Star Trek Enterprise Bk. 04 - Family Ch. 03

Picard tossed a travel bag onto his bed and began to pack. The entire trip would only take a couple of days at best so he didn't need much. He still didn't know if Geordi would allow him to visit and walk through the Enterprise NX-01, but he was still hopeful. Surely he would do it even if it was simply to humor an old man and his former captain. It wouldn't be the same as actually seeing her and talking to her, of course, but it would have to do. None of it would ever answer the seemingly unanswerable question. Was she still angry with him?

There were a thousand things he regretted in his life, but lashing out that afternoon while visiting Danaë at the academy was at the top of the list. He had never raised a hand to her during her entire childhood, but the scars left by the Borg (both emotional and physical) ran much deeper than he ever liked to admit, even to himself. When Danaë had pointed her finger at him and brought up the destruction he had caused as Locutus, he had acted on impulse and slapped her. It wasn't really her he had been trying to strike at really, but the memory of his actions, the guilt and pain of it all. That look of shock on her face forever etched in his memory was the last image he carried of her.

Recalling that shocked look made him pause in his packing. Perhaps it was best that they never met face to face again. The disappointment he would feel if indeed she still held resentment towards him, might be too much to bear. Not that it wasn't already. He quickly pushed the thought aside as he tossed another shirt into his bag. How many was that? Three? He probably didn't need that many, after-all, Archer IV wasn't that far away. Archer IV... Archer... Jonathan Archer... his son-in-law... the very thought made him laugh. When he would sit and imagine what sort of future his only child would have, he never imagined that one. Given her... hard-headed nature, Picard wasn't sure if such a union warranted congratulations or deepest sympathies.

Of course it wasn't just Danaë he would be visiting, but Jonathan Archer as well. They were buried side by side. At least at one time they were. There were rumors that his body had been moved to a vault beneath Starfleet Headquarters and for those conspiracy theorists there were claims he had never actually died. Picard preferred to think the two were buried together. It was a much nicer picture. Q had shown him what would become of her and he had looked up her name and learned at least a few things. He knew she was married to Archer and had children. He knew she would live long enough to become First Lady of the Federation of Planets, but that was only because he knew what date Jonathan Archer had served and what year she had died. He had tried in vain to find more records but at every turn he found nothing. It was as if someone had deliberately erased nearly all traces of her. On his grandsons there seemed to be an endless record, but not her and it saddened him.

Picard had transmitted the few files he had on Danaë to William Riker when he asked him to take him on this trip. To his former First Officer the limited nature of the files read as fabrication and he firmly believed someone was taking advantage of a sick old man. He had never known exactly what had come between father and daughter, but had been aware of the pain it had caused his friend and former captain. On those rare occasions when her name came up he couldn't help but feel pity for Jean-Luc especially after becoming a father himself. While he didn't doubt her ability or intelligence, he couldn't help but believe that she had died somewhere in her wanderings or ran off to another planet. It would easily account for her disappearance. Time-traveling to the past? Married to THE Jonathan Archer? He might have believed the time travel idea, he himself had passed back and forth through time, but the rest was too fantastic. Still, he would take his old friend to Archer IV and when he saw the stone marker with someone else's name, he would do his best to help him pick up the shattered pieces of his delusion. What else could he do?

Flying through space on the Federation cruiser 'The Ueman', the two old friends talked endlessly for the whole of the trip. They reminisced about old times, old adventures and close calls. They discussed meeting Zefram Cochran and defeating the Borg. They touched on their regrets regarding what happened to the Romulans and the help they should have received. This topic left a shadow over the two men that prematurely ended their fourth, 3-dimensional chess game, Although Picard was winning, again. Hoping to lighten the mood they got a bite to eat and moved on to a less stressful game, five card stud. Before they knew it Riker had won all the chips, their glasses were empty and they were orbiting Archer IV.

This was the moment he had been waiting for so why was Picard nervous? She's not there, it's just her mortal husk, he thought to himself as he put his black coat over his dark gray turtleneck shirt. She won't even know you are there, he silently told himself as he put his tween cap on his head. Straightening his sleeves he took a breath then suddenly noticed a face behind him in the mirror. Instantly he turned around to see that the reflection was true and Q was standing with a smug smile behind him. This was the last thing he needed today and his jaw immediately became set at the sight.

"What do you want, Q?"

"Always so suspicious. No warm greeting for an old friend?"

"I know you Q, you never appear without an ulterior motive," Picard quickly pointed out.

"You wound me! Can I not simply come and wish you a happy birthday?" For a moment Q almost sounded sincere when he said this, but the old captain knew better than to trust anything this creature said. Somewhere there was a test of some sort lurking about. There always was. As it was, he had completely forgotten it was his birthday. At ninety-four they hardly mattered any more. Birthdays were a day just like any other day and age was simply a number.

"Fine, you have wished me a happy birthday, now let me visit my daughter in peace." he said, hoping against hope that this request would persuade the omnipotent trickster to think better of whatever scheme he had. "Danaë's grave is all that remains of my family line. Leave me alone to grieve for her in peace." Q only smiled at this. No, the Picard line had not ended, but it was not for him to reveal that, someone else needed to and someday they would. Right now he had a different game to play.

"Do you really miss her so much? How many years did you two spend fighting? How many more did you spend separated without even a word exchanged?"

"Too many, which is why I am here now. I want to make amends the only way I can." He picked up a small bouquet of flowers from the table near him. He had carefully chosen pink carnations for remembrance, purple hyacinth for sorrow, calla lily for beauty and a soft sprinkling of baby's breath for everlasting love. With a snap of Q's finger the flowers changed into a mass of orange butterfly weed that Picard instantly dropped to the ground. These flowers meant 'let me go' and he knew it.

"I think these would be more appropriate, don't you?"

"If you are inferring that this journey is a fool's errand and I should simply let my daughter go, you're wrong. Danaë is my child, I cannot let her go, nor should I. This is her home and where she belongs. If I could I would bring her back to this time so she could finally take her place in it." He said these words out of emotion rather than thought and they no sooner escaped and he saw an ominous twinkle in Q's eyes. He should know better and did know better than to make such statements in front of this infernal being, but his feelings had gotten carried away. Perhaps he could fix this. "Q, this argument is pointless. Danaë is dead. She's been dead for centuries. Just let her rest. Please, just let us all rest."

"I believe you humans like to give presents on birthdays. I could give you any number of things, from wisdom to power, but I fear your inferior mind would never fully appreciate them or use them wisely. I think something else is called for."

"Keep your gift Q and leave me to my retirement." Unwilling to continue this diatribe with Q any longer, he left his quarters and headed to the lift where Will Riker was to meet him. Q watched him leave, that twinkle still glittering in his eye. Yes, the dead should be left to their rest, but one could always have fun with the living. Perhaps Picard did not want a birthday gift, but he had one for his old friend just the same.