Strangers on a Plane

The announcement came that the gate for the flight to Mumbai would be closing in 5 minutes and I was in a panic as I had lost track of time looking for a read for the long flight from Toronto to Mumbai. Now I had to rush to board the plane. My handbag and suitcase were flailing all over the place as I found myself running for the gate.

I made it to the gate with moments to spare as the attendants seemed ready to close up and get the flight ready. They saw me at the last minute and stopped and waited for me. I could only imagine the sight I presented as my hair was a mess with my bags being thrown about as I ran towards the gate. I was usually a lot more elegant in my appearance.

I made it on to the plane and I walked down the aisle to my seat. I found my seat and the cabin crew helped me to stow away my luggage. My seat was next to a casually dressed gentleman who picked up his magazine from my seat. I gave a courteous, "Hi", and a nod as I took my seat.

He reciprocated introducing himself, "Hi. My name is Irfan. I am sorry. I didn't think anyone was sitting here."

I held up my book for him, "I was held up as I picked out a read for this flight almost forgetting the flight. My name is Priya and I am pleased to make your acquaintance."

He laughed at my predicament, "I hope the book is worth it. I was dreading this long flight also. Now I regret not bringing more than this magazine. It is my first time going to India and I feel under prepared."

He seemed so hopeless and I tried to suppress a laugh, "You will find yourself never prepared enough for a trip to India. I have been going since I was a child but I am still finding I need something that I cannot find in India. I hope you don't mind but can I take the window seat? I become claustrophobic in the aisle seat."

I tried getting a window seat but as I was one of the last to book and by then all of the window seats were taken, "Yes. Of course." He said in an easy manner and I liked that he did not make a fuss over my request.

I moved over to the window seat and I felt myself relax as I could see out of the window. We settled in for the flight and Irfan seemed a little nervous like it was his first time flying. I did not want to mention it as to not make him uncomfortable.

He was reading his magazine as the flight took off and we settled into the flight. There was something about him that intrigued me and I nudged him to get his attention, "I hope you do not mind me asking. Why is this your first time going to India?"

He smiled at me and said, "Well I was born and raised in Toronto. During my early years my parents rarely went back. During my teens they began to visit but I had my own interests by then and it never appealed to me to visit India."

He sounded like a bit of a coconut, "What made you visit now?"

He looked a little nervous as he said, "It is slightly embarrassing. Well, I am getting married."

I was confused, "What is embarrassing about marriage?"

His voice went a little quieter, "It is not the marriage itself. But...well...it is an arranged marriage. I just find the whole idea embarrassing. But I had a whole deal with my parents and here I am."

I burst out laughing, "I am sorry. I am not laughing at the arranged marriage. I just thought you had some big secret. But a lot of people have an arranged marriage. I did some years ago. So what was this deal with your parents?"

He had a sense of relief, "I just feel embarrassed about it. It makes me sound like a loser. I haven't told any of my friends. Well the deal was that if I was not married by 30 they would arrange it. Well 3 months ago I hit 30 and I was not married."

I looked at him a little surprised, "Don't tell me your birthday was 10th February?"

He looked at me with a confused, "It was in fact 10th February. How did you know?"

I was so blown away, "You have to be kidding me. Has someone put you up to this?"

He was confused, "What do you mean?"

Was it just coincidence, "I turned 30 on the same date."

He began laughing, "You are messing with me. You look nowhere close to 30. You cannot be older than 25."

I was knocked off balance by the compliment and lost for words, "Well I did. Maybe it is a strange coincidence that we both live in the same city and share the same birthday but have never met until today."

He had a smile, "Seeing as we are going to India I think the word for it is Kismet."

I laughed at his use of kismet as it reminded me of white people that visit India and come back as enlightened hippies, "You are such a coconut. No Indian says things like that or says it in that way."

I went back to reading as he asked, "Why am I a coconut? What does that even mean?"

I had only met this person and I had already offended him, "It is just you sound like a white guy. You should see the cities like Mumbai and see the life. Just forget it I did not mean anything by it. Just forget I said anything."

He went back to reading his magazine and seemed slightly annoyed at me. I did not want this to turn into an awkward flight as it was long.

I felt myself nodding off when I felt a nudge, "Hey Priya, can I ask you something?"

He seemed to have finished his magazine already but it was never going to be enough for a long flight like this, "Yes sure."

He was contemplative, "You said you had an arranged marriage. How is your husband? What is your relationship like? I hope you do not mind me asking. I am just nervous. I have only ever had normal dating relationships and I have never even met the girl I have to marry and spend the rest of my life with."

I was subdued as I was on the brink of sleep moments ago, "I usually do not talk about it but we are strangers on a plane so I guess I have nothing to fear."

I paused for a moment trying to think of the best way to explain but I could feel him expecting a response. I lifted my hand to show him my bare hand, "I am probably the wrong person to ask anyway. We were introduced through an aunty. We met up a few times and I was feeling pressure from my parents to marry. I had focused on my career until then and only dated a few guys but nothing long term or serious. I was never a romantic at heart but I took the plunge into marriage as I felt that pressure from society and my parents but we were divorced within 6 months. I am not the example of a happy arranged marriage."

He was a little dumbfounded and shocked, had I trampled on his dreams, "I am sorry to hear that. I have had a few relationships in the past but I never felt that 'Wow, I am in love,' feeling and then my parents have now made the decision for me. They always say you learn to fall in love through marriage."

It always gets me down talking about my failed marriage but he made me giggle in his naive way, "I think Indian parents all get the same handbook. I had the same words said to me but I have never believed in love. My husband learned to love after marriage but it wasn't me. He was having an affair with his colleague."

He was shocked and instinctively held my hand, "I cannot believe he did that. That must have been terrible."

I had this sadness as I thought about it but I came back to reality, "I don't think your future wife will be happy with you holding a stranger's hand."

He did not let go, "I have spent more time with you than my future wife. It is only human to feel empathy even though we are strangers."

The way he looked at me in that moment sent chills down my spine and I did not want him to let go but I also needed him to let go at the same time. It was then that one of the cabin crew announced, "If we have any doctors on board please come to the front of the plane."

It was at this moment he let go and said, "I am sorry. I need to go."

He was a doctor? The way he was dressed in sweatpants and a t shirt and his floppy hair I thought he was some tech guy or hipster type.

I was awoken from my slumber a while later as he returned to his seat, "I am sorry I woke you. I will try to be quiet if you want to get back to sleep."

There was something about him that when he was there I did not want to do anything else but talk to him, "Where did you go?"

He was apologetic, "I am sorry for leaving in a hurry. They had an emergency at the front. But now you have my undivided attention."

I smiled at him, "So you are a doctor. I would have never guessed."

He asked, "Now you know what I do. What do you do for a living?"

I hated talking about my work, "I am a lawyer. We both are every Indian parents dream."

We both laughed before he added, "Only if we were married before 30."

I literally guffawed at this. We were on a similar level in terms of our thoughts and our humour worked well together. I asked him out of curiosity, "Why did you never think of marrying one of your ex-girlfriends?"

He was lost in thought for a moment before saying, "I would never be this honest but we are strangers on the plane as you said and I guess it makes it easier to just open up. Real life relationships are different. You have to date and then move in and then when you are ready you marry. I just never got there with anyone."

I would never be this open with someone I knew as I would be afraid of being judged, "There is something in being strangers that helps to just talk openly. What happened in your relationships that they never moved on to the last stage?"

He had this calm sincerity in his eyes,"As we are being honest, I will start at the beginning and tell you about my past relationships. Rachel Hernandez was my high school crush. We dated in our senior year. She was my dream girl but I was just filled with hormones and no emotion at that age can be trusted. We dated and she was my first but then I moved to Calgary to study and well I was too immature for a long distance relationship."

I asked curiously, "Do you think she had stronger feelings for you?"

He seemed unsure, "I am not sure. I just think it was a high school crush. I am still in touch with some old friends and I think she was married a few years ago. My next relationship was in college. In college I dated Michelle Johnson and we were kinda serious. We dated for 2 years but then college ended and we went to our home towns and it seemed to be just a college thing for her. We never really went beyond the idea of just dating to anything else."

I had to stop him here, "You dated her for 2 years. That is a big commitment. You cannot brush that off as easily as your high school crush. So tell me why it did not work out? What went wrong? Why you stayed together for so long if it was not going to work out?"

He realised I was not going to let him get away with easy answers. It was the lawyer within me. He seemed to think for a while and then said, "I guess it was comfortable. We were both studying together. We had a similar circle of friends and we had a little bubble. But I think back to what you said about love not being real. I think it is real but I just did not find it here. Well in 2 years we never really said, 'I love you', it was always the off term 'love ya', and we never really had a deep conversation. We knew each other on the surface but we never really connected on a deeper level. I guess when we moved back to our hometowns and back into the 'real world' we realised that we were only together because we were in a comfortable bubble."

He took a deep breath and then said, "Wow. I have never thought that deep about something before. It makes you think."

I felt that hearing him was also helping me process my relationships, "What happened after Michelle? Did you give up?"

He was a little sheepish, "Well not quite. I had a few short term relationships and then lastly I dated Angela for 6 months. But it never got passed the initial stages and it was nothing serious."

He was being honest and I mean really honest, "Wow. You never dated a desi girl. Now I know why you are such a coconut. You must have been in love with at least one?"

He giggled at my dig, "If I am honest I don't even think I believe in love talking about it now. I mean I put it this way high school crush is just hormones. You are too young to understand anything. If I was going to fall in love with anyone it was Michelle. We even moved in together for a while during our final year but we were on different planes of thought. She was too mature for me at that time and we just never got to that stage where I was like 'yes, I am in love', it was always just comfortable. With Angela it was just pure sex and there was no connection beyond physical. Do you want to talk about your relationships?"

I was surprised by his description of the relationship with Angela, "You dated for 6 months. How is that just sex in the whole six months?"

He had a little grin and saw me look at him scornfully and wiped it off, "Let me explain. We met at a conference. She was older than me and more mature. We were drunk one night of the conference and it had been a tedious afternoon. Anyway one thing led to another and we ended up in her room. We would meet on random days up to 3 to 4 times a month. It was always in hotel rooms and we just had sex all day. I only realised later that she was married with 2 kids and I broke off our arrangement."

I thought to myself nothing good comes from the phrase 'one thing led to another', "Wow. It was just sex. Do you regret not connecting more?"

He said, "I don't think there was a connection. I guess if there was you would just know. Do you want to talk about your relationships?"

In my career I always had my guard up but he had been so honest that I felt I could open up, "I have never believed in love. I am a lawyer and I specialise in divorce so I know there is no real love when it comes to the end. Similar to you my first boyfriend was in high school. He was another Indian student. It was just a date to the prom and ice cream dates. I was innocent for a long time. It was in college when I had my first real boyfriend. He was a black guy. I thought I was in love but it was just hormones and I fell for his bullshit. It was only later I found out he was cheating on me with half the campus. I then dated Arvind for about a year. He was a professional and we made a good match on paper but then he ended up marrying someone introduced to him at a wedding. Men will always want what they cannot have. That was my last real relationship before my marriage as I became engrossed in trying to make it as a lawyer. My lack of time to do anything else meant my options were limited and I was not interested in sleeping with colleagues. As a woman it is hard enough to be taken seriously in my profession at the best of times."

I wondered if he was listening or he had lost interest, "Do you know what is crazy? Our lives are so similar. We have followed a similar path in our lives."

I tilted my head to the side, "Well let's hope your marriage does not follow the same path."

He then began laughing, "You know I love your sense of humour. Did you not love any of your ex boyfriends?"

I was just saying what I felt and I had never talked so honestly about these things before, "I think love is something people say to justify staying in a bad relationship or to make someone happy. But we are all selfish beings motivated by other desires."

He looked at me a little surprised, "You are really candid sometimes but I like it and I wish more people were like you. I cannot say if love is real but I know that I have never felt it. So maybe you are right. I look back at my relationships and there was never that moment where I felt we could sacrifice our selfish natures. But would you marry again?"

He was asking me questions that cut deep but I felt compelled to answer. It was the first time in my life I had been so open about myself with someone, "I have thought about it. My parents often mention it but I do not like being seen as damaged goods. I know how people talk about me in the community. I am seen as some kind of pariah because I am a divorcee. So I do not want to put myself in such a position again where I open myself up to the judgment of others."

He seemed to understand me as he said, "You do not want to make yourself vulnerable again."

It was true and I did fear being let down again in the way I had in the past. An announcement came that we were preparing to land and the conversation was lost. The flight went quicker than I expected and I felt in an emotional state at how deep our conversation had gotten and I wondered if he felt something similar.

We through customs and I told him my parents would be picking me up. He had a connecting flight and there was a slight awkwardness between us as we were unsure how to say goodbye. He then said, "You were the best company I could hope for. Hopefully we will meet again. Maybe back in Toronto?"

There was another awkward pause as I knew we would probably never meet again, "Maybe we will."

I walked away disappointed in a strange way to be parting from this stranger I had just met.

My father was waiting for me at the exit and I was happy to see them again. I only saw my parents once every year or 2 as they chose to retire in India. I had already established my career and I felt abandoned. They had raised me in Canada and they were then leaving me there as they went back home to retire. It was lovely to see them though and nothing beats my mother's cooking.

The first night I was feeling the jet lag and got an early night after the initial catching up. It was when I was alone in my bed that my mind went back to the flight. I could not stop thinking about the interactions with Irfan; there was something between us where we could open up to each other. I had never spoken to someone so openly about my life and it gave me a new perspective on my own future. I felt a glow within me as I thought about Irfan, he had a deceptive charm and he was handsome. He had these dimples when he smiled and his laugh was infectious and come to think of it I do not remember having such pleasant company in a long time. It then dawned on me and I said to myself in exasperation more than anything, "Oh God. It was typical me to develop feelings for someone that was getting married in a week."

I always had a way of wanting what I could not have. I was not going to see him again and I had to simply enjoy my time here with my parents. I was speaking to my mother over tea the next day when she remarked, "There is something different about you. I don't know what it is but I just find you smiling to yourself."

Every time I thought back to Irfan it brought a smile to my face but I could not tell my mother or she would think I was more of a lost cause thinking about a man that was about to be married, "I am just thinking of a funny book I read on the plane. So what do you want to do today?"

She turned to my father who was nodding off reading the newspaper and raised her voice to waken him, "I was hoping to go to the cinema today. There is a new film out that I wanted to see."

I thought to myself I had come all the way to the home of Bollywood to watch a Bollywood movie in a cinema. I could have done this in Toronto but this time was about my parents and it was nice to just be able to see them and spend time with them. My father woke up as he heard my mother, "Yes. Yes. The new Shahrukh Khan movie. Your mother's favourite actor. How could we miss his new release?"

My mother smiled as she had my father wrapped around her finger and I knew my father hated the cinema. My parents had a quiet life on the outskirts of Mumbai. They had owned a convenience store in Toronto but once I had qualified and started my career they announced they were selling the store and retiring. I was upset as I had worked in the store in my younger days and it was a part of my childhood. But I always knew they missed their home and wanted to return one day. My parents were from an older generation and for them things like arranged marriages and love was never a concern. They just got on with life and did what they had to do.