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I sat next to her on the old, dirty futon we had brought with us from our apartment at State.
"Okay, go ahead. I'm listening."
"Tony, I'm afraid I've made a terrible mistake with you. I was unhappy before, but I think now that I blamed it all on you, and that wasn't fair to you at all. I wish I had given us more of a chance. I think we could have worked through things and come out stronger. Do you think there's any way we can go back and try to make it right again, maybe try counseling again? Can we save our marriage after all?"
My mind quickly flashed back to our early days together, all the joy and excitement. That first Sunday together, wandering through the greening campus, our hunger for each other sated for the moment. Our shared life of study and passionate lovemaking as a new couple. That first Saturday in the park here, embarking with hope on a new life. If I said "yes", could it bring all that back? Or even a faded photograph of it with our older and wiser selves somehow superimposed?
God, or the Universe, or Nothing, was not going to make things easy for me. She was sincere; her voice was strained and her eyes were wet. But, damn it all, I had to speak my truth to her straight.
"Dianna, I'm sorry, but you can't seriously expect me to go back now, after all the hell you've put me through. It's been a year and a half of my heart breaking every day, wondering if it was really something I did, if there was something I could have done differently, or if I was just a damaged person and not worthy of anyone's love. Sometimes I could barely do my work. I was just going through the motions behind this dull haze of pain. When you finally left, it hurt bad, but it was a relief too. Like we could at least put it behind us and get on with our lives."
Her tears were flowing now.
"I know," she said, "and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Tony. I thought this was worth a try, though."
"I appreciate that you cared enough to try. But it's really too late now. I can't go back, I have to go forward. Di, in some way I'm just starting to figure out, I'll always love you. Maybe someday, after all the wounds are healed, we can sit together like this and laugh about the good times and celebrate what we had. I would like that, but it's going to take some time first."
"That's fair. I would like that too. And I'll always love you, too, even if we can't have it like it was anymore. So, do we go ahead and file the papers and let the healing begin?"
"I think that's the best thing, yes. And I'm sorry too."
"Okay. Well, I'll say good night and let you finish unpacking and get your rest."
We went to the door, hugged each other for an aching moment, said "good night" and she was gone.
I poured myself a drink, put a CD into the player, turned the volume up, and sat down again. The brooding opening strains of Dvorak's Symphony No. 9, "From The New World", filled the tiny apartment. A turbulent crescendo was coming, followed by some more hopeful melodies. Then, the Largo movement would offer up a place of serenity. Tomorrow was a work day, with papers to be reviewed, a seminar to attend, and a dissertation to compose, but I was already unpacked and it was early yet. The world would wait, where nothing seemed permanent, all was in flux, and where that was the price paid for the possibility of surprise.
- COMMENTS
Anonymous3 months agoNeeds work, with the brothers disappearing, and being more clear about timelines re: Dianna/ breakup/ the Spring Break/ 1 1/2 years?
Page 2 had sections that seemed like they were outlines, not sentences or paragraphs.
Lastly, how our hero ended up in the narrative, without wife or sister, and seemingly depressed, is A resolution, and one that happens in real life, but it is not a SATISFYING resolution. Knowing that he loves his sister forever and treasures SOME memories with his wife is good, to be sure. His now greater wisdom and experience in life and love have not really helped him though, which does not show growth as it might. On a related note, he did not start out listening to that specific CD in this narrative, so, he had no illustrated real growth or maturation, nor did he end up in the same place he started, which might have been symbolized by a recurring CD session, NOR did we have CDs developed as a coping mechanism. Listening to the Short Wave Radio at the end would have tied this story together well.
The ending is, as I wrote, though, sometimes/ somewhat realistic.
The eroticism and emotion were quite good, though, and earn you a good rating. There is heartbreak for all three mains as the result of this story, and this happens in life as well as fiction.
It would be fine by me if you wrote some more and relieved some of this heartbreak for some or all of our three....
Rancher46over 2 years agoI agree with Anonymous the story indicated that Di and Tony just broke up and he was home to tell his parents. Timeline was off and according to the storyline Di left him and he went home, and she reappeared when he returned thus there was no year and a half since they broke up. He apparently didn't love her very much evidenced by not wanting to get back with her for a second chance. Then again maybe it was getting a taste of the young pussy of his little sister, and he wanted to explore that relationship.
fisheroneover 5 years agoWhat would he have lost try give one last shot being that she was fully onboard at thos point. He is always going to wonder if from now on.
Anonymousover 5 years agoOnly thing is it would have been better half the length.
Anonymousover 5 years agoImpressive - the technical skill, the characterizations, the style, and very few errors. Not something we see often on this site. Well done.
