Str8 Jake

"Yeah." I said slowly. "Sorry I think I might have moved you from the friend category to the hookup category, and I don't like to make things weird with hookups." He snorted.

"Good work doofus. You made things super weird. You need a third category for me. Where we can hang out like we used to but we don't stop fooling around." I avoided his eyes as I mumbled something in agreement. That sounded an awful lot like the currently vacant boyfriend category. Too close for comfort. Idiot, of course he didn't see that. Maybe it was fine for him, to fuck a friend and never develop feelings but I was falling into an absolute cliche of a situation if I didn't watch myself.

Luckily there was Rawiri.

--

Jake and I bumped into each other on the path.

"You look nice." He said accusingly. I laughed.

"I scrub up ok."

"You scrub down pretty well too." He wriggled his eyebrows suggestively and motioned to his. I bit my lip and shook my head and his face fell. "Don't tell me you've found another man?" He said. His voice was lighthearted but his face... Well yeah, if things became serious I guess I'd have to give up the whole thing with Jake. "What does he have that I don't have?" He joked

"He's gay for one thing." I shrugged. "So he can take me out to dinner and I'm very food driven." I grinned at him. "Early days." Jake nodded and we parted ways, a little awkwardly.

Dinner with Rawiri was lovely. He was entertaining, so very intelligent and full of charm. He was an absolute gentleman and even called my uber home. We kissed, but we didn't take it further. He really was the perfect man. So why the fuck was I thinking about my dumbass stoner neighbour with his pale skin and mop of curly hair? What the fuck was that about? I groaned as I returned to the flat and pulled out a bottle of wine.

"Bad date?" I shook my head at Caleb and the other flatmates who were still up on the playstation.

"Amazing date. He's perfect. I should marry him." He and Kelly looked at each other.

"Sooo..."

"So nothing. So I've fallen for a straight guy. Fuck it. Rawiri doesn't need to know." The flatmates all sucked in. Yeah. I know. I rolled my eyes and threw myself dramatically over the sofa.

"Anyone we know?" Gordon asked. I glared at him.

"No." I lied. "No guesses."

"Ian." Kelly guessed.

"Jesus. I know I'm a whore but fucks sake Ian's even worse."

"Mattias."

"Not playing."

"Tom?" I rolled my eyes.

"Oh come on, theres straight and then theres fucking homophobic."

"Jake." I groaned.

"I told you I'm not playing!" Only my face hadn't got the message. I was bright fucking red, I could feel it. They looked at each other. I shook my head and sunk even lower into the couch.

"You guys do spend a lot of time together."Kelly said. I shrugged.

"I know."

"He ever... you ever... made a move?" Caleb asked. My lips twitched in spite of myself.

"Define made a move?"

"No gentle touches? Lingering hands? Prolonged eye contact?" I thought about that.

"Maybe a bit but usually he just rams it in." I laughed to myself as their mouths dropped open. "Kidding. No. Nothing. Its me being a dumb little faggot ok? Just the same old sad story and I'm not going to wallow in it. Rawiri and I are going out to cocktails on Friday and I'll let you know when the wedding is by Sunday."

Only Jake got to me before Friday.

—

You free?

Work till 5

Come over after

He was so demanding. And I was so acquiescent.

"Hey." His flatmate let me in. Weird. Jake always made sure he was home alone when I came over. I nodded awkwardly at him. "Jake's in the kitchen." As if he expected me. He led me there and tossed me a beer. I glanced uncertainly at Jake who grinned and put down the knife he was holding. Before I knew it his arms were wrapped around me.

"Jesus you smell good." He said. "New cologne?"

"Ugh. Yeah. One of those Solid State ones." I stammered. I glanced awkwardly at Cody. Jake shrugged. No big deal. Except it totally was. I shook it off.

"So come on, show me that comic." I said, by which I meant let's head to your room so we can fuck.

"After dinner." Jake said evenly. That's when I realised he was making a salad. A fancy salad. What the fuck.

"Lydia's here." Cody finished his beer and belched. "Catch you later guys. Enjoy date night." He disappeared. Date night? I waited for him to leave before whirling on Jake.

"What the fuck is going on?" Jake looked at me.

"I'm making you dinner."

"Why?"

"Because you're food driven." He threw some steak on a skillet as my brain started to crumble. He glanced at me. "I'm not the fuckboi you think I am." He said. "And I really didn't like the idea of you with someone else."

My brain short circuited.

"What the fuck?" Jake plated up the meals. He looked at me.

"What?"' He said. As if he didn't know.

"What is this?" Jake pushed my plate towards me.

"Dinner." He said. "I made it for you. We eat. We talk. We maybe fuck after, but I know I'm fucking lucky if that happens don't get me wrong. It's a fucking privilege."

I wanted to throw my arms around him, but I was so angry.

"We fuck." I said. "You're straight." I gulped my beer down. "This fucking lame attempt to stop me from seeing a guy who actually wants to be with me is stupid as hell, Jake. Just find another hole ok?" Jake sighed.

"You can't say we've been fucking for a year and you feel nothing. You can't."'

"Want? And you do? You're gonna tell your flatmates you're gay for the stupid fag next door?" Jake sighed.

"I already told them I'm seeing you."

"Seeing me? You mean sticking your dick up my-" Jake strode across the room and silenced me with a touch of his hands.

"Seeing you." He said firmly. "You. Nikau. Only you. For months now. I know I could have said it sooner. I should have said it sooner. I'm really fucking sorry about that."

"You're straight." I said again. Jake sighed, touching me gently.

"Dude. I suck your dick. I ream your ass. I actually wouldn't be opposed to you fucking me. I'm not straight. I'm into you, You, Nikau. And your dick and everything."

I pulled away from him.

"Its sex." I said. "That was the fucking arrangement." He growled.

"Theres no fucking arrangement. I like you. I want you. I want all of you. I want to make you dinner."

"Cool. A relationship where you get to fuck whatever cute girl caught your eye this time and its ok because you make me dinner once a week."

"I just told you I came out ok? What do you want Nikau? What the fuck do you want?"

"What do I want? A bit of warning when my fuckbuddy decides he's my stupid fucking boyfriend."

Jake sighed.

"I love..." He trailed off. "You really... You really don't feel it?"

Idiot. I felt it with all my dumb heart.

"Fuck you." I said. And I walked out.

-

Rawiri and I were having a heated discussion about Shakespeare. He bought me another gin and tonic before he disappeared to the bathroom, which I sipped on as he peed.

I didn't realise I was fucked until he returned.

The bartender looked at me and looked at Rawiri.

"He good?" I sat up and looked at him. Of course I was good. Except I wasn't. I opened my mouth and found I couldn't say much of anything. Oh shit. Someone must have taken my drink. I must have some poor girls... well poor me.

I tried to explain to Rawiri what happened but he barely acknowledged me.

"Lightweight." He said. He looked at me. Predatorily. Oh. Oh shit no. No way. I was gonna fuck him anyway! Why... He grinned at me.

"Little slut who doesn't put out on the first date huh? You better put out on the second." My brain was fucked.

I felt Rawiri pick me up and get me outside. I was stupidly fucked. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move properly. Oh my god. I tried to protest but he was leading me to a taxi.

And I felt a firm hand on my back.

"Fucking fuck off." A voice said.

--

I woke up in Jake's bed.

I want to lie.

But.

I started crying.

Jake must have heard because he appeared at the door.

"Nik." He said quietly. I looked at him and sobbed. He paused. "I think you were drugged." He muttered. "I'm sorry. I know you don't want to see me but I didn't have a key for your flat."

"Shut up." I sobbed. There was a lot in my brain and it didn't make sense. "Stop it." I mumbled. "I hate you so much."

"You... hate me?" He said quietly.

"How fucking dare you pretend you had feelings. And then save me. You fucking bastard. Fuck you! Just let me be a fucking... faggot ok. Like fuck you. I fell so hard, and if you just let me put you in the hookup category I would have been fine. But you fucking had to fuck with me. Why? why?" Jake was on the bed.

"Maybe now isn't the time Nikau." Jake reached for me, so carefully. He caressed me. "But we will talk ok? Ok Nik?"

"I can't talk to you. I hate you." Jake sighed and stoked my head.

"Okay." He held me as I cried myself out.

—-

I woke up and he was next to me. He looked at me.

"Oh god I'm so sorry."

"You were drugged. Don't be sorry."

"I don't hate you."

"I know."

We looked at each other for a bit and I tried to find the words.

"Wanna be my boyfriend?" He said eventually. He wasn't quite looking at me, just sort of past me. His jaw was clenched. I tried to detangle the weeks events as I looked at him.

"Yeah." I took his hand.

"Good." He said. "I mean... you already were you moron, but I'm glad we're on the same page." I laughed and he rested his head on my chest. He curled his arms around me. "I'll make you dinner." He said with a yawn. "If that's ok?"

"I'd love that." I squeezed him tight as he tried to wriggle away.

"I love you." He stopped wriggling for a second and looked up at me. Oh. I hadn't realised. But I looked at him and let myself see him. Just Jake. Not straight Jake - I had a lot of assumptions about him. But I was always wrong.

"I know."

—-

"Who's this ray of sunshine?" Alex shielded himself as I approached. "You're blinding me. Too cheerful, love." I shrugged as I sat down.

"Jakes coming later." I warned.

"Oh there you go. A new boy."Alex rolled his eyes as I ordered a beer.

"He's not new." Alex frowned.

"So you've been hiding something from us?"

"No, it's Jake. I told you months ago." Alex exchanged a look with the others.

"The straight one? Weren't your exact words no feelings, I promise?" Derek looked at me firmly. I shrugged again.

"Oops?" I grinned and helped myself to their fries.

Jake showed up late, that was almost a given. He ordered more chips and beer and blew kisses at me from across the room. Now that he's out he gets properly possessive. He hates other people staring at me.

"You're gonna have to get over that." I said as he put himself between me and a friendly customer when he visited me at work. "I'm hot and I'm friendly. People are gonna look." He grumbled, but he stopped being a dick to anyone who glanced my way.

"Hey." He nodded at my mates as he slipped beside me.

"Alex, Morgan, Derek- this is Jake. He's my next door neighbour." Jake punched me lightly on the shoulder.

"I'm his fuckbuddy."

"Yeah, you're my best buddy."

"Love you buddy."

"Love you too." Morgan pretended to gag as we grinned at each other.