All Comments on 'Surprise'

Very romantic. Concept was excellent. Others will delve deeper and probably say some really stupid things (and for what reason is one of life's bizarre mysteries) but I have to say this; how was Sarah riding his face to orgasm and then KATY slid off of him??? Just that slip up spoiled the flow and the moment. I really can't understand how that happens. I'm not talking to writers about editing; spelling, grammar, sentence structure, etc. I'm talking about a very basic premise of proofreading before hitting 'SEND'. Read your own story. It's really almost too simplistic.

My cum dream true, if only it ever happened to me.

I've researched all of the toys and positions, and bought many of them with the hope that my wife might somehow understand how important this is to me. Alas, she attempted to 'get into it' for/with me but in the past five years has only acceded to attempt it (after all forms of begging, pleading, preparing, etc.) three times. None of them what they should have been. She's just not willing to give/get into it.

And he perspective on the reciprocation is "Don't POKE me!" any time I jerk off into her butt-crack - as close as she'll let me get to my thrill and goal.

This is a wonderful story. I loved it. I wish I could live it.

My apologies to anonymous. You are absolutely right that proofreading is important. This one slipped past me. I had changed the name for a variety of reasons and done a find replace. Apparently I had used "Katy" instead of "Kate" and missed that one. I do spend a lot of time on proofreading, but there will always be errors because I'm human, I have limited time, and this is simply a hobbie and fun pursuit.

I stopped before the first page as I might read it to my wife instead. Very romantic. This story has clearly been proof-read several times and the problem with little slip ups like 'Katy' is that you tend to read over your own writing without noticing stuff like that. It's too bad if that pulls some people out of the moment, but as a fellow writer I just smile a little and continue on.

In case the guy with the second comment ever comes back, I feel your pain, but begging/pleading is never going to work, because it makes you unattractive and then she won't want any of these things for that reason alone. I know all about the 'failed preps' too. I actually now think it just has to be an open conversation at a relaxed time. Don't surprise her with a bunch of toys (unless she's the one getting tied up). Try asking (ahead of time) if she would like to try this again for your birthday or anniversary. But only after about 6 months since the last failed attempt.

Really like it. Well thought out and it flowed well. The tone was nice.

I write here too and I have made name slips. It's easy to miss. I usually work on more than one story at a time. It doesn't distract from the story. Any time i read an old story of mine, i've found new errors.

It felt like I was reading an instruction manual on how to set up a scene in a porno.

Very dry.