All Comments on 'Something Better'

What a fun, romantic and sexy read… so enjoyable! Wonderful work.

This is a very good story. I really liked the characters, especially Natalie. I felt the pacing was well done and the story was very well written. The only negative thing I would say, is that I felt the cupid/muse parts slow down the main story. At least they were short.

Thanks for sharing this with us.

I couldn’t get beyond the bouncing between present and past tense. If you’re telling a story in past tense then you shouldn’t be using ‘today’ and ‘this week’. Here’s an example with corrections noted to keep the tenses uniform.

Work had been rough this last (THAT) week, not that she would complain, but she hadn't had a moment of peace all week until this (THAT) afternoon. One doctor and one other nurse practitioner had been out almost all week, meaning that everyone else in the group had to pick up the slack. Natalie had gotten to call it an early afternoon today (THAT DAY) for a hair appointment. She had a sudden wild urge to color her dark locks ruby red. Nat was going to look fantastic going out dancing tonight (THAT NIGHT).

Nice story, but this jarring effect of switching tenses throughout made it very difficult to read.

Great story! There was definitely an appropriate amount of build up between the two main characters.

That being said, I struggle to understand why the cupid/muse story line was included. It felt like the story wasn't at all written for it and was just thrown in partway through. The story of Nat and Rissa could have supported itself entirely without it.

To that though, I do think the cupid/muse story could do with a lot of development on its own. I'd be very interested in seeing Nat and Rissa's story as a retelling of 542's successes and failures over the centuries. Could be an idea for an extended series on 542!

This was a great story but i didnt like the cupid/muse, thought it wasnt needed

Unlike some others, I loved Cupid452 and Angela's involvement - it added humour and another dimension, helping to keep this lovely, sweet story light hearted. 5 ✨

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What an excellent tale. The primary tale of Clarissa and Natalie was very good. But the introduction of 542 and Angela was a pleasant surprise that elevated the story from very good to excellent! Fun characters! Thanks for writing. :)

I thought this is a great story. Well done, the only bog was a little with the Cupid ( the story really did not need it),but that worked out too. But then again you could do other story's with Cupid,that could be interesting! Thank you

Excellent. I thought the Cupid / Angela parts added to the story and explained the quite sudden change in Rissa's attitude to Nat. Perhaps too long for a contest entry but not boring in any sense.

An excellent story. Hope you win. I am kinda/sorta on the fence about the cupid/muse connection. At first it was

'what the heck' and later I could see where you were using the pair to move the story along. Great Thought!

It did work and added peripherally to the story. I really liked what you did at the end. You kept the story going and told us how they lived after coming together. Good job! Hope you continue writing.

Great story! Cupid 542 added an interesting twist.

Great one, with a funny side story. 5 stars, here you go.

This was simply wonderful. This is a talent that should never be ignored. If nothing else please keep writing for yourself. Thanks for blessing all with this gift.

I found Cupid and Angela cute to begin with, but I quickly lost interest in them. But without them there isn't much to the story. The supernatural actors both provide an explanation for Clarissa's behaviour and introduce a sense of jeopardy into the story. Full credit for an original story idea.

Really enjoyed the story. The POV switches of the main characters were well done. The Cupid 542/Angela side story was amusing, helped to move the story along, made attitude changes of the characters seem more organic, and created an opportunity for additional stories. I love a good love story and this was indeed one of them. I thank you.

Loved it

Wonderful story

Beautiful story, I needed to do something else but couldn't stop reading!