All Comments on 'Surprise!'

Seems to me that Lyndsey is a bit of an evil bit. If I was Curtis I’d grab Mackenzie and get the fuck away from the demented bitch. Ties him up, brings her friend without consent and goes psycho on her when she gives in to her

your not wrong , i am working part 2 so will see how it unfolds. thanks for reading my story.

The consistent checking of "Is this okay?" by the protagonist was very helpful for alleviating the "is this okay?" I was going through with her. Well done, and keep writing. PM me if you want a read through before the next one comes out! Sensei Kevin on FetLife.

It was hard to read.

You you you you you

Very annoying, just tell the story from your point of view.