Sometimes Love is Not Enough, Redux

I asked about Rhonda and Abby said that she and Roger were too busy with Club One on Fridays to attend our parties. She had dozens of questions about how Jim and I had gotten along over the past year. I dodged most of them and told her we would talk privately some evening next week.

I suggested to Jim that we leave a little early and we walked home holding hands. Jim sat down at the kitchen table while I mixed us a couple of drinks. There was something I had to say and I wasn't sure how to begin. Finally, taking a deep breath, I began my speech.

"Jim, you have no idea how hard it is for me to say this but we have to let each other go. Your willingness to try to make things right between us has just made me love you all that much more. You deserve a life with someone you have complete trust in. No! Don't say anything. Please let me finish.

"I know we agreed to not talk about past relationships when we got married. I thought that was a good thing, a lucky break for me. The most you could confess to would be a few relationships with girlfriends. I, on the other hand, had been giving potential investors very personal inducements to invest with the bank. To put it bluntly, I sold my body for the benefit of the bank, and received some very nice bonus checks for my services.

"By the time we thought about telling each other about past relationships, I was deeply in love with you. I didn't tell you because I was afraid you would break off our engagement if you were to learn the truth about me. I should have had more faith in you. I realize now that not telling you was a mistake. If I had told you when I should have, the President of the bank would have been unable to manipulate me.

"It's time for both of us to move on. Please, Jim, find someone special, fall in love with her and have a loving, wonderful life."

It was all I could do to get that little speech out.

"Janice, we've done everything possible to put our lives back together and for the most part, we have succeeded. We are perfect together in every way but one. I'm still unable to get past this aversion of having intercourse with you. There is no sense in us trying to continue the relationship under these circumstances. We would, sooner or later, start to drift apart. You are correct; it will be best to end it now. I'm sorry."

Crying, I left the table and went to the bedroom. It was a long, lonely, sleepless night for me. Jim slept in the spare bedroom and moved his things in there the next day. He told me at breakfast that he had been trying to find a way to bring the subject of last night's conversation up. At least our parting would be cordial this time and we promised each other we would remain close friends.

He was going to return to the camper but I managed to convince him to stay here. He was scheduled to leave for another large construction project in a couple of weeks and he just as well enjoy the comforts of the house until he had to leave.

* * * * *

My first day at work was hectic, to say the least. The person who replaced me when I left had quit two months ago and he left things in a real mess. I recruited Nora to help Lois and we worked until six that evening. Jim called and said that things were in such a mess at his work he wouldn't be home until midnight. Not getting much sleep over the weekend, I ate a ham sandwich and went to bed.

The second day at work was better but not by much. The three of us worked our butts off until five. Jim called and said he would be late again that night. I hadn't been home for five minutes when Abby called and wanted to know how grilled steak sounded. Jeans and a shirt replaced my suit and out the door I went, headed for Abby's.

I was surprised to find Adam and Roger hovered over the grill. Rhonda was climbing out of the pool and gave me a friendly wave. Abby threw a bikini at me, telling me we had time for a dip in the hot tub before dinner was ready. Thirty minutes soaking in the tub with a drink in my hand was just what I needed. Brent and Beth arrived just as the steaks were ready to serve. The steak was perfect and the two glasses of wine I had with it were even better. We were sitting at the patio table, mellowing out after that delicious meal when Abby asked the inevitable question.

"So, how are you and Jim getting along?"

I hesitated, started to answer, and then glanced at Adam, Roger and Brent. Abby immediately said, "Why don't you boys excuse us for a little while. This is one of those times when we girls need our privacy."

They started to leave when it dawned on me that I was being totally ridiculous. Abby and Rhonda, and Beth too, had probably told their husbands all about the trials and tribulations of my marriage.

"No, guys, you may as well stay. I'm sure your wives have kept you up to date about my problems. You'll get a kick out of just how bazaar my life has become. Its perfect in every way, except one. Jim has developed a mental block when it comes to having sex."

Brent and Adam looked embarrassed and the girls looked guilty. Roger, on the other hand, looked me in the eyes and calmly said, " Tell us about it. Maybe we can help."

"Well, it's like this. Everything works perfectly right up until it's time to couple and that's when he... he wilts. His erection just... goes away."

Abby stifled a giggle. Beth was biting her lower lip, doing her best not to laugh. Rhonda started stirring her drink, finding the ice cubes fascinating. Adam and Brent were making it a point to not look at each other, knowing if they did they would burst out laughing. Roger got a serious far off look in his eyes, like he was pondering the possibility of life on Mars, or some other such nonsense. I sat there, staring them down, daring one of them to make a smart-assed remark.

"So, what you're telling us is that Jim is unable to perform, sexually? Why?"

Roger asked that in such a serious tone that I answered without thinking.

"We do quite well with our hands and oral sex is great but when he goes to stick it between my legs, he has a flashback of seeing Wilder fucking me and he immediately wilts."

The girls, realizing how serious I was, managed to assume somewhat normal expressions. Abby still looked like she wanted to have a good laugh though. Adam and Brent were still ignoring each other but at least they weren't laughing. No one said anything, willing to let Roger take the lead on questioning. Roger still had that far off look and it was obvious he was taking my situation very seriously.

"So, Jim actually walked in and saw you and this Wilder fella having sex?"

"Yep, that's what happened, Roger."

"Did he grab Wilder and toss him out of the room?"

"No."

"Did he yell at Wilder and tell him to leave?"

"No."

"Did he yell at you?"

"No."

"What did he do about it?"

"Nothing. Well, almost nothing. He watched for a little bit, picked my panties up off the floor, spread them on the table in the other room, placed his wedding band on them and left."

"What about later? Did he yell at you when you got home?"

"He never came home."

"Did he do anything at all?"

"His secretary, Maggie, said he got drunk and then got sick the next morning. The next thing I knew, I had divorce papers and Jim was at a job halfway across the country."

"Up until he caught you with Wilder, did he ever have any problems with performance in bed?"

"No, just the opposite. We had a very active sex life."

"How did you get back together?"

"A friend of his managed to convince him to listen to my side of what happened."

"And?"

"He forgave me and decided to give us another chance."

"Just like that? He forgave you?"

"That's about it, Roger. He said we needed to focus on the future, not the past."

"He didn't give you a good cussin? He didn't yell at you? He didn't point out how stupid you were?"

"Nope, none of the above."

"Your sister, Sue, said something about getting professional help. How did that go?"

"We saw a marriage councilor for a couple of months and then he sent us to a psychologist who specialized in working with people who have sexual problems. We saw her for four months.

"What did she have to say about the problem?"

"She said that Jim was the most even-tempered, self-controlled man she had ever met. She even tried to hypnotize him but that didn't work. Jim finally gave up and quit going but she continued to see me for a while."

"Did she try to get Jim to open up and tell you how he felt about what you did?"

"Yes. He refused. All he did was look at me and say, 'What's done is done. I forgive you.'"

"Hmmm, I see."

I had no idea of just what Roger could 'see' so to speak, but whatever it was, he was certainly in deep thought about it.

"Hey, why don't I seduce him?" Beth piped up. "I'll bet I could get him to give me a good fucking. Once he does it, he should be okay, right?"

"She could, you know," offered Brent. "Hell, she could seduce the Pope if she set her mind to it. I wouldn't mind giving Jim a go at her if you think it will help."

"Nope, that won't work," said Roger, deadpan serious. "I'd be willing to bet that Jim wouldn't have any trouble at all with another woman. Janice is the problem. It's her betrayal he couldn't get past and then when he found out she was coerced, he felt it was too late to do anything about it. Plus, he's a man with a lot of self-control. Hunting someone down and beating the crap out of them would be totally out of character for him. Yet, that's what should have happened. The thing of it is, he needs to reassert himself with Janice and he doesn't know how to go about it. Part of him wants - no, needs - to get angry but another part of him says he is above that kind of behavior. He's tearing himself up inside and he hasn't got a clue as to what to do about it."

"That may be, Roger," I said, dejectedly. "But, Jim and I had a little talk. Considering his affliction, I felt it was unfair to keep him tied to me. He felt, considering his affliction, he was being unfair to me by trying to continue our relationship. We've agreed to part company. He'll be moving out for good when he leaves for the next job."

"Oh, my," exclaimed Abby. "That's so unfair. You've both tried so hard. Are you sure you want to give up?"

"Of course I don't want to give up but I've been at my wit's end for the past couple of months now. I just don't know what else to do. He deserves to be happy and if that means I have to let him go, then that's what I'll do."

"Tell me, Janice, are you willing to try one more time," a grinning Roger asked.

"I'm willing to try anything but we've already agreed to go our separate ways. What do you have in mind?"

"It'll require the help of a few friends and complete co-operation on your part," ventured Roger, still grinning.

"Hey, we're all friends and we'll do anything to help Jim," Adam proudly stated.

"Wrong friends. We need several couples from our little swing club who Jim doesn't know and since he doesn't know me or Rhonda, we'll do most of the work. "Dear," he said, still grinning from ear to ear and looking right at Rhonda, "I'm going to turn you loose on Jim. What do you think of that?"

"I don't understand," said a puzzled Rhonda.

"Look," Roger explained. "Here's what we're going to do...."

Three hours and I don't know how many phone calls later, I was on my way home. If Roger was right and everything worked, as it should, we would at least find out if Jim had any love for me left in his heart.

The next night found me at Club One being introduced to all of the players. I was surprised to find that some of them were very good customers of the bank. I had no idea they belonged to a swing club. Well, as Roger explained, a very exclusive swing club. Membership was by invitation only and they were very particular about who they asked to join. As a matter of fact, no one had been approached for membership since Jim and I turned them down over two years ago.

I knew I would never be able to remember everyone there but Roger made it easy for me. All I had to do was make sure whoever I danced with had a little gold stickpin in the collar of their shirt. I was assured no one other than one of the club members would be dancing with me Friday night.

Chapter 14

I was tiptoeing on pins and needles by the time Friday evening arrived. It was time to convince Jim to take me to the club and I was worried I wouldn't be able to talk him into it. Walking into the living room and interrupting his news show, I asked, "Honey, would you take me out dancing tonight?"

"I don't think so," he mumbled. "Besides, I wouldn't want to scare anyone off that might ask you to dance."

"Oh, come on. Don't be such a stick in the mud. It'll do us both good to have a couple of drinks and let off a little steam."

"Okay, what's the dress code for this place you want to go to?"

"Dress shirt and sport coat, tie is optional."

"What? No pants? What kind of a place are we going to," he asked, chuckling.

"Oh, don't be silly. Now go change. Blue jeans are definitely a no-no," I laughed.

This might not be as hard as I thought it would be. His laughing and joking with me meant he was in a good mood. I wondered how long that would last.

I dressed carefully. Red thong, red half cup bra, black pleated skirt that went almost to my knees and a black short-sleeved silk blouse. Black two-inch heels completed my ensemble. It had been a long time since I had worn a thong and I had to do some serious trimming.

We climbed into Jim's truck and he followed my directions to the club.

"What kind of a place is this," he exclaimed as we pulled into the parking lot.

We were early but the parking lot was already a little over half full.

"Just a dance club I heard about the other day," I lied.

There was no way I could tell him I had been here with the girls once before or again the other night with Roger and his friends. Later, regardless of how things went tonight, I would tell him.

The place was filling up fast, as Roger said it would. That's why we needed to be here early, before all of the good places to sit were taken. We found an empty booth about halfway down the room. Perfect, the whole dance floor could be observed from here.

A young waitress showed up to take our drink order and she winked at me when Jim wasn't looking. Okay, she was evidently in on what was about to happen. Roger had covered that with me as well. I would be given drinks with very little alcohol in them but I was supposed to act a little drunk later in the evening.

The band managed to get set up and started with a fast number. Our drinks arrived and Jim was continually looking around, checking the place out. The next song was a slow one and I took Jim by the hand and led him to the dance floor.

"My first dance is with you, for old times sake," I whispered in his ear as we began to move with the music.

That got a reaction. He gave me the strangest look but he didn't say anything. The next song was another fast one and Jim led me back to the booth. We hadn't been there a minute when Roger appeared as if by magic. He must have been hiding close by.

"Sir, would you mind if I danced with this lovely lady?" Roger asked, looking Jim right in the eyes. Jim looked at me and I nodded so he nodded his approval to Roger. We hadn't anymore than got on the dance floor when Roger leaned in close and whispered, "It's working."

"How can you tell so soon?"

"He almost got up and followed us. He's looking around now to see if there's anybody here that he knows. You just watch and be ready. He'll probably dance a few times with some of the girls but he'll claim you before the night is over."

Roger might be convinced but I sure wasn't. I was watching out of the corner of my eye and Jim finally got up and went over by the bar. I recognized the girl standing there as one of the club members. She had positioned herself perfectly. Jim said something to her and she grabbed his hand and led him onto the floor. I maneuvered myself to the other side of Roger so I could watch Jim and Roger immediately moved me back to where I was.

"You idiot," Roger hissed at me. "You can't watch Jim. Keep your back to him and at least pretend you're on the prowl for a man tonight."

This was going to be extremely difficult. My panties were already getting damp just from watching Jim dance. The song was almost over when Roger gave me a little push and said, "Get back to the booth, now. Jim will be there when this dance is over. Twist his tail a little bit."

This was turning out to be harder on me than it appeared to be on Jim. I sat down and noticed him walking my way. I picked up my drink and drank it in one gulp. Damn, if there was any alcohol in that, I couldn't taste it. Roger wasn't kidding when he said I should remain sober. I hated soda water and knew I would have to do something about that.

"Having fun?" he asked as he sat down.

"Oh yes! Thanks for bri...."

Roger grabbed me by the arm and I found myself on the way to the dance floor.

"Janice, that was perfect. Did you see his reaction when I pulled you back out here?"

"No, I didn't. I can't tell that he reacted at all. Are you sure this is going to work?"

"Why don't you ask the back of his neck? It's beet-red."

"How do you know that? We're too far away to tell."

"Simple, look in my left ear."

I did and there was a little bitsy contraption stuck in his ear and a small wire going from it to under his collar.

"What is that thing?"

"An earphone. One of my bouncers is in the security office and he's keeping a surveillance camera zoomed in on Jim. He's telling me everything Jim does."

The next couple of hours were kind of a blur. The guys started trading off on me. It seemed like every time a new song started, there was a different guy with a stickpin in his collar dancing with me. Roger would occasionally cut in and tell me what Jim was doing. I did notice one thing though. Every time the band played a slow number Rhonda somehow weaseled her way into Jim's arms. The band finally took a break and Roger was right there, giving me instructions.

"Go to the bathroom and roll your skirt up. I want Jim to get a glimpse of your panties when you twirl. Undo some buttons on that blouse too."

"But I'm not wearing panties. All I've got on is a thong."

"That's even better. Now, go do what I told you."

Roger disappeared in the crowd so I headed for the bathroom. Standing in front of the mirror, I couldn't decide if I wanted to do this or not. I rolled the waistband of my skirt one time and that raised the hem a little over an inch. One more roll and the hem came up at least another inch and a half. This was too much. The crotch of my thong was wet by now and I sure didn't what anyone to see that. I started to unroll it when a voice behind me said, "One more hitch should be just about right."

"Rhonda! Darn it, girl, don't sneak up on me like that."

"Then watch the mirror closer. I'm serious, Janice. Roll it one more time."

"Darn it! I don't know if I can do this or not."

" Sure you can, and you will. Here, bottoms up, you need a real drink. Roger says you're stiff as a board out there."

I took a gulp and it burned all the way down.

"Wow! What the heck is that stuff?"

"What's the difference? Finish the drink, girl. You've got work to do when you get back out there. Roger is going to pick the right moment and then he's going to spin you around and show you off. Let your tits bounce and don't try to control your skirt. Undo the three top buttons of your blouse. The next song after that will be a slow one. Roger is going to grope, fondle, and tongue-kiss the hell out of you. I'm going to be all over Jim during the slow song before Roger starts showing you off. I'll see to it he's at the booth where he will have a front row seat for Roger's performance. This is the only chance you're going to get, girl. If you really love him like you say you do, I suggest you take full advantage of it. Now, get out there and twist the hell out of his tail."