All Comments on 'Susan Jones Ch. 01'

another chapter please. It leaves you wondering what is next to come..or if they get caught!!

Mundane story plot, then even more simplified. The most glaring errors in your writing are the technical ones. Terrible sentence structures, obvious grammar mistakes, poor word choices and tons of misspellings (e.g. "peace" instead of "piece"). You even screwed up your own bio ("any" instead of "many"). The sum of all these errors tends to leave one with doubt about you actually being even a student much less a writer! Your carelessness and lazy attitude can lead this reader to only one conclusion: "You Suck!".

Forget any comments about sentence structure or grammar, the story content is great. Can hardly wait for the next chapter.

to you, we all have to start somewhere. My best critique would be to say, edit your stories and proofread beyond what spell check will do. And welcome to Lit.

Needs a continuation and a bit more work. If she is divorced and this hungry for cock, perhaps you need to keep fucking her and start a family with her?

Fucking the neighborhood divorcee is every teen-aged boy's fantasy. In the 1960's I regularly did the widow of a marine killed in Viet Nam. She was very lonely and very beautiful.

Hooterhunter

please tell us more!!! this is every man/boy fantasy!

Great Story. Really liked it. I hope you keep writing

I did enjoy it. I hope that you will use a little more time to read through it though. Still, a great start and a very hot fantasy.

Very good start. I personally would make it kinkier as the story continues.Keep it going. Susan sounds one hell of a woman

I hope that there is much more to this series!

Great start to what could be a very hot story. I hope you add more chapters.