All Comments on 'Spoiled Revenge'

Damn that was awful. So depressing...

The cunt wife divorced him out of the blue, so the husband:

1) starts drinking

2) is forgotten by his daughter

3) becomes celibate

4) gets his foot burned off

5) has his face melted

6) is so lonely he befriends the asshole that fucked his wife

7) dies from the aftermath of smoke inhalation

Do you hate firemen or something?

Ok that was a nice little story on revenge shame that he will die in the end pity that cheating wife didn’t get caught up in that fire but hey still nice little story

I'm not buying Art being a good man. A good man doesn't poach another man's family. What Jennifer stated as the cause of the divorce wasn't the reason, but the excuse. Bitch is definitely fucked up!

Good story! Didn't much like the ending though.

Firemen don’t carry oxygen into a fire. It’s air. Oxygen tanks would be explosive.

I like your stories, but I think that in this one you tried to write a story MM's style with some differences...Even his daughter (like in all MM's stories) decided to let him go...The big difference is the wife: in MM's stories the wives are whores with some shitty morals...This wife was a whore with no morals or remorse at all...3*

sad ending.

Farcical, awkward, and shallow. There's no emotion and no context. No character raises his/her voice or whispers. No one walks anywhere, they don't make gestures, their faces have no expression.

The story, such as it was, limped along from one awkwardly phrased paragraph to the next, and then it thankfully ended.

Very sad. This writer needs to put more work into writing.

Interesting story, void of unnecessary words. Wife was a sick bitch and she burned anyone who got in her path.

Answer: A complete waste of time!!!

If he did not have oxygen he would have passed out. If he was burned like that he could not have left the building at all. The caricature of a person the wife is written as is only someone to hate. 1 star

The only thing worse than what that bitch did would be having sex with a pornstar while your third wife is recovering from giving birth to your child.

What a bitch!

My advice.

...on the wife or her boyfriend. Could never befriend the guy who cheated with my wife. Also can't help to think he would be fired or disciplined for punching the chief. Anyway, good writing, and I like your stories. 4 stars. Thanx!

Loklie

good story, definitely sad though. His wife was just looking for a reason to leave and once she started looking she found it. The thing that bothers me the most is you said she had remarried and had another child only to divorce again, so now there is another child to be mistreated by a selfish bitch. Like I said so sad on many levels.

Skip, you went away from your usual style to write a very good story. Jennifer is a total bitch who actually dumps the hero, the asshole, and an unknown man in her search for her unicorn. Art may not be a good man, but after Bitch saved his daughter, and the bitch dumped him too, he's trying to redeem himself. Story is very depressing, but I enjoyed it. The only thing that I would change would be a fire for Jennifer and Art save someone else.

Very reminiscence of HDK. So many turns the story was impossible to predict. Very creative. The friendship of the two jilted men and the fire theme makes Skippy47 a storyteller to be reckoned with. Five big easy stars! * * * * *

Hot as Sun

byHarddaysknight

HDK wrote a better story and much more factual.

so the good man dies or is dying. Only after turning to the asshole that cuckold him for help. And some how you call it revenge. The only person that has a half way good life was Jennifer. She keeps catching and releasing men back in to the sea.

He does say, in the beginning, “Truth is stranger than fiction.”

weird score, i enjoyed it. Epilogues are for lazy writers btw, so annoying

There was a police officer who was like a father figure to me for a time when I was growing up. I was 8y.o. and my father was in Nam. At that age a year is practically a lifetime. So I gravitated to this neighbor who who was at home during the day all week (he worked the nightshift at the airport). He built flying model airplanes, and a lot of the boys in the neighborhood gravitated towards his house. He lkked us boys because he had 5 daughters and no sons.

Years later I found out his wife was in fact his second wife. His first wife divorced him. Why? In the mid-1960s (let’s call him Bob) Bob was a motorcycle cop on a high speed chase of bank robbers. A little ol’ lady pulled an illegal U-turn right in front of him. He slid ~100ft after impact. Bob was in the hospital for many many months then rehab for a year. All this time his wife stuck by him. She divorced him when he insisted going back on duty... as a motorcycle cop. Imagine how bad it is for cops’ wives just being cops’ wives. Then hubby is also on a motorcycle. Then the worst happens. Now he wants to go BACK to that super dangerous duty... voluntarily? Putting her through that hell again?

Jennifer divorces a man because he has a dangerous job that ALSO steals his time away from the family, and marries a man with a safe and regular job. Now THAT man decides to take the same job the first husband had. “Nu-uh. Been there. Done that. Have the T-shirt. C-ya.”

How many wives (it’s usually wives, but husbands sometimes too) marry someone thinking love will get them through everything, like 72hr shifts and worry over dangerous jobs, or 14month deployments and worry over dangerous jobs? Or 2-3months away working hyper dangerous jobs. Spouses may have trouble with spouses working in the medical field with weird hospital hours — month after month year after year.

New love, especially young new love, feel that all this can be overcome. But reality usually has a much different thing to say.

So Jennifer leaving, after Arturo decides on becoming a fireman, is not necessarily so surprising, nor necessarily because she is an unfeeling bitch.

Just for the curious the daughters still leave flowers on his grave. The man that the character "Butch" was based on left a lasting impression many people, including myself.

Please, "skin graphs", really?

Bitch left by herself...GOOD!!! Not a bad ending.

bless first responders, military and all who have to works odd shifts but woman will find a reason and way to cheat if so inclined.

No way he moved in with the asshole who cuckold him.

Many times real life is stranger than fiction. Good story.

So Jennifer gets away with ruining two marriages,can't be right.

After Jennifer left and abandoned Virginia, she was still under 18 years old so Butch would have have parental control. Butch never gave up his parental rights for Virginia. So Arturo had no parental rights associated with Virginia. So State Social Workers would have moved Virginia to Butch’s care.

Reading again, one of Skip's better stories, a bit different from his norm.

I thank you for your story. As a long time reader I appreciate the time and effort that you invest!!

somewhere east of Omaha

being a now retired firefighter, thank you. having a home life is tough. over the years, i had noticed that people who are married before becoming a firefighter, have a better chance of divorcing, than those who marry after. and when it comes to children, it is usually all or nothing to try and save them. as i was reading, i was having flashes of memory. thank you.

If he had damaged lungs and an esophagus,I doubt he would have lived long enough to see the girls graduate.

I liked the story, especially as it was different from others.

Strong emotional story, well written and a job very well done and told. Thank you.

WOW! Touching story. Made me sad. That's the way it is with real Hero's, like my Dad, would never, ever mention one thing about being special. Thanks for the story! 25 stars.

Arturo became involved with a married woman knowing she had a young child. Good men don't do that - notwithstanding the author's attempts to rehabilitate the character. Art would never have been trusted by the firemen who knew how he deeply he had disrespected their now disabled colleague. His tenure as a firefighter would have been brief and likely would have ended in the early death he so richly deserved.

Too much pai, especially the very end.

Lotsa food for thought. LP

Surprise surprise. Family shit on him and all is well at the end. Disney bullshit eat your heart out.

How many more cliches could you have fitted into this pile of excrecement?

I like a cheerful protagonist. Well done!

5. Or maybe a 6 if you could find someone to help with your endings. The good ones are often not what they could be.

Heck of a price to pay for revenge.

Stranger than fiction. And amazed at commenters who say all is well at the end. The MC has six months to live...

Great

That was actually quite good. I see some didn't like it, but there are those who want to read the same formulaic story over and over. It's hard to imagine the other man as a decent guy, but you made it about as credible as it could be. Good job!

5 stars for the subject matter alone - firefighters - people who work in jobs that place themselves in dangerous situations every day - the rest of the story sucked.

I really liked this story. It's also a fairly new idea, I enjoyed it. Im so sad the MC only had months to live at the end. He was a good man. A hero.

Close to what @Just_Words said: This is the only story I've ever read where the man who stole the MC's wife is actually a mostly decent guy.

A good story but…

It is gratifying to see our first responders front and center.

A bit annoying to see some of the basic rules that get hammered in training ignored.

Yes, I know this is fiction, but if you’re going use first responders as your MC, at least get the basics down.

A big mystery - the Fire chief is on scene, bunkered up, and yet no hose reams deployed or other fire fighter TEAMs are there, ready to deploy? Really? Just so that a single EMT with non current training can sucker punch the trained Chief, steel his gear, etc to be a suicide/HERO!?? Single exit building/no fire exits ? Of course he couldn’t know, he was too busy playing Hero. Fire entry teams are teams for a reason because a lone “hero” can easily become another victim. When things go really bad that is why it is seldom a single fire fighter is at risk unless something happened to isolate that person from the rest of his team.

For that matter how much good was his EMT rig going to do since he broke the cardinal rule of medical first responders - don’t be the next victim. And it isn’t clear in the story but wher the f*** is his partner? A full EMT rig would have two onboard and they’d be switching off between driving and providing care (assuming both had the same level of certification). I don’t think either the EMT service or Fire Service thought much of his antics, but it made good press for the ignorant, so they weren’t going to go public with how he made it more dangerous and prevented the safe entry of the team that could have extracted everyone WITHOUT suffering disabling injuries of the true heroes.

Frankly the insurance companies don’t care how heroic he was (in his own mind), the probability is they would use his actions as reason to limit/deny coverage. Sorry (sort of) for going off a bit, but this is more made for TV hero BS that does a real disservice to the real Fire and Medical First Responders

Four stars, pushing five. The story was well done, even though rushed in places. From a former volunteer firefighter an d the first EMT in our area.

JPB

Don't understand his hatred of Art.Okay he married Jennifer but dont forget he had a daughter who needed a mother and Jennifer used him as a way out of her marriage.