Surviving the ravages of life

"Phoebe, it..."

"Give it a rest Sara. You weren't interested. That's all you had to say."

Turning away, I pushed my way through the mass of grinding throbbing bodies. Megan, saw me, and wrapped her arms around my neck. "Hey baby spice. Where yah been?"

With a kiss on her cheek, I leaned close. "I'm going home Meg, I'm not feeling it."

"Oh phooey. I'll come with."

"No, stay, I'm just a little tired. It's been a long week."

"You sure ducks?"

"Yeah, you stay. I'll get a taxi. Thanks for a great night. Love you."

"Yeah babes. Love you back. Be careful aye!"

Outside the night air slapped me hard. It wasn't cold, but at two AM, it was refreshing. I never liked to wander far from the lights, fortunately the taxi rank lived across the road, and one pulled up as I arrived.

"What was she doing." I growled to myself. Was she following me? Or was she just throwing herself at somebody, anybody?"

Not a question I could answer, but the pangs of jealousy were unmissable. Blast it...

The courtroom was full, the case had created quite a stir after it was upgraded to attempted murder. Phoebe, did maintain name suppression, but it didn't stop the hoard of despicable reporters feeding, like starving hyenas, they ripped and tore at the carcass. I was thankful that Phoebe didn't have to attend.

I stared into the vacant empty recesses where normal people have eyes. His were black sockets devoid of light. His sneering features displayed not one single morsel of remorse.

His court appointed legal aid barrister didn't really put up much of a fight. It was obvious to all that he was guilty. Why he pleaded not guilty I'll never know.

When the judge handed down his verdict, there was a loud gasp of satisfaction. Glancing around the faces of the people surrounding me. I realised the gasp was mine. I quietly celebrated his ten year sentence. It wasn't enough, it would never be enough, but it was more than I hoped for.

That night, I enjoyed a celebratory glass of wine. The sentence wasn't severe enough, but at least he was in jail where he belonged. I went to bed early, I wish I could have slept, but it didn't happen. I tossed and turned, frustrated by my inability to clear my mind.

God knows what time it was when my phone chirped. I answered hesitantly.

"Hello, Phoebe, are you all right?"

After answering the call, all I could hear was sobbing, not hysterics, but pitiful consistent cries. "Phoebe, are you there?"

"Sara, I don't think I can do this..."

"What are you talking about?" I gasped in shock... She sounded Desolate.

"Life... This horrible existence. I feel so insignificant, worthless."

"Are you at home?"

"Yeah."

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes. Please don't do anything silly. Just wait for me. I'm on my way."

Leaping out of bed. I made a dash for my car. Blast it, why was every traffic light in the city red tonight. "Come on." I screamed at the lights... "Hurry up, there's not even any cars."

"Phoebe, let me in." I yelled hammering on her front door. Again no response. It was my third go at trying to get her to at least respond. "Open the damn door. If it's not open in two minutes, I'm calling the police."

The door swung open, and Phoebe, stood with her eyes glaring at me. "What do you want?"

"To talk, it's what you wanted isn't it. You called me remember."

"Sorry." She groaned pitifully. "I shouldn't have called you."

"Open the door Phoebe, let me in."

"Why, what do you care."

"You're my friend. Of course I care."

She unlatched the chain and waved me inside. The apartment bathed in darkness. The only light coming from the backlit TV.

Inside the door, I slid my arms around her waist, glaring into her eyes. "What happened Phoebe. I thought everything was going well for you?"

"No it fucking wasn't." She shrieked, her foot stomping on the hardwood floor. "I was barely holding on. You were my life preserver, and you just pushed me away. I'm not okay." She bawled hysterically. She sank to the ground, her head in her hands, her body shuddering violently.

Tossing my handbag onto the sofa, I flopped down beside her, my arms embracing her. "It will be all right. Shush, just breathe. Let everything go, just focus on breathing."

I felt her soften a little, her breathing steadying. "Good, now let it go, the anger, the frustration, just let it go."

She rubbed her nose on my neck, her face nuzzled into the side of my neck. I let my hand rest on her head as I rocked us both. "Shush... Relax... Breathe. Good girl, in with the good, out with the bad. Let it all just melt away."

"I hate you." She whimpered, as her arms wound around my neck. "I fucking hate you."

"That's okay, I love you." I replied, my mouth exhaling by her ear.

"No you don't." She hissed. "You don't even like me."

"You know better than that Phoebe. We are friends, I love you."

"You didn't even talk to me in the club."

"I couldn't, what was I going to say... Good luck?"

"Would that have been so bad?"

"I couldn't say it because it would have been untrue."

"What does that mean?" Her wet succulent lips moved against my skin, her breath warm, moist. Little droplets of moisture forming. Her nose, wet and sticky rubbing irritating.

"It means, I didn't wish you well. I didn't want you to go with her. Your first time should be with somebody who cares for you. Not some casual hook up."

"Why didn't you stop me?"

"I couldn't. She was your choice."

"No she wasn't."

"You aren't making sense Phoebe."

"I was trying to make you jealous."

"How did you know I was there?"

"I didn't. I went there to meet somebody, anybody. I needed somebody to hold me, to care."

"I care, you should have called me."

Her mouth opened, her tongue slid wetly over the skin of my neck. Her juicy lips kissing me.

"Phoebe, please..."

"Don't you like?"

"It's not that."

She wriggled closer, her arms tightening around my neck. Her creamy soft flesh rubbed my mouth. I couldn't resist. I felt my mouth open, the skin of her neck inviting my kiss, my nibbling kiss. I moved, her skin seductive, delicious.

Her mouth, god, it's merciless path continued as she kissed and nuzzled, my skin wet, her tears and fresh saliva leaving me sticky.

My neck, my cheek, my nose, my eyes. Her kisses trailed lusciously, like a trail of desire. Slowly, deliberately, centimetre by centimetre, her mouth moved over mine.

Fat luscious succulent lips. My hands grasped her face, and all of my wanton nasty dreams exploded as my mouth crashed onto hers. Wide open, my tongue ravished hers in a delightful duel. Wrestling and dancing. My eyes closed, but her image burned bright.

"Hmmmm..." She moaned into my mouth, her body hot, searingly hot. Her pulse racing my own. We feasted at the well of lust. Our mouths eating, biting, gnawing at the others.

"Phoebe..." I simpered one last time.

"No." She breathed. "Don't say anything, please. I have wanted this. Don't take it away."

We fell sideways onto the floor, our bodies meshed. Rolling her onto her back, I pushed her down, my fingers fumbling with the buttons of her blouse. It fell open in a flourish, her beautiful breasts staring up at me as I sat astride her.

My palms massaged and cupped her boobs, my thumbs rubbing and flicking the already engorged buds. Harder they grew. She lay beneath me, her breathing ragged, small purring moans of delighted pleasure escaping her pursed inviting mouth.

I had to lean down and kiss her again, she looked so inviting. Her nipples dug into my tongue as it slid lasciviously across the darkening areolae.

My teeth nipped wantonly on her pointy erect nipples. I felt her writhe beneath me. Our mouths collided in another kiss, I could have lost myself deliriously in that sumptuous kiss.

Her skirt opened easily, the tiny zipper on the side opening, her bum lifted as I slid it down over her curvaceous arse. Down her thighs, her calves, and then gone in a swish. Her panties, damp and sticky followed, her naked smooth kitty pulsed as my lips pressed against her mound. Her legs falling open, her thighs, soft yet firm caressing my shoulders as I leaned lower, my tongue sliding down the crevice of her convulsing vulva. Lower, past her vagina, then back, my nose sliding between her engorged lips, my tongue enjoying the earthy taste of her delicate flower.

I love that first kiss, her sex opening, welcoming. Her scent filling my senses, driving my pounding heart.

Her taste, that delicious pleasure evoking musky desire. It spoke of passion and lust. Bitingly piquant.

Dipping my tongue deeper, her slickness, arousing. Her lips parted, her vagina convulsed, gripping my tongue, sucking it deeper. My face suffocating in her womanly depths. I rubbed my face all over her gooey sticky pussy. My noses nudging her nubby little clit. I lapped like a cat nip drunk kitten. Thirsty for love.

Her body writhed, moving erotically, dancing under my tongue. Purring cooing music oozed from her wet lips.

Faster, yes, her desire driving my own.

My fingers joining my tongue in the wet dark depths of her vagina. My face covered with her deliciousness. My fingers, like a stabbing blade plunged in and out. Her convulsions squelchy and slushy. Her juices pushed out, my hand a sticky mess, my face lapping at her petal.

"Fuck... Oh god..." She cried beneath me. "Oh god." Over and over she gasped, surrendering to the passion.

Her body jerked and thrashed violently, her hands knotted tightly in my hair as she jammed my face hard against her sex. She used me like a toy, fucking my face with her slushy squishy pussy.

She shuddered, her hips bucking wildly as her orgasm burst through the darkness. "Yes!" She screamed. "Oh god yes!"

As her body wilted below me, her knotted fingers loosening their hair pulling grip. My fingers slid out of her sucking depths. My tongue gently caressing her folds as my face escaped the suction.

"Kiss me." She pleaded, please, I need you."

With her naked body held tight against me. I kissed her, and her tears diluted her her gooey juice.

We lay, side by side, our noses touching, our eyes fixed, staring. Our breath mingled. "You're so beautiful." She whispered. "So perfect in every way."

"No my gorgeous sexy little creature. You are the very essence of beauty. I have dreamed of that moment, yearned for it."

"Then why wait?"

"I had to. I needed to know that you wanted me, for me. Not just to fulfil your need for love. I had to know your desire was real. You were so vulnerable, so exposed. I didn't want to exploit that."

Her arms circled me, and her mouth nuzzled again at my neck. "I love you Sara. I know you'll say I can't know that, but the moment I met you, I knew. That night you came to the hospital. I was awake, I felt your hand in mine. I saw your tears. I felt something being dragged out of me that I had never experienced before."

"You were awake?"

"Yeah, I just couldn't talk. I felt my soul merge with yours. I felt like we were one. I didn't even know who you were, but I knew."

"Wow."

"Yeah, I know. When I met you, and felt you giving back, I knew you loved me as well. I knew it."

"What you were feeling, was lust..."

She sniggered. "Nah, don't hide from me Sara. It was love. I've never felt that way about another human being in my life."

A warm enveloping silence embraced us. "Why did you call me tonight?"

"The bloody court... I received a notification from them about his sentence. I don't know what happened, but everything bubbled over. You rejected me, work has been horrid. I felt lost, alone like nobody cared."

"I know Kate is your friend, and she may be a good therapist, but. I've never managed to form any sort of bond with her. I can't explain it, maybe I blame her for your rejection. I don't know, all I knew was. I had to talk to somebody.

I kissed her, her head in my hands. "I care Phoebe. I care a lot."

"I don't care what you say Sara. I know me... It's not some bullshit theory about transference. I love you. I don't care if you don't feel the same way, but I love you."

"I love you as well, you crazy mixed up minx. I was every bit as confused as you."

"So, what was she like?" I asked bitterly.

"Who?"

"Do not go there. You know exactly who I am talking about."

"Oh my god. You were jealous. Jesus girl..."

"Well, come on. It was your first time. What was it like?"

She shoved me lightly, rolling me onto my back. "Dummy, tonight is my first time. Nothing happened that night. I was going to, I planned to. But then I got pissed, started crying, got soppy and stupid. She got me home safe and sound, but left without so much as a kiss."

"This was your first kiss?"

"What... No, I've kissed hundreds of guys. No, wait. Not hundreds as in hundreds, but lots okay. No, tonight was my first real kiss."

"And..."

"It was perfect, everything I'd dreamed of. You felt it, perfection."

She leaned down and kissed me, our mouths open and lusciously locked together. Parting, she asked teasingly. "Why are you still dressed?"

"You overwhelmed me."

"Did I?"

"Yes."

The kiss, the feel of her velvety lips on mine. The taste of her desires still fresh and abundant.

"Is that what it tastes like?" She asked nervously. "I mean, me, is that what I taste like?"

"You my sweet delicious love bunny. Taste delicious, I sense already, you are a drug habit I will struggle to break. I am already hungry for more."

She may have been nervous, and her touch more inquisitive than I was used to, but the moment her fingers slid inside me. I was lost to the sensations. My eyes closed as I purred wantonly in her mouth. Then shivered as she kissed her way down my body. Her tongue replacing her prying fingers. Her mouth sucking ravenously, inhaling my juices. Feasting savagely on my lips, my clit. I luxuriated in her learning.

It was a night of passion, questions, new ground broken. Phoebe, experimented, and I revelled in my new role as instructress. Heaven must be like that moment, when you look into your lovers eyes, and see reflected the emotions you feel burning inside.

Sleeping together is one of the joys of relationships. The feel of a loving human being in your arms. The sounds of her breathing, her hands caressing, fondling. The emotional connection, just knowing they are there.

If going to sleep in your lovers arms is special, and wondrously fulfilling. Waking. Opening your eyes to a new dawning, feeling her arms around you, feeling the beat of her heart. Hearing the gentle breathing, feeling her breath cascading over your flesh... Smelling her, as you inhale the fresh taste of tomorrow.

Waking first, I got to enjoy all of those things uninterrupted. Laying there, her head nestled on my shoulder. My heart beat a little faster.

Her sexy smile, growing as she mumbled. "What are you looking at?"

"The most gorgeous seductive creature I have ever met."

The feel of her lips sliding over mine, made everything else fade into insignificance. Love, real love is like that. Little moments stitched together. You can't make them happen, they are their own life-force. Only manifesting from the uniting bond of two souls.

We rushed around in the morning, preparing breakfast, and getting ready for another day.

It was clumsy, but not awkward. Two people learning about each other, the birth of a relationship. Where the passion of desire melds into everyday life.

The gentle kiss goodbye at the door, as we plunge into a new day. Somehow, knowing somebody was waiting for me, was day dreaming about me, yearned for me, wanted me. Made life so much easier. Understanding I was wanted, needed, made it easier to push on.

"Are you coming back tonight?" She asked, her eyes pleading. My reply instantaneous, before I even considered the consequences.

"Absolutely."

Love... You find it in the most unusual places.