All Comments on 'Slime Monster Knight's Harem'

Some editing would definitely make this even greater, but still I say, "Yes."

Excellent job overall. One thing, it very often isn't clear who is talking. A little trick, give characters objects or tasks that they are handling, while they speak. That way instead of saying "Sarah said," during the dialog, you can have your dialog, and then "Sarah moved the iron around the dress." That both avoids being repetitive, with your words, while allowing you to mark dialog with whom the speaker is.

It's obvious you are a new author, but you are doing a good job. While not everyone can take creative writing classes at their local community college, I believe you can find Youtube videos on creating writing tips and tricks that will help you almost as much as taking a semester at Community State. You have the potential to be a great author, don't let grammar hold you back. Go out there and master it.

Love it! This is really one of the most original stories I've read in a while. Definitely not the boring same old "he grabbed her tits, then slid his dick into her and fucked her till they came" really well thought out with just the right of tension between the ladies. Keep up the writing, looking forward to much more

It was different than most, I'm bias due to it being a fantasy harem, but it overall was verry hot, could do with some editing and fleshing out, and some parts went quite fast, so I didn't really understand fully what was happening, but overall an enjoyable work

Really enjoyed this. Starting to get a sense of this world, and I really enjoy it. Would love to see more.

I'm sure I am disturbing my neighbors as I snort and chuckle while reading this story. Surprisingly well proofed; the errors are overwhelmed by the good-natured perversions. Keep up the good work!

Cheers