All Comments on 'Sneaking In'

Not too shabby, you just need to be careful about flipping from Marcus to I, a bit uneven when that happens.

Third person to 1st person. It was almost too much, but I made it through. Nice story idea, but it would have been more enjoyable with better grammar. Perhaps an editor would help.

Couldn't finish - the author couldn't keep straight whether this was a first or third perspective tale multiple times in the first two paragraphs.

Good story and it would be interesting to see a follow up chapter but the story kept changing from first person, like he was telling the story, to third person, like someone else was telling the story. It became distracting at times. Stick with one point of view. Either the character in the story or the narrator.

Proofread, proofread, proofread. I liked the story, but you lost me when you couldn't decide between 'my' and 'his right at the beginning. Please find someone to help you.

Repulsive slut.

This story would have been a lot better if you had just taken some time to read through it and fix obvious mistakes. Just running a search for every instance of "I," "me," "my," and "mine" would have helped a lot.

Need to stick with one point of view instead of switching between them multiple times.

Thoroughly enjoyed the concept, and although you seemed to iron out the POV after the third paragraph, my first thought was 2 brothers, one of which was trying to stuff the other one’s cock back into his boxers, and I almost quit reading. Glad I kept going, because it was a good read.

Sorry, after the third shift between 1. person "me"/"my" and 3. person "Marcus"/"he" I got too dizzy and gave up.

five stars, good story, get an editor or someone you trust to proofread your stories before you publish them. Don't stop writing, just get better at it.

4* Could have been a 5 if it were not for all the flipping between points of view. Really need at least a proofreader.