Sugar Sand Cay

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Her confidence lasted for as long as he remained silent. When he opened his mouth, Rhonda crumbled.

"Mom. It's me, Caleb." His voice brought silence to the whole beach. "It's been almost twenty years."

"Caleb, stop it!" snarled his partner, putting a hand on his bicep, but he easily freed himself.

"I remember you from the pictures. Aunt Michelle," he gestured over his shoulder to the right―to the attractive, older woman. "Told me you went missing along this beach. I-I've come here every summer since I turned fourteen. I've walked this beach and I never thought. . ." More tears. "Never thought I'd see you. This isn't a dream, is it?"

If it was a dream, her stomach wouldn't have felt like it had been jabbed by a boxer. If it was a dream, her heart wouldn't have ached. Rhonda wouldn't have closed the distance and held the boy―yes, hairless and awkward because he was still just a boy―had it been fabrication.

This was her son. She could tell by his body language and how he watched her and by how her soul tore at the thought of disappearing from his life before he could even remember her face. He was also very much his father from the chin down. His trunks swung low on his hips and the sunglasses perched on his head were the same old brand; probably hand-me-downs.

Rhonda let herself be small. She'd acted big long enough. Sobbing, she leaned against this strange man and chanted the name he'd been called by the woman behind him. "Caleb, Caleb, Caleb. . ."

But if Caleb was nearly a man. . .

. . . how much time had really passed?

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Through_Burning_EyesThrough_Burning_Eyesover 2 years ago

So, uhh... you're working on a sequel, right? Because the time travel ending is way too weird to leave as a cliffhanger.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago

It was a great story. But a very WEIRD ending.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 4 years ago
Great

This was awesome and you wrote the characters quite well, but then a weird twist ending? I’m all about it. More to come I hope?

BigBeanieBigBeanieabout 4 years ago
Pretentious ending...

...ruins what was otherwise a great story. No idea why you thought introducing a stupid supernatural / sci-fi ending to a story that had been about exploring feelings up to that point was a good idea, but it jarred so bad, it invalidated the good stuff that went before.

Also there was a sequel crying out to be written about Michelle's reaction to her aunt sleeping with her girlfriend. That's out of the question now.

Defeat snatched from the jaws of victory.

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