Small Gifts

Instead, it seemed to drive us apart. We were always rushed since we didn't get much alone time due to my mom keeping pretty close tabs on me. When we had sex, it hurt most of the time between being rushed and his bigger size. I don't know why girls like big cocks so much. They're such a pain to deal with - literally.  So, I'd give him head most of the time, just to keep him satisfied. He seemed placated by that.  

I, on the other hand, was dissatisfied. I wanted what Elle talked about with Mark, the whirlwind passion and multiple orgasms. Hell, I'd settle for an orgasm. But, after a few months, I realized I wouldn't have it with Jake. We just didn't have that sexual chemistry and compatibility. That started our descent into separation.

We broke up a few times due to stupid petty arguments but always found our way back together. So, when I discovered him and Kalie having sex, while I was shocked, I was also oddly relieved. Finally, I had a good excuse to move on.

This left me pretty inexperienced in the sex department, yet for some reason, anal was still a big turn-on for me. So, I like my porn how I like my kink, all about that ass. I wasn't even particular about whose ass. My favorite porn was a girl squirting from anal penetration. I loved knowing other women got off on it the way I did. It made me feel like less of a freak.  

Watching the usual videos, I prepared my usual masturbation routine. A few videos before shifting to use my small plug.  

This time was different, though. Kai kept flitting into my mind. I'd try to ignore him, pushing away the annoying asshat invading my special me-time. I was still pissed at him for his outburst the night before. Apparently, my mind thought me being pissed at him made it all the better.  

Before long, I had envisioned him bending me over my bed, my legs pined open by his thick thighs as his smaller length gently pressed into my asshole. There was no struggle and pain like there had been with Jake. Instead, I imagined Kai sliding in just like my plug, filling me in a way I'd only dreamt for so long to be filled.

I imagined Kai pounding into me, his balls slapping my empty pussy. His eager thrusts pushed my face into the mattress while my pussy flooded the sheets when he finally fucked me so good that I squirted. 

I came so hard imagining Kai. Probably the best orgasm I'd ever had. That turned into a weekend-long obsession about Kai as I typed out page after page of an imagined story about our trysts. Writing fiction was a hobby of mine. I'd write a scene, get turned on, and bring myself to another orgasm. That was my weekend.  It was a harmless fantasy. It wasn't like I was going to see the guy again. We'd left it on pretty final terms. 

Now was Monday, and I was exhausted mentally and physically. Spending most of the day avoiding people and not feeling social, I'd managed to make it to 5^th period before my bubble of solitude finally broke.  

"Vera, there you are. Where have you been? I thought you were out sick or something. I texted you, but it just said read." Elle said as she came up to me as I looked through my locker.  

It was between classes, so I was surprised to find anyone in the halls.

"Oh, sorry, Els. I got busy and forgot to text back." Elle leaned against the lockers and perked her eyebrow at me. 

"What's up with you?" she complained. Biting my lip, I thought about what to say. Ironically, I was so afraid of my friends abandoning me after I broke it off with Jake, yet I was the one ignoring them. 

"I'm just drained today. I didn't sleep much this weekend and spent lunch in my car napping." "Are you ok?" "Yeah, yeah, sure, I'll be fine." I waved her off. "Is this whole Jake thing getting to you?" she asked, concerned. "No, not like you mean anyway. I think everything is changing, and I'm a bit overwhelmed by it, you know."  

Elle gave me a wide smile. "Well, not everything has to change," she looped her arm through mine, "us girls can still stick together. I'll tell Mark he can go hang out with the guys after school, and you and I will hang out. Yeah?"  

Heart warm with love and appreciation, I shut my locker door and head down the hall arm in arm with Elle. "Thanks, Elle. Really, that means a lot." "Of course, what're besties for? Look. I know things will get weird in the coming weeks as everyone figures out that you're split for good, but just know I have your back. I don't care what anyone says." 

That gave me a pause. I expected rumors to start, just not this soon. "What are people saying already?" I asked, exasperated. "Oh, nothing yet. It's just Mark. He's convinced you're jerking his boy around on some feminist power trip or something. Don't worry, Vera. I know you and Jake had your ups and downs. I know you're not doing this out of some sort of power play."  

Scrunching my nose, I broached the topic I rarely did with her. "Elle, why do you date Mark. He seems like a real asshole." She sighed. "Oh, he is, but he's not to me. He treats me like a queen. That and the fact he has the most amazing tongue I have had the pleasure of riding. Don't ask me how someone so cocky got so good, but he did."

Her face looked dreamy as she remembered something I wanted to know nothing about.  "Eeeww, TMI!!" I squealed as we approached the library door. "Hey, you asked." Elle shrugged with a grin. "And that'll be the last time I ask," I muttered. "Exactly!" She stuck her tongue out at me before opening the door and leading us through.  

The tables were mostly full of students since this was a study hall period, and I was coming in late. I need not worry; Elle had already grabbed our usual spot when class started. We walked over to the table and sat down as Mrs. Burns began her rounds. She was an impossibly grueling teacher, so Elle and I spent the remaining thirty minutes of the class actually studying, least we provoked the dragon lady.  

Before I knew it, the bell was ringing for the next period. Elle got up and collected her books into her bag when she noticed I wasn't packing up. "Not going to Mr. Hanson's, huh?" She questioned.  

I shook my head. "Jake is in there. I do not want to deal with him right now. Not today." "How long are you going to hide out?" Her brows furrowed with concern. I gave her a gentle smile. "Just today, Elle, promise. I'm just exhausted and not feeling very social. I'm sorry. I know you're used to me being the social butterfly, but I just need some time."  

"Hey, don't worry about me. I'm fine. I just want to be sure you're ok. I don't want you to miss too many classes. That'll be a problem, you know." "I know. Thanks for looking out for me." "Any time, girl. Anytime." With a soft smile, Elle pulled me into a side hug before grabbing her bag and walking to her next class.  

Finished with studying for the day, I slid my books into my bag before getting up to put my stuff on the stash shelves where students kept their bags. After my bag was secured, I started to wander the library aisles.  

The library was extensive and ornate for a small-town high school. It was a donation from a wealthy businessman whose daughter went to school here 6 years ago. The daughter was rumored to have been a book nerd disgruntled that the sports teams got all the funding every year.  

Moseying my way through the stacks, I found my way to the back of the library near mythology. Walking through, my fingers brushing books spines and not paying much attention, I was suddenly stopped by a yipe below me as my foot kicked something.  

I looked down to see a guy in a black hoodie sitting on the floor. He had a book and notebook perched on his lap. Nursing his hand between his lips, which I'm guessing I accidentally kicked, I began apologizing profusely when a familiar deep voice spoke.  

"I know you're pissed at me, Vera, but did you have to kick my drawing hand?" He-who-sits-on-the-floor accused. The guy turned to look up at me, and I was met with deep dark eyes framed by shoulder-length dark hair. The same dark eyes I'd thought of more than once since Friday set in the same furious glare, blinking back at me now.  

Kai, of course, if I had to run into someone, in this case literally, it had to be Kai.  "I didn't kick you on purpose, Kai. I didn't even see you. So why are you on the floor anyway?" He shrugged and turned his attention back to his notebook. "I like to be alone back here. It's quiet."  

That was all he said, acting like I wasn't standing there. "Are you looking for something? You're creeping me out standing over me like that," he said after a moment. "I thought you liked your women dominate?" I provoked. "Your words, Princess, not mine," he growled, dismissing my comment without a glance. 

That weird silence fell between us again as he flipped through a book in his lap. I walked past him, still looking through the books, taking my time. If he was going to pretend that I wasn't here, I could do the same to him.  

After a few moments of my slow perusal, he cleared his throat. "Seriously, what are you looking for?" Shrugging, I kept looking at the books I was at. "Not sure. Something interesting, something I haven't read before." "Book worm, eh?" He asked as he watched me. Sparing a glaring glance at him, I returned to looking through the books and ignoring him.  

I didn't get Kai. One second, he acted shy and innocent, then jovial and confident, only to turn around and be a cold jerk. I barely knew him and already had emotional whiplash. So why he thought he could tell me to fuck off, then try to get to know me again, was pissing me off.  

"Ever heard of Ak Ana?" he asked when I didn't reply. "Who?" I turned to him, curious. "Ak Ana, the water goddess who created the world, according to ancient Turks," he explained as he lifted his notebook towards me.  

Noticing it was a sketchbook, my curiosity got the best of me, and I stepped closer. Drawn to the beautiful artwork sketched across the page, I looked on with fascination. With an expert hand, a woman had been drawn stepping out of a pool of water floating in the cosmos. Her near-naked form was garbed in crystals that looked like water drops as she held the world in her palm, gazing at it with love in her eyes. The sketch was nearly done, except her face was still in rough sketch form, waiting to be completed.  

"You drew this?" The astonishment was apparent in my voice. A casual shrug was his only reply as he handed me the notebook to get a better look. "Just a hobby." "This is more than just a hobby, Kai. This is amazing. What's up with the clock in the water's reflection, though? An odd contemporary choice for such an ethereal piece." Kai tossed the book down next to him and pointed for me to sit. "Here, this book will tell you more about her. It'll make sense then."  

I perked my eyebrow in defiance. "I thought you didn't want to be seen talking to me? Isn't this violating one of your little rules?" He rolled his eyes, "Look around, Vera. No one comes in here this hour. It's the library. We're going to be safe." I tossed his notebook back into his lap and turned. "I wouldn't want to cause you the trouble," I grumbled as I moved to leave.  

A warm hand snaked around my wrist, not hard but persistent. "I'm sorry," Kai said, his voice quiet. I turned to look at him, his eyes shining with emotion. Regret, shame, insecurity. Apparently, shy Kai was back.  

"I'm sorry I was such a dick to you Friday. It's just that I'm not used to people trying to get to know me. Not for good reasons, anyway." Brow furrowed, I pressed for more, "not for good reasons?" "Don't worry about it. Just know that I didn't intend to be an ass to you. It was a really, really nice thing you did for me, and I never even said thank you."  

Indecision raced through my mind at a dizzying speed. Do I accept this bizarre apology, or do I walk out of here and pretend I'd never met this complicated guy? Both points had their merit, but in the end, walking away filled me with an odd dread.  

So, instead of doing the intelligent thing and high tailing it out of there, I picked up the book and sat next to Kai. "A thank you would have been nice, just saying," I told him as I sat down on the floor.  

Kai smiled, the light reaching his eyes. So jovial Kai makes an appearance, I thought sarcastically, as if he was some kind of rotating personality Pokémon. "Why did you do it, by the way?" he asked when I'd settled in, my back against the bookshelf. "Umm, that's not a thank you that I've ever heard before." He chuckled. "Thank you, Vera. Honestly."  

"You're welcome, Kai. As to why, I really, really do not like bullies. That Cooper guy seemed like a top-tier bully. I wanted to flip the script on him. Simple as that." Kai snickered.

"Cooper is my sister's ex; he thinks he can get to her through me." "That's shitty." Kai shrugged, "I'm used to it. My sister is that stereotypical hot girl I told you about. I've had my fair share of fall out being the kid with the hot older sister."  

Mock disgust crossed my features. "Is that why the proverbial hot girl isn't your type?" "Something like that, yeah. Too much drama."  

"I would love to be offended by that statement, seeing as you've called me the proverbial hot girl before, but I can't. Because you're not wrong," I sighed.  

Eyeing me from the side, he gave me a gentle smile. "You don't seem like that much drama," he said gently. I gasped dramatically. "Oh, my stars, did I just get a compliment from you. And here I thought all you were capable of was snark and insults!"

A faint blush reddens his cheeks before disappearing behind his tan skin, leaving his red ear lobes the only sign of embarrassment. I almost felt bad I'd picked up his tale, but only almost. It made up for his cold hard-guy routine.   

"Honestly, Kai, I try not to be drama, but I swear no matter how hard I try to avoid it, it seems to find me. It's one of the reasons I split with Jake. I got tired of all the stupid girl drama around him. I just wanted a break from always having to look over my shoulder."  

Kai didn't say anything, just offered quiet support. Surprisingly, I think he understood where I was coming from more than anyone else. Even my mom was confused as to why I didn't want to spend my last school days with the 'sweet quarterback with the nice bum.'   

"I get wanting to get away from drama. Wise choice." Kai said finally. "I take you've fled your own drama?" I questioned gently. A wave of that stone-cold mask slid over his features as he picked up his notepad and started sketching again. "Something like that," he said quietly but sternly, dismissing the topic.  

I was starting to put two and two together about what brought Kai's colder side. He was always a little standoffish but would eventually warm up to me. But he'd shut back down anytime the conversation steered near his past.  

You can't blame a girl for being curious about what he was hiding, but I was smart enough not to probe. Instead, I changed the subject to make peace. "So why did you choose this At, Ak, whoever, goddess to draw?" He peaked at me for a moment from under his hood, emotion flashing briefly in his eyes before he cleared his throat and returned his eyes to his drawing.  

"Ak Ana has certain characteristics that I find fascinating. She's this amazing beauty, the mother of all life. Everyone expects her to be demure and pure, but underneath what people expect of her is this powerful woman capable of war. She's like the water she represents; gentle and nourishing yet undeniable and raging." Catching another glimpse of me, he erased part of the face he'd framed and started drawing again.  

A gentle smile crept across my lips. "Why do you keep looking at me like that, Kai?" He shook his head. "You'll see." "Okay, that's not vague or anything." That earned a smirk from him. "Not one for patience then, huh," he stated without stopping his pencil strokes.  "Nope. None. Nada. I even skip to the end of the book sometimes." "I was wrong. Maybe you are drama."  

Gasping in mock horror, I stared at him in disbelief. "Hey! That's not fair!" I complained. Catching my expression, he busted into a laugh, a real laugh. It was deep, throaty, and infectious. I shoved his shoulder playfully, insulted that he was laughing at me.  

"Hey, don't shove the artist with a pencil in his hand!" "Oh, my bad," I apologized as I looked over to see if I had made any marks. The drawn face staring back at me was eerily my own.  

My eyes flashed to Kai's. Instead of looking away as I expected, he held my gaze as I searched for understanding. "You remind me of her, Ak Ana. Everyone sees her as this fragile beauty and misses just how strong she is. She's gentle but hard as stone when she needs to be. So, I thought it was fitting to give her your face. Lord knows I've given you enough shit, and you've not backed down once," he explained in a quiet, serious tone.  

Heart speeding, my chest clenched. There was something so simple yet wonderfully captivating about what he'd said. People didn't see me as strong. Jake saw me as someone who'd always agree with him. He was the one to make all the plans, all the first moves, always the one in control.  

The other girls saw me as naïve that they could get away with anything. I was used to feeling like the girl who had to give into what everyone else wanted; to keep the peace.  

Since the start of this year, I've wished I could be more assertive, hold my own, and get what I wanted from life instead of giving others what they wanted. Kai's drawing moved me because he saw the me that I wished I was. 

"That's how you see me?" My voice was soft as I shifted toward him.  "Yeah, that's how I see you. How could I not?" He said seriously as the corner of his mouth lifted slightly.

My core warmed as my heart swam. The urge to touch Kai, to feel his warmth, overwhelmed me in a way I didn't expect. As if he was a magnet and I metal being drawn into his orbit, I leaned closer to him.  

Maybe it was my imagination, but electricity crackled between us. Wanting so badly to be the woman who was brave enough to take what she wanted, I nervously reached a hand forward and rested it on his thigh above his knee. His eyes flitted to where my hand rested against him, a breath escaping his lips as I touched him. His breathing picked up, sending a little wave of pleasure through me though I could affect him like this. 

Leaning in closer, wanting to feel the thick muscle of his upper thigh, I gently slid my hand higher as Kai leaned into my touch. I watched his throat work as his eyes dilated, arousal clear on his face. I wasn't trying to be sexy. Really, I wasn't. I just needed to feel him. I need to feel his warmth and taut muscles.  

As my hand slid up higher, he suddenly froze. His breathing stopped as his hand slammed down on mine to stop me. He looked at me then, his eyes brutal, cold, and angry. Frozen in shock at his reaction, I just sat there.  

"It's true, you know. You don't need to play a fucking game. It's true." He growled as he threw my hand off of him. "What are you talking about? What's true?" My voice wavered, confused by the turn of events.  "Don't play dumb, Vera. I should have known there's no way a girl like you would be nice to a guy like me. You just wanted to know if the rumors are true, right?"  

He stared at me with hard eyes and a scowl that made me flinch away. "We'll they're true. Game over, you can leave me the fuck alone now," he bit out. 

Watching as he turned to throw his notebook in his bag, waves of emotion slammed through me, brutal and hot. Anger and shame embarrassed I'd let my guard down with him. Why did I do that? He'd shown me no reason to trust him.

"Fuck you, Kai. Fuck you." My voice came out raw as tears pricked my eyes. I wanted to tell him he was an asshole, that he wasn't worth my time, what a piece of shit he was, but my emotions had stolen my voice. All I could do was shake in rage and fight tears.