Sugar Match Ch. 03

"So when did he find out it was your Dad?"

"Uhh. I don't know that either..."

"So then did Gordon know the whole time you guys were hooking up about Teddy and your Dad?" Sasha probes further. At this point I can tell what he's doing but there's nothing I can say to defend myself.

"I mean probably, but-"

I stop talking when I see the look on Sasha's face. He's giving me this look that says, "You don't know an awful lot for some who accused his whole support system of betrayal."

Still pining me with the look, Sasha starts out softly, "I love you, Perry, but its sounds like you didn't give anybody the chance to explain before you ran out. I know all of those secrets coming out must have been hard to hear, but those people are your family. I think you need to give them the benefit of the doubt before you come to all these conclusions without knowing all the facts."

I stare at Sasha in shock. How could someone so cute and young be so wise?

I relay that thought to him and he throws his head back in laughter.

"I wish I was wise. Then I would know what to do about my own love life," he says regretfully.

"Oh yeah," I exclaim. "How did it go last night with...what's his name? Bart?"

"Barrett," he replies through a frown. "We went for a snack at the diner and then I ended up inviting him up to my place."

Sasha's face gets a far off expression and my worry doubles.

"Sasha," I call quietly while putting my hand on his shoulder and leaning into his eyes. "Did something happen last night?"

Sasha shakes his hand as a tiny smiles peaks through before it's shadowed by another frown.

"No, last night was amazing. Actually, it was my first time but it was so good. He was so good." The dreamy smile is back on his face but like before, it drops off as his mind wanders. "But then I kind of, as you Americans say, "freaked out" after and asked him to leave."

My heart hurt for Sasha. I barely remember my first time but I do recall that it was a pleasant experience. I hate that he has any regret at all about giving this strange Barrett his first time.

"If I need to hunt down Barrett and kick his ass far and wide-"

"No," Sasha rushes to reassure me. "It wasn't Barrett's fault at all. I didn't even tell him it was my first and he was still so sweet and patient. No, I panicked because I have... issues. In Russia, my mother was very protective and she instilled some deep lessons in me I'm trying to unlearn. But they all came back as I was laying there with him. You know, after." Another blush and a frown paint his face as he busies himself wiping down the clean counter.

I grow quiet as I wait for Sasha to continue. His face gets such a wistful look on his face, I can practically feel the infatuation he already has for his Barrett.

"I like him so much, Per. I'm just scared."

Nodding I reply, "Dating is hard enough as it is without being in a new country and being only 19 years old. But your strong, Sasha. And so smart. If you can survive 18 years in the old country under your mothers thumb, I think you should give Barrett a chance."

Sasha looks at me and grins before saying, "I'm not promising anything, but I'll talk to him. If you agree to give Gordon a chance to explain himself before you write him off completely."

Smirking at my devious little friend, I say, "Alright, kid. You got yourself a deal."

The door dings as a customer comes in. Sasha moves away from me to take the order while I fall into my thoughts.

Sasha was right. It was wrong of me to just leave before I could hear everybody out. On the surface it looks like everyone betrayed me, but I didn't know any of the facts. I'm still pissed that Gordon hid the fact that he knew Teddy was with my Dad, but I don't think I could blame him. We're not even in a relationship yet, and he loves my Dad. I can't be mad at Gordon for trying to protect his best friend. I would do the same thing for Teddy.

I know I won't get any peace until I go and face the music of my loved ones. Hoping off the counter, I turn to tell Sasha I'm leaving to go back to my Dads when the door rings again, signaling another customer has entered.

But it's not a customer.

Teddy stands in the doorway, unsure of whether he should come inside all the way or not as our eyes meet across the room.

From my position behind the counter, I can see his swollen and bloodshot eyes. He looks as rough as I feel.

Teddy continues to stand hesitantly, not making a single move. My heart beats erratically as my own flight or fight responses rise up.

I wasn't prepared to see him yet. I was planning on the walk back to my Dad's house to prepare what I wanted to say, but it seems fate has forced my hand once more.

Taking a breath, I make a decision and offer Teddy a nod.

"Come behind the counter. I'll make us some drinks," I call casually.

The relief in Teddy's eyes tells me that he probably thought I was going to kick him out. And he'd probably be right if Sasha didn't talk some sense into me earlier.

Speaking of Sasha, the little interfering pixie jumps into action with a bright smile and says, "Go talk at a table. I'll bring you guys the usual."

Teddy and I make awkward eye contact before both agreeing silently to comply with Sasha. He's an angel but cross him and the boy has ire to rival a woman scorned.

As we settle at a table by the window, Teddy looks near tears again as he opens his mouth, but I beat him to it. I know that whatever he's going to say will be full of apologies but he's not the only one who needs forgiveness.

"Wait, Ted. Before you go first, I have something to say," I rush out.

Teddy looks apprehensive but nods.

Letting out a huge breath, I start.

"First off all, I wanted to say I'm sorry."

Teddy's head jerks up as he meets my eyes, shock apparent in his crystal blue eyes. I expect him to say something but he remains quiet, letting me continue.

Holding his gaze, I continue, "I'm sorry for automatically jumping to conclusions and not hearing you out. We've been best friends since high school and I should have listened. I owed you that. I know it's kind of late now, but I'm ready to hear it from you now."

Theodore Walker has always been an emotional person so when I see big fat crocodile tears slip out of his eyes, I'm not surprised in the least.

His hand darts across the table and takes mine in his warm grasp, never losing eye contact.

"I don't deserve you after what I did," he croaks out. His other hand not clasped in my sneaks out to wipe his tears away.

Trying to lighten the mood before his tears trigger my own, I interjected, "Hey, do you remember in junior year when you liked Randy Goldstein but didn't tell me until I told you I gave him his first blowjob? You weren't even mad at me! In fact, when he started that rumor saying he fucked me in the locker room, you were right there beside me when we egged his car. Do you remember that?"

Teddy nods and a surprised giggle falls out of his mouth.

"Yeah, I do," he concedes. "I think he was the first boy I ever thought I loved, but the minute I found out he tried to mess with my best friend, I didn't give a single shit about him. I only gave a shit about you."

More laughter falls from us as all the tension that entered the store when Teddy did evaporates.

While we calm down from our laughing fit, I hear the door chime and glance towards the entrance out of habit. There, Sasha's date from last night comes in and immediately makes his way to Sasha, who stands at the counter and pretends not to notice him.

I want to get up and make sure Sasha's okay but he starts talking to Barrett casually, his face showing no signs of distress. Letting him be for now, I turn back to Teddy.

Growing serious, I say again, "Just tell me what happened from the beginning, Teddy. I promise you that I will listen. I'm confused, but I know you're still that same boy from junior year."

Teddy lets a few more tears slip and then does as I ask.

"So I guess we'll start with the guy I meet on Sugar Match last year while I was going through money troubles. I already told you a little bit about that. What I left out is that apparently, he gave me a fake name and never told me any personal information. Our financial relationship lasted for about six months but when I was back on my feet, I stopped it. But I couldn't stop thinking about him."

Teddy pauses as a soft smile flits across his face while he looks dreamily out of the shop window. Pulling back to himself, he continues.

"It was another three months before I got up the nerve to ask him out. I told him that I didn't want any money, I just wanted a date. Just one. And then it went really well and it turned into another. And another. And eventually we were practically seeing each other full time. But then, you got that job working with your Dad and I wanted to come visit when you invited me. I remembered you mentioning the company so I showed up yesterday to take you to lunch. And that's when I ran into Thomas in the hallway."

Putting the pieces together, I realize that Teddy was the person my father saw yesterday while trying to get into Gordon's office. Teddy is the reason Gordon and I didn't get caught. I keep this revelation to myself as Teddy wraps up his side of the story.

"So, that's when I discovered my Sugar Daddy was your father. If I knew from the get go who he was, I would have never pursued him. I swear, Perry. I would never have done anything to ruin our relationship."

"I know you wouldn't have, Teddy," I say calmly. "I believe you. But why were you at my Dad's house this morning. Did you leave the club with him last night even after you knew that was my Dad?"

Shame and guilt cross Teddy's face as more tears fall.

"That," Teddy begins, "I don't have an explanation for. I knew it was wrong to leave with your Dad, but something just draws me to him. I can't quit him. I even broke up with him the day I found out who he was to you but we found our way to each other again. And I'm so sorry."

Surprisingly, I'm not mad at Teddy's honesty. Who am I to judge in this scenario when I did the exact same thing with Gordon last night?

"Teddy, you don't have anything to be sorry for. I can't fault you for wanting to be with the man you love. Even if that man is my Dad. I would be a monster if I tried to keep you apart."

"What are you saying, Perry?" Teddy asks, surprise in his eyes.

Sighing, I reply, "I'm saying that I want you to have whatever you want in this world, Theodore. Because I love you. So if my dad's what you want, then you should have him."

As I imagined he would, Teddy starts crying again, getting up and pulling me into a hug.

I hug him back, pouring all of my emotions into the hug and hanging on for probably too long.

Releasing Teddy, I let him get settled in his chair before asking the question that's been on my mind since shit hit the fan this morning.

"Teddy, how did my Dad know about my place and that I didn't go to your house last night?" I ask.

Teddy cringes and says, "I didn't mean to tell him, but everything just got so messed up. Last night, you told me you were going to your Dad's house and I knew you might go to my house instead. So when Oliver and I left the club, I told him we couldn't spend the night together at either of our places because you might catch us. And when he told me you never asked to stay at his house, I had to tell him what happened. Everything got all twisted and I didn't know how to lie for you to him without revealing anything else. I'm sorry."

Nodding, I reply, "No, it's okay. I was the one who lied in the first place. I knew you would never give me up on purpose."

Teddy looks relieved.

"So, is that all of the secrets now? No more between us?"

"No," I laugh, "I think that's all of them."

"Good, so now you can tell me all about Gordon," he ordered through a giggle. Teddy's eyes were still red and his voice was hoarse but I knew we were going to be okay.

However, hearing Gordons name reminds me that I still have another mess to clean up after I talk to my Dad. I want to break down here at the table just imagining what he must be feeling after I walked out on him. I'm not better than he was when he left me alone in his office the first time my dad almost caught us. I feel myself crack a little on the inside but I know that talking it out with Teddy will make me feel a little better.

Before we can get to that though, I'm alerted to a commotion at the counter when Barrett raises his voice before pleading, "Kitten, don't do this," in a wavering voice.

I take in Sasha but his head is shaking back and forth, telling Barrett that whatever he's pleading for, Sasha won't give him. Before I can intervene, Barrett says something too low for my ears before storming out of the coffee shop. Teddy and I are at Sasha's side at once as the poor kid falls apart. Teddy takes him into his similar small frame and holds him as he cries.

I don't know what happened between the two men just now, but I know Sasha is no shape to work.

Looking at Teddy, I say, "Can you take Sasha into the back and get him calmed down? I'll take over the front for a little bit."

Sasha tries to protest but he knows it's no good going against Teddy and I.

Teddy and Sasha disappear behind the door leading to the back when I hear the door chime. Expecting Barrett to come back for another go at Sasha, I turn and pull myself to my full height. I'm all set to kick the bastard out when I notice that it isn't Barrett.

It's my Dad.

Jesus, how many people are going to come in today seeking an emotional reunion? Because I can't do anymore revelations and heartfelt conversations today. I'm all drama'd out.

Where Teddy paused in the door and waited for me to make the first move, my dad marched to the counter and immediately exploded into speech.

"Perry! I've been looking for you everywhere!"

Here we go, I thought. He was out of his mind if I was going to stand here and get yelled at-

"I was so worried about you," my dad's voice breaks as he suddenly cuts himself off, turning around abruptly as his hands goes to his eyes. I look up in surprise to see my Dad covertly wipe a few tears from his red eyes before turning back around.

He clears his throat and starts again, obviously about to pretend he wasn't upset. But that wasn't going to fly with me.

"Dad," I question, "why are you upset?"

For a second I don't think he's going to answer me. My Dad has always tried to be there for me but we never do confrontation like this.

Sweeping a hand down his face, his eyes catch mine. Before he says anything, I can see all the confusion, pain and even fear I feel reflected in the same eyes I share with him.

"Because you're my everything, kid. And I thought I lost you." This time, Dad doesn't turn around when the emotion overwhelms him. His shoulders shake once before I can get around the counter and throw myself in his arms. I can't remember the last time I just hugged my Dad. But it feels so good feeling his arms come around me as I bury my head in his chest, letting my own shoulders shake as emotion wracks my body.

When I was younger and my Pa was still around, I was so close to both of them. We used to be this little family against the world. But then when my Pa passed away five years ago from cancer, our family was fractured, and my father and I became two pieces that didn't fit together anymore. He tried over and over to support me but it didn't feel right anymore without Pa. So I pushed him away.

I thought that if he didn't have to worry about me, he could worry about himself and find someone to make him happy again. But I know that it doesn't work like that. I'm his son. And he's my dad. We'll always be each other's everything even if we have other people in our lives.

Holding my Dad for the first real time since my Pa died, I let the love I've been pushing away finally wash over me.

Still holding on, I push my voice out through the thickness in my throat and blubbered, "I love you, Dad."

The arms around my body tighten as my Dad responds, "I love you too, Persimmon Michael Fellows."

"Oh, god. This must be bad. You full named me," I groan.

Our bodies shake as my Dad guffaws deeply before letting me go. I can tell by his face that he's about to get into what I left the house earlier to avoid but then our attention is diverted to the front entrance.

Hearing the door chime, I look up and thankfully see just a customer walk in. Quickly pulling away from Dad, I get behind the counter so I can take the order. I notice my Dad just standing there awkwardly, still wiping his eyes.

"You want to come around here and help me with this real quick? Then we can talk. And I promise to listen."

"Uh, sure," he replied. "But is this even allowed? Don't you have a manager here?"

"There's no manager on the Saturday afternoon shift. There's only one for the morning and then who ever works noon to close," I explain.

Nodding, my Dad comes around the counter and stands by while I make the drinks. I knew his question was mostly a diversion tactic so we don't have to talk about awkward topics but he can't beat around the bush forever.

Deciding to let him off the hook a little, I start with, "So, I talked to Teddy before you came in. He explained how you guys didn't know who you were to each other until yesterday. And how you found out about my place. Before we talk about that though..." Taking a breath, I continue with, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about what was happening with the brownstone. I just thought I could handle it. Actually, I wanted to be able to handle it without always needing your help."

Turning away while my Dad configures his response, I figure he's going to say something about how stupid it is to try to do everything myself. It wouldn't be out of character since I've heard him say that very thing to me before. As I finish the customer's latte with a sprinkle of cinnamon, my Dad starts to speak quietly behind me.

"I don't know if you remember, but Michael was just as independent as you are now. He never let me do anything for him in our marriage, even if that's all I wanted to do. I'm not surprised you turned out just like him. Honestly, I'm extremely proud to see the strong man you've become."

I have to blink rapidly to stop the tears that swell up in my eyes. I'm going to need a day at the spa to recover from all the stress this day is putting on my puffy eyes and face. Sniffling, I hand the customer her drink with a small smile and turn around to my Dad.

He's not crying but his eyes are swimming with emotion.

"Do you really mean that?" I ask hesitantly.

"Of course I do," my dad confirms vehemently. "As much as I'd like to do everything for you, I know I have to let you struggle because that's what you want."

Gulping, I swallow my pride and say, "But what if it's not what I want?"

My Dad looks confused but nods as if asking me to continue.

For a long time, I didn't know how I could repair the relationship between my Dad and I. If I was being honest, things were fucked up long before all the drama with Teddy and Gordon started. I didn't know how to make everything right, but I think I knew how to start.

Looking at my Dad, I take a steadying breath and start.

"I'm sorry that I've been pushing you away. I know that you only wanted to help me, but I thought that if you only poured all your effort into fixing me, who would fix you? I thought staying independent would help us both in the long run but it's only done more damage." I pause here to gauge his reaction so far.

He isn't smiling but there's understanding in his eyes that gives me the strength to continue.