Sunday at St. Michael's Ch. 03

It was Christmas Eve, and the fourth Sunday of Advent. At St Michael's church, the morning service was being led by Reverend Fletcher...who unknown to him, was about to give the most stimulating sermon of his life...

"What's this old padré doing here again?" Gordon muttered, as he noticed Fletcher head up to the pulpit.

"Jenna told me that she'd personally invited him back in order to do the sermon today. Because Simon's sermon's are so boring," Mia whispered.

"Ah! That makes perfect sense!" the organist replied. "Good old Jenna, always thinking of ways to make this church more enjoyable, eh?"

"Yup, that's my cousin. Full of Christian mercy!"

They both giggled, unaware of the real reason Reverend Fletcher was here. And the service, for him was about to get a lot more interesting.

"Brothers and sisters, it gives me great..." the reverend paused as he felt something - or someone fumble under his purple vestments.

"...pleasure, to be addressing you all today."

And then the sound of the zip on his trousers being pulled down.

He twitched nervously, trying to retain his composure.

As the congregation sat in the pews, lost in prayer and contemplation, a single bead of perspiration trickled down the Rev. Fletcher's brow. It wasn't from the Advent candles burning nearby, but from the passion that burned within him. He now knew that today's sermon would be unlike any other he had ever delivered, and it wasn't just because of its unique message of love and acceptance. The old vicar didn't dare move from the pulpit, as all eyes were on him. He'd just have to tough it out...

In the cramped space inside the pulpit, Jenna was impressed as she pulled down the old man's white boxer shorts, revealing the thick, meaty length of him, already half-hard with anticipation. Quite a tasty-looking cock, she had to admit. She wrapped her lips around the tip, feeling the warmth and weight of him fill her mouth. Reverend Fletcher's voice grew hoarse as he continued to read, his hips starting to move involuntarily, pushing himself deeper into her mouth.

The Reverend Fletcher was old, really old, but his cock was something to behold. It was as if time had stopped at his groin, leaving him with a magnificent, thick shaft that seemed to defy the laws of nature. Jenna couldn't help but continue to be amazed as she sucked him harder. As bad as this chap had been, his impressive dick deserved her full attention.

Over at the organ, Gordon was impressed by this far more interesting sermon.

"Well he might resemble something from the Pickwick Papers, but he writes a much better paragraph than our Reverend Morris! I guess it's because he's older and more experienced?"

"Yeah, I liked that bit where he said there should be only good vibes at Christmas and Jesus being born in a stable because the NHS waiting lists were too long. That was funny!" Mia whispered back.

"The old boy looks to have high blood pressure," Gordon mused, noticing the sweat running down the vicar's forehead. "Reminds me of something...hell, it's bloody freezing in this church, but he looks like he's been sat in a sauna."

Reverend Fletcher's voice trembled slightly as he continued to enthral the congregation with a Christmas-themed sermon like no other. They assumed his wavering composure was normal for him.

"This guy is on fire," Mia said, also captivated. "He knows how to entertain an audience!"

"Looks to me like he's rather entertained himself! Look how he's gripping the pulpit there - his fingernails have turned white. And the way he's thrusting slightly...looks like he's humping the thing!"

"Gordy, you have a naughty mind!"

"Hmm, I wonder where I get it from?" He stared at the old vicar again. "It might be just me, but he doesn't look well..."

In front of the pulpit, Reverend Morris was listening intently to his mentor's words. I truly learned from the best, he thought. Thanks to Horatius, I am able to write wonderful sermons! It was so nice of Jenna to invite him to conduct our morning service. He glanced at the seated congregation, and saw no sign of his wife anywhere.

That's odd. I swore I saw her sitting at the front before. She's missing this amazing sermon. Maybe she had to go to the ladies...

As Reverend Fletcher's climax approached, his heart raced with an unfamiliar urgency. The words on the page of his sermon began to blur, and he felt a warmth spreading through his body. He looked down, only to see Jenna the vicar's wife, her lips wrapped around his cock, her eyes locked on his. It was then that he realised his heart condition had worsened, and the pleasure of the moment was quickly replaced by fear.

With a loud gasp, he slumped forward onto the pulpit, his weight pulling Jenna away from him. She looked up at him, concern etched on her face, as he struggled to catch his breath. And then, with a final heave, he staggered towards the pulpit steps, then collapsed on the floor, motionless.

Someone screamed.

"Oh my God! Call 999!"

Norman the churchwarden quickly pulled out his phone and called an ambulance. Everything seemed to unfold in slow motion for a few moments.

It was then that Gordon sprang into action, leaping over the shelf at the side of the organ like a gazelle. His black, open-fronted gown billowed behind him like a superhero's cape.

"I'm a trained first-aider," he yelled. "He's gone into cardiac arrest!"

As Gordon began performing CPR on Reverend Fletcher, Mia watched in stunned amazement. Some small children at the front of the church started crying, and were led away by anxious parents.

"Please God, don't let him die," Reverend Morris begged, praying quietly, as they waited for the ambulance to arrive.

The entire church was in uproar, and the churchwarden struggled to calm the panicking congregation.

"Ladies and gents please, I must ask you to sit quietly or if you wish to leave, please can you do so in an orderly manner. In the chaos, Jenna managed to creep out of the hollow in the pulpit, unseen, and hurry off.

"Oh this is a nightmare," Reverend Morris sobbed, wiping away tears, as the organist continued giving chest compressions. "On Christmas Eve as well, and the defibrillator we had installed got stolen just a few days ago!"

Seconds later, Jenna suddenly appeared at his side. "Oh Simon," she panted.

"He's breathing!"

A chorus of cheers erupted.

The sound of a siren outside the church was heard. Norman directed the paramedics into the church.

"Dear God, have our prayers been answered?" Reverend Morris asked his wife.

Jenna bit her lip. "I sure hope so." She turned away. I don't want to have that on my conscience. The fact I killed a man by giving him a blowjob, she thought.

As the paramedics carried the stricken Reverend Fletcher into the ambulance, everyone turned their attention to Gordon.

"Where's our organist?" Norman said. "The guy's a bloody hero!"

Gordon was sat on the organ stool, resting, after his successful first aid.

"That was amazing, what you did just then," Mia said, her arm round his shoulders.

He shrugged. "Just basic first aid," he muttered modestly.

"But you were so calm."

"Inside I was screaming. I don't think I've been as afraid as that since...can't remember when. You know, being confronted with the harsh reality of death - right here in the church."

"But you got his heart going again. He'll be okay."

"Aye, let's hope so. Could still have another heart attack, or end up with brain damage if starved of oxygen for too long."

"No Gordon, he'll be fine." Mia continued. "He's a vicar. God will keep him safe."

He wasn't sure if she actually believed that or if she was just saying it to make him feel better. It did make him feel better, though.

"Mmm, you're right." He pulled her onto his lap and hugged her.

"I think my hero organist deserves a reward. How about a kiss for starters?" She flung her arms around him and kissed him full on the lips. The kiss developed into a full-blown snog, and just as Gordon was getting into it, they were interrupted.

"Here he is!" Norman shouted. "Oh...are we interrupting?"

Gordon broke the kiss and looked embarrassed. "Er..."

"Just giving my guy a hero's reward," Mia replied.

"Well done, Gordon," Reverend Morris said, shaking his hand. "Your quick actions there may just have saved Horatius' life.

"He's not just a talented organist," Mia interrupted. "He's my Gordy-pie!"

Later...

Reverend Fletcher slowly opened his eyes. There was an oxygen mask on his face and his vision was a little blurry.

"Uhh..."

"Horatius. It's me, Simon."

"Who are you?"

"Your friend and former student, Simon Morris."

"Are you really? Well that's jolly lovely! I didn't know I had a friend called Simon Morris."

"What's up with him?" Jenna asked, cautiously approaching his bedside.

"Erm, he seems a bit confused. Maybe it's the after effects of what's happened to him."

"Who's that?" Reverend Fletcher mumbled, straining his eyes to look at Jenna.

"This is Jenna, my wife."

"Oh how nice for you, she looks a lovely lady."

"He appears to have developed retrograde amnesia," Jenna said. "I wonder if it's just temporary?" Secretly, she was relieved.

"It's the strangest of things," Reverend Fletcher continued, becoming more aware of his surroundings. I can't remember what happened. But I was in a church of some sort. I was reading something. Then I saw the face of an angel. A beautiful angel, kneeling before me...very beautiful, a bit like your wife. Then, nothing but a bright, white light. It must've been the light of Heaven. But obviously God wasn't ready for my soul just yet. And so, he sent me back to Earth."

"A near-death experience?" Reverend Morris said.

"I truly have seen the light. I've been given a second chance. A chance to become a better person, and live my life to the full. It's a miracle!"

"A Christmas miracle!" Jenna smiled.

Outside in the hospital corridor, Gordon was anxiously waiting, along with Mia.

"Well...how is he?"

"Doctor says he should make a full recovery. But he'll need a pacemaker. He's been damned lucky, and your quick actions today saved his life. Apparently he's suffered from a dodgy ticker for years."

"When he was reading the sermon, I got the feeling he wasn't well, Gordon said. "He was sweating profusely and trembling. And his voice was shaky. All classic signs of an imminent heart attack."

Reverend Morris nodded. "There's one thing that the paramedics did mention, and it may be inappropriate to say this, but...well, when they removed his robes and examined him, he had a raging erection."

Gordon burst out laughing. "Ah well that explains the heart attack then. Not enough blood to go round. It had all rushed to his knob! Well I suppose if the worst had happened and he'd snuffed it, he would've died happy, eh? Dying with a raging hard-on, not a bad way to go."

"I wonder what on earth gave him an erection?" Mia wondered.

"Good speech? It was a very passionate sermon. Reminds me of that scene from the first Police Academy film. Ever seen that? The scene where the prostitute gives oral to the old copper whilst she's hiding in a podium. Only the old copper sees another bloke crawl out of the podium and thinks he did it."

"I remember that film," Reverend Morris replied. "Haha yes, that was a funny scene. I don't think that happened to the good Horatius Fletcher, although he claimed he saw the face of an angel before he collapsed."

Jenna, stood beside her husband, just smiled and said nothing.

Later still...

"What a day," Gordon said, as he and Mia arrived back from dining out at the Scabby Horse, a country pub dating back to the 17th century.

"That restaurant was lovely. I've really enjoyed our first Christmas Eve together. It's been magical."

Gordon removed the Santa hat he'd been wearing. "I'm so glad. After the trauma of this morning, then having to speak to the local press, it was a relief to finally relax!"

"Uh-oh," Mia groaned, noticing a car pulling up in front of the house. "Don't relax just yet. Mum's just arrived. She'd better not cause a scene! Oh why can't she just accept us? Your mum was really nice when I met her the first time."

Catherine Leesmith was a fun-loving eighty-two year old, who'd welcomed her son's much younger girlfriend with open arms.

"Don't panic, maybe she just wants to talk," Gordon replied. "Good evening Mrs Dickinson!"

"Oh my God! I watched BBC Northwest earlier." She turned to Gordon. "You were on the news. You...saved that vicar's life. Well done!"

"Well, I kept him alive until the paramedics came, yes." He awkwardly shuffled his feet.

Mia's mum walked right up to him. "Gordon. I've said...some things. Things I regret. And whilst I still think the age gap between the two of you is far too wide, I..."

Gordon and Mia held their breaths.

"...I can see how happy you are together, so if you're happy, then I'm happy. You're a good man, Gordon. You've certainly brought out the best in Mia."

Gordon smiled. "Thanks so much, Mrs Dickinson."

"Kathleen."

"Um, right. Kathleen. Er, Mia, tell your mum the good news!"

"You're not pregnant are you?"

"No Mum! I've just passed my driving test!"

"Oh congratulations, love! All thanks to Gordon as well I suppose?"

"No, I'm not taking any credit," he said. "She did this all on her own and worked damned hard. I provided encouragement, that's all. Right, come in and let's all have a cuppa...or if you want something stronger, we've got mulled wine, gin, beer...anything you like."

Mia hurried in first, thrilled that her mum had finally accepted her boyfriend.

"Gordon, I think Santa will be delivering a four-wheeled present tomorrow morning. I know you and my husband have been planning it for a while."

"Oh yes," he replied, tapping his nose. "Ssh. She doesn't suspect a thing."

They all entered Gordon's house, and Mia's mum couldn't help but admire her daughter's boyfriend...or manfriend, as she preferred to call him.

He's not my type, but quite attractive. And he has charisma, there's no doubt about that. There's something about him. He does cut a dashing figure in a suit and organist gown...

***

Reverend Morris and Jenna decided to have an early night.

"I've always believed that you see something...otherworldly at the point of death," he said as he climbed into bed. "I just can't stop thinking about what Horatius Fletcher said. You know, about seeing an angel. Sorry to keep going on about it."

"An angel must appear to reassure dying people that everything will be alright. Or in some cases maybe it takes the form of the dying person's loved one?" Jenna replied.

"Hmm, yes. Hard to fathom when you've never experienced it yourself. Oh well. At least we know Horatius will be okay. Not much of a Christmas for him, being stuck in hospital, but at least he's alive."

"Yep," Jenna smiled, snuggling up to her husband.

And with any luck, she thought to herself, he'll never fully regain his memory. He doesn't remember anything about filming Mia and Gordon, or how I took his phone and got Dwaine to erase it. He doesn't remember me inviting him to do the Sunday service either...or me sucking his cock. If he does eventually remember, people will just think he's round the bend...

"Merry Christmas Jen."

"Merry Christmas Simon."

They kissed.

The vicar fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, but Jenna wasn't quite ready to fall asleep just yet. When she was sure that her husband was well and truly in the arms of Morpheus, she slipped out of bed and picked up her smartphone off the bedside table. She hurried into the bathroom and shut the door. Switching on the phone, she opened a password-protected secure documents folder.

"Oh Gordon. I really do miss sucking that delicious thick cock of yours," she sighed as she fingered herself whilst watching the video of Mia and Gordon that Reverend Fletcher had filmed. So it hadn't been completely deleted after all. Dwaine had still been able to recover it using his expert coding skills...and transfer it to Jenna's phone. (For entirely personal use of course)!