Stormwatch - A Rest for the Heart

"I don't have a home," said Josh, "this is my home." His wife was dead to him, she only talks to him to beg for money, his folks were long dead, his sister was addicted to crack or meth, or maybe both, she doesn't care about anyone that's not bringing her drugs.

Colonel Getz was just as angry as Josh; how can they do this to a fucking hero? This is something that they never trained him to deal with, the utter inhumanity of the system was heartbreaking. They ask these kids to do the impossible, and when they do it, they kick them out on the streets and slowly whittle away at their promised benefits until they're left with nothing. "Fucking politicians," growled Col. Getz six months ago. "Look, it may not be much, but my former exec is running admissions for a technical college, for a disabled vet the cost is minimal, with your GI Bill you can make money on the deal. I can get you in, but here's the bad news, it's in Buffalo."

Josh told this to Sammy as he finished lacing up his boots. "You're going to Buffalo?" laughed Sammy, "Oh man, it really sucks to be you." Sammy put Josh's plaques and medal in his backpack and held the backpack open. "They're waiting for you."

"Oh shit," muttered Josh, there was one more ceremony left before he could go. He took everything out of his pockets including his wallet, and placed all of it in his backpack, he took his shirt and boots off also. "Let's get this done." Wearing just his camouflage trousers, squadron tshirt and socks he stepped out of the protective shelter that's used as the maintenance offices for the 80th fighter squadron, the Juvats. There was an entire crowd that was at his ceremony standing out there waiting for him, all wearing huge grins. They had an old grey metal office chair and several rolls of duct tape, and a fire truck.

~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~

"A fire truck?" laughed Veronica.

"Yeah, one of the big crash response trucks, it was just sitting out there waiting for me, with Colonel Getz and Colonel Raleigh leaning on the bumper."

Veronica's eyes were wide with excitement, "So, what happened?"

"They grabbed me, put me in the chair, and used an entire roll of duct tape to tie me to it, then they pulled a reel hose off the fire truck and hosed me down for about an hour." He rolled his eyes up at the memory of his final "washdown." It only lasted 10 minutes at the most, but the water was ice cold, and it wasn't very warm outside that morning.

"Why did they do that?

"Tradition," said Josh. "The Air Force isn't very old, and they did away with a lot of the traditions that came out of the Army, one of the dumbest ideas a collection of officers could come up with. So a lot of the goofy things that happened in Vietnam become a tradition. The washdown after your final mission quickly became a washdown before going to a new assignment. It's a way of saying goodbye."

"How did you dry off? Did you go back to your room?"

"No, they set me in that chair next to the taxiway and left me there and all the planes taxied right past me on their way to the runway. I got a Juvat salute from every plane that passed by." He looked deep into his drink hoping to find an answer as to why his head was so messed up. The gin said, "Come on in! I'll make your cares go away." Then it whispered, "remember what I did for your father?"

"Finish your drink, let's go freshen up," she smiled then finished with a kiss.

"I'm done," he said as he finished the drink in one long gulp. "That was really tasty." He didn't forget that his folks drank themselves to death on hard liquor, but he tried. He saw the look of concern on her face and said, "it just gets worse the more you learn, doesn't it."

"I actually knew your parents were alcoholics," Veronica took his hand in hers and held it gently, "Anthony told me. I understand, my mother was an alcoholic also."

He wanted to say that his folks weren't alcoholics they were just plain drunks, they drank whatever they could afford and when there was no money, there was no booze. His sister taught him that whenever a bottle of whiskey appeared on the table, it was payday at the paper mill where daddy worked and Josh vowed that if he ever had kids, he'd teach them a better way to tell time.

Veronica coached Josh to his feet, "come on, and bring your carryon." She led Josh down a hallway filled with similar-looking doors until she reached the end, took the last door down the hallway, and opened the door. Inside was a neat washroom with a vanity, plenty of towels, and soap, the room had a toilet and a shower.

"What is this?" asked Josh. The room wasn't elegant, but it wasn't a truck stop washroom either, but it was nice.

"It's one of the amenities you get when you purchase a first-class ticket on this airline," she said as she started to pull Josh's field jacket off his shoulders.

"Did you fly first class a lot?"

"Not at first, but as I started getting bigger jobs I insisted on it," Veronica adjusted the shower and started taking her clothes off. "You get an insane number of points flying first class, if we stick to coach, we can fly for ages on my points," she smiled, "but this is an occasion, our first vacation together."

Josh's stomach suddenly felt like he swallowed a rock, she's right, it is an occasion, it should be joyful, but he's ruining it. He sat and slowly took his shoes off while Veronica undressed. Watching her undress always cheered him up and he concentrated on her small, athletic, yet completely delightful ass. "God I love this woman!" he thought, "but how can she love me? I'm so fucked in the head, I don't deserve this, any of this..."

When she undressed, she eased under the shower. "There's something about being naked in a public building," she said with a saucy smile. "You get used to it when you're modeling and changing clothes constantly, but I still find it kind of sexy."

Josh got up and checked the lock on the door, it was rotated to show "Occupied," and he returned to undressing. "This is truly different," he said. "Do you use these showers much?"

"All the time when I was modeling, I practically lived in airports before I retired from the game." She got tired of waiting for Josh, "Come on in Ghost Rider, the water is fine." She reached out and grabbed his arm and playfully tugged him under the warm flow.

"Nica... I can't... not with all this going on in my head." No matter how beautiful Veronica is, not today. There was nothing she could do to get him to ignore the shrieking cacophony of memories and emotions, and lucky for Josh, that's not what she had in mind.

"Come here Effi... hold me." She finally coaxed him into the shower, and it felt nice, he felt comforted. It felt so comforting to hold his lover under the spray of warm soothing water. The demons of his past didn't go away, but they shut up to some extent. Josh and Veronica clung to each other under the warm, soothing spray of water, the warmth of her love easing away the horrors of the past.

How many times has Josh done this for her? When the initial rush of their relationship mellowed, the old horrors of her past came roaring back and she clung to Josh like a drowning woman clutching a life preserver, now she stepped up to return the favor. She felt Josh relaxing and he started to return the little kisses. "What were you thinking of?" she asked.

He paused for a long time as the water ran over their bodies. "Sitting in my room alone, waiting to leave it all behind..."

For a week Master Sergeant Ephraim J. Gravely sat in his room on Kunsan Air Base, all that remained in his room was a laundry basket, his suitcase, and a garment bag with his service dress uniform. His personal belongings were picked up long ago. He would get up every morning and head out to complete the mind-numbing task of out processing, where you visit dozens of offices around the base. Some offices had something for you like a set of records to carry to your next assignment, or you needed to turn something in, like your protective gear such as the flack vest, helmet, and gas mask. Or you need to verify information like your NCO club account was up to date. Mostly the offices just initialed your checklist, made a mark on a list of their own to strike you from their data base later, and sent you on your way.

He made one trip off base, first to a small restaurant that he frequented and had their daeji bulgogi (Korean BBQ pork) with sticky rice and a small serving of "Summer Kimchi" (unfermented kimchi) knowing that he'll never have a dish that delectable again. Then he took the bus downtown to the city of Gunsan, to the shopping district where custom made jackets and hats were made for the airmen from the 8th Fighter Wing.

That's where the airmen got their "tour jackets," a jacket with the snarling wolfs head symbol of the 8th Fighter Wing "Wolf Pack" emblazoned with the month and year of arrival and departure boldly displayed on the back. Josh got his customized on the front with the 80th Fighter Squadron symbol of the New Guinea headhunter with the word "Juvat" (Latin for Bold) was embroidered on the left breast, the right breast was embroidered his nickname "The Shadow" and under that an evil looking ghost holding a "flaming piss pot." That was a sphere with a flame coming out of the top, it was the oldest herald in the US military, the ancient symbol of an ancient grenade, the symbol of the ancient grenadiers which became the symbol of ordinance men in all branches of the service. He has met torpedo men from a ballistic submarine wearing the flaming pisspot.

He put on the jacket remembering the jacket he previously had made, a jacket with an AC-130 on the back emblazoned with the title "Ghost Rider Zero Four" and on the front the symbol of the 73rd Special Operations Squadron, a giant eagle sitting on a globe, one wing raised in defiance and the motto "Without Fail." The right breast had his callsign "Bounce 27" embroidered on it under the specter of death riding a horse carrying same flaming piss pot. He also got one for Ellie, the only difference was her callsign, "Hellinore," and her ghost wasn't carrying the flaming piss pot.

He then stopped at a coffee shop where he often frequented and spoke with Korean college students who came there to practice their English, but no students were there that day, the shop was nearly empty, so he got to speak with the waitresses while he drank his coffee and ate Korean buns filled with sweet bean paste. Then it was back to the base and the empty room. Before he left, he gave the Korean lady that did the laundry and light cleaning in his room a five-hundred-dollar tip.

He took a bus to Seoul where he boarded a "Freedom Bird" to Seattle, flew from there to Atlanta, then from there he rented a car and drove to Moody AFB where he lived in another empty room. He out processed from the USAF, an exercise in paperwork like what he went through in Kunsan. In a month it was all over, everything that gave his life meaning was taken away. He still remembers the echoes of the main gate slamming closed behind him. It didn't really happen that way, but that's how it felt.

"Thank you," he finally said, the angry hornets in his head finally calmed and he finally realized that she was gently washing him with her soapy hands from behind. "I'm sorry Nica," he said softly, "I ruined everything."

"You didn't ruin anything," sighed Veronica as she hugged him from behind. If he were feeling better, he would have been hard as a rock from the feeling of her soapy breasts on his back. She gently kissed his neck and shoulders. "If anything, you gave me a chance to learn more about the man I adore."

"Really?" He twisted around in her arms and held her tightly. They kissed gently and their eyes met, his eyes were still troubled but the terror she saw was fading. Her eyes were filled with tears, but she wasn't sad, she was ecstatic that her love was finally opening to her and trusting her enough to share his nightmares with her.

"I think this is the beginning of a beautiful week," she sighed, and they kissed long and sweetly.

They emerged from the shower, both were excited and filled with a feeling that their love was renewed. "Ok, you head back to the buffet and see what they have, I'm going to make myself beautiful and be out in a few minutes, ok Effi?"

He gave her a little kiss and then said, "thank you for understanding."

"When you find that shrink, maybe we can go together. Now go!" She started to open her cosmetic case and Josh headed out. As soon as he left Veronica locked the door and took out her phone and texted Ellie.

<kbd>**He told me about his last few days in the USAF, he's still upset that they put him out.**</kbd>

<kbd>**Me too, I was afraid when I got put out.**</kbd>

As Veronica continued to chat with Ellie, Josh went out to the buffet and was delighted to discover that everything was free except premium drinks, but his favorite beverage, Coca Cola was not on that list so he had the biggest Coke he could get. When Veronica emerged from the shower room, she found Josh with a tall glass of Coke and a plate full of sliders reading an in-flight magazine. "Look, we can get a solid brass telescope for looking at the stars out at the cabin!"

"We could get another cabin for that price," smiled Veronica as she took a slider from the plate. Josh went up to the bar and got Veronica a diet Sprite and they sat down together as Josh leafed through the overpriced offerings that he had no use for. "What does it look like in the summer?" she asked, she's only seen the land they spend most weekends on buried in the snow.

Josh took a piece of paper out of his backpack and drew a quick map of the land. "Here's our cabin and garage, the boat house and the dock..."

"What's in the boathouse?"

"There's a rowboat, a canoe, and an ancient pontoon boat that I've been working on, down south we call 'em party barges. Ok, here's the stream that fills the pond from the northeast, lots of good fishing there, here it flows out to the northwest, here's a waterfall that Ant and Marg's kids love to climb on, then back in the woods is where there were eleven cabins, there's only four left. Number 8 is where Ant and Marj camp, Here's number three it's in tough shape, number twelve is good, and number five is right on the lake, I've got special plans for it."

Veronica knew that Josh loved talking about his land, and right now it's lifting him out of his depression. It used to be a girl scout camp but, in the years since it closed it had been parceled off and vandalized, Josh got it for a steal when the seller who never looked at it thought all the cabins were burned down. "What is so special about Number Five?" she asked as she started to catch Josh's excitement.

"Five faces the pond like ours does and has a porch like ours. I was thinking of fixing the dock and letting your dad use it as much as he wants."

Veronica started to tear up, "He'll love it!" She gave Josh a huge kiss, then gushed, "thank you so much!"

"Don't thank me, you're going to have to help me with fixing up the cabin and the dock." Cheerful Josh was back.

An hour later Josh strolled up to the jetway like a rock star, wearing aviator shades in anticipation of the Florida heat. They were just in time for first-class to be called and were halfway up the jetway when they caught up to a single young mom with two toddlers and an infant that were let on before first class was called to board. He whispered to Veronica "ask her if she needs help then ask me to do it."

Veronica was a little confused, but she walked up to the haggard-looking young mom and said, "Dear, would you like a little help?"

Veronica was made up like she was heading out for a photo shoot, she looked like a million dollars, so the young mom was a bit confused, but she said "if you don't mind..."

Veronica then turned to Josh and said, "Honey, please help." Josh stepped up and snagged a few of the toy bags and scooped up a young boy of about five years old who was wearing cowboy boots and a hat and hoisted him up with one arm and said, "Heya pard, y'all like cowboys?"

"No," the tyke said, "but my grandpa does so I wear this to cheer him up."

"That's right thoughtful of ya pard."

"Are you a cowboy?" the boy asked, "you sound like one." Having never met anyone except native Western New Yorkers, the youngster has never heard an accent as interesting as Josh's southern drawl.

"Nope, but I shoulda been one," then Josh began to sing softly.

"I should've been a cowboy, I should've learned to rope and ride

Wearin' my six-shooter, ridin' my pony on the cattle drive

Stealin' a young girl's heart, just like Gene and Roy

Singin' those campfire songs, oh I should've been a cowboy."

By the time he was done with the Toby Keith song, the young lady had her clutch of children and their equipment stowed. "Thank you so much!" she gasped as she shook hands with Veronica while Josh headed forward.

"Don't thank me," said Veronica who was amazed at Josh's captivation of the fussy boy, "thank the singing cowboy." She headed forward and found Josh had an amber drink with ice and a cherry. "I thought you weren't drinking hard liquor," she said. He just smiled and handed it to her. She sniffed it and then tasted it. It was straight ginger ale. "You dork!" she laughed at him. Then she settled in "What do you think of first class now?"

Josh snuggled back and smiled, "this seat is incredible, my ass is so happy!"

"Josh!" laughing she tried to get him to settle down.

"These seats are incredible! Even the seatbelt is cushioned," he said as he inspected the comfort cushion on the seat belt. "When I grow up I want a recliner this comfortable," he sighed as he leaned the seat back further than any airline seat he's ever been in. "I could sleep in this thing! It's got a foot rest!"

"Please return your seat back to the full upright position," said Veronica as she took the aisle seat.

"That even applies to first class? I thought that was just for the peasants in steerage."

"Sit up you goofball," chuckled Veronica. God but it was good to see him more like himself. Hopefully, this flight won't kick off another roller coaster ride. "Why did you have me ask that woman if she wanted help?"

"Because if a single guy asks, it could be construed as a threat, y' know, a thief or a rapist or a pervert. If you ask it's no threat, even though women can be just as much a threat, but that's life in this fucked up world now, it's getting harder and harder to be nice to each other."

"What did I do to deserve you?" she asked as she kissed his hand.

"I don't know, there's probably some pretty evil sins in your past."

She kept an eye on Josh during the engine start and taxi out, he appeared to be quite normal, even clowning with the flight attendant a little during the safety briefing. When the plane finally took off, he appeared to tense up, but after the initial climb, he relaxed. However, the plane soon banked for a left turn and Josh froze.

The AC-130J leaned into its pylon turn as they lined up on target and the Sensor Operator pinpointed their target. Now the crew went to work, Josh was the weapons team chief, his new master sergeant stripe freshly attached to his uniform. "Let's step it up guys," Josh shouted without keying his microphone to put it on the intercom, there was enough conversation going on in their headsets, Josh didn't feel the need to interrupt the official chatter with his encouragement to his team.

Whatever it was they were shooting at, it must have been important, the Weapons System Operator kept calling for HEAT rounds on the 105mm howitzer. High Explosive Anti-Tank rounds are a potent anti-everything round that will blow a hole in an aircraft carrier. Once again Josh was thankful that there were are no windows on the left side of the plane, which was good, weapons guys being weapons guys would be at the windows trying to watch the explosions.