible, a yellowy orange semi liquid in a glass. I asked what was in it. He said I didn't wanna know, not till after. I shrugged and took it. It. Was. Disgusting. Like horrible. And yet, I felt better pretty quickly. I asked what it was;

"Bacon grease, and egg yolk." I almost vomited at that.

He laughed and told me he had no expectations for me, that I was free to leave and never look back if I wanted. It was weirdly...comforting. He headed to the shower and I debated on leaving. But I didn't wanna go home, I didn't wanna see the empty apartment and I definitely didn't want to see little miss perfect. I sent her a quick text, letting her know I was safe and alive, then turned off my phone. Dude bro...I wanna say Daman? Darian? I don't know, something with a D. He came out of the shower, wearing a towel and raised an eyebrow at me. I think he thought I'd be gone.

He asked if I needed cab fare, and I just laughed. Told him I didn't wanna go home, that I wanted to...be with him. I think when I said it, I was trying to be sultry or slutty, but it probably came out different. Either way, he took me up on it, on the condition that I shower and brush my teeth - he had some extra brushes. So I did, and it felt...pretty nice. When I came out, he'd remade the bed and was sitting there in a robe. I think...I think he wasn't sure if I actually was gonna do anything. I think he was a little worried about taking advantage since I'd been so drunk the night before. It made me so aggravated and so horny at the same time. I wanted him to desire me so much that he didn't care. I wanted him to push me to the bed and have his way with me.

But you can't really just say that to a stranger who you'd thrown up on his floor. I didn't find that out till later; he'd apparently spent quite a while cleaning his carpet.

So I let the towel drop, showed him my naked form and saw his eyes light up in desire. It felt so good to see that. I pushed him down, leaning over him, slowly opening his robe. He was pretty good looking. Not overtly gorgeous or anything, but nothing to complain about. The very beginnings of pecs, some decent musculature in his shoulders. A nice tan too, something that seemed very kissable. So I did; I kissed his lips, moved down his jaw a little, kissing down his neck, leaving a nice sized hickey. Yes, yes, it's a very teenage thing to do, but I liked it and he didn't complain.

He placed a hand in my hair and I moaned lightly, letting him know I liked that. He pulled and I moaned again...and that was it. He didn't pull me anywhere, didn't take advantage. It was disappointing, but I was determined to see this through, plus I could feel him growing against my leg, so I let that keep me turned on. Plus, it'd been a while since I'd had any, so I was too horny to care too much.

I kept kissing down his body, pushing his robe more and more open, till I reached that thing I wanted, that huge throbbing...no. I literally said no, in my mind. It was...normal. Average, probably six or so inches. Nothing terrible, nothing to be ashamed of, but...I'd seen Danny's fucking log, and now nothing else was ever going to compare.

I pushed that aside, and kissed his tip. He shivered and that brought a little pleasure back; smaller than I wanted or not, at least I could use him to get off. So I kissed it up and down, stroked lightly. I licked him a little, just enough to wet him and sat on top of him, holding just above it. He went to say something, maybe it was dirty talk, maybe something else, but I put a finger over his lips. I didn't want to hear it; I just wanted the damn thing in me until I came.

So I grabbed it and angled the curved dick into me and...that was it. It barely spread me, barely felt it, if I was honest. The dildos I hid at home were much bigger than him and honestly? Felt better. Like much better. But I was here, so I figured I'd make the most of it. I began to grind a little, put my arms up, holding my hair and pushing my tits out. He throbbed in response and I grinned. There's something about turning someone on that made me feel...powerful. So I bounced a little and leaned over him. I exaggerated the moans, told him how big he felt, how good it was to have his incredible cock in me.

He ate it up, began to thrust up to me and I'll admit, that actually felt good. Not enough to get me off or anything, but still good. And despite his...less than desired size, he had a decent stamina and we went non stop for a good fifteen or so minutes. I let him cum in me; I wasn't worried. I was on two different birth controls, and my doctor had told me that my fertility was in the bottom ten percentile. It...well even now, I have some mixed feelings on it.

But back to...Damian? Daniel? I don't know. When he finally came, it was a good amount and it made me feel pretty good. I faked an orgasm on him, it wasn't hard. Tighten a little, shiver a bit and moan a lot. Guys eat that shit up so goddamn hard.

We fucked twice more throughout the day, but that night I left. He wasn't what I wanted, and he'd gotten off three times to my one. I'd actually gotten off once but it was more from my own masturbation while he fucked me from behind. I went to the bar, turned on my phone. I had a few messages from Char but I ignored them. I got drunk, more than I should have. There was something about the idea of being drunk that seemed so...enticing. I didn't want to be drunk, but I did. So I did, why not. A couple of guys bought me a few drinks, so I made out with them. It...it was that night that it really started.

I went home with one of them, had sloppy drunk sex. He was a bit bigger, same length I think, but much thicker. It felt better and he actually got me off, so I spent the night, snuck out in the morning. Went to work that day, my make up running and a day old. Went home that night, but was back at the bar the next. That was my pattern; sleep around while drunk for a few days, then go home to sleep it off. Eventually I did move in to Char's, but I spent so much time away, I wasn't really there.

I lost track of time, of where I'd been, who I'd slept with. The more I did it, the less pleasure it gave, but the more I wanted it. The more I drank, the more I wanted to drink. The more I slept around, the better it felt. People, men wanted me, despite my drunkenness, my ugly make up. Looking back, obviously they wanted me because I was drunk and easy, but I refused to think like that. All that mattered was it felt good, even though it really didn't.

Char and Danny tried talking to me more than a few times, but I blew them off over and over. I think it damaged their relationship somewhat, but that just made me feel justified. Like I had to show them they weren't this perfect little happy couple. They were just as bad as the rest, just as bad as me...In short, I was an addict and an asshole. Yes, I know I'm supposed to say I am an addict, but I'm not. Not anymore. I don't drink much and when I do, I make sure to tell Char and Danny, in case I drink too much. But I never do.

Anyways, October hit. Char didn't mention this in her post, but her birthday is October fourth and I missed her first birthday since she came back cuz I was busy under or over someone. I don't even remember where I was that day. But learning I'd missed her birthday? It hit me pretty hard. And that slap? Oh my god. Charlotte/Charles was never a violent person, never seen them hit anyone. Definitely never me as kids, even though I was a little shit who probably deserved it at one point or another.

So when she slapped me...it surprised me more than hurt, though it did hurt. I don't even remember exactly what I said, only that I was trying to hurt her, drag her down to my level, blame it on her. None of this happened before she came back, it had to be her fault. It wasn't, obviously, but that's how I was back then. So I went to go shower, figured I'd clean up and go get drunk, complain about her to some stranger and fuck till I passed out. What a life, right?

But the moment the water hit...I don't know, it's like everything hit along with it. What Char had said. The slap...me. I just sat there while the water hit me, my thoughts running through everything I'd done and said over those last months. The randos I'd slept with, the countless drinks, the blurry nights, the waking in my own vomit on some strangers bed or couch. The bitch sessions I'd had, where I'd done nothing but blamed absolutely everything on Charlotte. The water turned cold, and honestly? It brought back the pity party. Of course it'd go cold on me! But as I slowly got used to the freezing temperature, that kind of faded. Not entirely, of course, but a little. Enough to really consider what I'd done, what I'd said.

I cleaned as best I could under that frigid stream and towelled off then went and stood outside Char's door for a few minutes. I knew I'd fucked up, I knew it was my own fault, my own issues that I'd forced on her...but that door seemed all too far and all too close at the same time. At one point, I raised my hand to knock but pulled it back, feeling like a kid forced to 'fess up. Eventually I did knock, but it was light and honestly, I didn't think she'd even heard it. The wait until she opened the door...it felt like forever. Like lifetimes passed while I stood there, wanting her to open it, wanting her to not have heard.

She did open it, of course, and you know how it went from there. We talked and I got a much needed reality check. I left the room, saw Danny standing there. I nodded to him, hoping he wouldn't say anything cuz while I needed to apologize to him, I was emotionally wrecked. He nodded back and I retreated to the room. My room. I laid there, staring at the ceiling for a good while, unsure of just how everything had gotten to this point. Everything had just snowballed so far, so fast...so I masturbated.

I know it sounds weird, and it was - lets be honest. But it also just felt...like it was what I needed to do. I still don't really know why. I had and still have - though I use them far less than I used to - a few basic toys. A dildo, a vibrator, couple of other things some that I hadn't even opened. I grabbed the biggest dildo I had, a fourteen inch monster. Like it was huge compared to every other dick I'd had those months. It was one of the ones with the suction cup, so I stuck it to the floor and squatted over it.