All Comments on 'Snatching Carla'

That clashing time frame and inconsistent naming tho

This was unreadable. I had no idea who anyone was since the names changed every other line. Please...please get an editor or proofreader.

Did you or anyone else proof read the submission before it was posted? My guess is No! Because a blind man on a galloping horse would have noticed that every character in this story had there name changed at some point.

Oops. Sorry to have messed up relying on global changing of names in the text and didn't bother to re-read to check the results. Or was it sheer incompetence and faulty memory when writing? I'm pleased my characters continued on without griping. Long ago a fellow Will Shakespeare tossed in a thought when writing (see Act-II, Scene-II of Shakespeare’s play, Romeo and Juliet: What's in a name?). That was a red herring, of course. Those readers with agile brains and persistence (if any) would have continued on regardless and will wonder what KinPA was on about alleging the story 'was unreadable. I had no idea who anyone was since the names changed every other line. Oh really?

They’re all too picky.I enjoyed every word. Even editors are human, and while I noticed the name issue, I wasn’t bothered by it. Thanks for sharing your creativity and give us more. Excellent place to end.

Tc

Agreed, it's just about unreadable. Author is in dire need of help.

We need a second part and you need an editor :)

Nice story. I confused Ned and Nash but I could follow just fine.

Keep writing

Would love to see Carla and Rhett succeed not only in their escape, but also in their growing love. Rhett is truly a heroic man, and I imagine him stripped of his clothes to reveal a healthy, manly frame, with a bit of dark hair spread across his chest and abs along with his "horse cock" as she calls it. Keep up the great story!