All Comments on 'Small Breast Titty Fuck'

The story might come through, with sex so quickly between two strangers with their described background, as being a tad too rushed.

As for storytelling you're several times switching annoyingly between telling this from a third person person perspective ("he/she/they did“) and a first person perspective ("I did ....”), the latter being Tom. Choose one of the perspectives and stick to it. (And for all goodness avoid the second person perspective ,"You are ...“.)

Such perspective inconsistency is a fundamental error, (when not used consiously -- demanding a high skill level of the author), that you should focus on in your next story. Getting assistance from an editor, that you may find here in this forum, would help you avoid problems of this kind.

In lack of an author, put stories you write away for a few days and get them wholy out of your mind. The next time you then read them errors of this and other kinds will much easier spring to your own attention before submission.

Liked the story but it kept going from "I did this" to "Tom did that". Pick how you are going to tell the story, first person or third person, and stick with it. Also have someone proofread it for you...it is distracting to read "their perfect" instead of "they're perfect".

I’ve had experience of having my cock rubbed around my girlfriend’s aureoles until cuming. What a fantastic feeling.