Surrendering to Our Desires

My name is Jessica. I'm 29, work in publishing, and have been completely faithful to my boyfriend for the past six years. Until today. Today I'm on my knees in the Denver hotel room of a coworker. My lipstick is smeared. My top and panties are both gone, leaving me in only my black skirt. My nipples are hard as rocks and my pussy is swollen with desire as I slowly pull down the zipper in front of me and reach into Jamal's pants. I'm not disappointed.

It takes some work to fish his stiff cock out of his pants. It's beautiful. Easily eight inches long with a blunt, plumb shaped head. The shaft is a deep brown, with a large, powerful looking vein running along the top of it. As I slowly jerk it, a drop of pre-cum gathers. I want it.

I point the cock down towards my mouth and push my broad tongue against the head, smearing his pre-cum against it. Jamal moans. I do it again, and then press the tip of my tongue against his slit like I'm trying to drill into him and get more.

I lift his cock up and kiss it gently once near his testicles. Then again further up the shaft. Then again. Then I take the full head into my mouth and run my tongue around it.

I want this. I've wanted it for a long time. My boyfriend Sean is a wonderful man. He's a generous lover. I love him. But I've always had a certain itch that he cannot scratch. I've always fantasized about a man with a large cock. Particularly a large black cock. Sean has a very nice dick. It's 6.5" long. It's reasonably thick. It turns an angry red when I tease it long enough. I love it. But it isn't everything I want. It's not what I think about when I'm alone in bed fucking myself with my fingers or my dildo. What I fantasize about in those moments isn't a dick. It's a cock. A big, black cock. An eight inch, a ten inch cock. I fantasize about being owned by it.

Jamal is too big for me to get too much of him into my mouth. I get maybe half of his thick, bloated shaft into my mouth as I start bobbing my head up and down on him. I feel him undoing his belt and pull off of him for a moment while he slides his pants down. I take a moment to lick my hand and begin using it to jerk him off while I suck him. My other hand I slip under my skirt as I start playing with my clit. My pussy lips feel thick and swollen. I'm dripping wet as I start masturbating on my knees in front of him. I look up and see him smirking down at me wantonly fingering myself as I suck on him. He tips his head back and lets out a long, low moan. I want to pleasure him.

My fingers find my clit and start rubbing it rapidly as I begin bobbing my head up and down at an ever increasing pace.

"Slow down, Jess," he asks huskily. "You're going to make me cum."

I don't slow down. Looking up I can see his abs starting to contract. I know he's close, but he's trying to fight it. He wants to fuck my tight pink pussy, but I want him to finish in my mouth. I want him to flood my mouth with his seed.

I pull my soaking wet hand away from my pussy and bring it up to play with his balls. He moans and once again rolls his head back. I then slide my finger back and find his puckered hole. "Whoa," he starts to exclaim as I circle the rim, but before he can say anything more I stab it into him. My lubricated finger pushes four inches into his body. His cock strains in my mouth. "Oh my god," he gasps as I pull it almost all the way out then shove it back in. Then I do it again. And again.

I feel his hole seize up around my finger and his cock swell in my mouth. It holds like that for maybe five seconds before I feel his asshole open up and then snap shut again. His cock lurches. On the second seizure I feel the first rope of cum spurt against the back of my mouth. It's thick and earthy. He moans loudly as wave after wave of orgasm pulses through him, as spurt after spurt of cum fills my mouth. I swallow as much as I can, but some begins leaking out of my mouth. After 30 of the longest and most intense seconds of my life he lets out a low moan and teeters on shaking legs. I pull my finger out of him and let his cock fall from my mouth. Right there on the floor I lean back on my knees and, thrusting my cunt forward, begin to furiously stroke my clit. I reach up with one hand and cup my breast, sliding my hand forward to pinch my hard nipple. I begin to emit a steady mewling sound as my hand moves faster and faster.

I cum like that right in front of him. I nearly scream from the overstimulation as my pussy pulses and my fluids ooze out onto the carpet below me. Soon my clit becomes too sensitive to touch and I have to let it go. I am gasping, kneeling there on the floor as he gazes at me, his cock now shrunken down to a semi-flacid five inches. I shakily lean forward, take his more manageable size in and suck his remaining cum into my mouth. With that I climb to my feet, collect my clothes and head for the door. I take one last look back at his glistening body as he lays down on the bed, and then I am gone.

——————

My flight back to New York arrives mid afternoon the next day. I spend a long slow cab ride contemplating what I'm going to tell Sean and how I'm going to tell him. I decide I want to tell him while I'm fucking him. I'm hoping his arousal will help him process it.

Sean gets home at 6:00. He had been out for a run after work and comes in with his lean body glistening with sweat. We are both avid runners and hikers, so we are both quite fit. After a quick kiss, he tells me he's heading upstairs for a shower. I wait a few moments, then peel my pants and underwear off and quietly climb up the stairs.

He's in front of the bathroom mirror when I round the corner. As he puts his toothbrush down, I take him in. His fit swimmers build. His tight ass in front of me. His cock hanging down in the mirror reflection.

His eye's come up and he sees me at the doorway. I have an arm up on the window frame. I'm still wearing my top, but my hairless pussy is exposed. One hand is lazily massaging my pubis just above my clit. I see him starting to grow as he smirks at me. "Miss me," he asks.

"I did," I reply with a knowing look.

I walk forward and give him a long, deep kiss. I can feel him stiffening against my stomach. I break the kiss and turn him around so he's facing the mirror. Sliding up behind him, I reach around and start stroking him. His manhood is rock hard in my hand. I slide his foreskin up and down, using the underside of his flaring helmet as a break until I see the first big drop of pre-cum ooze from his urethra. I move my thumb up and rub the slick fluid around the sensitive head. He groans.

Sean grabs my arm and turns around. He kisses me hard. I feel his shaft against my lips as he subtly, instinctively rocks his hips back and forth. But just when I think he's going to give in and push into me, he pulls back. He spins me so I'm facing the mirror. He grabs the bottom of my shirt and slides it over my head. Behind me, he undoes my bra and pulls it off, exposing my pert C-Cup breasts. My nipples tighten up in the cool air as he begins kissing my neck and shoulders.

Sean reaches around and cups them, trapping my nipples between his thumbs and forefingers. He pinches. It teeters right on that edge of pleasure and pain. His cock feels like a little furnace against my ass. Then his kisses start moving down my back. Soon he's kissing the little dimples on my lower back. The top of the cleft between my cheeks. He's kissing the cheeks. He's running his tongue lightly along the crack of my ass. I feel him spread me open.

Nothing happens for a moment and I know he's looking at me. Looking at my wet pussy. At my tight pink asshole. I flex it. I feel his tongue. He doesn't lick me softly this time. He doesn't start slow. Sean mashes his tongue against my little hole, sliding it along the crack of my ass. He does it again, this time starting with it pushing into my pussy before sliding it up to my asshole and beyond. He returns and starts lapping at my asshole hungrily. He's pushing the tip of his tongue into me. I gasp and shut my eyes, luxuriating in the feeling of him eating my ass. His hand comes up to my pussy. He starts rubbing my clit while he eats me. My legs grow weak and I need to support myself with my hands on the sink as he worms his tongue into me. He lets go of my ass, leaving the hand that's playing with my clit.

Below me, I hear a cap opening. I hear a wet sound. He's poured lube onto his cock. He's jerking off under me while his tongue is buried in my ass. I smile as I listen to him stroking his hard cock. I wish I could watch. I love it when he jerks off. I love knowing he's so excited he can't keep his hands off of himself. On lazy days when he wants to fuck I sometimes just make him jerk off for me. I lie there, play with my pussy, and ask him to cum for me. I love to watch him spray all over his stomach and chest.

——————

We've shared a lot of fantasies on those lazy days. We've talked about our experiences. He knows about the time I let Stacey Simmons eat my pussy in college. I know about the time he played a game of strip poker that ended up with two girls sucking on his cock while everyone watched. I know about the time in high school he ended up jerking off with his two best friends while they watched porn together. He knows about my black cock fantasies.

That last item has taken up an ever bigger part of our fantasy life over the past couple years. At first I was reluctant to tell him about it, so I was thrilled the first time he veered into "hot wife" territory. I moaned out loud the first time he brought up watching me fuck another man, his voice husky with desire, while he stroked his greased up cock. Hearing my reaction he dove into the subject, stroking himself quicker and quicker while describing different scenarios. Threesomes. Cheating. Big cock. Multiple men. I loved them all, but it really set me off when he would describe watching me get fucked by a big, black cock.

I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I came all over my vibrator the first time he brought up a black man. I just exploded. I remember my body seizing up the moment he said the words I'd been secretly wanting to hear. My eyes snapped closed and I shoved my vibrator deep into my pussy as I came. When I opened them, Sean was coated in cum. It dripped from his hand. It coated his chest. A shot had made it all the way to his face and cum dripped from his lips. I crawled over to him and kissed him hard, tasting his cum and pushing it into his mouth with my tongue.

It wasn't long after that we bought our first big dildo. It was 10" long, thick as my wrist, and I couldn't even take it at first. For three sessions, I sucked on it, I rubbed it against me, I pushed the head into my pussy while he whispered his stories to me. On the forth try, however, it finally pushed into me. I loved the feeling. I loved how it slowly forced me open. I loved the edge of pain and the promise of pleasure. Sometimes I would lie there fucking myself to orgasm while he watched. Sometimes he would blindfold me, push me onto all fours and fuck me from behind like the dildo was his own. Afterwards I would be so stretched out I could barely feel him in me, so we bought a buttplug that I would wear while he fucked me with the dildo. After I came, while I was facedown on the mattress gasping, he would pull it out of my upturned ass, shove himself into me, and fill me with his cum. By then he was usually so turned on that he would last seconds before exploding.

We would talk a lot during and after those sessions. Much of it was sharing our filthy fantasies, but over time it changed. It became more real. We talked about not just what we could imagine, but what we could imagine doing. We talked a lot about threesomes. We visited a sex club downtown a couple of times. It was incredibly hot having Sean inside me in a public place, but we hesitated in moving from exhibition to adding partners. It was during this time that I learned about Sean's cuckold fantasies. Along with the threesomes, we shared a lot of scenarios involving me going out and finding my fantasy cock. Me fucking other men and then coming home to tell Sean all about it. In our filthiest moments I would whisper in his ear tales of me coming home, my panties wet with another man's cum, while I jerked him off. If I wanted to make him really explode I would tell him how I'd push his head down and make him eat my used pussy. Sean would wimpier and coat my hand with his cum as I described him lapping another man's seed out of me. The line between a shared fantasy and an open invitation got blurrier and blurrier over time.

Which brings us back to now.

——————

I'm leaning up against the sink. His cock is in his right hand. His left hand is slowly fingering me. His tongue is halfway up my asshole. I open my eyes and whisper, "I've done something, Sean."

He pulls his tongue out of me and pushes his fingers deeper. "What kind of something," he asks with a grin.

"Something bad," I rely with a grin as his tongue returns to my asshole. "But something I hope you'll like."

Sean keeps eating me. I know he's waiting for me to continue. My head bows forward as I have my first small orgasm. It's time.

I reach back and grab his shoulder. I pull him up. Reluctantly, he separates himself from my asshole. He loves eating ass. Still stroking his cock, he rises up until the tip reaches my pussy. I reach back and take if from him. I slide his lubed member up and down my ass. I briefly push the head against my anus, rubbing it in a tight circle against my hole. He always gets so turned on by anal play. I then push it down an inch to my other opening and slowly, steadily guide it into me. I let out a low moan as he bottoms out. He goes to withdraw, but I hold him steady for a moment, enjoying the way he's filled me up. Then I let him start to fuck me. He goes slow.

"So, what did you do, you naughty girl," he asks me in a low whisper.

I let the question hang for thirty seconds while I enjoy him. Finally I reply. "So... the Denver trip. You know how Elaine was supposed to come with me for the meetings?"

"Yes," he responds as he slowly saws in and out of me. He reaches up and pinches my left nipple.

"Well, she didn't. Her daughter got sick and she needed to stay in the city."

Clearly enjoying my pussy, it now takes him a moment to reply. "Ok. So..."

"Jamal took her place."

Sean stops dead. I can feel his cock pulsing inside me. He's close. Keeping still to try to keep from coming. I see him in the mirror looking down at where his cock is disappearing inside of me. He looks back up. I can't really read his expression. He knows who Jamal is. He knows he's a handsome, charming black man. What's more, he's played racketball with Jamal a couple of times. He's seen him in the sauna. He knows what Jamal is packing.

"What...what did you do," he whispers to my reflection in the mirror. The look in his eyes is somewhere between lust and panic.

I decide to stretch it out for a bit. "We...," Sean thrusts into me again. "We had a productive trip." I moan as he slowly fucks me. "The conference was a big success. We...solidified deals with a few vendors. But the big coup was closing the Parker account Friday night."

"Nothing sounds...bad there," Sean says, his eyes boring into me as the slow sawing in and out of my cunt continues.

"Afterwards, we went out for dinner to celebrate."

There's a brief hitch, but Sean keeps fucking me.

"We did this New American place downtown. The usual farm to table stuff, but good. Quite good. I...drank a lot of wine with dinner.

Another brief hitch. "Go on."

"After dinner, Jamal invited me up to his room for a drink. He had this nice bottle of Carménère."

Sean thrusts into me a little harder, slapping against my ass.

"I..." I stopped there. The moment of truth.

"What? What did you do."

"I was a little tipsy...No, I was a little drunk, and..."

"And what? What?" Sean is thrust all of the way into me. I can feel him pulsing again. His testicles are tight up against my pussy. He's right on the edge.

Sean looks down at where our bodies meet again, then looks up at me. He whispers, "Did you...Did he...Did he fuck you?"

"No," I whisper back staring right into the reflection of his eyes. I let it hang for a moment.

"I sucked his cock."

Sean explodes. I feel his cock jumping inside me as he unleashes rope after rope of cum. His whole body convulses. It is intense. I can see it. I can feel it. His grip on my ass is tight enough that he'll leave marks. After the fifth contraction he pulls out, and then slams back into me. His cock is still lurching inside of me. I cum hard. Could he possibly still be spitting his seed into me?

"I sucked him, baby," I moan out through my orgasm. "I sucked his big cock."

Sean lets out a moan.

"And he was big, baby. So big." I hesitate before this last part. "Bigger than you." I hope it's not too much.

Sean shoves himself as deeply into me as he can and holds. His cock strains. It is still jumping, but the convulsions are weakening. He's almost done. Little by little, his hands loosen up on me. He looks like he's on the verge of tears. He also looks overcome with lust.

"I sucked him till he came, baby. He came in my mouth," I gasp. "I drank his cum, and then I fingered myself at his feet until I came all over his floor."

Sean looked like he'd been punched. He swayed behind me, his still hard cock remaining inside me. I take a deep breath and then pull myself forward. He slides out of me. I turn around, put a hand on his chest, and I kiss him. His lips don't move at first, but then he begins to respond.

"I love you," I whisper into his ear. He pulls his head back for a moment, looks deep into my eyes, and then he lunges in. His lips meet mine. His tongue pushes deep into my mouth. The mouth that had choked on Jamal's cock a few short hours ago. I reach down. Somehow, his dick is still hard as a rock. I keep chanting, "I love you. I love you. I love you," as he kisses lips, my neck, my tits.

Soon we leave the bathroom. Soon he's got the dildo shoved inside me. Soon he's opening up my ass. I take his next load in my asshole while he fucks my mouth with the dildo. He's telling me to imagine it's Jamal fucking my mouth. I smile around the big plastic cock. He isn't leaving me. He isn't angry. He's in.

——————

It's 11:00, three months after the events with Jamal. It's dark inside our tent. Sean is naked below me, although I'm still clothed. He is breathing heavily as I work my hand up and down his slicked cock. We are on an overnight camping trip on the island of St. Lucia. There is no one else here except our guide James who is out by the campfire. I bring my other hand down and start circling Sean's clenched asshole.

"Are you sure," I ask him.

"Yes," he hisses back through clenched teeth.

"Really sure," I ask again as I push the tip of my finger into him. "Once I go out there, there'll be no going back."

"Yes."

I smile. I lean down and kiss him hard as I ease my finger all of the way into him. He moans into my mouth, his cock straining in my hand. I force his legs apart and hump him, driving my finger deeper. When I break the kiss, I slowly pull it out. I let go of his manhood, and without another word I unzip the tent.

Outside the night is black. The only light is from the fire fifty feet away. I see James there by its side. He is sitting there, his shirt open revealing his well defined chest. The top button of his shorts is undone. He is taking a swig from the bottle of rum we've been nursing all night. He looks delicious.

I walk towards the fire softly. I can see him, but he can't see me. Not until I enter the ring of light around it. He looks up when I do.

"Jessica," he greets me. It almost sounds like he's been expecting me. I stand there for a moment, drinking him in. Then, without a word, I pull my sports bra off and reveal my breasts to him. My nipples stiffen in the cool night air. He is still for a moment and then a big knowing grin spreads across his face. He beckons me over. I go.