All Comments on 'Strange Car in the Driveway - Dude'

Didn't your editor tell you not to write in present tense? Edrider is a psychopath, by the way.

Maybe I need to reread it, but it felt flat and drawn out. Some of the more lighthearted, tongue-in-cheek asides and commentary got bogged down. The concept is great, and the attempt is first-rate. I loved the story, as I have all of your work, but this one lacked the crisp, tight feel of your other work. Maybe it needs another edit, or perhaps I do need to reread it. Anyway, it is still a solid 5/5!!!

I stopped reading when he started his revenge.

Once you go down that road, there is no recovery. No forgiveness. You reconciliation….only hurt and pain and devastation.

Also, a lawyer is an officer of the court, they can’t suggest an illegal act and extortion is very, very illegal.

As for humiliating the wife by blaring proof of her actions, once he destroys her reputation, who would take her seriously again? Who would want her around, she would be an outcast, fit only as gossip and condemnation. And then he takes her back? Da’fuq you think the neighbours are going to do? Pretend nothing happened or you think they’ll treat her like shit.

Yeah, they’ll treat her like shit and her kids as well.

So yeah, i stopped reading because the bullshit was getting too thick to stomach.

Damn RAAC.

She sandbaged him too often (even at the party); lied too often over too long a time, and really isn't repentant. The party & video probably was Ray's idea, not hers.

She is incorrigible, and he can do better. If he can't get her out of his head, then try fuck buddies with her -- a downgrade from FWB as she is no friend.

I'm giving it a 2, much better than the original, but the ending sucks. It feels like it's emotional blackmail with the way she apologize in public that forces the husband to forgive her because if he didn't, it will make him look like an asshole.

Ps:

The author on the original story is a cuck and a brain dead

"I hear her sigh heavily. "I need to get out of here. You and Gary, both, make me want to throw up with your tape measures and swords"

Yep, she did wrong but this is only a problem because of Gary. This possible divorce situation is his fault, isn't it Veer?

Well done.

The story was too long to accomplish its intent. For the wife to trick her husband was cruel and unmeaningful. The guy and the teacher were perverts. The husband was like a chicken with its head cut off. So what! Can he really trust her in the future? No!

Nice story , like it a lot. AAAAA+++++

Hoping you fix some more of those stories. Too often the wife does something extremely horrible to someone she supposedly loves and then expects all to be well after. No remorse. Who thinks like that?

That WAS cooking with gas! Well done, a 5* continuation of the story.

You write well...but frankly, I simply have problems with the internal logic of the piece... They reconcile but frankly the supporting framework behind that reconciliation doesn't really make common sense. Thus I as a reader find myself substituting my own common sense and logic...and the ending just doesn't flow... In short you failed a critical test in this one... The broken logic trail causes me to not properly suspend disbelief... In short you don't really give the reader much to justify the reconciliation.... in short she is still ambushing him... and really hasn't shown fundamental change. She shows that she is not empathetic...ie she has no ability to understand or even contemplate other's emotions. In that respect she is fundamentally narcissistic...and borders on outright sociopathic. Her actions clearly demonstrate amorality...and this is a core motivation.

He is correct in his evaluation of her...She has no ability to understand him... She shows remorse but only for the results of her betrayals.... You have spent multiple pages on fleshing out the Vera character... who is a rather cold bitch who delights in ambushing him.... Given what you have detailed here...there is really no support behind a full reconciliation...as she only loves herself... There is no UNCONDITIONAL love here where she places her husband's needs before her own... He loves her...but she shows no ability to fully love him... That is the fundamental logical break in this tale...and your truncated RAAC ending simply does not provide sufficient support to make that ending logical...

3 stars because it is well written even if your conclusion is frankly specious...

Good… very good ending. Enjoyable. Thanks

Very well done but if I would be the guy I’d keep my eyes opened…no one is that naïve.

I have to say, you've remained true to nature with this pile of crap. You haven't written anything worth more than a 2 as yet, and I doubt you will. Shame on the editor for encouraging you to post such drivel.

You did not deal with Strausberg very well.

Hysterectomy will likely not be meaningful to the bitch.

Time for the big guns to wipe her from the earth.

Gave up part way through page two and skipped to page six for the inevitable forgiveness stupidity. Gave you a 2.

Good One.

4.5/5

The right ending to the original.

Well written story. And from my perspective, it can stand on its own from start to finish. I have to say too that readers of these stories need to accept that it is fiction, like Star Wars films, A Long Day’s Journey Into Night, The Egyptian Cross Mystery, etc. Fiction does not demand adherence to the laws of physics or the laws of any given country. It’s entertainment. Grammar, spelling, internal inconsistencies, are fair targets and reasons for a bad review. Lighten up people.

“It did seem childish, at first - what you were doing for revenge, I mean - because women don't think or react that way.”

Apparently, Vera doesn’t know women very well either. Women can be vengeful, spiteful, cruel as well or better than any man. What’s that old saying ….Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. When wronged women extract their pound of flesh or more so to make sure they get even and get one up on the other person. Plus women never forget about being wronged and hold grudges just like men. Complaining about men and their “dick” measuring shit is hypocritical to say the least. Women are just as competitive, jealous and combative with other women if not more so than men are with each other.

Nice try but the plot was just not readable. I scanned the last few pages and knew what I would find at the end.

Okay, I went back and read the original before reading this one. Both were fairly well written. but I have the same criticism for both too....way too long and wordy for an erotic stories website. While they were both decent reads, find somewhere else to post stuff like this, it's not what this website is for.

Great followup to the original story. You write very well!

Oh god i read it all

I'm a f-in moron

This was a good story, and got high marks. Maybe a little drawn out. One thing, I don't see how Vera got pulled in to the whole thing, unless she was dissatisfied with her life as it was. Dunno, maybe everyone has a quantum of dissatisfaction that can be exploited. And: I used a pen recorder in one of my stories. It was an easy way to get information to the protagonist. But I don't believe it would really work, inside a woman's purse. D

Well done

This seemed even more of a cuck-inspired suckoff than the usual George Anderson kind.

I still feel she git away too easily. If it were me I would divorce and then see if she can work her way back to me. It would really show her the pain and the true hurt caused by her prank and YES she did cheat.

I would, however, ask Sal to wait at least a year before he put the move on her. Once she went with ANYONE then it is definitely off for good. Selfish, yes, but thats the way it is.

"Okay," I sigh for effect. "I'll bring it back tomorrow when I come over to see the kids. Make sure you get my gun back from him, and that it's here for me to examine tomorrow as well, or I'll call the police and report it stolen. Legally, it's already been out of my sight too long, so it's my responsibility to say something."

"It is here. I brought it home with me... that night."

"You know what, Vera? Don't answer that. Just go get me the gun so I can pack it for my trip. That's just a small example of how our impending talk is going to go. Now I have to go say good-bye to the kids. I'll be back tomorrow, and I'm spending the night on my sofa so I can see them off to school before heading to Denver."

You never said what happened with the gun.

Gonna have to go with 'Legit Pastria Nostra' here- good comment. I'll even agree with him on giving this a 5 (altho he's never been known to give less), with the caveat that it's actually a 4 plus. Wish Lit would upgrade to a 10 point system. The story went in circles, but was told in an interesting fashion.

Regardless of the stunt..... the husband is written as a psychotic nut job. Time and time again playing the two year old. The husband does not deserve anyone at the end of the story. He can keep playing his 1 inch violin for sympathy.

This was a really good story for me, until the last couple of pages. I don't really know why.

But let me say this up front, the whole story is well written which you always seem to pull off with ease. This story was doing well as a FTDS until in the last 2 pages you took it to the RACC.

RACC in itself is not a bad thing, in my book many stories are strung together well in multiple way that allow the story to come to a full and successful end point. You have even done it a couple really good stories. So I say keep on writing.

Just because I didn't like it does not make it a bad story.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun

I wouldn't have reacted the way Gary did and the basic premise of the prank was a serious stretch in anyones world. However, you had me thinking constantly what I would be doing in each situation and that's the mark of a well written story, regardless of whether I liked where it went. 5*

I kept expecting Dan Akroyd to show up, what with all the driving around in a car blasting messages. Blues Brothers, anyone? I think they did it with the converted ambulance in Ghostbusters as well, but it's been a few decades since I watched that.

The revenge was mostly restrained and a bit odd, but the eventual result was probably closer to what would really go on in real life. Not badly written, but making the wife someone you didn't want to throw off a cliff would be tough to do for the best of writers.

Bullshit forced reconciliation. Lame. 1*

Very good read.

Quite realistic.

Nice work cookingwithgas.

Almost everything she did, including crocodile tears, put her welfare ahead of his.

By that operational definition, she does not love him.

Better, but Reg and the professor got off way too easily. I'm still not clear what she did do with Reg, you should have made that much clearer as it directly impacts on her forgivability. Nice try in any case. Shitty original story.

Ugh. Pointless and took forever to not get to any point.

cookingwithgas is without a doubt one of the better newer contributors on Lit! This posting reinforced that.

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Just so well done! Had me captured to finish in one sitting. I thought he did a great job adhering to tne character of Vera that the original story portrayed. And a very good job showing her transformation from a narcissistic bitch to a remorseful wife. Yeah…it DID happen pretty fast, but still worked.

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One observation: that party where Vera played that video of her “coming clean” on campus — their kids were at that party. They heard their mother basically confess to being a stupid slut. Mmmmmmm.

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Still…great job! One of the best sequels to another’s story I’ve read!

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5 *****

Outstanding!!!!

I thought you were really improving on the original story and then the wheels fell off with lame assed ending. 2/5

I only got to a little bit of page two. The theme song from Mission Impossible was running so loudly through my head that I couldn’t concentrate enough to finish.

I liked it.

A powerful and moving (if improbable) story.

Lot better than creepy original but you blew it with pompous forced-resolution happy ending.

I like the story and writing.

But she sure loves lowering the boom in public. When I read about the party, it was apparent she DIDN'T learn enough.

Ok.

This story was all over the place.

His suspicions were often on the edge of absurd.

Following his attempts at justifying or condemning his wife was a difficult ride.

In short....

TOTALLY BELIEVABLE!

This was that rare story that rides the razors edge!

Great job!

5*

4.5* I enjoyed it but Gary should have gotten a post nuptial with Vera. She is still a loose cannon.

After reading the original I really thought this would go a different way. I really don't look for the same thing others it a reading. Is it good, is it entertaining, and does it keep me want to continue reading. This one did that and more. Very nicely done!!!

I normally don't criticize a story because of the characterization. But, in this case I find myself hating Gary because he so overreacted to the prank. It would seem that Vera had the more realistic mindset. Initially, she thought it was not big thing, ultimately, she throws herself under the bus just to get back a guy that I would describe as a whining asshole. If the story was two pages and ended the same way without out all the "I can't trust you" stuff it would have been better. Sorry to pan the story, nothing personal.

Legio_Patria_Nostra's calculator :

5+++ = 5

5 = 3

3 = 1

A long, long story about nothing. And the story has been done before. Sorry I wasted my time reading 6 pages.

Sorry - I hated this story! Not only was she very cruel and vindictive to him, he then is stupid enough to stay with her - after she, friends and family deliberately manipulate him. I feel very sorry for the children, too! They would have to live with this woman for many years.

It felt very muddled in the middle. So many details and questions. Not really sure all of them got addressed or answered.

Not that it mattered for their relationship. But, where was his gun? What did she do with it when she hid it prior to the original stunt? Did he have it when he left for his business trip? He said those had to happen but, we don't know if they did.

I honestly don't feel like the reader or Gary ever got a beginning to end explanation of everything that happened in a 100% honest way.

When he arrives home he's not sure what he's going to do yet, by the end of the party he forgives her?

A story twice as long as the original yet, it felt much more unresolved at the end.

Good story, thank you. I puzzle (still), though, about your ending. Wife blindsides the husband the first time and all hell breaks loose. The wife blindsides him again the second time, and he forgives her? Seems to me that surprising the husband is a big no no. Oh well, overall I liked the story quite a lot. Thank you!

It had to be long to cover all the bases in the game. Good job addressing more than just the outrage at the stunt, also getting Vera to recognize how close she came to getting conned by a serial predator and exposing some of the mean-spirited tricks employed by misdirected feminists. To quote Pogo: “We have met the enemy and he is us.”

Ed

5 stars to the writer! Great New Finish to the heartbreaking original story! It should go on the "Hallmark" channel! LOL I love a happy ending. Thank You for a Great Read! Such Great Writing. Excellent!

Writing creativity and execution; 5 out of 5.

Variation on a standard trope; 5 out of 5.

RAAC rating; 5 out of 5.

BTB rating; 1 out of 5.

I personally like reconciliation endings when there is sufficient understanding reached between main characters. This mostly achieved that, so Kudos on a good read.

(I just wish she had to give him more down and dirty fucking in penance;)...

More please.

It got a bit tiring after a while and it didn’t really seem to develop as well as it might have. Vera’s final “Mea Culpa” act with her class was good and almost redeemed the dragging middle of the story. Gary did not come off all that well at several places, including the ridiculous adventure with the car and the speakers which just seemed sophomoric.

While I loathe most raac stories, this was not too bad and her apology video did help warrant it. The only thing I can say was that it was longer than it needed to be and with how long the story was, the ending seemed rushed. After the apology video, they quickly got back together. Not saying he should've dragged it out, but the trust and betrayal should've taken alil longer to get over. Counseling should've been a no brainer as well as his healing time. Went from 0-100 in an instant at the end there with no details in-between..

Long boring snooze fest. Somethings you should leave a lone .

Good, but would have liked to see his boss suffer some pain (figurative).

A seriously good story and a fitting end to the original story.

Scores 5/5

An interesting take on a literotica classic (love or loathe the original, it stirred up a lot of comments).

This story was kind of all over the place, with him wanting revenge, then them reconciling at the end. Funnily enough that made it more realistic, as life often sends us a bunch of curve balls one after the other.

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Some people say the husband overreacted, but I don't think so. Vera set out to convince him she was having an affair. Whether the affair was real or fake, the emotional damage was undeniably real. She succeeded in hurting him badly and destroying all the trust in their relationship.

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The wife in the original seemed woefully naive, but she genuinely underestimated how much damage she was doing to her marriage with her prank. She was so wrapped up in her own bullshit, that she seemed convinced he'd just laugh about it later and praise her for writing such a convincing play. I think this sequel did a good job of staying true to the original characters. A divorce would've been going too far in response, but mainly due to how much that would hurt their kids. Vera rode right up to the line... and if she had actually done anything with Reg, I think most men would've curbed the self-centred bitch.

To the raving insufferable assholes who most likely idolize Trump and other liars, get a Fn grip. We were promised something different but we didn't get it. Dickweed needed a penilectomy from the "baddest man in town". And h is wife is a whore in waiting.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ I think this is an example being the bigger man. I love a good BTB if there's just cause, and for me that includes basic intimate touches on flesh. She fucked up, but not over and over. She let some scum and his wing-woman groom her into a dangerous zone, but not to the point of no return. With 3 children to consider, he could have been more mature and not stooped so low. He was right to pay back the three stooges, that was appropriate. But all his BS about honest communication was out the window when he didn't sit her down that first night and hash it out one on one. Good story.

Try well written original and intricate story. Loved the back and forth. His boss must have something on someone…not to get fired. New jobs big bonus that balanced the scales for Gary…

3 stars - and NO Gary did not overreact to the SLUTS horrible prank.

NO married couple should every consider a prank or joke that involves infidelity/cheating.

This story clearly demonstrates why.

The SLUT is very lucky to have been give a second chance.

I would not have offered that possibility.

ONCE&DONE

Too wordy. Could have been done in 750 words.

This story bounced me back and forth between dumping her and giving her a reprieve. Finally at the end with asshole getting his, Gary getting his promotion and the kids having a complete family I agreed with the ending. Loved the Sal character. 5*

Vera admits she was unfaithful!!!!!! Tho there aren't any details. She lied, misrepresented, she was a cheater. Totally cold blooded in decieving hubby on Reg and her relationship. How can anyone e say otherwise? Ghay he came home at all is amazing. She cheated on e she would prob do it again! 5 stars good job

Your first mistake was trying to advance anything by Edrider. Terrible stories. This was overly wrought, too long and too convoluted. It just didn't make much sense to go to those lengths over his wife being stupid. Do something to piss her off and let her know how upset you were with her actions and let that be the end of it.

Creative story and so well told. A tale of anguish, love. and foolishness. You expose the depth of the pain of betrayal. Proper grammar and spelling. Very nicely done.

Quit as MC piece of shit worse than wife. Lied about boss etc

Burn him,her,both who cares!

Not sure why this sequel had to be done. The original wasn't all that great to begin with. It DID take a huge amount of suspension of disbelief to get through it.

If you had trimmed this down to about half of what you gave us and made it less convoluted it might have done better.

Too much of it feel to fully into the cliched world that is LW as well. And while it seems we can never be rid of those, too many make a story tedious, at best, to get through.

Well done. The story took you every where in a good way.

I've read some criticisms from other commentors and I disagree.

I think your character had presence of mind, a measured approach, and integrity.

I am not one who leans towards reconciliation, and this was touch and go... a tightrope walk, but this outcome was supported by the action and motivations quite well. Much, much, much better than the original in that regard.

Being a tale with a little more depth, the length was well justified. Iactually think the pace was well done, I didn't get bored in the slightest.

Anyway, others disagree, so I am probably wrong, but in my opinion, you've made a silk purse from a sow's ear.

Well done

I enjoyed it, so will offer the whiners who don't even write their own double their money back. Would love to see this story from Vera's point of view.

Maybe I'm just insecure, but I think the Very Last practical joke you want to pull on a spouse is to make them believe you are committing adultery. How about a joke where your spouse finds you hanging from a rafter or a tree limb? Or maybe you rig some kind of dummy so your spouse feels their car drive over a bump, and when they get out to look they see what looks like the body of one of their children under the car? What a riot.

I mean the guy can keep the wife if he thinks its worth the risk and the pay off, but I suspect she has other personality issues associated with her mind numbing cruelty and thoughtlessness. But maybe this experience will make her grow up.

But it appears the facilitating Feminazi professor gets off Scott Free? Wrong answer. She should be made to feel the pain of the marriages she facilitated the asshole to break up. That omission is weaker than the semi-cuck taking the semi-whore back Still, it was a fun read. Thanks for the effort.

Very well written and with a few interesting directions, hard to do as an ending for an existing classic. I especially liked how the car in its various guises (wreck, morals advocate, renovated classic) was the centre even the hero of the story. So the strange car went from unwanted and unusable to complete and desirable, bit of a metaphor really!

Good story!

5

4. Pretty good, maybe Gary overreacted but I honestly couldn't blame him. I wish the revenge was a bit more but overall hit the right points. My problem, which really isn't the fault of this author, is just how completely dumb Vera was. While it can be argued Gary overreacted he had good reason to, his wife set out to play with his emotions for some stupid class, to humiliate him. Even if nothing went on that would be too much for some people. The fact that there would be some doubt whether stuff went on made it worse, the trust is gone, for all he knew this was a cover for a real affair. Reminds me of the story where a husband was handcuffed in a basement while his wife and neighbor "pretended" to screw, maybe they did or maybe they didn't but the husband got the impression they did and it hurt just the same as if they really did it.

I admit that I was confused once or twice, but overall I liked it.

Fucken bullshit

In many ways well done. I found it worth the time.

It is sad when readers attack a character as if they owned the story. If you don't want to read what another spent hours in developing for you entertainment, then don't read. IF you thin things should be different, contact the original writer and write your own sequel. See if you can even come close to matching the clever plot line and character development, then criticism.

All I can say in the end: CWG - well done mate! 5/5 Thanks for the entertainment,

This story really sucked me in. I can't explain it so I won't try, but it does mean I'd like you to continue writing here.

It was good. Too much reminiscent monolog at times.

"It is sad when readers attack..." part of a comment by a loser reader. Likewise a loser author. NO WAY could this sorry tale get the score shown with the score being manipulated..

Good story. This guy wasn't a ninja or super rich or a lottery winner. The characters were believable. The friends helped in a way that was possible. Enjoyable. Thank you.

Any aspiring writers who wants to write about a spineless bitch husband, this is the story for you. 1*

Wish there was s 0* rating, as thats what this story would be.

There are many parts of this story that do not hold water

Great job finishing the story

This was a great sequel to a so-so story.

CWG had the MC leaning back and forth so often with his narration, that I was starting to get seasick.

And Vera ... well, Vera turned out to be as stupid as the MC said she was ... she didn't learn her lesson about not setting up her husband, so she went and did it AGAIN with her new "acting production" at the homecoming "to see the kids" near the end. Turning out to be stupid himself, he never realized that, and swallowed it!

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I had hoped this sequel would salvage the wreck that was the original. But it lived down to the original, instead, and was equally as bad. It was actually worse than the original, since this sequel incorporated frequent "false hints" (misdirection), which indicated an outcome that never materialized.

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Maybe Anon who posted the comment just prior to Twentyseven's can explain just how a reader that doesn't like a story is supposed to realize that fact before he reads it, so that he is able to choose to "not read". Although, I admit now, if he CAN explain it (logically, of course), he has discovered a good and useful trick!

2-stars (same as the original story)

From a 3 to a 4 based upon the movie that she put together for her husband and friends. Good thinking!

Interesting....his inability to get his head out of his ass even after his friends, who had his back from the beginning, tried to help him, got really tired. At a point she deserved to tell him to fuck off and go find a better guy. She messed up bad, no contest, she made it worse by not being completely open, but if rolls were reversed and she had been recording his conversations to use against him does anyone think he would have kept trying to fix things....guy's an asshole married to a stupid woman, but in the end they deserve each other.

I liked this sequel a lot , perhaps the best sequel to the EdRider73 story I've read. However, the story would benefit from a shortening of the length f pm 6 to 4 pages . A 5 star vote

The original story presented an interesting quandary, in that Vera wasn't unfaithful or even almost-unfaithful, yet her prank was an incredibly stupid act that could have damaged Gary's trust in her enough for it to erode over time, if not collapse altogether, and ultimately end their marriage. But instead of depicting the deterioration of the marriage, we are presented with a tacked-on near-affair that never happened in the original, to give Gary justification for an immediate reaction that would otherwise have been over the top.

And using a cobbled-together mobile PA system to announce to the world that your wife played a dirty trick on you and you fell for it hook, line and sinker? Might as well just have "I'm a sucker" T-shirts printed up,

I gave it a 4 as I found it to be overly melodramatic and repetitive. Somewhat of a good story but too drawn out for me.