Songs of You Ch. 01

I turned to see Gus coming through the garden, looking around the area like he thought it was quaint and a little below him. I looked up at the house from the back yard, seeing the window to Wyatt's room and sighed.

"This isn't exactly a great place to make out," Gus told me.

"Yeah, I was kind of hoping we could talk," I said to him.

"Talk?" He gave me an incredulous look.

I put my hands in my pockets, nervously. "I think we should break up."

"Break up?" Gus demanded. "Why?"

"I just don't think we have the same goals here," I said quietly. "You want everything now, right now, and I don't feel ready to give it. On top of that, you want a full out relationship and I can't do that right now, and my friends and you don't really get along."

"Your friends? Those losers from your band? That's why you're breaking up with me?" he groaned.

I felt myself starting to get angry. "They aren't losers. They're some of the best people I've ever met, and they're some of my best friends. And if they are losers, then so am I."

"Is there someone else?" he demanded. "Is that why you're just going to throw the whole relationship away?"

There was, but that wasn't why I was doing it, so there wasn't a reason to mention it. "No, Gus. I'm just tired of being pressured. Sometimes relationships just don't work, and it's fine."

"You'll regret breaking up with me," he yelled at me before storming off.

I bit my lip as I watched him stomp back to his car, wincing a little as I heard him slam his car door before peeling out of the driveway. I came walking back into the backyard, away from the ravine, and stopped to look up at the house, seeing Wyatt and his sisters watching me. Nothing that could happen on this property would ever be secret, and I felt a little uneasy now knowing that Wyatt had seen the whole thing.

I picked up a rock from the ground, turned around and threw it back toward the garden with a loud shout of frustration before turning to grab my backpack and walking home. I didn't want to talk to any of the Prince kids about this altercation. I was too annoyed and upset. I did homework as soon as I got home and then went in to have dinner before washing the dishes like I was supposed to. We didn't have a dishwasher, so it was up to me and my sister, who was a year younger than me, to do the dishes.

I was just finishing up drying the dishes when I heard my dad call for me. I put the last dish away and then came out to the living room. Both of my parents were sitting rigidly in their chairs, turning their eyes to me as I came into the room. My mom asked my sister Eliza, the second oldest of all of us, to take the other girls into their rooms, and I saw Eliza give me a wide eyed expression before she ushered them down the hallway.

"What's going on?" I asked, noting the angry look on my father's face.

He held up his phone, which showed a picture of Gus and me kissing, and I felt like I had just been punched in the gut. I felt like I couldn't pull any air into my lungs. He demanded that I explain myself, but I had no good way to. None. It wasn't just that photo either. He had included ones of us making out, and one he had taken that I didn't know he had taken, when my mouth was around him. There was no explaining this away.

My mom was looking at me with disappointment as my father stood up, crossing his arms and waiting for my response.

"Dad, I..." I tried to start, but I knew I didn't have any good excuse, so I sighed. "The photos are real. That's my ex-boyfriend. I'm gay."

That was all my father needed to hear as he handed his phone to my mother and I felt his fist hit my face. This wasn't the first time my father had put his hands on me. I constantly went to school covering up bruises, but this felt like an entire new level of pain. He hit me hard in the jaw, sending me toppling over onto the ground before he came over and grabbed my shirt, making me look at him again before he hit me again and again and again. Eventually I ended up in a ball on the floor, covering my face from any more hits while he kicked me hard in the ribs. I could hear my mom screaming at him to stop, reminding him that if he killed me he'd go to prison.

My father seemed to relent to that, grabbing me by my hoodie and pulling me up and out the front door. I rolled along the grass and came to a stop near the sidewalk, and I heard my sister more than saw her come running outside to tell my dad to go inside the house. He grumbled but did as she asked and then she pulled me up to a standing position. When I was able to get my eyes to focus, I looked down to see that she had packed up my clothes and school items, as well as most of my sentimental items and had carried them outside.

We walked down the road toward Wyatt's, her carrying my bags for me. We were silent the entire way down to the next street, where Wyatt lived, and then she turned to me, tears in her eyes.

"I knew," Eliza said to me. "That you were gay. I saw you with one of your boyfriends kissing last year. I don't agree with them. You can't just choose who you are attracted to."

"Thanks, Eliza," I told her quietly. "Really, thank you. Are you going to pretend you don't know me at school?"

She shook her head. "No, never. You're my brother and I love you. I'm sorry dad's such a..."

"Abusive asshole?" I asked.

Eliza nodded. "Yeah. Will you be safe?"

"Yeah," I said and then motioned toward Dorothy's house.

She helped me bring all of my bags down into the basement. She put them down in the bedroom down there before hugging me gently, trying not to hurt me. She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and then left to go back home; her home, now, because it was no longer mine.

I slowly went and sat down at the keyboard. I could play every single instrument we used. From the guitar, bass, drums, and keyboard. I even added violin to some of our songs. Right now, I just wanted the piano. I made sure the keyboard was on the right setting and then began to play a ballad. It was one by Harry Styles that I had liked a lot, called "Falling." I had related to parts of it quite a bit, so that was what I sang now, wanting to play one last time here before I went to Salt Lake to look for a LGBTQ+ shelter for kids my age.

I was so into the song that I didn't hear the footsteps on the steps until I heard Wyatt's voice. "Can we cool it on the belting, Milo? I have a headache that I just got under..." He stopped when he took in my face, his eyes going wide. "What the fuck happened??"

I let my hands drop from the keyboard and onto my lap, looking away from him. "Gus made good on his promise. He sent photos to my father's phone of us together, kissing, and me...me sucking..."

Wyatt came over and shook his head. "You don't have to say more. Your father did this to you?"

I nodded my head and got up, to walk around the keyboard, suddenly feeling dizzy and out of it. I stumbled and Wyatt caught me in his arms. If I wasn't so hurt, I likely would have been thinking about how good it felt to be in his strong arms, but I just felt out of it. The feel of his arms tightening around my ribs sent a wave of nausea through me, and I ran to the bathroom down here and started throwing up.

"We have to call the police," Wyatt said to me once my heaving had stopped.

I shook my head. "They won't do anything, Wyatt. No cop here in Utah is going to arrest a man for 'disciplining' his gay son."

"Discipline my ass, Milo!" Wyatt yelled. "That's not discipline, that's assault! He assaulted you!"

"And it's not the first time!" I cried, and Wyatt looked at me with a pained expression. "CPS got involved a while ago, back when I was around thirteen I think. They basically told him that I am my father's property and he could do what he liked to us."

"That's bullshit," Wyatt grumbled.

"But it was their stance," I said, and wiped my mouth off before I came back into the room where he was standing. "I'll be f..."

A wave of dizziness hit me again, and I could feel myself falling. He grabbed onto me again, slowly lowering me to the ground, and the world around me went dark as he screamed my name.

~~~

I awoke in a hospital room to find Dorothy and Wyatt sitting in chairs. Dorothy had fallen asleep, but Wyatt was awake and looking at me. The window outside showed that it was dark though I couldn't tell just how late it was.

"You're awake," Wyatt said as he pulled his chair closer to me. "How do you feel?"

"Out of it," I replied truthfully.

"They've given you a lot of medicine," Wyatt told me. "No internal bleeding, but your ribs are broken. Everything else, luckily, isn't broken, but you have a lot of lacerations. They stitched up the wound near your eye. They said they'll release you tomorrow."

"And the cops?" I asked.

"They took our statements," Wyatt replied. "Hopefully they do something."

"I need to find a shelter," I said quietly.

"Hell no," Wyatt said a little too loudly, and I noticed that Dorothy was awake now and looking at me.

"Nonsense, Milo," Dorothy said to me. "Once they release you, you'll be coming home to my house. I already have Evie changing the sheets on your bed and unpacking your clothes and personal belongings into your room. You'll stay with us, finish high school, and my son can help you figure out your FAFSA forms so your parents won't count against you."

"You don't have to do that," I replied.

"Don't be a moron," Wyatt said. "We want you there. I am not losing you my senior year of high school, got it?"

I smiled at him then. "Thank you."

The doctors were true to their word, and they released me the next day after I spoke with the police. I obviously didn't go to school, and neither did Wyatt so he could help me get settled after being released. He took me in through the side entrance, so there were less stairs to go down into the basement. Wyatt got me settled into the bed and then got me a drink so I could take one of the pain meds they sent me home with.

"You're so amazing, Wyatt," I said as I settled down under the blanket, him sitting on the bed next to me, his back against the headboard. "You're such a good friend, and you've always been there for me. I don't know how I would have handled this without you."

"It's really nothing," Wyatt told me. "I care about you. Of course I'm going to do everything I can to help."

I shook my head as he moved to lay down next to me, facing me. "It's everything."

He was looking at me so warmly, with so much care, and I could feel my feelings for him bubbling over. I wasn't as controlled and careful as I would have been if I wasn't exhausted and on pain medicine, so I reached over to put my hand on his cheek, caressing it with my thumb, looking into his beautiful blue eyes, before leaning over and kissing him softly.

I could feel him stiffen up in shock, but then he relaxed and started kissing me back. We kissed for a minute or so, and then he pulled away from me, looking at me like he wasn't sure what to do with that gesture.

"You're high," he told me.

I smiled and shook my head again. "No, just tired. Tired enough to not try and hide how much I like you. Like like you. Have a crush on you, want to date you, in love with you."

Wyatt looked like he couldn't quite wrap his mind around that. "Just rest, okay? I'll come down with food later."

I nodded my head and watched as he left, and I pulled the blanket around me and fell asleep. We didn't talk about the kid for the rest of the week or through the weekend. He would come in to make sure I was okay, bring food or medicine, and then go back upstairs to do homework.

I didn't go back to school until Monday. Wyatt had told my bandmates what happened, and they had come to see me, but now they were acting as protectors as we walked through the school hallways. Varick, especially, was pissed.

"I'll rip that preppy jock right in two," he was growling as we stood at my locker, letting me put half of my books away. "If he comes near you, I'll kill him myself."

Gus really didn't come near me though. He saw me in the hallway and his eyes widened, but as soon as he saw the way my friends were looking at him, he hightailed it out of there. I couldn't help but laugh seeing his face as Varick growled at him like a wild wolf, and it hurt my ribs more than I admitted to them.

A week later we were back in the basement rehearsing. We were nearing the end of rehearsal when Wyatt came down into the basement, sitting on the couch and listening to us play.

"You guys sound amazing," Wyatt said after we finished the last song. "When is your next gig?"

"We might be playing at the winter formal," Varick replied. "It's not a done deal yet, but it's likely."

Wyatt nodded his head. "That's coming up soon. I hope you do. Your music is great."

I was hunched over my sheet music holder, making some changes to one of the songs that we had all agreed to and looked over at him with a smile. Wyatt seemed to be watching me now, and I couldn't figure out why. We hadn't talked about the kiss, so I could only assume that he didn't want anything to come of it.

"If you guys are done, do you mind if I talk to Milo alone?" Wyatt asked, and my friends looked between each other before nodding and grabbing their things to go back to their cars to go home.

I pushed the sheet music away from me lightly, and crossed my arms as I looked at him after the basement door closed. "What's up?"

"I figured it was time we talked about that kiss," Wyatt responded, and I turned my eyes away from him, feeling my face heat up.

"Oh," was all I could think to say to that. I got up and came over to sit down on the couch next to him.

"So, you do seem to remember it," he said to me.

"I was out of it, not drunk off my ass," I grumbled.

"You had a pain pill and I wasn't sure if that was impairing your judgment," Wyatt explained.

I sighed at him. "The only impairment that day was that I didn't have much in the way of impulse control. Normally I could have stopped myself before I did it, and just made cryptic comments instead. I didn't succeed that time."

"So, you're saying you wanted to kiss me then?" he asked me.

"Yes," I replied quietly. "I have for a while now."

"You never mentioned anything," he said quietly.

I gave him a sad smile. "We've always kind of been out of sync. If I'm single, you're in a relationship, and then when you end up single, I was in a relationship."

He sighed and sat back, looking at me intently. "I guess I'm just surprised by it. On top of that, we've been best friends for a long time, and I don't want to lose that. Most high school relationships don't last a lifetime, and I would hate for us to date and that ruin our friendship."

"Oh," I replied, looking away. "Yeah, you're right, just forget I made any sort of move."

"Milo," he said, and it made me look back over at him. "I didn't say we couldn't see what it could be. I just want you to be aware of the risks here. It takes far more work to keep a high school relationship going long term, especially as we both change through graduation and college. That doesn't mean I'm unwilling to try though."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I just nodded my head. He could tell that I was nervous. I had never been good at hiding things from him. He moved over on the couch closer to me and put his hand on my knee, looking me in the eyes. His eyes were so beautiful. I wanted to fall into them.

"Would you want to go on a date sometime?" he asked me then, surprising me. I had expected him to take more time. "And maybe we could go to the winter dance together? I mean, you know, around your gig."

I wanted to just reply quickly with yes please, but instead I was quiet for a moment before smiling at him. "That would be great. I would love that."

"Good," he said with a smile. Then he looked seriously, bringing up his hand to feel the slight beard I'd grown since getting hurt because I didn't want to shave with open wounds on my face and broken ribs. "Do you mind if I kiss you?"

Be still my fucking heart. I had never wanted anything more than that, so I nodded my head, licking my lips in anticipation. He leaned in and our lips met. His lips were so soft and warm, and it made my heart beat faster, excitedly. I put my arms around his shoulders as he deepened the kiss, his hands running along my sides. I loved the feeling of his hands on me like this. For all of my waffling about the sex thing with past boyfriends, if Wyatt asked me to right this minute, I would, and I didn't think I'd regret it a single bit.

He finally broke the kiss and put his forehead against mine. "I think I've missed the feel of facial hair in my kissing. It's been a while."

"Enjoy it while it lasts," I told him. "I'll be shaving once I feel well enough. I like to go all out with my makeup on stage."

"Yeah, but you'll always have stubble at night," he whispered.

"I'm glad you like it." I kissed him again, running my hand through his strawberry blonde hair.

We spent a while making out on the couch, not letting it go much past that for now. I didn't want to broach the subject of sex yet. We should have our first date first, and then we could see how things naturally progressed, but I had never been this excited about a date in my entire life.