Sucker Bet

"It's a shrink ray, Bob."

"Get the fuck out of here!"

"I'm serious!"

"God can smell that bullshit from Mars!"

"One thousand bucks, says you are wrong."

"You're on!"

"What should I shrink? How about you?"

"No way! Aim it at yourself!"

From the couch, a female voice protested, "Will you idiots, shut up! I'm trying to watch "The Bachelor!"

Bob grinned and pointed to his wife.

"You sure?"

"Yep, Stan. A thousand bucks says nothing happens."

"Prepare to pay up."

Stan aimed the vaguely piston shaped object at the beautiful brunette seated on the couch. There was a noise akin to a bug zapper in operation and then...

"Holy shit!"

There was a high-pitched whine emanating from the seat of the couch. Bob's jaw went slack, causing him to resemble a stuck fish as he took in the tableau. His lovely wife, Amanda, was now about a foot and a half tall.

"Honeeeeeeey" the tiny voice wailed. Bob could not doubt his eyes, the tiny figure was unquestionably his wife. It had Amanda's heart-shaped face, cascade of dark hair, pert breasts and long seeming legs and arms, even the tattoos matched.

"Pay up!" stated Stan as he extended his empty hand.

"You bastard!" cried Bob.

"I can reverse the process."

"Then do it."

"It will take a while for the gun to recharge."

"You son of a bitch!"

"Hey, you called me a liar. Where's that money?"

"Stuff your thousand dollars!"

Bob turned and strode towards the couch.

"Are you OK, honey?"

"OK? Look at me!"

The tiny woman's lovely countenance was panic stricken. Her blue eyes flashed; color came to her cheeks.

"What do you see in that idiot Stan, anyway?"

"Where's my money?"

"Fuck you, Stan! I don't have it."

"Hey, a bet's a bet!"

"Restore my wife right now!"

"Just as soon as I get my money."

"I don't have a thousand bucks on me."

"Then you shouldn't have made the bet."

"Fuck off. I want my wife back."

"Fine. I want my money."

"Stan, I'll write you a check."

"Cash on the barrelhead or no dice."

"You can't leave her like that."

"Sure, I can. I want cash or something of equivalent value."

"Stan, I don't have anything worth a thousand bucks at my fingertips."

"I'll take a trade."

"Like what?"

"If Amanda gets naked and doesn't try to hide herself, I'll restore her."

"You pig!" exclaimed Amanda.

"No dice, Stan."

"Well then, I'll go home, Bob."

"The fuck you will!"

"Bob, either you pay me with cash or skin. Maybe, I'll shrink you too and come back tomorrow. I'll bet you give me the money then."

"You are a shitty friend, Stan."

"No, I'm not. I don't make bets I can't back up."

"I'm not getting naked, you perv!" stated Amanda defiantly as she crossed her arms over her prodigious breasts.

"Well, then I'll stop in tomorrow, after Bob gets the cash from his bank."

"Like hell you will dickhead!" spat Amanda.

"Insulting me, won't improve my mood or incline me to restore you."

"Give me that gun!"

"You don't know how to use it, Bob. Push the wrong button and you could make Amanda even tinier. There's also an outside chance that she will explode."

"The fuck!" gasped Amanda.

"What she said!" echoed Bob.

"Hey, you are the one who chose the target."

"Honey? Bob, dear, what's he saying?"

"We made a little bet and Stan needed something to shrink."

"And you selected me, numb nuts?"

"I thought Stan was blowing smoke."

"You had no right to volunteer me!"

"I didn't think it would work."

"Obviously, you were wrong. Where does that leave us?"

"It leaves you tiny until your husband comes up with the cash he promised. Or you could show me what's under your cute blue dress."

"Bob, honey. Punch him. HARD!"

"Violence will make me go home and lock away the shrink ray for a month or two."

"I hate you, Stanley."

"I can live with that, Amanda. I'm not asking for much. I've seen you in a bikini."

"Fuck you! I'm not your wife."

"And yet you run around all the time in those tight tops and short skirts, exposing your incredible bod."

"That isn't for your benefit!"

"Sure, it is, Amanda. You've been turning me on since the day you entered Bob's life. You have nurtured and increased my curiosity. You can erase that curiosity. It's not like me seeing you naked will turn you to stone or something."

"How loudly do I have to say no?"

"Well then, I'll be shoveling off. I'll come back for the money tomorrow after the banks open. I want crisp hundred-dollar bills; nice and fresh, not the shit that ATMs spit out."

Stan placed the shrink ray in his vest pocket and made a move to leave the apartment.

"Stop him, honey!"

"Stan! Restore my wife right now!"

"Cash or skin, dude!"

"Bob, don't let him leave!"

"There is no reason for me to hang around."

Stan strode towards the door.

"Stop!" cried Amanda.

She stood up on the couch cushion and gazed at her husband's best friend with a look so withering it practically set the surrounding atmosphere on fire.

"You are despicable," she stated flatly as she stepped out of her sandals and began the process of tugging her dress off her trim taut figure. She was a vision in sparkling white underthings. Continuing to stare at Stan with enmity, she reached behind her back and unclasped her brassiere. Defiantly, she held the garment against her body for a long moment before allowing it to drop. Stan could not believe how magnificent his best friend's wife's breasts were. His imagination had failed spectacularly when compared to the real thing. Amanda had the areolas and nipples that Stan most savored. She stood with her hands on her hips, a living manifestation of anger.

With a heavy sigh, Amada's eyes rolled heavenward as she lowered and stepped out of her crisp white panties. Stan was rewarded with confirmation of what Bob had confided. The entirety of Amanda's vulva was shaved, clearing the skin for an intricate and beautifully executed monarch butterfly tattoo. Amanda made no move to cover herself.

"Satisfied?" she stated contemptuously.

"Indeed," returned Stan as he took up and aimed the shrink ray at the tiny woman.

The earlier sound repeated itself. Instantaneously, there was Amanda, standing on the couch, completely naked. The startled woman screamed, covered herself and made a beeline for the bedroom. An entranced Stan watched her pert bum recede.

Bob stared at Stan. Stan stared at Bob.

**

Stan stared at the shiner under his right eye in his bathroom mirror.

"Totally worth it!" he said to his reflection. He wondered how many of his other friends he could talk into taking his sucker bet.