Spirit of a Whore Pt. 01

***This is purely a work of fiction. All characters depicted are over 18 years of age. Additionally, this story contains some non-consensual elements so if that is not to your liking, you may want to move on. If it is, enjoy.

Sarah had hated everything about living out west. Life hadn't been easy back east either but it was a different level of hardship when one had to start a house and home with nothing. Not that her life before she married Thomas had been easy. It certainly hadn't been. Her family was dirt poor like just about everyone else she knew living in the city. Sarah and her family lived in a small flat that could barely hold the 8 of them. Her father came and went, claiming to be looking for work but all he seemed to find was women and drink. In between his comings and goings he always made sure to leave a baby in her mother's belly and another mouth for Sarah to scuffle to feed.

Sarah met her future husband Thomas at a church social. He was older by 16 years but he was smitten. It was not a love match for Sarah but it was an opportunity. She loved her mother and her siblings but at 17 she was tired. She had been raising babies, sharing beds, and making things stretch to paper thinness her entire life. She wanted a life of her own, a place, and space that belonged to her. If she had to take on a husband for it then so be it. Her father of course okayed the marriage in exchange for a small dowry that would provide money for his extended hiatus and libations. Sarah harbored a sense of guilt about leaving her mother and her younger sisters to the responsibilities that she once held but she only had one life to live and it would not be spent in servitude due to another's bad decisions.

Sarah had gotten married thinking that all couples were like her parents. Whatever expectation she had of womanly duties was not nearly as strenuous as the sounds coming from the opposite side of the room she had shared with her parents and siblings would have her to believe. Thomas's sexual appetite was minimal at best. They would be 6 years into their marriage before Sarah would bear a daughter who she named Merida. It was a difficult birth. Sarah was warned that it would not be in her best interest to breed again. It was a diagnosis that she was 100 percent on board with. Thomas was happy with his one daughter and more than happy to lessen any obligations toward husbandly duties.

The decision to move west came as a result of the propaganda of Westward Expansion and dreams of striking it rich. Thomas, a cobbler by trade, was taken with the idea of the riches and land of the west so they along with 4 families from their church struck out, leaving Philadelphia to search out their fortune. They would find that there was very little fortune to be had by the time they made it there. What was available was backbreaking labor and hardship for which most of their fellow travelers were ill-equipped.

Thomas would be among a lucky few to find gold. The fortuitous find would allow him to buy the land in which they lived and to afford a modest home. News of the find brought the wealthy down like locusts. What they didn't make in gold they bled out of the residents by price gouging the most basic necessities of living. Thomas would still work as a cobbler in town while prospecting as a pass time. Sarah worried about him. He was getting up in age and she worried that spending so much time out panning would invite the wrong type of people. But she need not have worried. It would be a stroke that would take her husband and leave her widow at 35 with a 12 year old daughter.

Sarah would marry again almost immediately after the death of her husband. Again it wasn't a marriage based on love, but a marriage born of necessity. She had no reason to return east. Her family, whoever was left of them, was dirt poor and had nothing to offer her and a child. Here she had land, a home, and modest savings but without a man to defend it, she'd be hard pressed to keep it. So she came to Jebediah, a young man who often helped Thomas with odd jobs, with a proposition. There was an understanding between Jebediah and Sarah that she would be his wife in every sense. He would have a wife, land, and a home. For a man who had been wandering from place to place having somewhere to settle with a pretty wife seemed like a good exchange. And for a time it was. Unlike her first husband who barely had a libido, Jebediah was younger than her late husband and in fact younger than Sarah herself. He had quite a sexual appetite and knew his way around the bedroom to be sure but Sarah didn't trust him.

Sarah was taught a lesson with Jebediah. One didn't need to brag or hold a thing over another's head to breed jealousy. Jealousy came with the knowledge that she had something that he did not. He masked it well but Sarah knew better. On more than one occasion, she had noticed him snooping in her trunk. Though he never voiced it, Sarah knew it probably didn't sit well with him to be a man of 31 years and have nothing to show for his life but that which he had acquired only access through his wife but not ownership.

Sarah and Jebediah would be married 4 years when the coughing began. It started off as a bit of tiredness, night sweats and weight loss that Sarah attributed initially to a woman's change of life. Those minor inconveniences morphed into an unrelenting blood tinged cough that left Sarah weak and gasping for every breath. Sarah knew even before the doctor's visit that the news wouldn't be good. She didn't know how long she had but she knew that she must protect her daughter Merida at all costs.

Merida was a pretty young woman, all the prettier because she wasn't aware of it. Where her mother was fair with long golden hair, Merida was dark with an olive complexion like her father's and thick hair that fell in mahogany waves down her back. Her figure was soft and lush. Sarah trusted Jebediah even less now that Merida's womanly figure had emerged, especially now that she could not perform her wifely duties. Sarah's concerns were not born of jealousy. From her bed she would often pretend to be sleeping and she had seen the blatant lust as he watched Merida carry out her chores. Merida was a good girl, a sheltered girl, and quite naive to the workings of the world and the motivations of men. She would not be able to physically stand in the gap for her too much longer, but she would make sure she was prepared.

Living out in the ruggedness of the Frontier, Merida should have been married off more than a year ago but her mother Sarah's illness prevented it. Sarah fell ill in late autumn of 1846. The illness started two years prior with her feeling tired and becoming winded easily. On those days, Merida would bid her to rest while she carried out household chores. In the months that followed Sarah's symptoms worsened. She became racked by an unrelenting, hacking cough which realized their worst fears: Tuberculosis. The cold didn't help. Even with a roaring fire it was difficult to stifle the chill of the cabin. Neither Merida nor Sarah complained. As far as lodgings went they were among the lucky ones. Most families lived in sod homes that could barely withstand the most benign weather conditions let alone the constant fight with mice, snakes, and other critters barely made them better than sleeping outdoors.

Their cabin was a solid wooden structure that consisted of one large room with a kitchen area with a solid oak table and chairs. Sarah and her husband, Jebediah shared a bed located in one corner of the room along with two rocking chairs and a large fire. There were large leather hides on the floor to block the worst drafts. Merida's cot was located upstairs above the kitchen in a tiny loft. There was no room to stand, but it did afford her a modicum of privacy and some heat from the wood burning stove below. Again Merida considered herself lucky. As an only child she had her small space to herself though like others who grew up in these rugged, inhospitable conditions she too knew more of marital goings on than she would care to admit.

Every morning Merida woke up early before the sun could come up in the sky. She was not an early bird as the saying went. She would get up early because her stepfather Jebediah did and with her mother being ill the duties of running a household fell to her. Merida sat up on her cot reaching over to grab her dress to pull over her head; her body was stiff from the cold and lying in a cramped space. She made her way down to the main living area to check on her mother while Jebediah went out to collect water and wood so breakfast could be prepared.

"Merida," Sarah rasped out her name.

"Mama, don't try to talk, Merida answered. It only makes you more tired."

"Listen, I have to tell you this. Go in my chest," Sarah said raggedly pointing to the chest at the foot of her bed. "There is a pouch, find it." Merida followed her mother's instructions and found a modest sized leather pouch hidden under some fancy dresses Sarah no longer wore. Life here did not afford opportunities for dancing and social gatherings amongst the genteel ladies. "Take it. Hide it amongst your things. Every morning add one teaspoon to your tea. When you bleed you may stop. When your courses cease, begin again."

"What is it mama," Merida asked?

"It is to keep you from becoming with child." Sarah would not have believed it worked if she had not depended on the tea during her marriage. Merida was younger and prettier by far. Her womb didn't stand a chance against Jebediah, who was perpetually in rut.

"With child? Mama, I'm a good girl. I know nothing of such things!" Merida exclaimed.

"Good girl or no you will soon find out, Sarah responded with a hacking cough. Jebediah is a man, not good or bad, but a man nonetheless. I cannot do my duty as a wife and winter is coming. He will turn to you for those needs."

"But I'm not pretty like you mama."

"You are quite lovely with a fetching form, but that is neither here nor there child. When a man is in rut the look of a woman matters little. He will have access to you and he will use you as he wishes. This land is treacherous in the best of times, in winter it is certain death. You must endure. Jebediah knows that his claim to this land dies with me and he will use every trick he has to keep you here."

Sarah paused to clutch her handkerchief to her lips. Her hacking cough shook her frail body and the bed she lay upon. Her handkerchief came back covered with blood. She clutched Merida's hand to keep her near. When she had settled and caught her breath she continued. "Your father provided a dowry for you. You have already been promised to Caleb McAllister. When I am gone, Martha will get word to Caleb so his claim can be honored. If you quicken for Jebediah he will not let you go and your betrothal will be nullified. This house and this land are yours but you will need a man to protect it. Caleb has always been sweet on you. He will care for you and protect you. You should have enough tea until spring. When you run low get to Widow Odelia, she will give you more and she can get your letters out to Caleb."

"Mama, I'm scared. I am not ready to be without you," Merida whispered, her head lying on her mother's bony chest.

"And I am not ready to leave you, my sweet girl but you are equipped. Keep your wits about you and whatever you do, drink the tea," Sarah said as she patted her daughter's hand, giving what little comfort she could give.

Sarah would pass away quietly in her sleep four days later. Merida cleaned her mother's body with tears streaming down her cheeks. Jebediah fetched Martha, her mother's dearest friend and closest neighbor to help. He left the women to tend the body of his dead wife while he fetched a preacher to come out from the town nearby. With tears in their eyes she and Martha dressed her Sarah in one of the pretty gowns in her trunk. Merida then brushed Sarah's long golden hair and arranged it with care atop her head. The disease had been cruel. Sarah had been a beautiful woman in life but the ravages of the had wasted her away and left her a shell of her former self. "How much did Sarah tell you, child?" Martha asked, interrupting Merida's thoughts.

"She gave me the tea and told me to take it every morning."

"Dammit, I hate the plight of women!" Martha swore. "Merida, I would take you in myself. I love you like one of my own but we have no room as it is. And I'm afraid with my husband and uncle I would only bring you into more of the same, two untamed beasts trying to rut you at every turn."

"I know Martha. Mama said you will get word to Caleb for me?"

"Yes, I will send a letter for Widow Odelia to give to the postman. The sooner he returns to stake his claim the better."

When Jebediah returned, he lifted Sarah gently in the pine coffin he'd brought from town. Father Winthrop said a prayer then led them in a hymn. Sarah was quietly laid to rest next to her first husband Thomas who had died 7 years before. Martha hugged Merida tightly to her chest, whispering in her ear, before climbing into the wagon with Father Winthrop."Every morning, you hear?"

A fortnight passed before Jebediah came to formally assert himself on his step-daughter, but his looks of lust warned Merida of his intentions long before. Merida would ignore those looks, turning away and refusing to meet his lecherous stares but soon looks were not enough. While Merida stood clearing away the dishes from their evening meal it was then that Jebediah came up behind her, filling his hands with her bottom.

"Jebediah, stop this. It is improper and I am promised to another."

"Indeed you are, but have you seen Caleb McAllister around these parts? No you haven't. I don't plan to fight you to assert my rights. I'll just apprise you of your situation. You are under my roof my dear and you use and enjoy the amenities I provide. There is not a single kindly neighbor around for nearly a mile and even if there was, do you think they have room for another mouth to feed in the dead of winter? Do you think the man of the house wouldn't have the same expectations that you earn your keep as I? Now like I said I won't fight you. I like a woman soft and willing," Jebediah said as he pressed his body to her back. "In time you might come to enjoy my attention just as your mother once did. Now take off that gown and bloomers and let me see you."

"No, I won't!" Merida exclaimed filled with disgust. Though she had never felt a paternal bond with Jebediah, he was indeed her stepfather. She had no desire to know him in the biblical sense. Anger flashed across Jebediahs' usually handsome face at her refusal.

"Okay girl, have it your way," he said as he grabbed her by the arm. She tried to resist him but he pulled her bodily. At first Merida thought he intended that she would go to his bed but she realized quickly that Jebidiah intended to throw her outside into the snow.

"Please don't do this, Merida screamed. Jebediah please!" He was deaf to her pleas. He dragged her to the door pushing her out into certain death. The wind howled and cut through the thin shift Merida wore. She tried to run back to the door, tried to throw herself bodily at him but it was all for naught. The door slammed solidly in her face.

*****************************

Jebedia could hear Merida pounding on the door but he chose to ignore her. He didn't want to kill the girl or be responsible for her death when there are other more agreeable options that could be executed. Sarah was dead. Jebediah was still trying to wrap his mind around that fact. Theirs was no love match. They had got on well and the marriage was more of a business arrangement than anything else but honestly is that not what a marriage really was at its core?

Sarah had moved with her husband and daughter like most of the residents in Goodwill, Montana as a Homesteader or a gold prospector. Her husband Thomas had some luck early on and found enough gold to fare better than most had though he wasn't wealthy by any means. Jebediah hadn't had any luck striking it rich in the mines. Thomas was an older man so he hired Jebediah to work helping him build and make this place livable for his family. Thomas died unexpectedly of a stroke and left Sarah and the child to fend for themselves. Sarah had no family to speak of left in Philadelphia so she decided to stay put, but quickly found that this was no place for a woman and a child to stay without the protection of a husband.

Sarah came to Jebediah with a proposition of marriage and he readily agreed. First because he was tired of drifting from place to place. Jebediah was 31 years old. He wasn't getting any younger and Sarah, though older, was as fine a woman as any he'd run across. A marriage to her was advantageous as long as she was alive. Jebediah had never entertained the idea that she would get sick and die, leaving him right back where he'd started, without a pot to piss in nor a window to throw it out.

By right, everything here belonged to the girl. Now, if he were an evil man the girl could meet with an unfortunate accident, but he had never had much of a taste for violence especially when there are other ways of winning an impressionable girl over to seeing things his way. Plus the girl had filled out nicely, he thought. Why should he turn her over to Caleb who was nothing more than a stranger? No, he had other plans for her. If he had his way by the time Caleb came to claim his bride, Jebediah would have planted a baby in her belly then his problems would be solved and he would have a hell of a good time getting the job done.

Outside, the cold air tore at Merida relentlessly. Her feet screamed in the frozen snow. She beat on the door, throwing her body against it, pleading to be let back inside. Merida ran around the house, looking for any type of shelter. The snow was falling in earnest and she could barely see two feet in front of her. She could make it to the barn but what would she do for warmth? What would she do for food? Merida realized she had little choice left as she beat against the pane of the window. Inside, Jebediah sat by the fire, seemingly oblivious to her plight just outside the window.

"Please," Merida screamed, not sure if Jebediah could hear her with the sound of the wind. Desperately she made her way back to the door. Merida banged and begged, her tears freezing before they could fall down her cheeks. Merida's toes were numb and she had been out here all of ten minutes. She threw herself against the door, panic setting in at the direness of her situation and how little she could do to prevent her fate. If she died, Merida thought, all Jebediah had to say was she wandered outside in the snow, the grief of her mother's death too much to bear. And who would question him? Sarah was right when she said Merida must endure. As if he heard Merida's resolve, Jebediah stepped out the door, letting a taste of the inviting warmth slip out from behind him.

Merida begged with no shame, "Please let me in. I will do as you ask. Please."

"Come, warm yourself, '' Jebediah said with such benevolence as if he hadn't just threatened Merida's life. Jebediah sat back in his chair and picked up his book as Merida stood warming herself. She didn't realize that the backdrop of the fire illuminated the diaphanous nature of her nightgown perfectly for Jebediah's hungry gaze.

"Come here," he said, his voice unusually husky.

Merida came forward not nearly warm enough but understanding the consequences of disobedience.

"Take off your shift."

Head bowed with tears falling, Merida did as her stepfather asked.

"There is no need for tears, " Jebediah said gently. I meant what I said. I will not fight you. I will not hurt you. You may resist me for a moment, but soon you will crave my touch just as your mother once did," he said as he rested his hand against the flare of her hip. Merida looked away as Jebediah's other hand touched her nipple already puckered against the chill air. Jebediah pinched the nubbin firmly while simultaneously kneading the voluminous globes. His touch, wondrous and warm, caused her to release an involuntary moan. Merida could feel her center begin to pulse strangely as if there were a tiny heartbeat there that she knew nothing of. Jebediah pulled Merida forward and placed a kiss upon her woman's mound.