All Comments on 'Summer with Trashy Slut and Her Mom'

by hotguywriter101

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  • 6 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago
Try again

This writing was about as trashy as the family your MC kept demeaning. And what was up with that anyway? Sounded like self-loathing projection to me. Are you from a trashy background yourself and tried to make yourself feel better? Nothing wrong with trying to improve yourself, but you dont have to try to humiliate others to do so. Any rate, get an editor and try again. I may not have thought the story very good, but I never tell people to stop writing. I always hope writers keep on trying. Good luck.

Jedd

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago
Great for a First submission!

Loved the premise and the pacing. The dynamic of that family was interesting, and I can easily see more chapters to this story.

The only issues I have are minor grammar errors such as getting 'your' and 'you're ' mixed up.

Not trying to be a dick, but *your* is the possessive as in 'your car'.

*You're* is a contraction of 'You are'.

These issues are the only real negatives in your story. Keep writing, and I look forward to seeing more from you.

4 out of 5.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 4 years ago

Good story, thank you for sharing, I enjoyed it. You have to work on your grammar and spelling though as it adversely affected the flow. Looking forward to the sequel.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 4 years ago
@try again anon

Wow you really need to take your head out of your sanctimonious ass and fvck off to the childrens comics. Nothing you ever say is of any worth..Seems your own self loathing is be projected by your own worth lessness

AnonymousAnonymousabout 4 years ago

The sex scenes were decent. But the grammar ruined the flow of the story. And demeaning the girl and her family was very off putting. She's trashy cos she's got a nose ring and a tongue piercing and from a poor background. Cmon dude, seriously. Sounds like you have some deep rooted issues. Could have been a fantastic story if you had left that out. Keep trying though. Hope you take the constructive criticism and come back stronger.

xhatxhatalmost 4 years ago

Ok, the best twist that could come out of this is that this guy who thinks he’s “too good” for this “clingy, trashy, slutty” young woman is that he’s HOOKED and doesn’t know it yet. The setup feels like it’s there but... alas, It’s supposed to be “real life” so according to the writer it ends here.

But who cares about boring real life? I’m here for a part 2 where we see this guy get addicted to all-day sex with this little vixen and pulled in deep, despite himself and his “standards,” and become the family slave (sexual and otherwise).

Anonymous
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