All Comments on 'Small Gifts'

This was unbelievable. Such a great story.

very sweet...with the odd typo, and one or two disgusting 'off ofs'. please don't.

Now that is what I call a LOVE story - Looked at the size (9 pages) and honestly thought it be boring - but after the first page, I couldn't stop reading.

IF this is your first effort - Twas a brilliant story you can be proud of

Tony

Thank you so so much for all the positive comments. This is the first original piece I've ever done, it's a little raw as I'm still learning how to use Literotica as an author. I do have one small fanfic that I did prior, but that's kind of cheating. lol.

Excellent story. So many people try to write about sex. You have written about people ...... some of whom sometimes have sex.

This was the greatest love/sex story I have ever read. It was brilliant, and i do believe you've got some real talent. Go out there and get famous

Outstanding story. Uniquely original. Perfect depiction of the dysfunctional high school jock world I’m ashamed to say I reveled in. Dialogue punctuation and separation could use some work. And I’d like to know more about Vera’s home situation. (Single mom?). But overall a great story. Looking forward to seeing more from this author.

I'm a guy with a big dick, and it's not an unmixed blessing. It's flattering when a girl says "You could be a porn star!", but less so when they follow it with "that's too big for me" or "yeah I do anal, but not with THAT!" Gotta be careful with most girls not to thrust too hard or too deep, especially in doggy. Deep throat doesn't happen. Etc. Glad to see a story that recognizes that, instead of "Max slammed his twelve inch long, four inch thick cock into Sue's virgin opening and she cooed with pleasure."

It’s a very rare thing for an anal story to be sweet and romantic yet you pulled it off.

Can’t wait to see your future endeavors.

And make it a rule: When writing dialogue, start a new paragraph when a different character speaks. It’s so much easier for readers

To follow.

I really enjoyed this story.

Only thing I'd like, if you would please change the way you write dialogue.

Other than that, great work!

Affectionate, romantic, and very hot. It would be great if there were more Kais in the world.

And I think it's acctually kind of sweet how Vera's anal kink is handled like any other preference. It's not something wierd, but more of a "oh, she likes it when I touch her that way" kind of thing, same as with any other woman and any other "that way."

Thank you so much for the feedback. I am a very green writer and didn't know about the dialog cadence thing. I will make sure to do better in the future!

I loved this. Especially the build up and happy ending. Very sweet and the anal sex was so hot.

Thanks I enjoyed this tremendously!

You refer to yourself as a 'green writer'? Not so, very well written, grammar and spelling is excellent.

This is my new favorite example of why I'll always choose reading erotica over the rest. Can't wait to read more! Maybe even a sequel of college era Vera&Kai? Lots of conflict to circumnavigate &/or overcome there, even for them lol

When you change speakers, you should start a new paragraph. It gets confusing when someone else starts talking in the same paragraph.

On page 3 you had one where it was Vera, then Elle, then Vera, then Elle, and then Vera once more without a new paragraph. I had to read it three times to try to figure who said what.

Otherwise I was enjoying the story.

There’s a huge amount of amazing in this story; it certainly approached sex in a completely different way, and the uniqueness of this alone should be applauded. There’s a depth in both detail and sentiment that is rare, and the effort of stitching together a tale that worked on many levels is commendable.

Yes, technically some work is needed, and I hope you can learn from the criticism and grow as a writer rather than taking it to heart. The good news is you’re already a talented storyteller who can draw a reader into their world - which is probably much harder to address than where to start a new line.

Congratulations, that was an absolutely epic first attempt. You’ll only get better.

Wow I loved it

While the story itself was captivating, the paragraph formatting was exceedingly FUBAR. Every time you change characters during a dialog, you should begin a totally NEW paragraph, doofus!!! Seriously, it takes a lot to confuse me, but yet you succeeded! There were times when the speaking character changed, but I missed the new set of parentheses and continued reading on as if I were listening to the same person.

The following quotation really pissed me off though:

As I watched Kai listen, a bizarre mix of happy Indian tones and dark electro beats filled the room.

"Hopi Indian tones" for God's Sake!!!! As in the Hopi Indian Tribe of Northern Arizona!!! I'm lying to you when I tell you that I actually cringed and groaned when I read that sentence. Good story but poorly written gets 3/5 from me.

Ummm clarity for anyone else - Indian as in music from the country of India. Happy up beat music from India. The band is real. You can listen to them.

American’s call Native American music Native American, not Indian. Pretty sure the entire world calls Native American music Native American, not Indian - but maybe somewhere does. Weird flex.

Wonderful story. Warm, fun, entertaining, believeable. Comments on formatting? Really? Had to backup and reread in a vew places but it didn't detract frrom a very nice story. Thanks for writing!

"Perfect" bodies are so over-rated. Warm, sweet, and very hot. Thanks!

Good idea with distractingly bad grammar, spelling, and formatting

Perfect bodies are so overrated 😍😍😍😍 yeah because everyone is craving some lardass blimp with a pot belly Ohhhhh so sexy Baby 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

A really good story very well told.

One of the best stories on here made you feel like you were there without being overly detailed loved it peace

Just a wonderful, fantastic story. Thank you

Hey, thanks for making me aware of Rezz!

I so loved reading this story. It is just so romantic 😍😍😍

Excellent story; grammatically, emotionally, and story wise.

Gives the small man hope, something few writers here do.

Please continue to entertain us! Awaiting your next drop!

I am so glad I found this story again.

I read it a year ago and was thrilled. Then Iost it until I scanned the 2022 Readers Choice Awards backlist.

Now I read it again and its still heartwarming, even better as I took my time to enjoy it more consciously. Even listened to the music, during Kais and Veras meeting at her house.

This is definitely the best story at literotica (imho) and I still hope to read more of you.

I also enjoyed your Jake story, found it interesting and a great challenge - but obviously not as heart warming. In the end Vera and Kai are so much easier to "like" and sympathize with. When I read their story the second time though I kind of understood why you decided to do the "sequel".

Just straight up beautiful.

This is really quite good.