All Comments on 'Survival in The Back Yard'

YOU earned 5 stars for a balanced story!

Nice job. We're left wondering about Don coming around for another shot at Mick, tho. Perhaps a followup story?

It worked out in the end!

5

Don Henley’s (et. al.) Heartache Tonight is the song that comes to mind for me, particularly “Somebody’s gonna hurt someone … Somebody’s gonna come undone…”. Fighting and fucking are an undeniable duo at the most primal human (animal) level. Somehow I also can’t get Rae Dawn Chong’s Quest For Fire and Daryl Hannah’s Clan Of The Cave Bear out of my mind. A helluva a fun story with a full cast of morally ambiguous, but still somehow sympathetic and compelling characters - even Don, who in the end took his punishment like a man and kept his mouth shut. Very enjoyable and entertaining. Tough and gritty suits you well. Thanks very much.

The way you've written the character and the fact she doesn't blame herself, it's obvious she'll cheat on him again.

Mick's an idiot.

Good story, well written.

Mick never got a real commitment from the wife to give up her lover, so him returning home is on her terms more than his. Mick won his fight, but is still going to lose the war to keep his wife faithful.

Interesting story crap ending.

Don got a nice beat down. Didn't sound like he learned his lesson though. Next husband might use a bullet. Not everyone is a trained fighter.

Pretty good story with a big “Don” loose end. 4*

5***** Best story of the last few weeks. If Donny is dumb enough to return for a rematch, Mick will dump a barrel of whoop-ass on him.

She will cheat again. No remorse.

Nora never did think she'd done anything wrong, except get caught.

That was fun, but what happened to Don?

Disgusting people, self-centered and narcissistic, ready to betray anyone for their own selfishness. A totally fempov unbalanced and one-sided tale, with the usual husbands described like brainless sheeps and the slut wives like the smartest cats in town.

Yuck. Mick's an idiot and Nora knows she has the upper hand. Truth is, women lose respect for a man they are able to cheat on. Since Elle, according to the story, can't keep her panties on, Liam will in time have, at the minimum, a hall pass and Nora will undoubtedly help him use it.

Hmm. Not too sure about this one but it was entertaining.

I don't believe Nora was anything but a pathetic bitch when it came to fidelity and her shitty attitude toward it only got worse with counseling.

Whatever happened to the excellent author Demander used to be? This would shame a pubescent teenager.

As always from this author a top tale..5

Good story! Kind of left hanging without the second confrontation between the two male antagonists! Would have been a five star story if that confrontation had happened.

🌟🌟🌟🌟

I've encountered "Nora" types in real life. Mick was a moron. She'll be fucking other guys as soon as she thinks she's "safe". Also, what about the wonderful Don? He swore he would get back at Mick.

The story worked for me, even with the odd phrasing and pacing. I wonder whatever happened to Don... Four stars.

JPB

Two idiots with two whores,,, what could go wrong?

3 stars simply because the ending too abrupt.

Well written, good plot, not too real, but good fiction

I thought the next fight was pending. Don promised a rematch. The story needed to tie up the loose end. Otherwise, a readable and fine tale.

This could have been good.

Your stories are becoming repetitive. Too choppy, at times read like bullet points. Predictable.

Nah

Great story. Simple, well written and a positive ending. Thanks for posting.

Disgusting RAAC with a piece of shit who didn't love him, didn't respect him and had the morals of a back alley crack whore. Actually I take that back, it's an insult to prostitutes - most of them are honest and deliver what they promise and don't cheat ya. So I guess the morals of a snake. She'll be cheating within a year again, just hide it better because she's so "smart".

Pretty good. Generally a btb fan but this was good too. Thanks

No. Not a bit. When Liam is the most decent person in the story, they’re some shit characters. Reconciliation, on the part of either Don or the slut, is simply unbelievable.

Only a mater of time until Nora finds another cut, forceful, young stud to make her feel good about herself. Maybe the two of them deserve each other. Story was well written, thanks Dman.

Thanks D. a different swing on things. *****

Well written but I hate cuck stories. Sue me, I’m biased. 3 stars.

I suppose every reader wants a nice, tidy ending with everything wrapped up neatly because, well, what else is fiction for, but I think you did a nice job of drawing the characters and we should have a pretty good idea of what happens going forward. Nice work.

So in this story all the females are just unrepentantly loose women with not able to maintain fidelity even when they are in love with someone else. Even her therapist made it a point to have her believe she should have no remorse. That's a world I want no part of, not far removed from being animals operating on only instinct.

One of your least entertains tales in a longtime. It started with an MC that was totally unlikable. And then it got stupid. Sorry D….this one bombed.

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2 **

Finally! A great story with emotion from all main characters with enough sex thrown in to make it titillating too. Thanks.

another vote for completing the "Mick v Don" rematch thread, otherwise this is just 3 * for me

Getting back with the person that intentionally fucked up your current relationship? What a dumbass

Liked the fact he taught the black belt a lesson but Nora disrespected him big time.

I'm a little surprised, I've been a fan of your work for some time but this... It felt rushed and there were places I thought you could have taken it further, perhaps fleshed it out in places. It seemed like you started strong and then became bored and shut it down quick.

Pros: MC rebalanced the relationship. Story is concisely written.

Cons: As others have mentioned, no resolution regarding Don. RAAC. Not sure why Don would spend so much effort on an older woman.

Really liked it. Should do a sequel with Don trying again.

inka2222: You sure you read the story close enough? Especially the end bit?

Overall, didn't much like the story. Demander's stories have really gone quite downhill over the past while. For most of it, I thought I was reading about industrial robots, the characters had about as much emotion or life to them.

The end twist was contrived and dumb.

Pretty slick lawyer trick. It made this RAAC palatable.

Yeah, reconciliation is a no for this one, she even told Don that they would cool it down, until she got Mick back, she's likely still cheating on him with Don. Mick needed to cut his losses, he knows that she is a schemer, that's a red flag, she doesn't love him, you cannot claim to love someone and then cheat on them, man, before stories were alright, now they're just sad, this was definitely one of them. She'll likely find a way to sleep with Liam or scheme to swapping.

3 stars. Not one of your better ones. Agree with the comments left by sdn1955 and inka2222.

What happened to Don?

Okay story. What happened to Don? Three stars ⭐️ for this one.

What happened to Don? I thought his thing was to retaliate. I would have a hard time trusting the slut

Should have stopped after the backyard fight

From a great plot to a rubbish great job

Good job. You hit all the points. Thank you for your work

So, you guys, if you were Don, would you fight Mick again? D

Some problem points, but overall a good read. Please do another.

Hooked

To answer Demander… HELL YES! Don believes he is the more perfect male (younger, better looking, able to fuck Mick’s wife, etc.). Also he knows he wasn’t “ready”, was sucker-punched, and is a champion black belt. He just doesn’t know Mick won’t quit.

This story was tightly written and very easy to read. I will say that Don was a loose thread, but I don’t imagine a second confrontation would have been profitable for anyone so Don just continued on in life. If I were Don, I would not fight Mick again. Upper class or upper middle class people have a natural disinclination from disorganized violence. Guys that grow up fighting at least a little don’t have that hesitation and it would probably end the same way. Best case scenario, against odds, Don wins a Pyrrhic victory and gets no more sex.

I think it showcased your ability to create a very engrossing and realistic story. Is it the greatest story ever written? No, but it was pretty good. I do wish there were partial stars because I think it’s a solid 4.3.

Now, I think this story is handled, ironically, pretty bloodlessly… emotionally. We understood Mick’s anger and it was both shown and told, but I didn’t really viscerally sense the anger.

It’s kinda funny, it’s a relationship between a fighter and an attorney and has a lot of the hallmarks of fighting, but is told very much like a lawyer. There was a breach of contract, there was a remuneration, and a reconciliation. Even the aforementioned potential Don rematch was more akin to settling a suit out of court rather than rolling the dice in front of a judge and jury.

Don is gen z all day !

You really ought to consider dialogue. No dialogue, no story.

Don would try to fight again, but still wouldn’t succeed. Don trained taekwondo for points. My grandmaster taught for survival. You don’t easily make the switch from points to blood and bones.

demander asked: "So, you guys, if you were Don, would you fight Mick again?" D

No. Don would be a fool to do so. He coud train to fight a no rules fight and probably make a pretty good show of it. But Mick had over 20 previous fights against opponents who trained just like he had. Don would have to take the sucker punch to Mick immediately and make it count.

There have been matches between martial arts and other fighting styles. The MA guys don't always come out on top.

Didn't like the character of Nora. I despise married women who have a good life but "feel" they "need" something more or extra and seek it out in the arms of another man. I also despise men, married or not, who only want to wet their wick but CHOOSE married women to do so. Plenty of single women are available to chase, going after the married ones just to flaunt their "alpha maleness" is some kind of mental illness. It should be legal for the offended husband to hunt their wives lovers down and end them. Just saying...just an opinion.

I liked it, and gave it 4 stars. I think the cop scene at the hospital and at Mick and Nora's house left a little to be desired, meaning could have been stretched out a little more (added detail). I have no idea what the bike ride part of the story was about, other than some fill on Elle. And Don's mother being there didn't really add much to the story either.

The question about should Don fight Mick again is I don't know. He already lost once to him, so I guess a better question is does Don think he could beat Mick in another fight after he heals up. It's one of those deals that could go either way, and Mick could fuck him up again.

That was just about the perfect story as it hit on all cylinders. Nice job. I liked the characters...and I loved the fighting.

Don is stupid, of course, he'll try again and get his ass kicked again. It's like Reacher said, "the trouble with boxing is there are too many rules." MA guys are trained to fight by the rules. MMA proved that street fighting is WAAAAY different than fighting in a ring.

Mick was no wimp.

He is an A-geade SIMP.

He could have found a woman younger and loyal. But no this guy loves cheating hoes.

He is to me a closet cuckold.

I hate cuck stories.

So she almost cheated with the redhead? She is not trustworthy

Not a bad story, probably closer to reality than what one would think.

Trust Nora, noooo!

Watch her cues?

You bet.

Divorce in the future sometime?

Almost certain.

Can Nora save it?

Maybe, her choice, and Micks.

Scores 4/5

Thinking on the story, l agree with several comments, it does need a sequel, and, yes, the sequel is about the return of Don.

Nora invited him to pursue her, he will and use his pursuit to set a fight with Nick again.

He wants her and he wants revenge. Would make a good read as well.

Write it Demander.

GREAT STORY!!!!

Mick is still in a bad place. All said and done, Nora told Don ‘maybe’ she’d be with him again. She never told Mick or Don differently. Definitely can’t be trusted. Then there’s Don’s planned revenge… Mick had surprise on his side. He knows how to take a hit and would get his own shots in, but it’d at least be a very different fight.

Characterless protagonists who deserve each other!

Thoroughly implausible. And, Mick is written as a spineless simp. Very tiresome.

ok story but I really have no idea why either of them remain married. Sounds like some situation where they maybe be friends with benefits but not married.

Ok. 3*. Too many loose ends for a higher score.

backyard fight and semi 3way with Elle were the best parts.

Looks like you’re getting slammed a little here in the comments, but I liked it. Thanks for the time and effort. KS

“Her therapy was allowing her to overcome her shame.”

This sums up the characters and culture of demander’s world. In his stories adultery isn’t objectively wrong, and doesn’t occur until there’s actual penetration. Flirting, kissing, and dating someone other than your spouse is just fine as long as there’s no vaginal sex. Everything else goes.

For him, the only betrayal is if other people know that his wife cheated, and he’ll lose public respect.

I wonder what else isn’t objectively wrong in demander’s world?!? Is stealing okay as long as you don’t get caught? Rape? Murder?

ZK

This... Fell of the rails like it was hit by a 747.

I'm not sure I've ever seen anything crash and burn quite like this before, god damn.

You make all the characters parodies of comic book villains and everyone just.. accepts it?

" I love him more than anything but if he leaves me it's whatever, your cocks better" wiiiiiild.

"I'm falling in love with you, but I went on and banged a stranger after he told me everything was a lie" wiiiiiild

"You cheated and treated me like garbage, sabotaged me when I was starting to be happy again, but meh, nice tits" wiiiiiild.

Not to mention the out of the blue office threesome.

The first half was really good, but this came off like a parody of a parody.

Nice read. Thanks for your writing.

you really need to find a new story and new characters... your stories are all the same: husband loves wife; wife is a slut-cheat and makes him a cuck; he takes her back and all is forgiven. All characters are evil or stupid or both. The stories are all the same, so all get same score; one star.

same pattern husband ends up being a bitch and goes back to wife.. general rule author is ball less so stories them mc guy is too.

A strange tale wrapped around a trope and a couple cliches. I was between three stars and four, but then said what the hell. Four stars, but so damn close to three.

JPB NOT BOB

He's this great guy, rich, strong, confident, and all he has in his life are worthless sluts. He stays with the conniving bitch wife and she WILL cheat on him again. Hell, all her failure of a therapist did was teach her that her cheating wasn't her fault and she shouldn't blame herself! What kind of quack does that? "She stopped blaming herself. She was only human, and Don was a hunk." Oh, well, in that case go ahead and fuck anyone who catches your fancy, Slutzilla. The fact that she didn't even have the concern for Mick to put a little space between her and Liam when they danced in public at Liam's own wedding shows that whatever respect she had for him flew out the window when he took her back. Then we have Elle whose only advantage over Cuntwife is that she ADMITS she's a slut. It took one flirty conversation with a plant for her to jump on his cock... at work... where she knew Mick would see.

Seriously, the guy's rich and fit and has pussy throwing itself at him. Dump the whore and get some self-respect back. You can't allow yourself to stay with someone who has no respect for you, no matter how much you love them. It's self-destructive. She's already given herself an excuse to cheat again and his screwing around with Elle and adding her into the experience further erodes whatever moral high ground he had. She'll find another young hard body and fuck him and this time she'll have the experience to know how to hide it better. What a terrible ending.

Good story, just faltered on getting to the reconciliation. There was not enough time, remorse, regret or redemption for that reconciliation to feel right to me. Divorce and revenge through success ending was more appropriate.

Don't think I'd want Elle working alongside me either. For the same reasons divorcing Nora felt like the right decision, trust. Elle accepted a date with Liam after pursuing Mick, then didn't tell Mick that she was told about Nora's manipulation... and still went along with it.

Ella and Nora have flawed character

Too rushed. Needs an editor. Take your time with your next story.