All Comments on 'Strange Diagnosis'

It ended to abruptly and with little detail but otherwise was a decent enough read.

This is my humble opinion:

i dont think it needs a new ending the only thing that you could add is crystal realizing that she was a willing participant at some level in what happened to her and her dealing with the fallout of her actions. does this warrant a sequel? maybe, but what you have left with is sufficient for me. Crystal losses nearly everything for her part in the betrayal of her husband and the husband moves on with a better woman. its actually all neatly wrapped up

Whoa Skippy, this one is really out there. The character of the wife was certifiable, and the husband was just a bit on the slow side. Can't give you more than three on this one. Maybe if you do a sequel?

It would be interesting to see what crystal got up to when she left, obviously she may well have sought further treatment but I think you've got us interested in what she did given how you've ended things, if that was your intention it worked admirably.

You are very inventive! This is one of your wildest stories yet.

5

divorce is a sure bet.but can odds overcome karma. TK U MLJ LV NV

Good story..skippy skippped the ending through PE....

I guess this is supposed to be funny, but it’s just dumb.

A premise fit for George and Gracie, or maybe Lucy and Desi? Maybe not. Oh well.... Fun bit of Sunday morning diversion. “What’s so funny” my wife asks me. Thanks much.

Ooh, that choice of ending was harsh, but oddly fitting.

I think the ending is fine.

She either was lying, and knew it was sex and cheating. Or she was really hypnotized... but with that, that wouldn’t explain why she left town. Maybe he left some post-hypnotic suggestion? But how would he know or plan to have a prepared response for her for just that situation?

No, without knowing the reason why left, it leaves a big hole in the story.

But, very original otherwise. 4-stars

This ending is perfect. I was considering because how stupid the woman was to mess up a good happy life.

Who is it Crystal is aware enough of her family to know her daughter is married and has a baby but doesn't know her husband is remarried?

cracked her head on pavement when she fainted and died before ambulance arrived

Are you trying to tell us, that Ron hypnotized the wife. That just to stupid to be funny

he ended a man's life for a slut. Hummm

Crystal was a broken woman. A gullible woman taken by an evil man but sometimes there is no happy ending. She needs to move on just like everyone else. No one is really at fault here. You could provide her point of view but I don't think that's necessary. The husband did everything he could for her and himself. It's a sad tale but I liked it

I enjoyed most of this. The beginning was funny in its lunacy, silly even. I can see why you thought this was fun to write. I think it fell apart for me at the end. With the antagonist being released and the wife running away it seemed that there was a let down in the plot. I guess she was afraid of the family’s lack of trust or the fact that she really was aware of everything but her absence wasn’t explained nor the way she found out about the grandchild. With all the fun at the start it ended with a disappointing sigh at the end.

It's obvious that you didn't know how to finish the story. The story was great until Ron got released. Than it went off the track. The Johnny Cash truck you just happened to have in the garage and the cigarette and explosion. Your daughter relationship with the detective. Brittany waiting a year and finally the doorbell and your ex. Confused?, I was.

I have to read more of your stories

I could not believe how stupid and gullible she was. The only difference I would make would be that she see a female OB/GYN to verify the medical issue and treatment. Since the cyst was internal it would need medical equipment (ultrasound/MRI/XRay) to verify. I would have the psychiatrist come after the OB/GYN.

so unbelievably numb this woman was that I was insanely amused. As usual your writing is superb. But for her to just show up after all that time, knowing about the grandchild was a stretch and I am glad you ended it that way

I'm not sure what to say about this story. Science fiction? Fantasy? Interesting? Yes, it was interesting, but weird!

The wife was so unbelievable it was a fun read. I agree, you ended it poorly. I tried to think of a good one, but to be honest none of my ideas were any good either. The set up was just too weird. Still gave it a 4... as solid story.

A liberal court in the age of the #metoo movement would not have released a convicted rapist under those conditions. If you're a woman in that situation, you want the most liberal judges you can find.

The story was unique and interesting but for a few serious wholes. Ron had to be a master hypnotist to get the woman so programmed within ~4/10 weeks with ~3hr treatment crap sessions. Ron was doing this to 3 more women at the same time with Crystal, yet, none of them could turn enough states evidence to put Ron away for a long time? None of these treated women got pregnant? The other three husbands did nothing to avenge their wives manipulations?

*

Crystal vanishes for a year and comes back whole not expecting admonishment? She knew of her daughters marriage and pregnancy but not her own divorce and new marriage/replacement-wife?

*

When Crystal awakes from her faint - will she revert to being loony or just reality depressed?!? Still a 5*

Unusual story, but pretty good. Crystal was a messed up lady. I don't think that there was a good way to end this one.

He kills seducer, did she really cheat as you can’t hypnotize someone to do something against there will. Then comes back after a year to say she got herself together. So how did she live for that year away ,what was her income to pay for a yr away. To many unanswered questions.

...telling the truth, ...

Actually, we have no info on that. We got nothing about the other women. All of Crystal's counter-hypnosis treatment, Didn't really prove she hadn't made it up to justify her affair.

If it went down just as we were led to believe, then I like the way Ron 'departed'. It might be interesting to consider the other way around, he was just a prostitute and not a scammer/hypnotist.

Taken at face value, I think the ending was fine as is.

The telling was a little clinical, but it was an interesting premise.

Cluelessly returning home after more than a year and blazingly expecting to be able to reset everything to right automatically is beyond weird on its own. How about if she hears about the child, and returns tentatively, only to find she’s delegated to being the “weird aunt living in the garage?” This would be a BTB but more believable.

As ''far out'' as the premise was, you really captured the reality that fact is often stranger than fiction and this sounds like a number of REAL life stories I've seen or heard. It's just testament to the fact that life is like a soup sandwich for some.

The wife was so over-the-top stupid that I had to laugh. Unless she wasn't stupid - just crazy like a fox wanting an excuse to enjoy an affair with a big cock. The ending was unfinished and I normally don't like that, but in this case there were several choices that would have worked. But you would have caught some flack from readers on whatever ending you chose. So unless you're going to write 3 or 4 endings and give us a choice, this worked as well as can be expected. Thanks for the effort.

More of an outline really; needs more character depth.

or she thought the Hubby was. Ron was right hypnosis can't do what she claimed.

she did what she did, might work in the mind control category not not in L.W .

Drop.

He had ruined other lives already and would have kept doing it. He needed to be stopped permanently. It was for the good of society not just his own family.

Maybe you could have him lock Crystal in the basement of the house?

Just Damn! I like the ending as is. She bolts with no communication? Too bad!

just a nasty slut whore .and dude your not very smart . except in the end you was

Fun read but you need to realize Conservative leaning judges are just as fucking stupid if not more so at times.

I don’t understand these comments. I thought it was clearly understood that she was lying the whole time. He couldn’t have been so cold to her at the end if she was truly mentally ill.

I wish all you Lit authors would quit having women faint all the time. It happened in the old days because corsets were cinched so tight it cut off circulation and made it hard to breathe. That’s not a problem anymore. The only time I ever saw someone “faint” was when a big guy passed out from dehydration during two a days playing football in college. They’re better about that now.

As I read the beginning of this story I thought the story premise was silly initially but then as I got into it it caught my imagination. Could it happen in real life? possibly in some strange way.

As far as the ending is concerned I think it would have been better to switch to Crystals POV of the story so that we got an understanding of why she decided to suddenly disappear and why she stayed out of contact with her family. I could imagine that she felt enormous guilt and embarrassment over what had happened to her and had real problems in dealing with that.

I'm not sure she would have disappeared without leaving a note of some kind to explain why she had run off. I'm pretty sure given her mental condition that the police would have taken her disappearance seriously in that she may have left to commit suicide.

The story could have been much more that it is.

What a mashup. It's not even a story. Why bother posting a story fragment so poorly done and unfinished?

Hilarious!

I see why u enjoyed writing the story. It was heaps of fun.

Please give it another chapter to conclude this comedy.

@Anonymous Re: "Interesting story" - NO! Don't change POV! Use 3rd person if you really feel the need to give her perspective.

Why go thru all of the unrealistic storyline of "She was Hypnotized and her actions were not her fault" and simply have her run away and not be heard of for well over a year and then come back all "healed" and looking better than ever if no reconciliation was going to happen???

Why not just make it come out she was a full-fledged cheater, he tried to forgive her or kicked her out or got a certain amount of revenge and removed her from their lives, she leaves and he and the daughter got on with their own lives???

The premise that she "needed this medical treatment" is so far out there nobody would ever fall for it and Hypnotism, is at best, a suggestive scam. Even so-called, Hypnotists will tell you they can't Hypnotize and make suggestions to anyone that doesn't actually want it to happen. This is because most people are not really "Hypnotized" but merely under a light self-induced suggestive "trance" (for lack of a better word). Hollywood has glorified "Hypnotism" to an unrealistic point that is for entertainment or to advance their storyline.

If Hypnotism was "Real" you would have con artists Hypnotising rich people and have them withdrawing large sums of money or simply transferring their wealth to them. But you don't because it's not real LOL.

Nice try, but this story needed much more thought put into it in order to make it "realistic" and entertaining. The Detective and Daughter romance or the Husband and Brittany romance might have made for a better story if it was used as the main plot and the wife cheating and leaving was just a prologue.

But where has she been and how did she exist or afford to “get better? “

With all of her nonsense about this, I'm really surprised that Crystal didn't get pregnant as a twist in the story. Otherwise, some insightful comments (I concur she was lying, and liked the Lucy/Desi - George Burns/Gracie Allen analogy), and I always enjoy your stories.

Wow. What an ash ole husband.

Wife has real verifiable mental issues and he just discards her like a used tissue. No man who loved his wife would ever move on that fast. Moving on is notbt(e problem. It is the speed. He should have been worried sick and been trying to find his wife instead of moving on with his life.

The lack of real men in most of these stories makes me sick.

even with the glut of crappy cuck stories, this was still a mess. :0/

ENDING HAD A MASSIVE PLOT HOLE... 1st how did the crazy wife know the daughter was pregnant?

If the daughter told her why did the daughter not tell her father that the She was talking to the crazy mother ex wife?

And if the crazy ex wife mother is and contact with the daughter how did Daughter did not tell her mother that she is divorced?

I will comment and score when the story is finished.

P.S. I cannot see a good way to finish it. The ‘Robin’ Crusoe shipwreck story can only be solved by three (or more) person TOTAL agreement. Such negotiations (even any two-way initial discussions) are very unlikely to start. Actually, for any one of the three main parties to even be exhaustive in considering all options!

Addendum

Why did NO character who got involved in this situation (Hubby, Daughter, Detective, Family Friend, Psychiatrist ... Hell, even Sweetie herself) consider the alleged ‘medical condition’ and a second OB/GYN opinion?

was an enjoyable read, Crystal was unrealistically dumb but it made the story fun.

wasn't a fan of the murder and the detective turning the blind eye on it.

I'd opt for a good ending; after Crystal disappeared, she found herself in a good religious community that helped her get better. after waking up from fainting, she talked extensively with Bailey and stays with her. Bailey convinces Bill to talk to Crystal. A few flare ups but they decided to have an amicable relationship. she permanently stays with Bailey to take care of her grandchild, finds meaning at the local religious community doing voluntary work and builds up her relationship with her family again. I don't think a future boyfriend/partner is needed but optional.

I kinda like that ending. :)

Seems like it would be borderline statutory rape having sex with someone that mentally incapacitated.

Made for a funny first half, but the second half tried to play it like it was a normal story, so quite a tone change.

I enjoyed it. How a sane mind could create that plot, is frightening.

Clearly there was no hypnosis, it was an elaborate lie presented consistently enough to convince everyone that she was innocent. That she left immediately after hearing of Ron’s release, says she knew her lies would be exposed. Why nobody questioned Crystal about Ron calling her his GF, is interesting. That Q/A direction might have been entertaining to read.

I don't know why as far as I know nobody has mentioned this, but why not have her go to her ob/gyn? Presumably she would have believed him/her that she had no "condition," and that Ron's "treatments" were bull shit.

She wasn't dumb but extremely clever having an affair and using the treatment excuse to continue.

So it seems like when Crystal found out that Ron was getting released, she probably went to where they were meant to meet up.

Zany plot. Difficult to swallow. Liked the revenge on the perpetrator but killing was too easy.

Not sure this requires any more elaborate ending than what you have here. Call it Done

Odd story. A hypnotist? An affair? A con man? I never was clear. And why do you need a finish? It seemed a little rushed to get his daughter married and pregnant. AND for him to get a divorce. Seemed like a rushed timeline. Glad he moved on from the crazy bitch.

Soomeone got his brain penetrated ...

I gotta say, while reading this fine tale I constantly oscillated between feeling, 'Surely, no woman is as delusional as the wife in this story' and 'I wonder how this Skippy guy met my ex wife?'

If none of the endings rang a bell, did you qualify for the No Bell prize?

A very unique twist on the LW genre. Truly maddening. Thank you for your time and talent. DMW

I don't understand how she could leave the psychiatrist's office still believing that she was okay.

Leave it as is. More is just overkill.

I enjoyed the story, funny goofy and unique. However, I agree with you that the ending seems somewhat abrupt. Often I think many good writers should do their outlines but perhaps work on their endings first so they can put more into them. Still 5

It was just too stupid for me to get into or enjoy, sorry⭐️

My idea is to not publish until you have the ending at least in mind.

You got a good idea here but the ending was just too wird. You could go one of two directions; happy ending with a stupid wife or finding out she knew all along.

Why didn't she contact him during the year? If the release from prison trigger her leave, didn't she hear he died?

It was a pretty sad story. The husband going after Ron instead of trying to find his wife was a little strange as well. The fact that she could disappear for a whole year on just 500 dollars is pretty implausible. I don't know. I felt like there should have been a happier ending because it feels like in this story, even though Ron died, the evil he did is still impacting the lives of MC and Crystal.