All Comments on 'Summer Loving'

I find it quite hard to invest any time in stores where the author has little grasp of the language.

deep gutter shouts (guttural)

a guff of wind (gust)

short swat red hair ((swatch or squat ?)

It winded in a spiral (wound)

Amazing none of the (Amazingly)

I surprised none ( I am surprised)

I could go on for ever but you get the picture, now get an editor please.

A good story but serious need of an editor.

Looking forward to the continuation, or continuance, or part 2. Just would love to read more. Not to step on toes but if your going to make grammatical suggestions why be anonymous, stand behind your critiques .......

But anyway Cam31 love the story so far lots of interesting characters cannot wait to get to know them better....

You have the start of a good story. Now you need to find an editor to help with the grammar, spelling, and general readability of the story.

Fuck, that was painful to read, wish I could give less than 1*

Not s bad start, am assuming that English is not your first language though. Get an editor or friend to proof read it to help with those basic mistakes.

it's is a nice story but i really dont see were this is all heading...

Looking forward to the next chapter or two or ten whichever. You need an editor though.

I enjoyed this beginning. I am intrigued. I liked your voice. I liked how the main character sounded so lost and out of her element in the human world.

You've laid down the groundwork though for a very large story. It seems like an ambitious and long story arc. I hope you follow through with a continuation because it looks quite promising.