Stay Lady Stay

He surprised Sarah when he blurted out, "Great! Let's go pick them up, then head back here and we'll get a pizza. I don't know a lot about kids but I know they'd survive on pizza if they could." said Jude again chuckling to himself.

He grabbed his coat and hat. "That Nor'easter will be here soon. The temperature is plummeting by the minute. We've got to keep you warm." After calling for an Uber, Jude helped Sarah into her winter gear and they both headed out of Jude's Cambridge apartment.

Sarah and Jude caught the Uber and picked up Matt and Paddy, at Abraham Lincoln Elementary school (grades K-8). The boys saw their mother and headed over. "Mike, Paddy this is Mr..." Sarah paused and realized she was ashamed that she didn't know Jude's last name. It didn't matter to her, she just liked Jude. He made her feel safe. Perhaps, she was even growing to love him.

"Boys," he offered with a big smile, "call me Jude."

"Hi, Mom. Hi, Jude!" said Matt and Paddy in unison. They were used to an unconventional lifestyle since their father had left their Mom to seek greener pastures elsewhere. He'd had needed a 'dame' who wouldn't quit, a very sexual woman who was willing to go off on adventures and explore the Instagram-lifestyle world he imagined in his addled brain.

Sarah knew the reality of the situation. Someone had to stay in Boston. Someone had to look after the boys. Sarah knew that had to be her since he was so irresponsible. Matt and Paddy trusted their mother very much. They didn't know about the begging or the plethora of struggles their mother faced trying to improve their lives but they knew she was a lioness, a Valkyrie who would do anything for them because they knew and trusted Sarah's mother-love for her boys!

Matt, the older, swore that one day he would be a billionaire and he would buy her the biggest house on Martha's Vineyard. She was his Mom and he loved her. Sarah thought his dream was hilarious for the impossibility of it. She would have settled for enough to eat and any permanent home for her and her boys.

"Well, we'll all be staying at Jude's for a while. Pizza is what's for dinner! Now what kind do you boys want?" questioned Sarah merrily, trying to make the best of a bad situation. She was a fierce Freya...a Lakshmi watching over and protecting her children.

"Pepperoni!" cried Matt and Paddy in unison.

"Not veggies?" teased Jude who knew that children had despised vegetables since time memorable.

"Yuck and gross!" complained Matt and Paddy simultaneously.

Ten minutes later, Matt found himself packing an overnight bag, getting ready to stay at a stranger's house The Uber had briefly stopped at their small Roxbury Triple Decker to pick up basic needs such as toothbrushes and a change of clothes.

Six-year-old Patrick, 'Paddy', was a bit scared when Jude picked him up from school. He barely remembered his biological father who had left when he was only two. Paddy got birthday and Christmas presents from his Dad. Actually, they were picked out and signed by Sarah. Deceitful, but it was a comforting little deceit so they would feel more loved.

Jude helped Paddy into his winter gear and got him buckled in the car. Jude asked Paddy about his day, his friends, and his teachers. Paddy cautiously answered his questions. He'd never had a male adult care about his life before.

The sky outside Matt's window was changing from a deep midnight black to a cold steely gray and then light pink mingled with liquid gold. Matt could hardly believe he had a new home with his Mom, brother, baby sister, and whomever Jude was to him.

The clouds thickened overhead. The wind and rain sounded louder than ever against the sky. Winter lightning flashed. Matt could hear the buses roll by on the street outside, the hum of the crowd, and a ship's horn in the distant harbor.

Paddy thought it would be weird living at Jude's house and having Jude take him places. Paddy understood, in his child's mind, that his Mommy needed help---help Matt and he couldn't give her no matter how much they wanted to. Paddy noticed his Mommy was happier since moving in with Jude. He knew she would get up before Jude went to work and make fancy breakfasts for everyone, like pancakes and omelets. Paddy realized that Jude made his Mommy happy SO he was happy too.

Then they all headed to Jude's apartment. Several pizzas were ordered and rapidly devoured by the growing boys and a very hungry pregnant woman. The rest of the evening was spent playing "Go Fish". Soon bedtime came. Matt and Paddy changed into their pajamas and brushed their teeth. Jude presided over them like a father would and finally tucked them in.

Sarah sat apprehensively in the living room as the full reality of what had happened sunk in. How could a bachelor act so much like a loving father? Sure, earlier today, Jude had helped her bathe, but that had been a type of nursing done out of necessity. Now she would have to share a bed with him. Tonight, they would have to sleep together in the only bed in the unit. Sarah didn't want Jude to think that she was an easy woman, one who would spread her legs for any man. It wasn't her fault that her ex-husband had ditched her for a barely eighteen-year-old cocktail waitress.

Sarah's ex-husband had told her he wanted a "more adventurous life and he deserved it." Then he was gone with the cocktail waitress, leaving her to deal with her beloved children. Sarah really resented him, too. She also wanted to be basking on the beaches of Rio, partying in Las Vegas--- reading the adventurous Instagram life that her ex-husband claimed he deserved. But somebody had to stay in the crappy Roxbury Triple-Deckers, somebody had to sweep up, somebody had to take care of Matt and Paddy, in fact, somebody had to earn a living to support the family while Sarah's ex-husband was out there "leading his best life."

To all intense purposes, Sarah was now a single mother in Boston...living life, doing what "somebody" had to do. Sarah wondered why she had to be the practical Roxbury somebody, instead of the high-life Instagram somebody. The baby kicked, again bringing her back to reality. Of course, that ended when her boss seduced her, though in fact, it had been rape. Now she was pregnant with her ex-boss's child.

"Sarah...are you okay?" questioned Jude nervously from down the hall. She'd been lost in contemplation and he didn't know what went on in a seven-month-pregnant woman's belly, or in her mind for that matter.

"What? Oh yeah, fine." Answered Sarah. She had made up her mind. Her ex-husband had been an asshole dipshit, and her boss was worse, but Jude was a rare gentleman. He had a kind heart that brimmed with warmth and love. Sarah waddled down the hallway to the bedroom.

Still, Sarah paused, her life was so full of uncertainty right now. 'I honestly don't know right now what I'm really feeling about Jude, since everything has happened so suddenly. But I've got to figure out what I'm really feeling for Jude beyond an attraction and a feeling of safety. And there is the issue if how he feels about my boys, in fact for all of us including the baby. It's wrong to take advantage of Jude if I don't truly love him. I certainly don't want to hurt, or even destroy such a good-loving man. Life and love aren't as simple as a Disney, Hallmark or Nancy Meyers movie.

All of this uncertainty and doubt kept running around in Sarah's mind. Still, she joined Jude in the bed trusting he would be a gentleman. He sure seemed to have very high standards.

The new couple slept next to each other in the bed. What did it matter if their relationship was unconventional?

In the middle of the night, the promised Nor'easter finally hit with hurricane-force winds. Jude woke up freezing to find that Sarah had "stolen" all his blankets. She was snuggled deep within them fast asleep and slightly snoring. He silently laughed to himself, he'd never had anyone steal his blankets before and he sort of liked it. Jude got out of bed to turn up the thermostat. Matt and Paddy were also deeply asleep on the worn sofa and old Lazy-Z Boy recliner. Jude just smiled as he looked at them. He was happy. He finally felt he was loved and hoped he had a blossoming family of his own.

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Meanwhile at a place nearby

"Once upon a time, not so very long ago, a beautiful star tripped while dancing across the night sky, she fell to the earth as a mortal girl. When she woke up the girl did not know who she was, only that the specks in the sky above her looked familiar. She had no clothes or name and walked strangely thanks to the fall. When she traveled into the villages the people all trembled in fear and called her a witch.

The fallen star did not know what a 'witch' was so she could not understand and correct them. Still, they threw stones and drove her away. The girl found comfort in the darkness, being alone under the stars. The animals of the forest were kind to her, and brought her things to eat. They showed the star how to live on Earth.

"She did not know how to speak to the animals but they seemed to understand anyway. They were her only companions. At night she washed her hair in the clear mountain stream and sang the songs of the stars to keep herself company. In time, she grew to be a woman, her silver hair grew long, beautiful, and as bright as the Heavens.

"The girl slept during the day, deep within the forest and away from the villagers. But, at night she walked barefooted under the sky. The girl grew to know the trees and animals by name, not the names that mortals called them, but the names that the trees and animals called themselves. For a time, the star girl was happy, or as happy as she could be knowing she was different.

"One evening, while making her way through the woods, the girl caught sight of a boy tracking a doe. She was frightened, remembering how the villagers had treated her but also intrigued at the sight of him. He had a kind face and was very attractive to her. Even though she did not understand her feelings, the star girl followed him, curious to see what would happen.

"When the boy lifted his bow to slaughter a doe, the star girl cried out and begged for the life of the doe. She was innocent. She was pure. The boy was surprised and moved. He accidentally let go of the arrow the star girl was caught by her moonlight hair, enamored and unable to free herself, the girl looked deep within the boy's eyes and saw the villagers and their rocks, but also the trees the boy had climbed as a child, the animals he'd spoken to and the songs he'd sung.

"The star girl opened her mouth but had no words. She was in love with the boy. 'I'm sorry.' said the boy. 'I didn't see you.'

"The girl didn't understand this but if she had she would have told him that the people in the village had never seen her. She stayed still and watched the boy as he pulled his arrow from her hair.

"The doe was gone now, safe somewhere among the trees. The star girl was grateful for that. 'Are you lost?' queried the boy, concerned for the beautiful girl with the limp.

"However, the star girl did not understand the boy's words and continued on her way. The boy followed her, intrigued, yes bewitched, by her hair. The boy did not know what he was longing for but in truth neither did the girl.

"As the boy followed her, the girl began to grow worried. Who would stalk her like she was a doe? She began to run faster and faster, right up the steep mountain beyond the clouds. The boy continued to chase the girl. At the mountain's edge the star girl, with no place to go, turned back to face the boy.

"'I won't hurt you.' said the boy as he held out his hand. 'Please believe me.' But even as he uttered it the boy did not know if he spoke the truth. He wanted the star girl for his own.

"But the star girl was frightened. She had no words and took a step back, the ground crumbled beneath her feet. The boy reached for her but he was too late. As the girl fell, her hair fanned out like moonlight.

"'Oh, I remember this feeling,' thought the girl, knowing that she was a star. Still, she fell down and down, but then was swept up into the endless expanse of sky, her moonlight hair shining with a different kind of light now, a light fresh and made of stars.

"But the boy did not see this. He hadn't seen the real girl anyway, only his dream of her."

That was the story Nina always told her daughter about her father. It was better that Bella think she was the daughter of a star than a daughter of a father who'd abandoned them because he "couldn't cope with Nina's illness anymore". Nina sighed as she struggled to carry her daughter Bella up to the third floor of their Roxbury triple-decker. It had been another day of constant abuse from her boss Avery Curry. She'd quit but the job paid well and had excellent benefits. Things that Nina needed for both her and Bella.

So, what if her boss called her "an ugly bitch", "gimp" or "retard"? Nina was used to abusive words. She'd faced them all her life thanks to her muscular dystrophy. The condition had gotten worse as she'd gotten older---it was why her husband had left. He "couldn't cope" with it anymore. He'd only seen her beauty and not who she really was. There are no cures to muscular dystrophy, just a gradual worsening of symptoms. Nina just had to endure and keep soldering on. Her daughter needed her.

Nina just wanted enough for a down payment on a first-floor apartment. It didn't have to be in a fancy neighborhood like Cambridge or Dorchester. She'd still live in Roxbury. Nina liked the impoverished neighborhood well enough and everyone knew her. Nina just wanted a simple home; one she didn't have to climb three floors to reach. Simple home, simple life, just her and her daughter. Big dreams usually led to bigger disappointments. Nina had learned it was better to dream small. The first-floor apartment was her dream---well not her ultimate dream. Her ultimate dream was to poison Avery Curry or at least see him brought to his knees. It was what Avery deserved. He showed the world that money didn't buy scruples, kindness, or class.

One day she'd get back at Avery Curry!

Nina almost fell asleep when she helped Bella into her pajamas. As soon as Nina's head hit her pillow, she was asleep. Her alarm sounded at 5:30 am. Nina was sure that she hadn't slept. Still, it was time to get up and face this never-ending Groundhog Day that was her life. It was another day and she was another day older. She had to keep on keeping on.

Nina followed her morning routine. She brushed her hair and teeth, got into work clothes and grabbed a Greek yogurt, and mixed it with granola for breakfast. (That was the "healthy option" that would enable her to lead a long life and have any man she chose; or so Madison Avenue implied.) Nina knew the truth. Yogurt wasn't going to give her a competitive edge. It wasn't going to magically cure her muscular dystrophy and make her beautiful. Yogurt was just yogurt and if she didn't have to set a good example for her daughter, Nina would have donuts for breakfast. Who wouldn't?

Now she had to wake Bella. Nina briefly stopped in the doorway to just admire her small daughter's innocent beauty. Bella was snuggled safely deep within her Disney Princess blanket, teddy bear in hand.

"Wake up, Bella. It's morning and time to get ready for school," said Nina as she gently woke Bella.

"Not morning...sleepy." pouted Bella as she rolled over.

"It is morning, silly! Let's get you some Coco Puffs. We had a big storm last night, it's all icy out. I want to get you all nice and warm, so come on sleepyhead. Let's get you up and changed for breakfast."

Bella grumbled and begrudgingly got up. She did as her mother bid. Nina stuck the dishes in the dishwasher and ran it. She could unload it when she got home. Sometimes, it seemed like homes were made to be cleaned.

"We've got to get going, Mommy has to get coffee for Mr. Curry." said Nina. She put on her hat and scarf. Boston had the nastiest winters. After dropping Bella at the sitter's she headed to work stopping for a few minutes on her daily errand. Nina fetched Avery's breakfast plus a coffee for herself and headed to the office. Another day, another dollar...just keep keep-on going.

"Hey hold the door." Called Nina toward the elevator. She hurried carrying Avery's egg white and kale scramble. The man inside held the door; it was Jude in the elevator. Sarah and the boys had lived with him for three weeks now. Sarah was about eight months along and ready to burst. Jude was a bit ashamed of himself because he thought of Sarah's boys, Matt and Paddy, as "his boys" and as the baby as "his baby". It had only been three weeks but it seemed like they'd always been forever s family.

Still, Jude was full of plans. They'd do this. They'd do that. They'd transfer the boys to a closer school. They'd redo the entire apartment. He'd already ordered a bunk bed for Matt and Paddy from a local furniture store. Jude was bursting with energy. He wanted so much to start a totally new life with Sarah and her children.

With the baby coming any day, Jude was wondering what to do. Babies were expensive and Sarah wasn't on his insurance. Jude often thought if he had any courage, he'd either quit his job or punch Avery Curry. It was what the misogynistic coke addict deserved. Still, Jude needed the job to help with the baby and the boys. He'd have to figure out a smarter way to bring Avery Curry to his knees.

"You're Avery Curry's secretary...aren't you?" he questioned Nina.

Nina nodded and shrank back further into the elevator. She hoped he wouldn't yell or lash out at her. People often took their wrath out on her since they couldn't reach Avery. Others said that Nina was a strange person and in school, she'd been bullied for "being weird". Still, she'd sucked it up and bore it.

With hair as silver as the stars and quiet, Nina got through. Sometimes her limp was imperceptible but other times she needed crutches. Adults stared and whispered amongst themselves at the sight of her. In many ways, they weren't better than children. Some like her boss, Avery Curry, openly mocked her. Bullies belittled her at every opportunity. Still, Nina stayed. She needed this job. She wanted her dream first-floor apartment.

"I'm Jude, I work in Data processing. You don't know Sarah McVie, do you? She was Avery's secretary about eight months ago. Nice lady." stated Jude casually.

Nina just nodded not sure where this was going.

Jude continued, "He's not nice though. Sure, he's a great businessman and gets things done. He has a real talent when it comes to making money. He's not great with people though. His coke habit and alcohol addiction really get in the way. Do you know how to take care of yourself? I wouldn't want you to get hurt. He hurt Sarah while on a bender. She's still suffering from it. PTSD, you know and she's pregnant." Jude didn't look at Nina or tell her that Avery was the father of Sarah's baby. He just implied it. She was a smart woman. Nina could understand the inference.

"Nina, I'd....well we'd like to help you if you'd let Sarah and me help. Please be careful when working for Avery. We wouldn't want you to get hurt or be driven into depression."

Jude took a picture frame with a recording device in it from his briefcase and gave it to Nina. "Just put this on your desk. It'll record everything and if anything happens, we...well you can use it against Avery." stated Jude as he passed Nina the recording picture frame.

Nina took it. She doubted she was going to use it. She needed this job. She hated it but she could endure it for her daughter's sake. That's what a mother did. They endured for their children.