by apollo393867
I enjoyed reading this for the flow of information. Word selections need a lot of critical thinking. Occasionaly lost trck of who was thinking what during my reading. I suppose you will get better scores and fewer adverse remarks by putting the next section down for 2 whole days and then reading it slowly. I can tell by the ideas and the maznner in which your characters relate to one another that you have a gift for dtory telling and a little tweaking will help.
Gave you a 4, but it was probably more along the lines of 3. Just wanted to encourage your effort.