Star Treatment Ch. 01

I'm an Actor. Well, ok, I'm what's called a Background Actor. You know? One of those nondescript 'extras' you see in TV and Movies? It's not going to make me a star, or even provide much of an income, but it makes me feel like I'm an Actor just to be on a Set, even if it's on the lowest end of the totem pole in the profession.

And, oh, I'm also a Character Actor. Meaning that I'm not likely to be getting a lot of work because I don't have The Look for being a Cop or in the Military. Those people always have work. They're in high demand. Me? I'm relegated to 'Period" pieces, where my scruffy look plays in to the role. Meaning, I don't get a lot of work.

But every day on a Set is a reminder of why I moved here in the first place. And yes, I do go on Auditions, but once again, I'm not going to be exactly playing a Lead Role anytime soon. Except for male in an Independent Film.

So. I show up at whatever time they need me to show up, however early or late that is (yes, there are overnight Night shoots), and then go through the ye olde Hollywood "Hurry Up and Wait" routine, and largely... sit around. Until of course, they needed us "like, ten minutes ago." Especially if it's a "Cattle Call." That's where they have 100+ Background to wrangle On Set.

So that's my 'day of glamour' life on a set. Hollywood is a business, first and foremost. We Peons are there merely to "fill in the Scene," do whatever they want us to do, and then at the end of a very long day... leave.

Many of those who are in my position come to Hollywood thinking that they are going to get on a Set, get discovered, and then be "on their Way Up." But I'm afraid that it doesn't happen that way.

We are also told before we get on a Set, that we are under strict orders to Not interact with anyone, unless they request or have a question for us. We are the bottom rung dwellers, and are not even supposed to interact with anyone on the upper levels.

Especially not with the (real) Actors -- the ones that you know about. The Ones who are already a "Name." The Principals.the Leads. It's hard to be an integral part of a production (Background are the people that make a scene "come alive" on screen), yet not be considered to be really 'important.' Trying to talk to one of the "real" Actors, is cause to get your fired, and then blacklisted from working any future productions.

Even when the Leads walk up and start talking to you (and yes, that has happened to me) we're really not supposed to talk to them. Even if they are the one to want to talk. You can get to the point where even talking to them if they're wanting to talk, can get you in trouble. It's walking a fine, razors edge.

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Today, I'm on one of the Romantic Comedies set in a Big City (Los Angeles, although it's supposed to be "Every City"). There are some Big Names that are acting in this one. Big Names that you would know, but I can't talk about it (yet another Rule that must be Obeyed, or Else).

In this case, one of the Leads is a bigger Actress, who was once much bigger but is now lucky to get on a Film these days. An A-Lister, who is now slowly slipping into a B-Lister. And she tends to be one of those Actors who likes to wander the Set and the 'GreenRoom' for Background, and talk to those of us that are not (and many will Neve be) "Stars!"

I think it's nice for them to do this, especially after they have been a Big Name. It makes us lowly Background feel that we are something worth while knowing and talking to.

But I look over at her as she's talking to other Background, and casually give her a longer look than I should. Even though she's wanting to talk to the Lowliest of the Low.

I turn back around, trying to manage my own business, and when I look around again, she's gone. Letting out a sigh, I look forward to going home once they've released us for the day.

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I'm in the checkout line, waiting to get my Voucher for the day signed, when one of the Second Seconds (Assistant Directors) walks up to me, and taps me on the shoulder saying, "Gary Nivens?"

"Yes," I gulped.

"Come with me, please."

Holy shit! Did I do something wrong earlier that I totally spaced on? Did I trip on one of the (numerous) cables running everywhere? Is this my last day on a Set?

I don't say anything, but I just follow behind him. He leads me deep into the forest of Trailers for all of the various Departments, and we keep going.

Holy shit, indeed! Where the fuck is he talking me? Some back entrance to quietly walk me out without a fuss?

And then they tell me, "Wait here."

I''m in the section of Camp where the Trailers of the Most High reside. I'm in the section of Trailers that contain the Star Trailers. Where the Stars stay in between Takes.

I wait for the AD to come back and give me the verdict, but I see them disappear into the Trailer with the Star's Name on the door. The very Star that I looked at before when she came to talk to the Peons earlier in the Craft (Food) Services area.

Did she see me staring, and want to reprimand me for it? Talk about quaking in your boots. But I haven't been escorted off the property yet, so I'm wondering--

The Second Second comes out of the Trailer, and then waves in my direction. Oh, kay, I thought. What's up with this? Did I mention the "Holiest of the Holies" before? This was like walking into the home away from home from their Hollywood Hills Mansion. We lowly folks are not even supposed to Think about treading here. But here I was.

I'm still standing where I was, frozen in a state of shock that he's even waving me in. What did I do wrong?

When he saw me not moving, he called my name and waved me towards him again. After doing the "Who Me?" gesture, he looks like he's about to go back in.

When She comes out. Karen Denning. The still not looking bad for her age, Karen Denning.

And she's walking in my direction. A moment later, she's standing right in front of me. "It's ok. I asked them to come and get you," she said quietly. Reaching out her hand towards me, I gulp, and then walk in her direction.

She turns, thanks the Second Second at her door, and he leaves to go back to finish whatever he needs to do to finish off his day. He walks by me and shakes his head, as if I did something wrong.

So I walk towards Karen's Trailer. She stands just inside the door and looks at me and smiles. She Smiles. At me. Ooh-kay.

Reaching the steps of her Trailer, I softly make my way up the steps, and then step aside... Her Trailer. And I'm still freaked. What does she want from me?

"You can close the door, you know. I won't bite you. At least, not hard," she says, and then giggles. She giggles. I let out a sigh of relief. I'm not in trouble. (Just yet.)

"I know it's not very large," she tells me, sitting at the table at the front. Giving me another unfathomable look, "You can also sit, you know. Don't have to stand there looking like your life is over."

So I very carefully sit down. Across the table from her. Across the table from this formerly mega-Star.

This time, she smirks at me. "What did you think was going to happen? That I was going to 'disappear' you, never to see your friends and family again?"

I hesitated to say anything, so she looked at me again with a smile growing on her face, and asks, "Are you not able to speak? Is that why you're still working Background?"

"I''m sorry, Ms. Denning. But we have the rule drilled into us that we're not supposed to speak with... you know. Stars."

At this, she breaks out in a very throaty, loud and piercing laugh. "Oh. Is that all?"

"Ummm. Yes m'am." And then she did something else that scared the shit out of me. She reached across the table with her hands out, palms up. Like she was expecting me to hold hands with her. Bizarre, and then still... bizarre.

"Are you going to read my future?" I found myself saying out of nowhere.

And then she laughed again. The rich contralto booming laugh.

Smiling now, like she was going to eat me... She tilted her head down and looked at me through her eyelashes. "You have a bright future, Mr. Collins. As long as you ... loosen up!"

It was now her turn to sigh. "What did you think they were bringing you here to do to you? Hmmm? Put you up against a wall and shoot you?"

Was she flirting with me? Really? Some No One that was a mere mortal?

She drew her hands back and reached over to a glass that was sitting next to her on the table, and then took a long sip.

Leaning back in towards me, she took on a mischievous smile and asked me, "Can you keep a secret?"

I was beginning to be able to take a breath at this. She was seeming too playful to be putting my life in danger.

"Yes," I croaked. And then took a loud gulp.

"I invited you here... because I liked what I saw. You weren't like the other Background that I was talking to. You didn't rush up to try and talk to me. You didn't back away in awe by merely being in my presence. I liked that."

Ohhhh, kay. Where was this going to?

"Like I said, Ms. Denning--"

Interrupting me, she said. "Call me Karen."

Clearing my throat, I said, "I'm sorry... Karen. I just... I mean... You're a Star. And I'm just... a nobody."

"Would you like to be a Somebody?" she asked, all of a sudden with an intensity that I'd only seen up on the Silver Screen.

"Wellll..." I worked to clear my throat again, barely stopping myself from hemming and hawing. Suddenly, my voice began getting stronger. "It hasn't happened yet."

"Maybe it has," she just about purred. Leaving my jaw hanging somewhat open.

"Look. I know that, yes, I'm a big star. I've worked my way up from where you are now, in order to become that Big Star. I know what it takes. But that's not why you're here."

"Ok."

Showing me a little bit of vulnerability, "I saw something in you that I liked. And yes, before you say it, I am a little too old for you.

"Um, Karen. You mean that... you're interested in me? A Nobody like me?"

"Do you know what it's like getting old in this Town? Of course you don't. How old are you Gary?"

"Um, I'm thirty two."

"And how long have you been trying to be an actor?"

"Too long. I should have gotten at least a minor role by now." Now it was my turn to be vulnerable.

"And do you know how old I am?" she asked. I knew, but I didn't want to say.

"I'm fifty-five. By the time I was your age, I was already on the marquees. But it took a lot of pain and work to get there. A lot of time that I spent with people that I did not like. But that was just what you did back then. When I was bankable... and fuckable. I slept with all the 'right' producers, and casting agents... and even a studio head here and there. But I wasn't happy."

"But..." I began incredulously, "You were a star." Shaking my head to clear it, I rephrased that into, "You are a Star. You're one of the biggest names in the business."

She just took on a sour look and said, "I was a star. Now I'm just a name, as in, 'Oh whatever happened to Karen Denning?' I got this role because my agent was owed a favor. Not because I really killed it at my audition, Gary. I was given this role as a favor.

"And do you know why?"

"Um, no. I'm sorry Karen."

"So they had a Name to add to their funding deal, to lock it in. Not because I'm still a headliner. I'm no longer a Star, according to most of Hollywood. I'm just a has been. A 'used to be.' "

I couldn't believe it. Here was a Star that I grew up with, and here she is pouring out her heart to me. Me. A low level Nobody.

I reached out to take hold of her hands, which were now acting more like crippled leaves in front of her rather than the hands of a Somebody.

When she looked up again, she had tears in her eyes. I felt them drop from her face, and land on my outstretched hands holding hers. I almost took my hands back, hearing the admonitions of the Agency about having close contact with Stars.

And then I did a really crazy thing. I got up and walked over to her side of the table, and sat down next to her. And then I put my arm around her shoulder, and let her crumple into mine.

After a long moment, she reached up with her left hand, and put it around the right side of my face, and then... She kissed me tenderly on my left cheek. Not just a peck, but a warm and grateful kiss.

I turned more into her, and cradled her head further into my neck and shoulder.

Part of me screamed, 'Get out now! You're not supposed to Do THIS!'

And another part of me turned her to kiss her. First on her forehead, and then as she raised her head to look at me, on her lips. And she began kissing me back! Holy Shit!

After a few more minutes of kissing the Star, she smiled a hurt but hopeful smile at me, and said, "I knew you'd be the one to show myself to when I saw you earlier. Can you just hold me for a few minutes? I mean, can you lay down with me and comfort me?"

She wants me... to lay down with her. Lay down with this Star. "But... Aren't I going to get into trouble? Aren't I going to get you into trouble?"

She smiled in a sweet but still vulnerable way, and said, "I already told Kelly that I wan't to be disturbed. We can be here all night long, and nobody is going to say anything to me."

All night long? Did I just hear her right? "Karen..."

Straightening up and looking at me with a sudden strange look, "I'm sorry. Do you have a girlfriend or someone else to go home to?"

"No," I rasped, hanging my head down in shame. "No one."

She brightened up again, got a crooked smile on her face, and said, "Good. I also let Background Associates know that you weren't needed for tomorrow."

"Ummmm," I started to say, but she cut me off.

"It's alright. If you stay with me, I'll make sure your money situation is taken care of. You don't have to worry about loosing money over me."

"That's not what I meant," wishing that I hadn't said anything like that. I mean, here was a Star, telling me that she wanted to spend the night with me. And I was worried about a measly day's worth of minimum wage background pay? "I'm sorry, Karen. I'm here for whatever you want or need me for.

I stood up and let her out of the tight bench space of the table, and she grabbed my hand and began walking us back to the 'bedroom' area of the trailer. 'My God,' I found myself screaming inside. I'm about to lay down with a former major star. As in, lay down and cuddle with her. Boy this was way out of my experience.

She crawled into the bed area, and patted the mattress next to her. "Hold me. Please?"

I moved myself gently onto the bed, and lay down beside her, taking her into my arms and wrapping them around her. She quickly snuggled in close, and began softly crying.

"It's so hard to find someone real in this town," she whispered to me, turning over so that she could move into my chest. I pulled her closer and spooned her, as she continued to cry. I kissed her neck, and then her ear. She began making mewling noises to let me know that she felt held safe and warm.

We fell asleep together like this.

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When we woke up, it was still dark outside. But we began hearing sounds of activity around the trailer.

"Hmmmm," she whispered. "That was nice. And you didn't try anything when I was vulnerable."

"No. But I shouldn't be here," I said as I began to back away from her. "What if someone found us like this?"

She just turned to be and with a big smile on her face, told me, "You really don't understand, do you? I'm the Talent. I can do whatever the fuck I want to do, just as long as I make it to wardrobe and hair and makeup for the day. But yes, we should get up. I need to 'report in,' as it were.

"On, and by the way? You're my new personal assistant. I just thought I should let you know."

"Personal..." I breathed in. "But don't you already have a personal assistant? Someone who already works for you?"

"Well, I should have a cover, if anyone should ask who the new boytoy is. Don't you think?"

Boy toy. Me? "Does that mean that I'm in a relationship with you?" I asked her with a squeak in my voice.

She turned over completely, and gave me a soft kiss on my mouth. "Well. We'll have to see. Won't we? One day at a time?"

I got off the bed, and helped her to stand up, as she said, "Time to un-rumple myself, and make myself presentable to the world."