All Comments on 'Snowbound in Aspen'

Snow sex is fun

A very hot story set in a very cold local. Is there more to come?

Ooof. This had promise. But constantly moving in and out of first person, it just pulled me too much out of the experience. Half way through I just couldn't stay interested, in spite of initially liking the characters. Sorry.

This could have been a good little story but for all the technical mistakes. You started out with Jessica narrating in the first person and then for no reason switched to the third person. You continued doing this on-and-off throughout the story, often in the same paragraph, a couple of times in the same sentence. At the same time, you switched from present tense to past tense, again throughout the story. These inconsistencies spoil the story's flow and put the reader off. There are also a number of spelling mistakes (or typos). One that stood out was asking Ashley "...to grab the bowels..." I think you meant bowls. Grabbing the bowels would be very uncomfortable. It's a pity that a potentially enjoyable tale had so much wrong with it. I recommend that you find a good editor to help you overcome these problems.

I don't usually get into same sex stories but with your writing skills and ability to tell a great story, I got sucked into this one. As usual, you capture the romanticism of people falling in love, or lust, with such great flare. Thanks again for writing it's very much appreciated 😊👍

I loved it so please continue and develop this into a love story!

Damn good story.. I wish there will come a follow up,

There is all potential to it..

Belinda

A very good story, but it could've done with some editing. Too many sentences flipped back and forth between first and third person like "Jessica could feel Ashley's quarter-sized nipples harden in my palm." I didn't mind that chapter 1 was in first person, but later chapters were in third person, but it needs to be consistent within a sentence.

I thought the story was fantastic I’d love to see this turn into a multipart series

Not a bad story. I liked it, except it seemed to just cut off like there would be a next chapter, but there wasn't that I could find.

And parts of it were "so different in style" that it felt like two people tag-team wrote it.

And then didn't edit it. Some fairly gross style errors. Tense, person, switches between each, sometimes in a single sentence.

You cut the story off which is a big mistake you should never cut the story off without a ending like that and you also need a editor or a better editor I have to give it a 3 star rating cause the way you cut it off

For deity's sake, pick a perspective and a tense and stick to it! The story wouldn't be bad if my teeth didn't ache from your jumping between first to second person for the same character and from present to past tense for the same action.

locals is a resident of the area. LOCALES is a location. Just an FYI

Bowel is an intestine - I think the word you are looking for is BOWL which is a type of deep type basin, used for foods or liquids

Great story. However I rated it 4 out of 5 instead of 5 out of 5 because of your shifting back and forth between Jessica/she/her and I/me. Sticking with either first person or third person would have been less distracting, and would have earned an enthusiastic 5!