All Comments on 'Songbird'

Wow! What a wonderful story!

5

I have very mixed feelings about the story.

Good start and good character development.

But then the far-fetched scenario and overly implausible situations left me with a taste of unfinished reflection and rushed writing.

For example: they don't communicate, they don't hear from each other directly, but they should still know what's going on in their lives. Families live next door, mothers are best friends.

They don't talk to each other, they don't exchange information about their children?

Artists and athletes have the financial means to travel and the time to do it......you only have to look at the number of ads, photos, interviews and TV appearances they do......but they never get the chance to see or meet each other......they're too busy.

Of course, on the day of the call for help, he's there, reaching her in 30 minutes.....

While they're apart, there's a gap in the story. You tell us what they're doing, but not what they're experiencing, what they're feeling.

We never find out if Ethan has met anyone, if he's been through anything, why he's still single.

It lacked substance.

This shows a lack of reflection on the situations, a deliberate effect of plots without coherence........ it's a real shame because it penalizes your story.

This is only my opinion, not the truth, and is not intended to be a negative or dismissive review.

Good story. Not quite as good as some of your others. But still worth taking the time to read.

Superb, gripped me from start to end and even caused this old man to get something in his eye a couple of times!!

Like life this story has it's moments ... it is it's own journey!

Well some folks may have found it lacking but I enjoyed the story. I couldn't set it down until I had finished it. Looking forward to the next time you share your fantasy and talent with us your fans.

Cheers

SAGE

@franceman pretty much nailed it already. It suffers from a lack of plausible relationships outside of the fucking, that just makes what happens between them all that more difficult to accept as likely, much less possible. A good swing, but ultimately, a miss, to carry on with your own baseball references.

Great story. I really enjoyed this one.

Well written story that kept the reader wanting more. I will say the frequent brushes with death and tragedy pulled at the plot lines a bit much, making me wonder when another shoe would fall. The biggest gap was the impact of Heather never breaking up with Ethan, to the point of having a fiancé, was never explained. I don’t care how much he loved her, that betrayal would leave deep scars. Further ignoring the divide, he never dated anyone in the ensuing years despite being a top MLB pitcher? Doesn’t fly for me. 4.3*

Nice overall, but a couple of problematic areas. One is the fact that a February funeral is cold and snowy, but a surprise New Year's picnic in the same area is somehow warm enough for both main characters to strip completely down. The other main issue I have is that there's no reflection whatsoever from Heather about ghosting and dumping Ethan -- she just does it, doesn't agonize over it when she does it or after, and simply goes on to later decide to make him hers again, with the main concern being not how Ethan might handle the emotional betrayal aspects, but instead the scars her body bears from her abuse. This leaves us with someone who is really deeply emotional in terms of her music, and reflective then, but only intermittently so otherwise. This certainly matches the way some artists are, but her it feels more like an unfinished portrait.

That said, overall this is an excellent story, as yours generally are. And the White Sox have at least had reasonable stretches of real competitiveness and success, so your wish fulfillment there isn't toooo outlandish!

I really wanted Ethan to end up with Amanda, because Heather was really a shallow person. She loved Ethan, and knew he loved her - yet hooks up with Aaron and gets engaged to him. Do I dare say, A-aron messed up?….

JT

I enjoyed this story, despite the shortcomings noted by others below. My biggest gripe is that title song has become a bloody earworm!

Thanks for sharing :)

Amazing story. I’m a 60+ yo man and the story had me in tears several times. Thank you for your talent, and sharing it with us.

Wow. Just wow

Ethan has no relationships in all those years? He just pines away for someone who threw him away without regard for his feelings? Heather can't figure out that it could only be Ethan sending roses all these years? Not your best.

Basically a good story, but in some places too "bumpy" for my liking, the plot not really credible (the first time in the back seat of a car ? And its the girl who wants it ? Really ... ?). In other places it all happens too fast somehow.

Therefore I would have preferred the - good ! - basis to be further elaborated, even if the story would have become (even) more extensive - but (IMVHO) probably better in the end !

Therefore only 3/5 stars !

That was quite the ride, emotionally. This story I’ll remember for a long time.