Smartass to Sub Pt. 03

I wasn't far off, and to his credit, even though he seemed exhausted, he kept jerking my dick, even getting down and sucking my balls.

"Fuck yes Ryan." I muttered.

"Say my name." He whispered back.

"Oh Ryan, I fucking love this, you're so... oh Ryan..."

"You ready to cum bitch?"

"Yes please."

"Very well. You have my permission to cream yourself."

I moaned as I came over his hand. He cleaned me up with his tongue, something I noted he'd learnt from me, and as much as I felt my legs itching to get away I breathed in deeply and stopped myself from bolting. I returned the favour, gently unwrapping the condom and sucking his dick clean of his load. I finished and glanced up at him.

"I'll be right back ok?" He nodded, still exhausted.

I breathed deeply on the toilet. He'd definitely hit the spot. I could do that again, no fucking problem. I was a little worried about the I love you shit though. Although I'm sure I had said crazier things when cumming before, so I shouldn't pack my bags and move countries just yet. I padded back to Ryan and crawled beside him awkwardly. He wrapped himself around me and sighed.

"You don't have to stick around Sam, I know you're not really about the post coital stuff." Way to make me feel like a jerk. I sighed.

"I'm coming round to it." I said. "Actually, I thought maybe one day we could have a sleepover. I could serve you pancakes in bed."

"More of an eggs and bacon kind of guy." He muttered.

"Fine, more pancakes for me." I smiled at him, and he started to stroke my hair which was quickly becoming my most favourite non sexual touch in the world. "Seriously Ryan, you want to come over this weekend?"

"Really? To yours? For the night?" He sounded hesitant.

"Well, if you're not keen..." I lay back down beside him with a shrug.

"Ah shut the fuck up Sammy, you know I'm keen. That's not one of your dumb personal boundaries?" I lay silent for a minute.

"Sammy?"

"It... it is one of my dumb personal boundaries." I said slowly. "So you know, that is what it is." He kissed my head. "Let me know, offers staying on the table." I said quietly. Ryan squeezed me.

"Of fucking course I'll be there. Let me know the time, what to bring, whatever ok Sammy?" I sighed and turned over, draping his arm around me and resting it on my dick and balls. He held them possessively.

"Dinner?" I suggested. "I'm starving. I had to eat clean all week." He laughed.

"Pizza? Will that fuck up round two?" I sighed.

"Almost definitely." He sighed.

"Well maybe round two can just be blow jobs then." I smiled and pressed myself into him.

"Yeah. That might be all I can take Ry." He stroked my back and pulled me up. We walked to the living room and he lay down on the couch, pulling me to lie on him.

"You ok? That wasn't too much?"

"You didn't break my arsehole if that's what you mean." I shifted as I felt the tenderness. "Much."

"Maybe this weekend then." He grinned wickedly.

"Oh no." I narrowed my eyes at him. "Saturday's mine." He squeezed me and pressed his mouth to my ear.

"Yes, sir."

——-

I grinned as he walked past my desk the next day and casually dropped a coffee off.

"Lunch?" He suggested. "You've skipped it all week." He glanced at Caro. "You should really make sure he takes lunch." She rolled her eyes.

"I'm not his mother." She looked firmly at the screen in front of herself and I could see her lips twitch. "Or his daddy." She said quietly. I closed my eyes and let my head fall to my desk.

"Caro." I said firmly, shifting to look at her. "People. Might. Talk." She tapped away, still staring at her screen.

"People. Are already talking." She said. She turned away from her computer and looked between me and Ryan. "People are saying you two got out of a lift the other day with your shirts untucked. People are saying they saw you having a pint last Wednesday. People are saying you wrote Sammy on your calendar with a little heart beside it, Ryan, which you have to admit looks like something slightly more than a training session..."

"Ryan!" He blushed as I stared at him. "You didn't?!"

"Uhhh..."

"Ryan!"

"Who's going through my calendar?!" He snapped at Caro. She shrugged.

"It's a small office and there isn't a lot of gossip." She said. She looked at my face and her expression softened. "It's just talk Sammy. People talk." I grunted.

——

We were way. Too. Obvious. So I tried to keep my distance. Ryan did not. And yeah. People were talking. Well, more to the point they were shutting up every time I entered a room, which was even worse.

"Hey Sam, how do you know if a man's gay or not?" Doug asked me on Friday before a meeting. I sighed. Some people were more obvious than others.

"Ask him if he wants to suck your dick." I said. I glanced at Doug. "Although that night not work for you because I'm gay as they get and that's still a hard no." Doug nudged me in the ribs.

"So is your gaydar infallible?"

"Yep."

"So I'm straight?"

"Yeah but you secretly want me. That's ok." He laughed.

"Gerald?"

"Straight but wears panties on the weekend."

"Ryan?" I rolled my eyes.

"Well the guy works out with me almost everyday and has somehow resisted me so I'll go with straight there too." Doug raised his eyebrows.

"Really?" He leant in. "Rumour going around he's gay."

"You been listening to Rebecca's twisted fantasies again?" I teased. "Ask her about the one of me and Erin."

"What?"

"It's hot stuff Dougie. Erin turns me straight and whips me for hours." Doug rolled his eyes and sat back. Good. He wasn't getting anything from me.

I still tensed up when Ryan entered the room and sat next to us.

"Hey Ryan." Doug said. "Wanna suck my dick?" Ryan laughed.

"Sure mate. $20." Doug grinned and sat back.

"What do you charge Sam?" I laughed but Ryan, the king of not playing it cool, blushed. "Oh-ho-ho." He said. "Looks like the cats got your tongue." He turned to me."So Rebecca might have a point." I rolled my eyes and looked at Ryan, who was totally tongue tied.

"He's just embarrassed because he does me for free." I said, trying my best to cover for him. It didn't work. Ryan went even redder. Doug stared at him. "Wait..." he said. I suddenly found myself digging my nails into his thigh.

"Doug shut the fuck up right now or I swear I'll tell Erin about the papers you left on that train." Doug eyes went wide and he looked between us.

"I don't believe it." He said.

"Go with that." I advised. "Tell anyone and I'll cut your balls off."

"Oh my god." He said. He grinned widely. "Oh my fucking god." He said that way too loudly and everyone turned to look.

"Doug." I said firmly. And he must have realised it was a very real threat because he relaxed into his chair.

"Sorry." He said vaguely to the room. "Sam invested in GME."

Ryan glanced at me. I didn't meet his eyes. That stupid big jock.

——

He caught me after the meeting.

"Wait, Wait. Sammy. I'm so sorry." I whirled on him.

"Can you just try lying? Jesus. Is it so hard to just say "I'm not sleeping with Sam?""

"Apparently?" I sighed.

"Ry..."

"Sam, I can't help how I feel." I groaned.

"I'm not asking for you to not feel anything."

"Good. Not everyone is built like you with no feelings." I frowned.

"I have feelings!" I glanced at him. "Too many actually. New ones that I'm not sure I like. But I can keep it professional." Ryan ignored that last bit and beamed at me.

"You... have feelings for me?"

"Awful ones." I admitted. "Awful gut churning warm ones." His eyes softened as he looked at me.

"Damn puppy. Thought you were a cold hearted slut." He whispered. He touched my arm and I curled my fingers over his.

"I am." I said. "Usually."

——

Ughhhh.

Can't believe I told him.

This was such a pain in my ass.

In more ways than one.

I was chatting to Rebecca over lunch when my phone rang and I lit up as I saw the caller.

"Hamish!" I grinned as I picked up and turned away. "Don't tell me you're still in Wellington."

"Who's Hamish?" Rebecca whispered loudly. I shushed her as he told me yes, he was in town, and was I free? All thoughts of Ryan briefly disappeared.

"Dinner? Or straight to mine?" He laughed.

"Buy me dinner Sam, you're on salary and I'm just a starving student..." I rolled my eyes. "I'll make it so worth your while." He promised.

"Hmmm." I teased. "We'll see." We agreed on Monday and I hung up the phone with a grin.

"Who's Hamish?!" Rebecca probed.

"A guy." I said firmly. She bit her lip.

"Huh." She said. Her eyes twinkled as she looked behind me and I blushed as Ryan walked in. "Sammy has a date with a guy on Monday." She said. Fuck.

Rebecca should be fired from HR. I looked at Ryan. He frowned.

"Monday?" He said questioningly.

"With Hamish." Rebecca said. I glanced at her. Her eyes were flicking between us. She knew. She knew everything.

"Oh." Ryan said. "Good for you Sammy." His voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Thanks." I said stiffly.

He walked out, leaving his lunch on the bench. I glared at Rebecca.

"Weird." She said. "He didn't sound super stoked about that."

"He forgot his lunch." I muttered, and practically ran down the corridor to catch up with him.

"I'll cancel." I said. "I wasn't thinking." Ryan blinked at me. His eyes were a little wet. Oh no. I'm such a cunt.

"Na, Na." He said, smiling. "Not on my account."

"I..."

"I just thought you deleted all those apps."

"I did. Hamish is in Dunedin. He called me." Ryan took his lunch from me and held my hands.

"I'm a big boy Sam." He whispered. "I don't have a claim on you." I sighed as he walked away.

He did.

As much as I did on him.

I called Hamish back and cancelled as politely as I could.

"I shouldn't have said yes." I admitted. "I'm kind of seeing someone."

"Tuesday then?"

"No... no I mean I'm seeing someone. One guy. Ryan. We... it's..."

"Oh!" Hamish sighed. "Dammit. Know any other good doms?"

"As good as me?" He laughed.

"Sam, I never thought I'd see the day..."

"Me either. Anyway. I've all but totally fucked up with him so don't lose my number just yet."

"Good luck. I'll miss you."

"You too."

I sighed. Goodbye single life. If I could win him back.

——

Silent treatment.

So that's what it was like.

I tried calling all weekend and I just got a text saying

Busy x

And I missed him. I might have gotten all warm and fuzzy about the idea of waking up on his arms. I wanted that.

Monday swung around and I shuffled to work, miserable. Looked like we had a new routine: coffee on my desk, no note. No texts begging for pictures. No horny phone calls. No painful gym sessions.

It sucked.

"What happened?" Caro asked as I sighed as I sat down and picked up my coffee. Still piping hot. He knew my schedule.

"Nothing." I mumbled.

"That adds up." Caro rolled her eyes. "Tell you what. You're in the doghouse. I know because I've put enough guys there myself. And a simple apology goes a long way. I glanced at her.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Really."

—-

I sat on Ryan's desk nervously. A couple of people glanced at me. I never hung out in his corner of the office. I ignored them and waited for him. I knew he'd be on time. He always was now.

I looked up at the elevator as it dinged. His eyes lit up as he saw me- and he immediately rearranged his face to look nonchalant. I held out the coffee.

"Oat milk flat white, two sugars." He glanced at me as he unpacked his laptop.

"You know my coffee order." He said. I shrugged.

"Just a guess." I bit my lip. "I canceled." I said. "And I'm sorry." He looked at me and across the office. People were looking furtively at us and quickly back to their monitors.

"You don't need to apologise." He said.

"You don't need to accept it. But I am sorry." I fiddled with a little star wars toy he had. I lowered my voice. "I want this." I said. He looked at me and smiled.

"Me too."'I stood up.

"So you'll have that financial report to Erin by midday?" Ryan raised his eyebrow.

"Maybe. We'll see." He grinned. "If I do... would you take lunch with me?" I smiled at him.

"Maybe. We'll see."

—-

Ryan showed up at my desk at 11.45. He looked at me and pressed a button on his phone. My inbox dinged.

"With time to spare." He grinned. I stood up.

"Caro, I'm taking lunch." She smiled at us.

"See ya."

We walked to the Vietnamese place a couple of doors up and Ryan was fidgeting and not paying attention to anything. He ordered gruffly, his head on something else, waving the waiter away which I had to apologise for.

"Did you get a workout in this morning?" I sighed. "You're behaving like a jerk." Ryan clenched his jaw.

"Tired. Sorry."

"Yuh-huh." I frowned at him. "Just when I was starting to think you were more than the asshole I have to work wi..." Ryan slammed his hand on the table and I flinched.

"Sorry." He grunted. He swallowed. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm mad at you." He said. He grunted as the waiter set down our beer and I sighed.

He bit his lip.

"Why am I not enough for you?" He said quietly.

Oh, Ryan.

My chest felt tense as I looked at him and I opened my mouth, waiting for the right words.

"You are." I said. "I'm ok with just us. I'd like that." Ryan raised his head and beamed across the table at me.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." I sighed. "Once a week is nowhere near enough though."

"Really?" He beamed. "Sammy..." He took my hands across the table. "You don't know how much I want that."

"I do." I fiddled with my wallet and Ryan stopped me.

"My shout."

"I don't do that Ry. Don't do the whole boyfriend buys me lunch thing." Ryan stared at me. I swallowed. "Take it or leave it." He grinned and folded his arms.

"Boyfriend?" I blushed. I didn't mean that. I really didn't mean that.

"Uh..." He laughed.

"Don't worry Sammy. You're not a label guy." I rolled my eyes.

"You made that up." He bit his lip as he looked at me.

"We...kind of... could be." He started to peel the label off his beer. "Would... you..."

"Well its definitely gonna sound more threatening than telling guys who hit on me my co-worker slash fuck buddy will beat them up." Ryan smiled as he looked at his beer and tried to sound casual.

"Ok. So that's, cool, I guess we can go with... boyfriends. Anyway it's definitely my shout."

"I..."

"And you can show me what all those guys are missing tonight." I blushed. Get a grip Sam.

"I..." I shut up and jerked my hands away as Erin, our boss walked in. Ryan glanced up and straightened up. We looked at each other.

"Just two dudes." He said grimly. I nodded.

"Oh hi!" She grinned and walked over to us. "This is Mike, my husband. Mike this is Sam and Ryan, from the office." Mike nodded at us and reached out to shake our hands.

"Heard good things." He was talking to me. I beamed. Sometimes I blend into the background at work. I'm too busy catching everyone's slack to really make waves. Erin smiled at him conspiratorially and they were just making their polite goodbyes when another man walked in. "My cousin Tony" She introduced us. "Down from Auckland." Tony looked us over. Dammit. Why can gay men always pick out gay men? "Sam from my team." Tony raised his eyebrow and nodded. "Sam's doing your old job." She said. "Tony's in environmental policy too." She explained. We politely nodded at each other.

"And how did you too meet?" He asked. Ryan and I glanced at each other but Erin interrupted whatever we were thinking of saying.

"Oh sorry- that's Ryan, Ryan's on the team as well." Tony opened his mouth and then he saw the way we were sitting- too far apart. He frowned and nodded.

"Oh." He said. I could read his mind as he glanced at Erin. 'Those two are fucking.' He was saying to her telepathically.

They made their escape and Ryan sighed and relaxed.

"Well now Erin knows." I muttered.

"What? She doesn't know anything." I glanced at them and I saw Tony nodding enthusiastically with his head in our direction. Erin glanced at us and blushed.

"Bloody Tony." I mumbled. "Totally outed us." Ryan sighed as he looked over the restaurant at them.

"Sammy... I don't think I mind being outed."

I looked at him.

I mean. At this stage.

I reached for his hand. I smiled at his expression. He was beaming. The sun probably really was shining from his ass as I clasped his hand, entwining out fingers, leaning in and brushing his calf with my foot.

"Sam." He whispered.

"Ryan."

"You really don't mind?"

"That the whole office knows I can sweet talk a blonde powerlifter who everyone has a crush on into being mine?" I shrugged. "I'll get over it." He grinned.

"I..." He blushed and looked away. "You're perfect." He said. Arsehole. Seductive motherfucker.

"I love you." I muttered. And then I froze. I could have stabbed myself right there. I almost slapped myself across the face. I almost stood up and left. Who the hell had taken possession of my unflinchingly cold emotions and told this hot piece of arse unprompted that I loved him? Satan, take me now. I dropped my head in my hands with a groan.

Ryan grabbed my hand.

"Woah. Say that again. Slowly." I looked up at him, shaking my head. My body betrayed me again though.

"I love you." I said slowly, my eyes magnetised to his. His eyes sparkled. I think maybe I'd just made him the happiest man in the world. He was beaming, his smile almost wider than his face.

"Sammy." He said, almost reverently, as though he might break the spell. I rolled my eyes. "I-" I held my hand up to shut him up.

"I know. You love me too. We're in love. It's a whole thing." He laughed and refused to let go of my hand, but we both knew I kind of liked that.

"There is gonna be so much money exchanging hands when we get back to the office." He grinned.

"Oh yeah." I winced.

"Everyone's gonna ask who's on top."

"No ones gonna ask who's on top. They'll assume it's you." He smiled.

"Little do they know."

——

We walked into the office hand in hand and my heart was beating a mile a minute.

"I'm really nervous." Ryan whispered. I glanced at him.

"Mmmm." I said reassuringly. He rolled his eyes as we got out of the elevator. A couple of people could see us from their desks.

"Tonight?" He asked.

"Only if you're coming over, I have food to use up." Ryan leant down and kissed my temple gently.

"Is that an invitation or your passive aggressive way of saying not tonight?" I sighed and couldn't help but smile at him.

"The former." I squeezed his hand and we went our separate ways. I stared dead ahead, knowing without a doubt I was bright red.

I had an email waiting from Erin when I got back. Great. More meetings. I grunted at Caro and headed off.

--

When I returned Caro had a pile of money sitting next to her.

"Can you save the drug deals till after work?" I joked. She pulled a twenty off the top and handed it to me. "There's your cut." She said. "For your silence that I had inside knowledge."

"Oh God." I said, putting two and two together. "Were we really so fucking obvious the whole office had bets?" Caro smiled at me.

"Well, I cleaned up if that's any consolation. $150 worth of people thought nothing was going on." I smiled at her. That actually was a consolation.

--

Ryan liked my place. He liked the plants. He liked the dark walls and the paintings and the rugs and that, unlike him, for the most part I kept my place clean.

"So exotic." I rolled my eyes.

"Just say oriental." He poked me in the rib.

"Jerk."

"Takes one to know one." He grinned and kissed me.

"What's for dinner? Can I help?" I looked dubiously at him.