Somebody That I Used to Know Ch. 05

"Sorry, sorry, it's just. We've met before Katie, back when you were a little baby. I knew your parents."

The look on Katie's face showed she found the whole thing hilariously disappointing. "Well fuck, I meet a guy interesting enough to fuck and it turns out he knows my parents, just my fucking luck. You say parents, as in both of them?"

"Yeah, I know your dad wasn't there for you but he..."

"I know why he wasn't there, mum told me he was a cheating scumbag, I just wanted to know if he was still alive, last I heard he knocked up one of his junkie sluts."

"He's alive, I saw him a few weeks ago, he's fell back onto the needle when he found out that baby wasn't his.

"Well who's was it then?"

"That doesn't matter. I gotta say I'm surprised to see you Katie, I wouldn't think you were old enough to be sleeping around."

Katie's smile disappeared into a face of thunder. "Oh fuck you you one-eyed shit. You sound just like my mother, well newsflash bitch, I'm 19, I can fuck who I want to fuck. Had to leave that fuckin house, get away from her and my goody-two-shoes little brother."

"Hey don't be like that, your mother worked hard trying to be a single parent..."

Katie snorted. "Single, Adam my mother had a new boyfriend every month, trying to find someone who wanted a twenty something spinster with two kids, not exactly the best deal. She got so desperate she picked some real scum, the kind of people that walk into a little girl's room late at night and decide they want a taste.

Adam could tell the conversation was going into dark territory, Katie had unresolved issues with her father abandoning her, for a split second Adam thought of Nicola and how her father had been taken from her.

Katie kept talking. "Do you know why he did it, you know why Liam left my mum, why he cheated on her and left us on our own?"

Adam finished his drink, trying to think of the best way to answer that question, because despite Liam never giving a proper reason as to why he cheated on Maggie, Adam had an idea.

"Katie, your father loved your mother, he really did, he wouldn't have had two kids with her if he didn't, but she wasn't The One, he thought she was but then he met someone else, someone better, someone he loved more than her, but he couldn't have this new girl, and so he stayed with Maggie, but she couldn't compare to his next love, so he went out, trying to find someone new, someone who gave her that same feeling this girl gave him, what Maggie used to give him, none of them worked so he kept looking until she had enough."

Katie seemed to think Adam's words over, she was in between believing and not believing and not sure which way to go. "Who was she, the girl he fell for?"

"Alexandra, my... my cousin."

"Oh shit, Alexandra's your cousin?"

"What, you know her?"

"I heard my mum talk about her, not in a nice way, she was that junkie slut he knocked up."

Adam had to laugh, Maggie used to be their friend but now she hated Liam and Lexi, not that he blamed her. "Yeah, that'll be Lexi, she's cleaned up though, gone straight."

"Yeah well so did my dad apparently, but you just told me he relapsed, you said he freaked when the baby wasn't his."

"Yeah, so?"

"Out of all the things mum called Alexandra, incest whore was one of them. And since you don't want to tell me who the baby's father actually is, I'm taking a wild shot in the dark and saying it's yours."

"You don't seem too surprised."

"Nah, as long as you didn't force fuck her I'm ok with you doing stupid things, besides if my stuck-up mother hates it then I'm all for it."

"You're smarter than I expected Katie, you shouldn't waste that."

"Whatever, I'm a walking cliché as it is, a slut with daddy abandonment issues, I'd tell you to say something when you see him but all I can think of is 'Fuck off.'

Adam chuckled once more as he felt Katie take his hand, they looked into each others eyes, smiling nervously at each other.

"Sure I can't tempt you back to mind Captain?"

"Ha, no thanks Katie, I'd feel weird sleeping with my friend's daughter."

Katie let out a defeated sigh. "Well worth a shot right? If you change your mind call me on this number, it's my mobile, I left home about a year ago."

Katie slid over a piece of paper to Adam, he took it after a moment's hesitation. "Why can't I phone your house, roommates?"

"No, no roommates, no house."

"I don't understand, where do you sleep...?"

"Adam, I said I didn't have a house, that doesn't mean I don't have a bed. I'll see you around."

As Katie walked over to another, more interested, customer Adam felt something inside him click, he didn't want his daughter to end up like Katie, a wasted life spent sleeping around, he pitied her and didn't want to same life for Nicola, paying for his drinks Adam got up and went outside, dialling his phone as he did.

Claire picked up on the second ring. "Mmm, hello?"

"Mum, it's Adam."

"Adam? It's nearly midnight, what are you calling at this time for?"

"Who is it?" Adam heard Jonathan's voice in the background, obviously sleeping over again.

"It's Adam."

"Tell him it's past his bedtime."

"Mum I'm sorry, I just want to know one thing. What's Lexi's address?"

*

As Alexandra got up to answer the knocking on the door she contemplated bringing a knife, partly for protection but mostly to kill whoever had a death wish at this hour. To say she was shocked to see Adam wouldn't cut it.

"Adam, what the hell are you doing here, do you know what time it is?"

"Lexi, do you know what today, yesterday, whatever, do you know what day that was?"

Lexi thought about it, trying to remember the date in her head. "What, you're here cause you're pissed I missed your birthday or something."

"No, god Lexi I haven't seen you in a year, missed birthdays are the last thing on my mind. No Lexi, I met someone today, Katie Gallagher."

"What, Liam's daughter?"

"Yeah, didn't recognise her until she told me her name, almost slept with her."

"Adam it's late, get to the point."

"I want to be a part of Nikki's life Lexi. I took her father away from her, I ruined any relationship she had with Liam, and seeing Katie today, wasting her life, sleeping around, I don't want that for our daughter, I want to be her dad."

Lexi sighed, it was a sad, tired sigh, like she knew a day like this would come eventually and had been dreading it. "Come in Adam, we need to talk."

Adam walked carefully inside, not knowing what Lexi wanted to talk about he didn't take any risk or sudden movements. Alexandra sat at the kitchen table, Adam followed suit.

"When you say you want to be a part of Nikki's life, does that mean you want to be with me, you could be her uncle but you want to be her dad."

"Yes, I want to be with you Lexi, I love you."

"No you don't."

Now it was Adam's turn to be shocked. "Um, Lexi, I know who I..."

"You don't love me Adam, you love the idea of me, you're still stuck in that time of our lives when we were children, I was this scared little girl and you were my friend, my protector, you saved me whenever you could, you have... had the scar on your eye to prove it."

"It's still there Lexi, just surrounded by more scars."

"My point is Adam you don't love me, you loved the idea of a woman you could protect, you could save, that's why things never worked out with Kanani, she saved you and no matter how much you tried to pretend you never could give her all your heart."

Adam sat back on the chair, letting Alexandra's words sink in. "How do you know I felt like that?"

"Because I felt the same way about you Adam, I did love you once, and a lot of ways I still do, because I saw you as my protector, my saviour. That's why it was so easy for me to hate you, whenever you hurt me it caused me so much more pain than anyone else because I trusted you, I loved you. We've been on this back & forth all our lives because neither of us have had the chance to just sit down and think about it, we've just been hating each other."

"How did you figure that one out?"

"I'm a mother now Adam, I look at my daughter and I see my mistakes and I don't want her to make the same ones I did. I look at us, how we got her in our lives, everything and it's the only thing that makes sense to me anymore."

Alexandra wiped a tear from her eye, obviously remembering the hard times the two of them had with each other.

I do love you Adam, but not in the way you want us to be, we can't be together, it just won't work, you can be a part of Nicola's life all you want but not as her father."

"But Lexi..."

"Use your head Adam, not your heart, that's what got us into this mess in the first place."

Adam gave a short, soft laugh, seeing the humour in his cousin's reasoning. "You've changed so much Lexi, not just with Nikki, but in everything, I still remember that hot teen girl at my front door 17 years ago, now look at you."

"People change Adam some just more than other, I had a lot to change about myself so it's more noticeable. But I know what you mean, there are sometimes when I have to look twice in the mirror because I can't believe that's me, the same when I look at you, I don't see you as you are now, I see you when you were that wee boy with the scrap book. "

Adam laughed, almost out loud, remembering the scrap book, he wondered if Kanani still had it. Lexi laughed as well but she stopped first, continuing her speech.

"But that's not you Adam, that's just somebody that I used to know."

Adam nodded, finally understanding her, their history was too great and too painful to revisit, he 'd jump into a life with her without thinking.

"I'm sorry for this Lexi."

"It's fine Adam, we needed to have this talk a while ago."

"Too bad it wasn't 17 years ago right?"

Lexi chuckled but there was no happiness in her voice. "You can stop by on the weekend if you want, I know Nikki would love to meet her Uncle Adam."

"Just Uncle Adam, not anyone a little closer?"

"No Adam, Nikki doesn't have a father, her dad was Liam and he's gone, it hurts but it's better this way."

"I know, just trying my luck, I'll see you sometime Lexi."

The two cousins hugged and Adam left quietly, neither of them noticing a small pair of girlish ears listening to their every word at the top of the stairs.

*

2008

*

Over the next few months Adam dug himself into his studying, he wanted to finish the course and get right into work, the blonde student he had an NSA relationship with was disappointed to lose her favourite partner but she understood.

One thing that Adam was thankful for was the renewed relationship he and Alexandra had, they had avoided each other after the incident but now they were back on speaking terms, although she still didn't allow Nicola to be alone with him.

The day that changed for her, Lexi remembered well, it was a Thursday in the beginning of July, Nikki was on holiday for the Summer and looking forward to 7 weeks of lying in and TV. It was suppose to be an easy time for her, but then the phone rang.

Nicola never heard who was on the other end of the line or what they were calling for but the look on her mother's face told her it was bad news.

"Ok, I'll be right there." Alexandra quickly hung up the phone and took a deep breath, as though preparing for something.

"What's wrong mum?" Nikki asked, the air of innocent concern ripe on her voice.

"Nothing honey, mummy's just got to go somewhere for a couple of hours, would you mind staying with grandma's for a while?" Alexandra had explained that while she called Claire 'Grandma' she was actually Nicola's aunt but it was easier to call her grandma. Plus she actually was her grandma but Nikki didn't know that.

After phoning Claire and getting the OK to drop Nicola off, Alexandra drove her daughter to Claire's house, giving a quick explanation to where she needed to go and why and left.

"Grandma, where's my mum going?"

"She's going to see someone, someone... just someone."

"Who?"

"That's a question you're mother will be better answering but don't be surprised if she doesn't."

"Why?"

"Because grown-ups don't always like to answer difficult questions."

"Oh. Do you have any ice-cream."

Claire smiled warmly at her niece/granddaughter, her ability to drop a subject and move onto something else in seconds was unparalleled and always impressed her, with the sun beaming down hotter than normal she had no problem with ice-cream in lieu of lunch.

"I do sweetie, would you like chocolate of vanilla?"

"Both."

"My my, you're a greedy little thing aren't you. You watch yourself or you'll get a little belly."

"No I won't grandma, you're silly."

Claire pushed over the bowl of vanilla and chocolate ice-cream over to Nicola. "You want some chocolate sauce?"

"Yes."

"Yes what."

"Yes please Grandma."

"That's better, it's behind you, in the cupboard."

A male voice behind them startled to two women. "I'll get that for you."

The two of them spun round to see Adam standing in the doorway, Nicola's face lit up at the sight of her favourite Uncle whilst Claire was more worried about the sudden arrival of her son.

"Uncle Adam." Nicola's sweet, young voice called out as she ran over and hugged Adam, her head just reaching above his waist.

"Hey there, how's my favourite niece?"

"I'm your only niece uncle Adam."

"You're still my favourite."

Claire watched the father and daughter have fun together, she knew Adam knew but Nicola didn't and she was the most important one out of them, it hurt Claire sometimes knowing her family could never be a proper family because of the secrets and mistakes her son and niece had made and kept over the years.

"I hope you don't mine me popping over mum." Adam took Claire out her train of thought. "The front door was open, I would've called but I saw you and Nikki were talking."

"We were getting some ice-cream, Grandma says I shouldn't be greedy or I'll get fat."

"Well she's right, you should eat so much ice-cream, why one time I ate so much ice-cream that it overfilled my tummy, with nowhere to go it started to come out my ears, my nose, even pushed out my eye."

Nicola giggled again, every time she saw Adam he always had a new reason for his missing eye, she knew how her lost it, he was hit in the face with a glass, but the circumstances surrounding why were long forgotten by her.

"Why did you come over Adam?" Claire said in a voice that purposefully didn't hide her suspicions.

"You said you needed someone to dig up the patio outside, I got an early day I figured I'd surprise you, I had no idea Nikki would be here, where's Lexi?"

"She's at the hospital, visiting someone."

"Who?"

Claire took a deep breath, it wasn't a tough question to answer but she still needed to prepare herself.

"Craig."

*

Alexandra quickly walked to the reception desk of the hospital, she had no idea why she was in such a hurry, maybe she just wanted to get in and out as quickly as possible. Why, why now, why after nearly 20 years of nothing from him does he suddenly want to see her now? Why did he have the doctors call her house looking for Craig Buchannan's daughter?

The bastard wasn't even her real father.

The receptionist was a young woman, obviously a replacement from the last time Lexi was there.

"Hello, I was called by Dr Porter, Craig Buchanan wanted to see me."

"Of course, can I just get your name please, and your relation to the patient."

"My name is Alexandra Buchanan, I'm his... I'm his daughter."

"Of course Miss Buchanan, I'll just call him."

Internally Alexandra kicked herself for calling Craig her father, she did it because it was easier than explaining everything but that didn't explain why she hadn't changed her last name, she didn't change it when her mother married Damien because she was at that age where she needed cards and licences and forms and it would just be a hassle, good plan too after her step-father dropped her. But then she had her real father, Ray Henderson, she had known him for nearly eight years now, he was an important part of her life, but she was still a Buchanan.

She'd even put her daughter's last name as Buchanan instead of Nelson from her 'father'.

Mercifully the doctor arrived quickly, he was a short man, only reaching Lexi's shoulders, the round belly, thick beard and glasses completed the stereotyped appearance.

"Miss Buchanan, my name is Dr Porter, I believe I spoke with you on the phone. Would you like to follow me?"

"Doctor, I'm not sure how I can help you, I haven't spoken to Craig in nearly 20 years, and the last time I was here he didn't recognize me, I'm pretty sure I made him piss himself."

"I'll be honest Miss Buchanan, I didn't even know you existed until I checked the records and found your name, and the reason I checked the records was because of why I called you. Your father..."

"Please don't call him that, he's not actually my dad."

"Um, ok. Well Craig has been with us for nearly 25 years now, I trust you remember how he came here. Was hit from behind by a metal pipe and brain damaged, it was pretty severe, and up until recently we believed permanent. By a few days ago Craig woke up screaming, calling for someone called Alexandra, nobody knew who she was so we passed it off as a friend or old flame, then the next two nights he does the same thing, calling for Alexandra, we decide to check his records and there you are, listed as his daughter."

"Doc I don't know how I can help you."

"Start by going in there, seeing what he wants, it's you he asked for."

"I know but... what if he doesn't recognize me, it's been a long time."

"Just try, please."

Alexandra could see the look in the old doctor's eyes. Pity, he pitied Craig, despite his predatory nature during her childhood Craig was pitied by this doctor. Whether her visit would be good or bad for Craig didn't matter, all that mattered was that for once, in the entire time Craig had been in this hospital, he wanted something, someone, and it was her.

If she didn't hate his guts she'd be crying.

Dr Porter opened the door to Craig's room and left Lexi to go inside, once in the room Lexi saw why the doctor pitied Craig, the man wasn't even a man, he was a corpse, a body left to wither and die slowly. Lexi thought back to when she last saw Craig, all those years ago, he was thin, weak and pathetic then, now, he didn't even look like the same man, he barely looked human. His body was so thin he was practically anorexic, his bones, frail and pointed as they were, could be seen pressed against his skin, his hair was thinning, almost white where it wasn't bald, his teeth were most likely false given their better appearance than the rest of him, she didn't want to find out how many teeth he'd lost.

Tentatively Lexi stepped forward, her arrival completely unnoticed by Craig, his eyes fixated on the window, in her mind it felt like he hadn't moved in 20 years, a ridiculous notion but one she felt might not be too exaggeratory.

"Hello, Craig." She spoke softly, barely above a whisper but enough for him to hear her, he turned towards her, his lifeless eyes scaring her.

"Who are you?"

Lexi knelt down next to him, trying hard to make him feel at ease, why she did she couldn't tell but she wasn't questioning herself right now.

"It's me Craig, it's Alexandra. You called for me, remember?"

Craig looked at Lexi, a faint sign of recognition as he tried to place her face, but it was ultimately pointless. "No, you're not Alexandra, my daughter's still a teenager."

Lexi's sigh was more sad than exhausted, she knew Craig would never remember her, she'd wasted her time. But then again she knew he wouldn't but she came anyway, throwing all her sense out the window Lexi decided to finally face her former father and get some issues off her chest.