All Comments on 'Some Harmless Competition'

Well, at least Adam can dump her ass off at the curb, without any entanglement.

This basic story has been done and redone to death, with nothing but the most trivial of changes.

Loved the story!

Author here- I have noticed the inconsistencies with the score, as well as a few other small issues, but considering how long it took to publish this (over a week between submission and it being live) I think I'll just leave it as is instead of resubmitting my edited version. Hope you enjoy, though!

Normal day at LW all cucky

Just about to put on Barwick Green in the background. The only thing separating this from The Archers and its "Everyday Tale Of Country Folk" was that it seems like somebody got tail every day, and it was more about a cunted fuck!

What a fucked up story, why put this sad tale in this cat-when there are no loving wives involved. I did

a lot of skimming thru the paragraphs-only interested in Adam(he seemed to be the only human-like

character you wrote-why did everyone treat him like shit-did he deserve this treatment? He was the only

sympathetic char. out of the bunch of idiots you had in the story. Really- you went for the tired cliche of a

big muscled black man with an enormous cock-you missed on naming him Jamal or Bubba. Looking forward

to hopefully reading and not skimming your next story-go for originality and no old cliches. Appreciate your

efforts.

Dare

At the risk of making too many comments on my own story, I'd just like to address a few of the more tedious comments I've been getting a lot of. To that end, allow me to point out some incredibly obvious things that many people don't seem to be understanding.

1: this is fiction- it is not trying to be real or realistic. It is fantasy. If you're coming here to comment that it's unrealistic- no shit, that's the point. On a similar note, the insinuations of racism simply because my story features a well-endowed black man are just gibberish. Once again- it's fantasy, not a commentary on reality. Incidentally, though, Marco is loosely based on a specific porn star, not just tropes about black men- the fact that this actor embodies a few of those cliches is largely incidental.

2: "Loving" Wives is a euphemism. This one really seems to go over a lot of peoples' heads. Loving Wives as a category is not meant to be taken literally, at least, not exclusively. It's a euphemism- it means cheating, or some variation thereof, whether that be hotwifing, cuckolding, "it's not cheating if...", etc. Even if it weren't, cheating is right there in the tags- if it's not your thing that's entirely fine, but if you're going to go to a story and complain about the genre not being one you like- you're just a clown. If you don't want to read about cheating, don't read this story, and if you haven't read the story, your comment is meaningless. I'm deleting any comments that are just people trying to insult me or others who enjoy this kind of content- give me low ratings all you like, I just really don't have any interest in your opinion if you're purely trying to be a whiny asshole and not offer anything constructive.

3: I'm aware that the genre I'm writing in has tropes, and that I've engaged with some of them. This is my first foray into erotica, and I wasn't trying to fly too close to the sun. I appreciate feedback, but if your comment amounts to "this is not original", that isn't exactly helpful.

Not trying to be authoritarian with my comments section, just being transparent about my frustration with meaningless comments, and my intention to delete them.

I hope the comments, including my earlier comment do not prevent the author from giving it a second shot. Let me try to explain, why this story was difficult for me in the hope that the next one will be easier.

When I read a story certain aspects help me along. First is the central theme - can I grab it and does it follow through. Here the the central theme is playing a game and getting more and losing inhibitions more and more in order to win. That was what I expected. But what I got was a long recount of irrelevant game rounds interspersed with some action in the bedroom. This was hot, but it was not aligned with the theme, because it did not really contribute to heating um the competition.

Second important aspect for me: Ability to identify with one of the characters? Can I identify with Marco? No he just makes me feel inferior. Do I want to identify with Adam? No, not with this end. If I were a woman, would I want to identify with one of the girls? Not really either.

Thirdly: Rhythem. Rhythm is what keeps people from fast forwarding to the end. Yor story starts of with a nice rhythm, but during the dinner it gets lost. The idea about including the adult cards or not is confusing. Why not let them have a discussion of whether to include them. Or let them decide after being done with the tame cards to tackle the adult cards. But then keep the tame cards short. Either the discussion or the tame cards give you as the author an opportunity to reveal something about the characters. Who is in favour who against it? Why? Does this position remain the same during the game or does the reluctant character take off later?

Fourth: Clichees. Why do all persons look like porn stars? So clichees turn me off.

Fifth: The open end. Open ended stories are ok. But they are difficult. An open end causes the reader to continue thinking how it could continue. But the twist at the end only leaves me with the conclusion, that the friendship of these 2 couples is destroyed forever. sad. And it happens completly at random. Why is Adam exluded? This twist comes out of nowhere. Another random piece of irrelevant information is the boss getting drunk and the wife being fucked and an employee seeing it. So three people whose position to their boss is changed drastically. But that is just mentioned and does not add to the story at all.

Outlandish debauchery and well crafted. Give me a minute — got to rehydrate, indeed; Maya certainly was fulfilled. Do hope you continue to share your imagination/fantasies (and your responses when readers post inane BS). Your posted response was so spot on — could not have said it better. Welcome to LW — some/many simply don’t get it.

Raunchy hot.