All Comments on 'Subway Ride'

I of course always wonder if my fantasies are just perverse, but your stories make me realize that even if they're perverse, I'm not the only one who has them. YOUR STORIES ARE SO HOT!! I'd write more, but it's hard to do so with only one non-sticky hand. PLEASE WRITE MORE (but do get an editor ? your stories should be as flawless as they are hot).

Great story, love the way it was written in his n her voices. Really effective and truly perverse. Thanks!

I really loved this. I had a lover do something like this to me. We worked at a police station and he dragged me into a cell and used a gun instead of a knife. Oh yes, it did feel great having the gun just push into my wet cunt. Its amazing how wet one can get while being raped.

GOD THAT WAS TORTURE! I finaly just gave in. i would write about how fantastic that was but my left hand is a little wet.....THANKS SOO MUCH!

with both characters written in the first person it's distracting and unenjoyable. I don't want to have to interupt the fantasy to figure out who's talking or thinking.

You seriously need professional help if you enjoyed this terrible, sad, sick, disgusting story.

Why dont you look at the genre of stories before you read if you dont like reluctance/rape then dont read about it! otherwise own up and enjoy! Great story, cant wait for more.

Dual first person is an awful perspective. Way too confusing for me even without the typos and misspellings. Thumbs down on a poor job.

good writing leaves one with strong emotions good or bad when reflecting on the piece. thats why i love this work, it gets my blood flowing, but has much room for improvment!

"Michael watched her enter the subway car. He has been waiting for someone like her all day. He had ridden this particular route four times today. I came up behind her, my cock hard, pushing against your ass."

I THINK that there are only two characters in this paragraph, although

1.) Michael/he

2.) her

3.) I

4.) your

I'm just laughing too hard to really stroke it

really good.....have him mount her again on another train....this time make her be more amenable!

While I do appreciate the.. brutality of this story, the horrible grammar was very distracting. I couldn't understand who was who. And also, there is something called "verb-tense agreement." I suggest you look it up. Besides that, it might've been a great story. Don't give up, but don't keep writing such shitty pieces. Leave the idea out there for someone who knows what they're doing.

I absolutely loved the story... it is hot, inventive, and compelling. However, what on earth made you want to write it with alternating views like that? There is creative license, then there is just plain confusing and unfortunately you fall into the latter. You need to firmly understand the rules before you break them and in this case, the story would have been near perfect if it had just been written in English!

Please, please find an editor... because your story otherwise was excellent. An editor could make it readable as well!

Agreed with most reviewers re: writing style and choice of using second person pronouns for both characters, but was actually able to finally get used to that. Main problem I had was actually at the end when the two guys came up and made the girl suck them off. At that point she was still standing, with hands cuffed to rail above her head. Just how was she supposed to manage to give these guys a blow job in that position? If her position had changed when he cuffed her ankles, it should have been more plainly spelled out so that the reader was aware she was no longer in a vertical position but was now horizontal to the floor. However, it was never stated that those cuffs were ever removed from her wrists or that her wrists were ever cuffed in a different position. Otherwise, intensity of rape scenario was good, despite the format used, although it would have been even greater otherwise. Keep up the writing.

I liked the story... and i liked the way it was described.... but the typos were kind of bad and the double first person thing was very confusing

Wow, it's clear English isn't your primary language.

You could use an editor, but the visuals and attention to detail make the story. One of the better subway stories. Keep writing!

Whatever your chosen language learn to use the proper tense. I then "her", and constant back and forth changes in the same sentence. Ridiculous....

O fuck that’s hot

yep that made me horny - had someone who kept touching me on my bus ride to work when i was young - it didnt go any further than that but have always wondered what could have happened if it went further - got me stoked and wanting it to happen - now I just read and write about my fantasies - at some point I will have to post some on this site

Could've been good but it jumped from pov to pov without warning or proper pattern.

Loved the premise, super hot, but ditto to what others pointed out. Dual 1st person? What where you thinking.

Logistics were wrong as well, so many flow problems, but could have been hot af.