All Comments on 'Summer Of Discovery Ch. 05'

I THINK YOU SHOULDN'T LOCK THEM IN WITH JUST FRIENDS.DAD,MOTHER,AUNT AND UNCLES.

I hope you'll continue and soon! Though I do disagree with the previous comment, your story is unique and perfect the way it is. Mark & Mel got together sexually because of the experience they shared, and they got with Sherie & Jim because they already liked them and found it was mutual for the same reason. Please don't change them into two sex crazed sluts that start uncontrollably having sex with anyone & everyone especially if they are related to them...Which goes back to your story(plot) is perfect the way it is: hot, sexy, but with depth and emotion. Thanks for the great read! More, Please!

Each new installment of this series just keeps getting better and better. And, for the record, I agree- keep the pairings as they are. Try not to introduce any more new characters which haven't been seen already in previous chapters.

Also, it would be nice to see a TEASING chapter where no sex is actually had, but a lot of sexual tension can be experienced. Put the foursome in a public place where they're all horny, but they can't do anything about it except writhe in erotic agony for a while. Have the twins go to a movie together and discover just how many people out there are attracted to them- acquaintances and strangers alike.

Offer up some intrigue and excitement. Challenge our minds and your characters a little. The sex is great, but sometimes less is more, y'know?

I would also encourage you to beef up your dialogue a little bit. The dialogue itself is okay, but the delivery of those lines reads more like a script than an actual story. Pay attention to how dialogue is delivered in other stories:

"I'm really surprised at you," she said with a playful twinkle in her eyes. "You're a lot more devious than I thought."

Like that. Break it up a bit. Right now the dialogue comes off as being very flat and unmotivated.

Keep up the good work!

Wow! Keep this story going, please.

I gave you a 4, but a 100% here. My only problem is that you need to give more description of their feeling during sex. It's good, especially when one of the twins feels what is happening to the other. The last scene in Ch. 5, with Sheri kissing Mel while Mark fucks her, then cums in her mouth, which she shares with Mel, is my favorite scene. But it needs more description, of Mark tasting Sheri as Mel eats her, and Mel tasting Marks prick as Sheri licks it, and Mark's feeling as Sheri takes his prick out of Mel's pussy and sucks her cum from it. I don't know where the story can go without adding more characters, but this group is so good I would hate to add more to it. But I hate to see it stop, too.

this is very different.I love it! I just realized how damn hard it has to be to write this :} great job!