All Comments on 'Step Sister Corruption 001-010'

Dr beulahthemick. Where is the incest? A step-sister isn't a blood relative, so by definition, it can't be incest. One can legally marry a step sibling, some people may think it a bit `off' but it is legal.

So glad to find your stories again since we lost you on Reddit! I was deep into SSC and then it was gone!

Amazing read, can't wait for more

Good story but a bit long could have been broken down some but good, keep it going and let her learn and where will his adventure go with three on the line. waiting to find out.

Someone complained about this not being incest. True, but it is taboo to most, so it fits.

As a story, I find it ok. Look at the following...I copied from one page...grammatical errors are so easy to fix. If you aren't interested in improvement, ignore this. I know some writers just want to post their story and move on, while others wish to improve.

I actually knew Kel ate healthy, I try to eat healthy. So I intentionally made extra because Kel always bitches at me when I cook I only cook for myself instead of everyone when we are home alone. So when I made my healthy dinner I knew she would bitch at me…

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They sat down and eat all ate in relative silence…

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Does her previous beau's know…

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with the guys that has gotten her close, the majority of them hasn't gotten her close…

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Summer smiled, "We need to figure out what positions works best for her and get her out of the usual rut she's.

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These are all (if I remember correctly) on page 3. This makes reading harder, and more difficult to follow for your reader.

I am no going to continue with examples - keep trying!

Holy shit. Even if you cut this in half, it would have been far too long. The errors are numerous, glaring, and confusing.

As far as the comment from another reviewer regarding it not being incest, this category says incest/taboo.

Way too long. Got boring near the end. And WTF with those pills.

So glad to have Lightening here, especially after that recent fiasco on reddit. Can't wait to see all your stories posted here!

Great concept initially, but very poorly written. I was so bored that I decided halfway thru that this story was a waste of time.

I'm SO sorry!

I really did want to read this but I have one major recommendation!

GET AN EDITOR!!!

There are just too many errors, especially spelling errors!

If you had PROOF READ and cleaned up the errors I'd have given 4*.

As it is, 1.5*!

This may not be incest as step siblings can even marry in every state (unless the father had adopted the mothers son from a previous relationship or visa versa. Then legally they are considered real true siblings under the law and then it is incest.) But it could fall under the heading "taboo". It really doesn't matter if something is legal, such as step siblings fooling around or even marrying. The big question is how does the rest of the family feel about it? How does the community feel about it? The it could be considered taboo and result in serious issues of rejection and possibly even violence.

I'm not going to complain about the length of this chapter as a lot of it is a kind of character development, seeing how the players think. But I would say that there doesn't feel like there is a lot of affection between the players, even the parents. And what is going on with the mother being "happy" to go on a cruise by herself? Play around time for mommy? Doesn't bode well. Also, though we can see how the players think, not a lot of "likable" players in the story so far. They just seem to be narcissistic individuals with little redeemable value. This will be important in keeping readers interested in continuing to invest time into this tale.

I can’t figure out why this story is so highly rated. The infodump and subpar grammar on the first page alone make it difficult to get into, and if you stick with it through the actual narrative the writing gets worse. There might be an interesting concept in here somewhere, but it’s hidden behind the desperate need for a comprehensive edit.

DNF. Your story is, for the most part understandable, but as others have suggested, you need to first proofread, then an editor, and then proofread again, because those who dropped the story because of its grammar make a valid complaint.

However, that was not why I stopped reading. As I said, your story, is mostly understandable. Your lack of understanding of anatomy or even basic reproductive biology was; by the end of chapter 5 Your characters should be dying.

You don't penetrate the cervix. "Popping their cervix cherry" isn't a thing.

Except in the very last stage of pregnancy, the cervix is an 5-8mm (0.5-0.3 inches) opening. Fine for letting sperm into the uterus to meet an egg, but not much else.

Even the smallest micro penis couldn't pass through that, let alone one "larger than a girl's forearm." To force that kind of penetration would 1) be debilitatingly painful to both parties, and 2) cause so much enternal hemorrhage that the main concern would be to get her to at hospital before she bleeds out.

She wouldn't be passed out because she went to "orgasm-town", it would be from acute loss of blood pressure due to hypovolemic shock.

“I guess I should provide some backstory.” No you don’t. You never have to. We know what’s going on, and that sentence is not clever, it’s not cute, it’s not self-effacing, it’s not a wink-nod, it’s just bad writing.

"And unbeknownst to our rents both of us have started our string of quote casual flings unquote. Not with each other mind you. I want to be very clear on that."

That was the quickest corruption I've ever read.