Summer in Amber Ch. 04

And so now I was on the fast track to university life, and not looking forward to it. I had managed to put it out of my mind for a while, distracted by the earthly pleasures of the flesh I was discovering with Miss Amber. But with only a rapidly declining summer now separating me from that life, the cold hard reality of my upcoming future was looming larger than ever.

Why can't I just stay here? I thought. I liked where I was in the present, it seemed far more attractive than the future, at least in the immediate short term. Why did I have to go to college right away? I was lost and confused. Thankfully I had a certain lecherous librarian to provide me with some clarity.

"Miss Amber, can I ask you something?"

Her taste was still lingering on my lips from an early afternoon encounter hours earlier. The library had been especially slow that day, and the both of us had been sitting at the desk with nothing but time to kill.

"Of course," she said, sounding concerned. She looked gorgeous as always, wearing a green and white stripped dress that provided convenient access to the soft succulent treasure between her legs. "Is everything okay? I noticed you weren't quite as...zealous today."

"Yeah, sorry about that." I shifted in my seat awkwardly. "Anyway, you know I'm leaving for college soon, right?"

"So I've heard. You excited?"

"Umm, not exactly."

"I'm gonna take a wild guess," she trailed off, staring at me with those beautiful green eyes of her, reading the pages of my mind once again, "and say that you're nervous."

"Right as always." I said. "Am I that easy?"

"No, I'm just that good." Miss Amber tapped me on the nose in her customary playful way. "Tell me why you're nervous."

"I just don't wanna go," I stated bluntly.

"That's not an answer Jake." She leaned back into her chair and crossed her legs, looking slightly irritated. "Why are you nervous?"

I knew why, I just didn't want to admit it. But there was never any fooling her.

"I guess I'm afraid of being alone," I confessed. "I've never been great at making friends. I'm afraid that if I go there I'll end up all by myself for four years."

Miss Amber's irritation turned back to concern, and she rested her hand on my knee.

"What you're feeling is completely normal Jake. Everyone feels insecure when they go off to college. And if it's not college, it's something else. Leaving home is hard, it always is. But it's one of those rights of passage you have to do."

"Was it hard for you?"

"Oh god yes!" she exclaimed. "I know it may be hard to believe, but I was the quiet dorky girl in high school, the kind of girl people would forget was in the room. You know how many signatures I had in my senior year book?" She held up her hand in an O-shape. "Zero."

"You're lying," I accused. There was no way the gorgeous, confident, assertive woman sitting next to me used to be the kind of girl guys wouldn't give the time of day. I refused to believe it. "You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"Swear to god," said Miss Amber, drawing an X over her left breast. "So you can imagine how terrified I was to go off on my own to study at a big fancy school halfway across the country. I bawled my eyes out my first night.

"Did you make any friends?"

"I did. I don't know how it is with guys, but when half of the other girls in your dorm are sobbing along with you, it's easy to find common ground. That's what you have to remember Jake. Everyone there is in the same situation as you. You have more in common than you think."

I sat in silence, pondering Miss Amber's wisdom. I understood what she was saying, but I still wasn't sure. The idea of being alone, surrounded by hundreds of people my age, with no refuge, it just didn't appeal to me.

"I don't know, I feel like I'm going just because my dad wants me to. Hell, I still don't even know what I'm gonna study." I pulled in closer, resting my hand on hers. "I'd rather stay here. I like where I'm at now. I like being with you."

She smiled lovingly before removing her hand out from under mine. "That's the wrong attitude to have Jake. College is an opportunity. And your luckier than most; your dad saved up for you to have that opportunity. Don't throw it away because you're afraid."

Miss Amber's words cut through me like a hot white knife. Her candid stating of the truth hit me so hard that I felt a sudden rush of tears beginning to pool behind my eyes. I did my best to hold them back, but she could tell, and without warning gave me the most genuine, comforting hug I've ever had.

"I know what you're feeling," she said, rubbing my back. "I know how scary it is to put yourself out into the world, and how easy it is to get stuck in your head with thoughts of what could happen. But college is an invaluable part of growing up. It's about more than getting an education. It's about experiences, figuring out who you are. Where you go and what you're studying doesn't matter as much as what you do with your time there."

She gave me a tight squeeze before pulling away and handing me a tissue. I dabbed the tears from my eyes, beyond grateful for her kindness during my moment of vulnerability.

"Thanks for talking with me Miss Amber," I said between muted sniffles. "I needed that."

"My pleasure Jake. Why don't you head back and shelve for a bit. I can cover the desk for the rest of the afternoon."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Take some time to ponder what I said, okay?"

"Yeah, okay. Thanks."

I stood up and took another long look at Miss Amber. She looked as heavenly as ever, her wavy red hair shining heavily against her pale skin. Without thinking I leaned down and kissed her on the lips, quick and light. If she was surprised she didn't show it, becoming a rock of certainty and confidence that continued to impress me. I departed without looking back, knowing that she was watching me the entire time.

I took Miss Amber's advice and spent my time shelving considering everything she said. She's right, I thought. I had been thinking about this whole situation all wrong. My fear was blinding me from seeing the chance I had been given. It's what had kept me from making the most of community college, and now it was threatening to do the same once again. I decided right then and there that I was no longer going to view my upcoming exile into the world of academia as a burden to be feared, but as an opportunity to continue down the positive path I had recently been going down.

I was feeling in much higher spirits by the time the library closed that night. Sandy even mentioned as such, noting that I seemed much more myself than usual, which made me feel even better. I headed out to the parking lot with a pep in my step and a song in my sides, until I noticed Miss Amber waiting for me by my car, and suddenly my mind was flooded with whatever potential surprises she may have in store for me that night.

"Hey Miss Amber," I said, unable to contain my excitement, "what's going on?"

"Meet me at my place," she ordered. "We're going dancing."

III.

"You almost finished up in there Jake?"

"Yeah, I'll be right out."

Dancing. It had to be dancing.

I admit, I was not in a good head space right then. Dancing was high up on the list things I did not feel comfortable doing. In a lot of ways it's one of the purest, most vulnerable forms of expression, so of course I was terrified of it. The last time I had attempted to dance was at my cousin's wedding when I was thirteen, and I was as stiff as a board, frozen with fear of embarrassing myself, which thus became a self-fulfilling prophecy. From then on I did my best to steer clear of the practice altogether.

"I can't wait for you to see this place," Miss Amber said from the living room, sounding genuinely excited.

"What's it called again?" I asked as I adjusted my collar. We had stopped at her place to change, where she had assembled an outfit for me to wear: a navy blue and black plaid dress shirt, and a matching pair of black chinos. Clearly she had this planned out ahead of time. This is another one of her tests, I concluded. You have to do this if you want to be with her.

"Abe's Odd Spot. It's this really adorable little rooftop venue. It's a real classy joint, and they play the best music, the classic stuff."

"Sounds interesting," I said, feigning enthusiasm. I gave myself one last quick once-over in the mirror. Not bad actually. I guess I wasn't surprised. I meant it when I said she had an impeccable fashion sense.

"Okay, I'm coming out," I announced from the bathroom.

"Ooh, I can't wait to see you!"

I entered the living room to find Miss Amber standing, waiting in anticipation, and one look at her reminded me why I was doing this. She was wearing a short and wispy floral patterned yellow sundress, along with a pair of white wedges, a combination that drew considerable attention to her long elegant legs. Her auburn hair hung loose and wavy over her bare shoulders, around which hung a simple silver necklace that fell down between the exposed cleavage of her breasts.

"Oh my god!" she exclaimed, "you look so handsome! We just gotta make one minor change."

She grabbed my arms and rolled my sleeves up, all the way just past my elbows.

"There we go, now you look perfect." She stood back and stared at me with a long, contemplative gaze that stretched from head to toe. "It's a good thing we're not going to a club, or I'd probably have to beat all the ladies back with a stick."

"Please, no clubs," I desperately implored.

"Don't worry, they're not my cup of tea either," she conceded. "Now put your shoes on, we wanna get there before it gets dark."

My stomach was churning with anxiety the entire drive there, and only worsened when we arrived to find the street packed with cars, and the air humming with the sound of music. For a few minutes we searched for an empty parking spot, eventually finding one about a block away.

The walk there was my lowest point of the night. The air was as sticky as ever, though made more tolerable by the cooling of the setting sun. Miss Amber had her arm looped around mine, confidently dragging me against my will to her latest and greatest challenge. My legs began to shake with anticipation the closer we got, and as the sign for Abe's Odd Spot came into view, I suddenly found that I couldn't move.

"I don't think I can do this Miss Amber," I said, frozen in panic, and without batting an eye she gave me a persuading kiss on the lips that seemed to suck all the apprehension out of me.

"Hey, don't be nervous," she reassured me, cupping my cheek. "Tonight is about us. Forget about everything else. We're here to have fun together, okay?"

"Yes Miss Amber."

At this point those three words were coming out of me on autopilot, but were no less genuine. Slowly my legs began to anchor themselves back into the ground, and the hurricane in my stomach faded into a mild storm. I was still afraid, but with her at least it felt like I had a life preserve on.

We flashed the bouncer our ID's and headed up the stairs, the bubble of laughter and music above growing louder and ever closer with each step we took. You can do this, I repeated to myself. It's just dancing, just follow her lead and everything will be fine.

Miss Amber suddenly tightened her grip on my hand, reminding me of what was at stake, bringing my attention to her backside, and that perfect ass of hers I knew was hiding underneath her low cut dress. I thought back to our first night, and the feel of her firm juicy cheeks in my hands, remembering how much I wanted to experience that again. It was exactly the motivation I needed to continue forward, and she knew it.

The roof was packed with people, most of whom looked older than me, laughing and dancing and drinking, all to the tune of some old sounding up tempo song I didn't recognize. The place had an unmistakably vintage feel to it, with psychedelic looking murals painted on the concrete floor and walls, and strings of lights hanging above, alternating between colors every ten seconds or so. The dance floor took up most of the roof, sandwiched between a small sitting area and a quaint looking bar, all of which was relentlessly loud and bustling with activity. It certainly wasn't what I was expecting, much to my relief, but I was nonetheless out of my element, surrounded by strangers having a better time than I was. Immediately I felt the familiar instinct to retreat permeating my every nerve, and it took all my strength not to give in, which Miss Amber must have sensed, because what she did next was the equivalent of throwing a toddler into the deep end.

"C'mon!" she yelled, and without warning I was being pulled into an ocean of people. The next few moments passed by in a blur as I became lost in the sounds and smells and sights of music and sweat and undulating bodies all around me. The only thing grounding me to reality was Miss Amber, who, to my surprise, was actually not the greatest dancer. She wasn't terrible by any means, but her sense of rhythm left much to be desired. That didn't stop her though. She was as happy and content as could be, shaking and spinning and gyrating without a care in the world, all the while egging me on to do the same. I started tepidly swaying my body back and forth, to which she smiled, her emerald eyes encouraging me to further emerge from my shell and let loose.

I couldn't deny her, and my arms began to unhinge themselves from my sides as the DJ switched to a catchy song Miss Amber would later happily inform me was called "Ramblin' Gamblin' Man" by an old band called the Bob Seger System. Turns out she was quite the music aficionado with a passionate taste for anything and everything from the 60s through the 80s, which in retrospect made Abe's Odd Spot the perfect place to satiate that taste.

We jumped and jived our way through a handful songs, most of which I had never heard before that night, all the while being barraged by that self-critical inner voice of mine begging me to leave. Get out! It screamed. You look like a fool. You're embarrassing yourself, and everyone can see. Normally I would have listened, agreeing with the conclusion as an excuse to escape from this whole excruciatingly uncomfortable situation. But Miss Amber was there to silence it all. I concentrated on her for every agonizing second I could, using the sight of her twisting, turning, tantalizing body as inspiration to keep going. She was my muse, my reason for being, compelling me to swing my body to and fro with wild abandon, and over time, slowly but surely, the voices in my head grew increasingly distant, eventually becoming whispers that could barely be heard.

Finally, it all crystallized in one singular moment I'll never forget, when at one point I looked around and realized that no one was paying attention to me. Nobody cared. No one except her. And that's when I realized there was nothing to be afraid of.

By the time we finally decided to take a break we were both exhausted. Miss Amber dragged me light headed over to the rest area, and together we plopped down at a table, out of breath and sweating profusely.

"You're doing great," she said at the top of her voice.

"What?" I yelled back, unable to hear her over the music.

"I said you're doing great!" She leaned closer and kissed me lightly on the cheek. "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks. Should we get some drinks?" I suggested, pointed to the bar.

Miss Amber shook her head. "That's a crutch you don't need Jake."

"Oh, uh, okay." Even this far into our relationship, she still startled me with her bluntness sometimes.

"So what do you think?" she said, changing the subject. "Isn't this place just the best?"

"Yeah, it's not bad. I like the vibe."

She rested her hand on mine and gave it a light squeeze. "I'm glad. I hope you're having fun."

"I am," I admitted, squeezing back. "Thank you for making me do this."

She smiled, and together we held hands, turning our attention to the sky above. The sun had fully set by now, its natural light replaced by that of the city below. Suddenly a light summer night breeze passed over the roof, gifting us a brief and satisfying counter to the heat boiling underneath our skin. Miss Amber tilted her head back and closed her eyes, taking in the pleasant feel of the cool air kissing her face, her wavy red hair gently fluttering in the wind, looking like dark fire as the overhead lights transitioned from red to orange to yellow. It was another one of those transcendent moments that were becoming increasingly common, where by some grace of an unknown higher power she looked more radiant and intensely beautiful than she ever had before.

"Alright everybody," boomed the DJ, breaking both of us out of our trances, "make sure to hit the floor cuz we got a classic Jagger/Bowie combo comin' up here that's sure to getcha sweating even more!"

"Ooh, I love this song!" Miss Amber exclaimed. "C'mon!"

Surging with newfound energy, she excitedly grabbed my hand and lead me back to the dance floor as "Dancing in the Street" by Mick Jagger and David Bowie started playing, an infectiously cheesy and upbeat melody from the 80s that I actually recognized, compelling the both of us to throw all caution to the wind and cut what little strings were still holding me back. She threw her hands up and started hopping up and down, mimicking Jagger from the infamous music video, and I responded by sticking my hands in my pockets and tapping my feet like Bowie. Frankly it was embarrassing, and we both burst out laughing, not giving a damn about anything except how connected we felt at that exact moment. It might as well have just been the two of us on that dance floor, making a fool of ourselves for our own amusement.

"Alright, ladies and gents, we're gonna take a hard right turn and slow things way down, so grab a partner and hold on tight, cuz we're about to take a walk in paradise with the great Phil Collins."

The song began, dark and ominous, making the hairs on my arms stand on end. It was an incredibly melancholic tune, yet oddly romantic, slow and thoughtful, and Miss Amber and I couldn't help but sway our bodies to its rhythm. We drew closer, the air between us electric with our combined desire. She wrapped her arms around my neck and rested her cheek on my shoulder, and for a while we just danced, lost together in the purity of the moment. I felt connected to her, truly connected, like our our spirits were just as entwined as our bodies, guided to each other by the music.

"Do you wanna fuck me?" she suddenly whispered into my ear, already knowing the answer. I could barely hear her over Phil Collins's dulcet vocals, but the warm wanting moistness of her breath told me everything, sending chills throughout my body.

"Of course I do." I tightened my arms around her waist and brought her in even closer, close enough to feel the heat emanating from between her legs. "I've never wanted anything more in my entire life."

She sighed, content. "Then how about we get out of here?"

"You'll get no arguments from me," I said, agreeing to her hasty proposition.

"Not just yet though." She slipped her fingers into my curly hair and touched her forehead to mine. "Stay here with me a little longer."

"Whatever you want Miss Amber."

Truthfully I didn't want to leave just yet either. We had probably been dancing for only an hour, yet it felt like I had lived a lifetime, a lifetime in which I had finally learned to accept myself and live without fear, all to the tome of a woman whose pleasures extended beyond the physical, who got off on helping those screaming out in silent need.