Sometimes Love is Not Enough, Redux

I must say, I've never seen him like this before. Mr. Calm, Cool and Collected was totally out of control. He managed to fill his lungs again and another bru-ha-ha-ha assaulted my ears. He gasped some more and then he started giggling. At least, I think he was giggling. Do men giggle? He managed to raise his head and look over the seat at me. There it was again, bru-ha-ha-ha. It suddenly dawned on me, I was still screaming. The first thing a girl has to do to quit screaming is shut her mouth. I shut mine, mid-scream. The rest of the scream came out my nose, along with a little snot and I think my eyeballs bulged. Bru-ha-ha-ha. There was that roar of laughter again. He finally calmed down to giggles with a few snorts thrown in for good measure. His face was bright red and streaked with tears. This was a side of my husband I had never seen before. Husband? Okay, so we were divorced. I didn't care. I still thought of him as my husband.

I reached over the side of the boat with my hand and splashed some water at him. That just brought more giggles and snorts. Somewhere in all of this mess, my funny bone managed to wake up and I started giggling. Then I was laughing at this whole ridiculous situation, right along with him.

We managed to calm down and I watched him tie a string to the fish and secure it to the side of the boat. He then looked over his shoulder expectantly at me. I crawled by him toward my seat at the back of the boat and as I passed him, he goosed me in a very intimate place. I rewarded him with a shriek and some rapid scrambling. Arranging myself on the seat, I glanced up and there was that bulge in his pants again. Damn! A familiar tingle started between my legs and streaked directly to my nipples. I immediately calculated the size of the boat and decided not to jump him for the moment. Death by drowning while in the middle of a climax wasn't my idea of a good way to die.

I reached over and pulled on the string until I could see the fish tied to it. Reviewing in my mind all that had happened, I picked up the pole and asked, "How do I get this little thingy on the end of the pole back out there? I want to catch another one."

Jim reached for the pole but I pulled it away and informed him, "I want to do it myself."

"Okay, hold the line with your index finger. Bring the pole back over your shoulder and then move it forward real quick in the direction you want the lure to go."

That sounded simple enough. The lure splashed in the water not five feet from the boat. Damn!

"That's okay, honey. Just release the line a little sooner."

I did release it sooner on my second try. The darn thing went straight up in the air and would have hit Jim on the top of his head as it came back down if he hadn't ducked out of the way.

Jim was snorting and laughing again. That pissed me off. I reared back and gave it a heave. The lure went way out there and landed by some cattails. Jim quit laughing just long enough to tell me, "Perfect! Now, start reeling it in real slow."

Once I got the hang of it, it wasn't so bad. The lure didn't anymore than hit the water on my fifth cast and the pole exploded again. I'm not sure but I think I said a whole bunch of dirty words as I was reeling the fish in. My fellow workers at the bank would be shocked if they could hear me now. Jim scooped the fish out of the water and dumped it between my feet just like he did before. I think he wanted Act II of what happened with the first fish. I wasn't about to give him the satisfaction. I gritted my teeth, smiled and waited for him to unhook the fish and tie it on the string.

He straightened himself on the seat and started staring at my crotch. I looked at his and the bulge went all the way to his belt. I dropped my gaze to me and—oh my! A camel-toe! Boy, did I have a camel-toe. There was a nice little wet spot right in the middle of it, too. I had a hunch that even if I had been wearing panties; the wet spot would still be there. Okay, so what if I was going commando. It wasn't like there was anyone else out here to see.

I again eyed the size of the boat and came to the same conclusion as last time. Sex in this little thing just wasn't possible. I looked at Jim and he just grinned at me. He must have came to the same conclusion as me. He said to keep fishing and I did.

We stopped late that afternoon. I don't know how many I caught because Jim released most of them. We kept, according to Jim, four nice ones. He insisted on a picture and I waited by the boat while he ran to the truck for the camera. He stayed by the boat and cleaned fish while I went to the cabin and started fixing something to eat.

I just couldn't shut up during supper. We talked about that little town and how friendly everyone was. Then I started reliving the thrill of every fish we caught. We washed and dried the dishes standing side-by-side. I plopped the towel on the counter, turned and placed my arms around his neck and whispered, "The only thing left to make this a perfect day is you, in bed with me, now."

We locked lips and shuffled to the bed, never breaking contact. It only took a few seconds to get naked. I scooted to the center of the bed and spread my legs, welcoming him back into my world. There was a brief flash of anger in his eyes. No, maybe not anger but an emotion every bit as strong. We looked down at the same time and he was going soft. I looked back into his eyes and the pain there completely tore me up inside. What had I done to this proud man?

"Oh, Jim. I'm so sorry."

Unable to face him, I rolled to my side and let the tears come. It had been such a perfect day. So much fun—so many bridges rebuilt. And now this. I allowed myself to lay there and cry, whimper, whine, and wallow in self-pity. How could something that was going so right suddenly turn out all wrong?

It took over an hour for me to recover. I finally sat up in bed and tried to carefully think everything through. This just had to be a small speed bump. Surely, nature would eventually take its course and normal relations would resume. All I had to do was be patient and await the inevitable results.

I found Jim sitting in the porch swing and sat down beside him. He started trying to make excuses. He was still suffering from the after effects of work. He was tired due to the long trip. He even tried to make a joke about me catching all of the fish. I wasn't fooled a bit. The vision of Wilder fucking me was burned into his memory and until he could get past that, the problem would continue. I tried to apologize for my stupidity again but he wouldn't let me finish. He insisted he had already forgiven me and it was time for us to quit looking back. According to him, what was done was done and we should concentrate on the future.

We got up early one morning, packed a lunch, and hiked all the way around the lake. I'm sure glad Jim insisted that I wear jeans and hi-top shoes. There were places of high grass and some of the wooded areas were a little hard to pass through. We ended the day with a midnight swim in the lake. All we took with us from the cabin were a couple of large towels. It was so erotic walking from the cabin to the lake totally nude. We spread the towels on the ground and made love under the stars after our swim.

We learned several things that night. We could pleasure each other with our hands and our oral antics were most satisfying. Jim got the call three times and I have no idea of how many times I rode the waves of orgasmic pleasure. At one point, we were in the classic sixty-nine (me above and him below) and I suddenly scooted down and impaled myself on his very hard cock. He was noodle-soft in less than a minute. I guess we were in lust because he didn't get upset. All he said was to forget that nonsense for now and to get back like we were.

We spent a week at that wonderful little cabin. Not once during that time were we able to have intercourse. However, there was certainly a lot of oral activity. I think Jim was being very generous with me when he made the comment, "What works, works, and what doesn't work, doesn't. We'll enjoy what we can and worry about the rest later."

Chapter 12

We had several hundred miles to go to reach the new job site. Jim took his time and turned it into a three-day trip. We made several little side trips to visit points of interest. We finally arrived at our destination about midnight and we just climbed into the trailer and went to sleep.

Someone pounding on our door woke us up about daylight. It was Maggie, Jim's secretary, wanting to know if we were going to have breakfast with her and Mike. Jim accepted for us and mentioned that jeans, shirt, and shoes would be the dress of the day for the next year. I expected a trip to a nice little diner where we would have a leisurely meal and then Jim and the others would go to work.

Imagine my surprise when we walked fifty feet to a large doublewide mobile home and went inside. It had four bedrooms; each equipped with desks, file cabinets, and all the other paraphernalia of a modern office. Just inside the main door was Maggie's desk and what was supposed to be the living room, had a large conference table sitting in the middle of it. The kitchen was the only thing that seemed normal. Maggie put me to work cooking bacon and eggs while she mixed the batter for pancakes. Maggie kept grinning at my frustration in dealing with so much bacon and three dozen eggs. Three other women arrived and started helping us.

Introductions were made and I was informed that everyone pitched in to make the morning and noon meals. Several of the engineers had their wives living on-site with them and now that I was here, I would be expected to do my part. There were fifteen men and nine wives to feed twice a day. Like Jim, they all had large campers parked close to the engineering trailers. I glanced out the window and there were two other large singlewide trailers parked close by. They had been converted to offices as well.

By the time breakfast was over and the dishes were done, I had made several new friends. We were sitting around the conference table and everyone had a cup of coffee or soft drink in front of them. I was told that this was our place to hang out until the two o'clock meeting when all the men gathered to compare notes on what had happened that day. Maggie, sitting at her desk, managed to keep up with the gossip going around the table and still do her job. The noon meal was pork chops and mashed potatoes with gravy. With the dishes washed, some of us headed for the mall to do a little shopping. I had never been around women like these. They were down to earth and had a practical outlook on life. I felt very comfortable in their company.

* * * * *

Jim arranged for us to see a marriage councilor twice a week. He was a nice enough man but he wasted two months of our time before he came to the conclusion that he couldn't help us. The only issue between us was Jim's continued lack of performance in bed. We didn't have any problem pleasing each other orally but every time we tried to have intercourse, Jim's mental block would rear its ugly head and he would wilt. The councilor recommended a psychiatrist.

Dr. Karen Michaels was about fifty years old and claimed she has been helping people with sexual dysfunctional problems for twenty years. Her specialty was working with women who had been abused or raped. According to her, the aftereffects can make it very difficult for a woman to have a normal healthy sexual relationship, even with someone she loves. Our unique problem was of interest to her and she agreed to work with us.

Karen soon figured out that I had some deep-set emotional problems with my mother, father, and stepfather. We put those on hold for the first four months. That's when Jim just gave up out of shear frustration. He tried everything Karen recommended and it was a complete waste of time. We both laughed when she suggested Viagra but Jim was determined to get past his hang-up so he went along with it. All the Viagra did was to turn a naturally horny man into a super horny man.

We were both disappointed with the results. Jim was actually able to maintain his arousal long enough to enter me but he would slowly go soft over a period of five minutes or so. This did very little for me and absolutely nothing for him. The only result of the wonder drug was a sore jaw for me. I wasn't about to leave my man hard and unfulfilled so I would take care of him with my mouth. We gave up after the effects of the third little blue pill wore off.

She even tried to hypnotize Jim and failed miserably. According to her, the only way Jim could be put under was with a large hammer. Karen told me that he was the most self-controlled man she had ever met.

It was always busy at the job site but a crucial time had arrived. Jim was now working fourteen-hour days and would be totally exhausted by bedtime. I continued to see Dr. Michaels and that's when she started focusing on my early years. She was somewhat sympathetic but wouldn't let me dwell on feeling sorry for myself. We took each problem, examined it, talked it through, and then moved on to the next problem. She helped me to understand that, although I didn't have an ideal childhood, it was time to put it in the past.

We moved on to my behavior from the time I entered college until I met Jim. This was the time period that was the most difficult to deal with. The way I let people use me and the way I used them in turn had been like a small hidden cancer in my mind. Meeting and falling in love with Jim had placed the guilt of those actions in remission. However, according to Karen, it was the fear of facing those actions and having to reveal them to Jim that had warped my thinking when Smythe made his threats. This didn't in any way excuse me from doing what Smythe demanded but now I at least knew why it was so easy for him to manipulate me.

Jim and I had spent four months with Dr. Karen Michaels and then I continued to see her solo for another three months. During all of that time, she showed emotion only twice. The first was when I explained, in detail, how Jim and I met. The second time was when I explained, in detail, what I did to Smythe when I returned to work after Jim left.

It was along about this time that I got some wonderful news from Sue. Her husband had committed himself to a clinic and dried out. He had managed to get a decent job and had a perfect attendance record over the past year. He was also a devoted member of Alcoholic's Anonymous and attended the meetings two evenings a week. Sue was going home and they were going to try to put their lives back together. I had the feeling that they would make it this time. I told her to lock the doors, give Abby the house and car keys and wished her good luck.

Karen changed our schedule from twice a week to once a week and then two months later, she changed it again to once every other week. We continued with that schedule until Jim's job was finished. We said our good-byes to everyone and headed for home.

Chapter 13

Home! Be it ever so humble. A twenty-nine foot travel trailer with all of the bells and whistles is nice but a big house with lots of rooms and a large yard is much more preferable; not to mention the hot tub and pool. There were a couple of months of empty-house dust everywhere and although Adam kept the yard trimmed, he didn't attend to it with the same amount of detail as Jim. We spent several days getting things back in an order that suited us.

Abby and Beth came by and we spent a few hours catching up on all of the gossip. The only big news was that Carl and Carla had gotten divorced. He was still chasing skirts at the local watering hole, just like he had been before she found out about it. She had found a decent guy that seemed to be looking for a long-term relationship. Rhonda called and was complaining, or bragging, about how busy she and Roger were with Club One. I don't know how they found out I was back but Lois called and not fifteen minutes after she hung up, Nora called. They both said Smythe was gone and there had been some major changes at the bank. They encouraged me to see the Chairman. He was temporarily running things until a new president could be hired.

Jim and I talked things over and since Smythe was no longer at the bank, he had no objection to my returning to work there. I dressed appropriately the next morning and, somewhat timorously, made my way to the bank.

Robert G. Thomas, Chairman of the Financial Board, Chief Executive Officer, and temporary President was more than just a fair man; he was downright gracious.

"Good morning, Janice. It's nice to see you again."

"Good morning, Mr. Thomas. Thank you for seeing me on such short notice. I wasn't sure if I would be welcome."

"Nonsense, you're always welcome here. And call me Robert, please. Now then, how may I help you?"

"Well, I realize I left without any notice but...."

"Please, stop right there. Things aren't the same, now. Let me tell you what has happened since you left. President Smythe has been discharged, with prejudice, from this bank. I think he is now working for a finance company in another state as a junior loan officer. He started using call girls to entice new customers after you ...uh ... expressed your displeasure with him. I'm sorry to say that I knew nothing about his actions or methods.

"It seems as though one of our potential customers contracted a rather nasty venereal disease from one of the ladies and the whole sordid mess came to my attention. I fired Smythe and he wanted to take his computer with him when he left. I had it checked and there were several files containing pictures of customers in compromising positions. There were even hidden files of you and two other bank employees. The hard drive of that computer has been destroyed. Mrs. Smythe found out about his extramarital activities and divorced him.

"It might interest you to know that Mrs. Wilder discovered that her husband was not only involved with Smythe's scheme but had a couple of lady friends he was seeing on a regular basis. It seems as though she received a business card from a private investigation agency and a note asking her if she knew what her husband was doing when he wasn't with her. Her account, all one hundred twenty million, is still in this bank. It was her money that Mr. Wilder was investing with us. He had no money of his own. She divorced him and I don't know where he's at now or what he's doing.

"Lois and Nora explained what Smythe was up to and what you eventually did about it. They had a case for sexual harassment and the bank has come to a mutual agreement with them. If you wish to bring charges of sexual harassment against the bank, I will understand."

"No, Mr. Thom..., Robert. I see no reason to bring any charges. That's all a part of my past and that's where I want to leave it. I've returned home and was wondering if the bank might have a position for me. I'd be willing to except almost anything."

"How would you like to have your old job back?"

"You mean as...?"

"Yes, as Vice President in charge of Human Resources and Public Relations."

"Thank you, I accept."

"I suppose you will want Lois back as your secretary?"

"That would be wonderful. We work well together."

"Consider it done. How soon can you start?"

"Would next Monday be okay?"

"Perfect. Welcome back aboard."

The trip out of the bank was a lot more enjoyable than the trip in. I found Lois and gave her the good news. She was thrilled and said she would have my office ready for me by next Monday.

* * * * *

Things started off a little slow at our Friday evening get-together. Then Adam, or Jim, I don't know which, made a comment about the others fishing ability. Brent managed to get in the middle of the discussion and you would never know that it had been two years since Jim had been here.