Submitting to Satin Ch. 01

"Don't date your tenant?"

"Right, and I am not normally drawn to beautiful women with lovely legs. I know you were with a female partner, you probably find the whole idea of being with a man as repulsive. I know that many cross dressers are still heterosexual."

"I am attracted to women, but Peter you do not repulse me. As you said I have just left a relationship. I don't want to rush into anything. I really like spending time with you too. You are compassionate and sensitive. You have helped me a lot. I feel safe with you: that's why I can sit here in a skirt."

What would it be like to kiss a man? To kiss Peter? Did I want to take another step? Was I ready for this? I made a decision. I stood, straightened my skirt. I walked around the table. Peter also stood unsure of what was going to happen next. I felt empowered. I took a breath.

"Peter, please kiss me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," I declared simply.

He took my hands. He pulled me close. He had to bend his head even though I was wearing heels. I felt his lips brush mine, fine stubble brushed against my chin. I closed my eyes and surrendered to his embrace. He was warm and felt solid. He gently explored my mouth with his own, our tongues met and struggled for dominance. I must admit that I was mentally aroused by this development, but my genitals did not respond. We took a break for air. Considering Peter is a giant of a man, he was very gentle. There was no force involved.

"Wow, you are a good kisser," he said stroking my cheek.

I bit my lip unaccustomed to compliments. My girlfriend had never said things like that.

"You are pretty fantastic too. So have I converted you to fancying girls, or at least boys in skirts?" I teased resting my head against his chest.

"Maybe, have I converted you to fancying men?" he asked in return.

"I don't know, but I did like kissing you," I admitted.

"I don't want to do anything to hurt you or offend you. I liked kissing you. I want to kiss you again."

I looked up into his big brown eyes. I kissed him. It felt good to be held in strong arms. I felt the satin underwear rub gently against my skin. We kissed for a long time. I felt his cock swell against me. I finally pushed back.

"Sorry, too much, not intended," he apologised.

I think I blushed.

"Peter, it's okay. I was just a little surprised, I'm sort of excited that I had that effect on you, but I am not ready to go further."

"I understand."

"I'm going to bed. Thank you for a lovely evening."

He stepped forward. He kissed my hand.

"Sweet dreams Paula," he whispered.

"Sweet dreams to you too."

What dreams would I have?

*

It was Friday. I woke, dressed in my gym clothes. I took my now regular early morning walk. I returned without incident. I showered and dressed ready for another busy day. I hadn't seen Peter since our 'first date', but I looked forward to seeing him this evening. I was fully feminised and practised with my makeup. It was okay, but not as I wanted it to look. I added my wig. I headed for my office and sat at my computer.

I had two distinct, separate accounts: one for work and one for personal stuff. I created a third one under my Paula identity for my special activities.

I visited the web. I made some new purchases. A pair of ladies black trousers, two new skirt suits, several blouses, three dresses, three pairs of higher heeled shoes. I also added heeled knee high boots and a pair of flat zip up boots. I ordered a makeup bag to keep my cosmetics tidy. I then looked at butt plugs. I selected a triple pack which went from small to large. I didn't know if I this was something I would like, but wanted to experiment. I also bought a penis shaped dildo. I submitted the orders.

I switched to the work account. I concentrated on my work for the remainder of the day. I was focused and time flew by. I took several phone calls from my client. Everyone was more than happy with progress. I logged out of my works account.

I heard the front door. I stood and headed to greet Peter. He was stood checking the post I had set on the table near the door.

"Hi," I called from the stairs.

"Hello beautiful," he replied.

"How was your day?" I asked continuing my descent.

"Much better now I am seeing you."

"I bet you say that to all the girls."

"Nope, only you!"

I met him at the bottom of the stairs.

"So what do we do now?" he asked.

"Well, darling, I thought you would kiss me hello."

He smiled. We embraced and shared a long kiss.

"I think I like coming home and seeing you. You smell lovely."

"I missed you this morning," I admitted.

"I was up early: I had trouble sleeping, so I went for run, then went directly to work. Early start means early finish."

"You have lots on your mind to stop you sleeping?" I asked concerned.

"Yes, you!" he admitted with a grin.

"Oh! Sorry!"

"Don't be sorry."

"What were you dreaming about?"

"I'm not telling you," he replied with a laugh.

"You had naughty thoughts about me?" I asked surprised by the admission.

He blushed.

"Sorry, I am making this weird."

He kissed me again.

"So what are your plans for this evening?" I asked.

"I need food. Have you eaten?"

"No, not yet."

"Join me for pizza?"

"Do you live on takeaways?"

"Mostly," he admitted.

"Peter, you need vegetables in your diet. Next week when I cook I will make extra for you."

"Pizza has vegetables- tomatoes, peppers and onions," he defended.

I shook my head.

"I am a huge disappointment I know," he said.

"No, you're not. Remember you said to me about negativity: that needs to apply to you too."

"Yes, my lady. I think I have a pack of stir fry vegetables, some chicken and some noodles."

"Okay, what do you want me to do?"

"Come and sit, look pretty and talk to me while I cook," he suggested.

We chatted about our day, food, cooking and restaurants while Peter cooked and served the meal. It was very tasty. We tidied the kitchen and the headed to the lounge. We sat close to each other.

"May I ask you something?" he asked.

"Sure, what's on your mind?"

"What does it feel like wearing tights?"

"They feel soft and silky. They feel much better on shaved legs. Do you want to borrow a pair?"

I took his hand and placed it on my knee.

"It may surprise you that I have never touched a woman's leg before. You are right it feels soft, silky and warm."

"It may surprise you that you are the first man I have allowed to touch my legs. This is nice," I said as I leaned my head against Peter's shoulder.

Peter's hand moved a little further up my thigh.

"I guess we are both learning new things. You want to go out dancing?"

"No, I am quite comfortable right here."

The idea of being outside was exciting, but absolutely terrifying.

"You want to watch a movie?"

"I'd like that."

The movie started, but I don't remember much about it as I fell asleep. I woke as I was in motion. I was in Peter's arms. I was being carried upstairs. I have never been cradled like this before- Peter's strong arms were around my body with my head against his chest. I felt strangely protected.

"What...?" I called in surprise.

"It's okay. You fell asleep. I was going to lay you on your bed. I wasn't taking advantage, I swear."

"Oh."

I didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed.

"Please put me down."

"Sure."

He set me gently onto my feet.

"I hope you know you are very special to me. I would never do anything without your explicit consent."

"I believe you and I trust you: you just... surprised me. I'm sorry I fell asleep."

"You were either very tired, or just comfortable in my presence."

I smiled. We kissed and I went to my room.

"Goodnight Peter."

"Goodnight Paula, sleep well."

I took off my heels. I set them by the wardrobe. I visited the bathroom, performed my nightly ritual including the removal of my makeup. I then returned to my room and closed the door. I hesitated. Should I lock it? No, I said trusted Peter: I meant it. I removed the wig and undressed. I slipped into my satin nightwear. I quickly fell asleep. I was content.

My dreams were erotic: images of naked bodies both male and female writhing together. I was kneeling before Peter with his penis close to my face. I woke with a start fully aroused. What did all this mean? I struggled with sleep for the remainder of the night. By morning I was exhausted. I dressed in jeans, shirt and a hooded top. I called Arwen and asked if I could visit. She was happy to have another movie night. I put some clothes into a ruck sack, added my breast forms, makeup bag and my heeled shoes.

I headed into town. I bought a set of black lacy lingerie and stockings. It was strange I felt very comfortable buying lingerie for a friend in person, yet I had bought the lingerie for myself on-line. I wondered if other cross dressers experienced similar conflicts. I grabbed some chocolates and a bottle of wine. I met up with some friends, Jeremy who I had known since school and Matt, a work colleague for coffee. What would they think if they knew the contents of my bag? It was mid-afternoon when I arrived at Arwen's apartment.

"Hey, good to see you, come in."

"Good to see you too."

Arwen was wearing a midnight blue flowing dress, black tights and ballet flats. Her hair was tied in a pony tail that danced as she moved.

"I come bearing gifts."

"That's very thoughtful, but you don't have to bring me presents every time you visit."

I handed over the wine and chocolates.

"I also have this for you," I said handing over the gift wrapped lingerie.

"What's this," she asked with a giggle.

"It's just a little something to say a big thank you."

"Oh, it is little. No-one has bought me knickers for a long time. Oh, and a bra and suspender belt and stockings. You want to see me wear them?"

"Yes, well no, not if you don't want to."

"I want you to see me. You want to dress up again?"

"Yes, I would like that, and I have another favour to ask."

"Okay let's get dressed first and then we can talk."

She led me to the bedroom. She removed her dress, stripped naked in front of me, then dressed in the new underwear. The lacy lingerie looked amazing on her.

"How did you know the sizes?"

"I checked the labels last time I was here."

"Oh, sneaky! But also very clever."

"I wanted to do something special for you."

"You are special. Thank you. Oh, I forgot one of the tags, please can you snip it for me?"

"Sure," I agreed cutting a tag from her waistband.

"What do you think?"

"I think you look amazing. It would be even better with the dress."

She slipped into the dress. I zipped her.

"Thank you, they feel lovely. So what do you want to wear?"

I felt my face grow warm. I was certain it was very red. She lifted my chin and stared deep into my soul.

"Paul, you can tell me anything. I love you and will never judge you."

I collected my bag.

"I need to talk to you about this. I have bought myself some clothes," I admitted retrieving the dress and underwear from the bag.

"Dress for me," she suggested.

I undressed down to my panties which I had worn under my jeans.

"Oh, you are all nice and smooth," she observed.

"Yes, I shaved."

I put on the bra, suspender belt and stockings. I inserted the breast forms

"What do you think?" I asked.

"I think you are very cute. The boobs give you an even better shape. Put the dress on."

I completed my dressing and slipped into the shoes.

"I love the look."

We hugged.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"I wanted to share this with you. I also have a request. Will you help me with make up? Teach me?"

"Sure. Let's do it now."

We spent the next hour or so going through make-up techniques. Arwen was really patient with me. Finally she was satisfied.

"I think you are ready to party."

"Hi, I am Paula," I introduced myself.

"Yes you are! I'm really pleased to meet you. You want to dance with me Paula?"

"I would like that."

We danced around her living room. The music changed to a slow song. Arwen pulled me close. She kissed me full on the mouth.

"I'm really turned on," she admitted.

I turned and wiggled my bum at her.

"You are a tease Miss Paula! I really want play time now."

"What can I do?" I asked.

"I can't ask you."

"Sure you can, you can ask me anything, I won't judge you either," I assured her.

"I really want sex, but I really prefer..."

"Girls, I know."

"Well yes, but also..."

I waited.

"Do you like oral?" she asked.

"Yes," I admitted.

"Giving?"

"You want me to please you with my tongue?" I asked sticking my tongue out seductively.

"Is that strange?"

"No more weird than me wearing a dress."

She kissed me again before leading me to her bedroom. We lay on the bed. We kissed a lot. She lifted her dress removing her knickers. I knelt between her legs admiring her smooth body. I kissed her soft tummy and tongued her belly button. I nibbled the inside of her thighs moving my way upwards. She brushed my hair as I worked towards her intimate parts. I licked, sucked and nibbled. I was really enjoying pleasing my friend.

"Oh, girlfriend, that is the spot."

I deliberately moved away: then came back.

"Oh, Paula, you are a naughty girl. Oh! Oh! No, don't stop!" she moaned.

I liked being called a girl. I giggled. I sucked hard on her rosebud. I explored all of the little folds and creases with my tongue and lips. Our play time lasted around twenty minutes climaxing with a loud orgasm from Arwen. She rolled on top of me. We kissed some more. I have to admit I liked the feeling of someone on top.

"I think I love you as a girl."

"Do you love me, or do you love the sex?" I asked.

"You're right I loved the sex. I haven't had sex for ages. I do love you though. I have always loved you, just not in that way. You want me to return the favour?"

She rolled off me. She cuddled up. I adjusted my position so we lay side by side holding each other.

"No, now I know you don't like boys. I wouldn't make you do that, but I appreciate the offer. You are my best friend."

"So Paula, are you looking for a boyfriend?"

I blushed.

"You are, you naughty minx. You have an eye on someone?" she teased with a laugh.

My face gave me away.

"You do!" she whispered all serious again.

"Maybe," I allowed.

"Is this what you wanted to talk about?"

"Yes, I can't talk to anyone else."

"You know you can tell me anything. I will take your secret to my grave: that's a pinky promise."

"You know Peter: who I rented the rooms from?"

"Yeah."

"Well he caught me while I was dressed."

"Oh, has he forced you to do something?"

"No, it's nothing like that! He has been very sweet. We had a sort of date night. I like him. He is intelligent, gentle and funny."

"And?"

"We kissed."

Arwen smiled.

"So he likes you too?" she queried.

"It's complicated."

"It always is babe. He doesn't like your friends, you don't like his. Family: same thing! He has a thing and you have a thing. He leaves the toilet seat up, you need it down. Well you know what I mean!"

I laughed.

"What do I do?" I asked.

"Well that all depends."

"On?"

"Where you think the relationship is, where you want it to go. How does he feel about dating you? What his intentions are? You've kissed, but do you want sex, if you do, how far do you want to go? It's no different to 'normal' dating, common ground, interests, when you are both ready for the next step. You can tell him from me if he hurts you: I will hunt him down and cut his balls off!"

"Thanks for listening. So what do you think comes next?"

"You want to have sex with him?"

"I don't know. I mean I still like girls."

"And I like it that you like girls," she giggled.

"You are a lot of help," I said slapping her thigh playfully.

"Oh, don't, I like that."

"You like being spanked?" I joked.

"Yes, I like a little slap and tickle. It gets the blood flowing," she giggled.

"I keep finding new things about you."

"Ah, ditto, girlfriend."

We laughed.

"You want that wine?"

"Yes, I would. What are we eating?"

"Pizza?"

"You're as bad as Peter."

"I like pizza. Okay, how about I call to that Greek place- lamb shish kebab thing on naan bread with lots of salad?"

"Now that sounds better."

"You want some meat balls with that?"

"If you are referring to koftes, yes please, if you mean anything else not for now," I qualified.

"Okay, extra balls with fancy names for the flirty minx."

It was a lovely evening just chatting over dinner with wine. We talked a lot about my thoughts and feelings. What did I want? What other changes I would make. Would I have surgery? We sat in the lounge and watched a movie.

"It's getting late, do you want to stay over?"

"Crash on your sofa?"

"Yes, or use the spare room or you can share my bed."

"I didn't think we were friends with benefits?"

"I guess we had boundaries before because of the she who will not be named. Anyway why not? No pressure if you don't want to, but we're consenting adults who are unattached. I can lend you a nightdress."

"Okay, may I use some makeup remover?"

"Sure, of course."

"You want some more sexy time?" I asked.

"Oh, yes, if you feel up to it, but what about Peter?"

"I feel up to it. For now the Peter situation is for tomorrow. Thank you for your advice."

"I love you babe. I want you to be happy as you. You can talk to me about anything anytime."

"I love you too."

We retired to the bedroom. We undressed each other. Arwen slipped a pink chemise over my head while she chose a scarlet one. We slipped between the cool sheets. It would be several hours before we actually slept.