All Comments on 'Suspicion Ch. 03'

your work. I enjoyed the story.

For readers that aren't aware, Nici was completely delusional. If you read her story, you leave mouth agape, astounded at her version of reality. The best wrap-up of her story by a gifted writer was by FTDS (Finish The Damn Story). Definitely worth reading.

Really sorry, You write well, however this kind of drivel just don't cut it.

you fucked it up, there's only one where Paul even breaks even, every other one Paul is a lonely bastard while Karl and Kathy live happily ever after. Except this one, you actually try and Kill Paul who did nothing wrong.

I highly doubt that any woman, upon cruelly divorcing one man and marrying another, would be dumb enough to start fucking husband number one. Is anyone really THAT stupid? And trying to pass off her actions on mental instability was a cheap shot and a lousy plot detail. In any case, your assumption that she would give up or lose custody of the children was laughable. The men threaten her with expose and pre-nups. The Courts laugh, give her custody, alimony, child support and the house until the kids graduate. If you think different, you're as delusional as your male characters. Poorly thought out and badly done.

1 star

You had a chance to finally give Paul a happy ending, but no, you had to shit on him again. This time, he still ends up alone, but gets shot first by the psychotic whore.

1* for your tedious moralising about revenge.

I had a nymphomaniac aunt married to my cuck uncle. A match made in heaven.

She had a compulsion to fuck other men and he liked watching or reading accounts of it. Hypersexuality is not a sickness. Its a condition. And... untreatable. The cumpulsion never leaves. No pill to cure it.

And, its passed on genetically. My aunts daughters are both like her. No one man can satisfy them.

As if she would seriously believe Karl that they could have a polyamorous relationship, that she could be blackmailed into signing away her rights, twice, and that she would fight to not cheat on Karl except she was already having an affair.

Might as well have Paul and Katl win the lottery and what’s this hullshit about not wanting to be with a woman again? How realistic do you think that is. He became a fucking Incel.

And the shouting at the end? If she lived the kids, she possibly would have killed them, the Paul and then herself.

What I didn't like in this: the try to redeem the lover, turning him in a good guy...he never was and never could be a good man...He was always looking to his belly button...No consequences for him...He even got a prenup, so never really trusted her...And his love faded out in three years...So this burnt the bitch, but left out the bastard...3*

Yeah, the behavior of the antagonist, Kathy, is completely different from the original story. She is near 40 years old, or just past. Had children, 16 years of marriage and was making difficult decisions successfully for her job. Her fixation was Karl not her husband Paul. A very angry man😤. She would have seen through him.

Leaving out the children was another item that makes this story unbelievable. Paul's actions would have been judged by his children. By the time of your story they are 18 to twenty years old.

The dialog is good. Your plot moves quickly, maybe too fast. This story doesn't grab my emotions like the original 2 chapters.

Gave you 3*s. Thank you for the effort.

AMerryman

The beginning of your continuation seems to fit, but then you turn her into a total slut and Paul into a raving maniac who wants to absolutely destroy her. I think this ending would have been much better and would have fallen in line with what the original author offered if you kept it between Paul, Kathy, and Karl, and left the “others” out of the story. Kathy is still in love with two men and doesn’t want to decide one over the other. Paul seeks revenge by convincing Kathy he’s still in love with her and is willing to accept the original arrangement as long as he’s not the one married to her. Karl finds out and can’t accept the terms while being married to her. In the end Kathy ends up divorced from both with each guy finding some way to move on.

Changing major details like where Paul works and now child exchange ruins credibility

You did an excellent wrap-up of the original tale.

While one could not say it gave a nice, warm, fuzzy feeling to read your conclusion, I would have to say that what was written in response to the original story was actually necessary to do, for any person with self respect. Maybe it was not even self respect, but a need to have her sins come back to bite her in the arse. Pun intended.

It's also a true sign of her self delusion, that she laid the fault squarely at Paul's feet... none of it at her own.

I also concur with your obvious thoughts on nici's story... no, she did not manage to create a character that was not narcissistic. Indeed, all of the qualities she mentioned could be attributed to that particular loving wife, and the subsequent sequels written by so many, just go to show how far off the mark she was, and how obligated many felt in correcting the original farce.

Thanks for your story.

There have been plenty of real life incidences where some idiot... man or woman, has gone back to fuck the ex.

She was already capable of stepping out.. and she still had a thing for her ex.

Nothing unbelievable about THAT particular aspect of the story at all.

Go back to sleep.

I got it. Revenge is a dark path leading to ruin for all. Paul is probably the best dark revenger in LW history.

If your complaint is that cheaters stop after getting caught, you are not living in the real world.

"Paul, I'm married to Karl now, I shouldn't be doing this," - Strange, that didn't seem to matter when she was married to Paul!

"Please don't throw me away now, we've just found each other after so many years," - "Just found each other?" They found each other long enough ago to have a months long affair, get divorced from their spouses, get married and have a kid!

"Not true dear wife, you denied both of us exclusivity." - How can she deny that? It's self-evident.

Heh, she accuses him of saying "awful" things, then admits that they're true!

Thought you were headed toward revenge but didn’t anticipate it being quite so dark. Good for you even so. Thanks for the read.

IIRC, yeah, Nici was about as grounded in reality as the wife in this story.

After re-reading chapters 1 and 2 I’m not really sure why you were dissatisfied or felt it wasn’t finished. Maybe you felt that you needed to explain why she acted the way she did but I don’t think you did that very well. You tried to humanize the lover, demonize the husband and turn the wife into a sociopath. None of which made for an attractive read or better story. I remember, I think from the letter in chapter 2, that Evelyn was the only living family member who knew about Karl. If that is so then how could Kathy’s parents be part of the exchange and babysitting? I think you convoluted and altered the original story to fit your point of view in which case you should have simply started from scratch.

first let me say that until the very end I thought you had a good story going. In whiteone_redone's you could feel the agony in the wife's story about her first true love (don't we all remember that one). In the thecelt's ending he made Karl out to be the psycho one. I don't have a problem with your choice of endings, but you gave Karl a total and free pass. (What a nice and great guy the cheated turned out to be.)

Nowhere in the original did you ever get the idea of the multitude of cheating you had her doing. In the original we were led to believe Karl's construction company was in need of work and he needed the contract. In your story you went the complete opposite and his company had to create a new division just so he could worm his way in.

Paul gets revenge with a honey trap, designed to lure Karl away, and make HER confront the hopeless reality that MOST folks aren't built for sharing (cause she won't accept Karl hooking up with someone else), and this because Adulterers ARE built to keep on cheating, and Predators will continue to remain on the hunt.

She needed to learn the facts of life, but may be her fate in this version is a bit too extreme. If she can never get any better and improve, than has she really learned anything useful? And it seems that Paul has never learned the lessons HE was supposed to learn either.

Perhaps the REAL lesson here is that Professor Revenge is actually a very poor instructor. Amazing that he manages to retain his tenure here on these LW pages with absolute impunity.

Ok, so may be, I just convinced myself this doesn't need a rewrite after all.

Thanks for the efforts, and have a great day!

Appropriate and fitting ending, well done, Thank You 5***** I would not have been disturbed to see this nasty woman(Kathy) die a long and painful death! Karl wasn't much better but he did redeem himself a little in the end!

ive read a few stories where the author submits a differant/alternative ending, yes i did go back to read the original first, you did a great job, well written, well put togeather, oh, and just to add, so many people seem to read stories and associate them with real life, yes i know people cheat in real life, me,,,, well i see it as just fiction, again , well done, thanks for sharing,

There are details of parts 1 and 2 that don’t agree with this piece.

In addition to the revenge aspect being bad, the painting of both high school sweethearts as sociopaths. To believe Karl had private investigators on her full time was a stretch in believability from a financial aspect alone.

I read these stories for entertainment and this piece was definitely not entertaining.

the whole, 'dig three graves' line is utter bullshit to me.

the reason he's so sad is because he's built up this imaginary construct in his mind.

he thinks about 'true love'. and that mythology is a tall order. let's break down this fable of victorian true love, shall we?

your best friend, your financial confidant, your sexy and passionate lover, the mother/father of your children, and least we not forget loyal to a fault. that...is a TALL ORDER. There is no reason on earth why you cannot split these roles up among people and live an EXTREMELY blessed life.

i have a best friend, and it's not my spouse. i'v known them since childhood, and we are both the same sex and straight. so...that's a thing. my spouse provides me with sex, and we're practically best friends, and we share financial responsibilities. that's pretty damned amazing, even if it's not as picture perfect as Victorian true love. we also stay sexually loyal, and emotionally.

so paul is cynical? who cares? he gets sex from, i'm assuming, attractive and likable women. he's got unconditional love from his family and friends. he's got everything!

he's only upset because he cannot reach this partner that's laughably Utopian. there's pros and cons to long term relationships. he knows first hand.

i'm not upset that he's being stubborn. i guess there's this vaneer of ' a lesson' in his misery, but that's clearly b.s. his revenge got a mentally unstable person off the streets, and made a scum bag behave better in society. his revenge had no objective issues, only pros. his emotional state isn't tied to his guilt, like he believes. it's tied to his core past beliefs being broken by a serial cheater. it's not the same thing as learning a valuable lesson.

Compared to the original story kathy has become a black/white character. There is less psychology that way.

Very nice indeed. Story went full circle. *****

but having said that, I hope the author keeps on writing. Th

is was a good effort.

A sequel that gives justice to Paul. Karl tastes a bit of his own bitter medicine, and Kathy loses two husbands, all her children, lovers , and ultimately her mind. Great finish with happy ending finally.

I really liked the idea of closure, especially basing it on her well declared love for her ex., to "win" her back. Forcing her to cheat on her new husband, Karl was brilliant!!

However, you dropped the ball for me because she was never a cheater before she learnt that Karl was back. Her character didn't have a background of serial cheating (you mention the occasional weekdays with a colleague and several men when on conferences).

Her letter explaining why she did what she did with Karl in Part 2, gave a very good and impassioned explanation. She took the entire blame on herself and admitted that she wanted to take up with Karl and that she wasn't pushed into it. The only problem was her desire to continue with Karl, which was always going to be a deal breaker - it is always better to leave the past behind, especially with a long happy marriage. Don't let the past jeopardize your future. And that is what happened....

Learning what Karl did was good and showed him to be the home breaker. So going back to her ex would have been a kick in the teeth for Karl. But you complicated it by her having a baby with Karl in the two years since the divorce. Too soon, in my opinion as her love for her ex was very strong and would not have diminished so quickly. Her original thoughts were to continue with her ex and children but also have Karl in her life, not to have his babies. Despite the divorce her love for her ex was still very strong. So for me it would have been unlikely that she would have settled with Karl and have his babies so soon. Rather, I felt that she would have continued to try to get her ex back or arrive at a conclusion that her ex family had to take priority over Karl.

By going back to her ex and divorcing Karl would have broken another family. Her character just didn't have that in her. So I guess, showing her to suddenly be a serial cheater was a solution but that left two broken families. Truth is stranger than fiction.

not believable or well written. Get an editor.

The "no-win scenario" of the original story was that the deluded wife truly believed that she could love two men equally. Turning her into a roundheeled slut who cheats on both men is just rewriting the program, i.e., cheating.

It's really a shame the story went that way, because the idea of Paul offering to give Kathy the chance to have both him and Karl by changing places with Karl after he married her and started his own family with her seemed really promising.

He should have left laying dogs alone, repaying evil for evil, got him a smoking hole in his gut. She should have put one in his brain case also, sorry Prick.

Great fiction. Lousy story line and ending. I can’t see this happening in the real world .a loving wife after 16 years and two kids and college educated . Loves her husband but something snaps and she goes back to a child hood flame,Bullshit. And expect to be loved by two men only in the twilight zone. This writers ending made no sense . As you made her a closet whore too.

Literotica has posted at least seven different endings--search by the characters' names. Yours is OK, but you did not show how she managed for years with just Paul, and then marries Karl and becomes a nympho. Thanks for your work and our entertainment..

You tried but...

Suspicion has always been an intriguing story but never quite does it for me. In the original, the husband ends up alone, whilst his cheating wife swans off with the other guy and has his baby. And the ex couple’s daughter cosies up to her! In another he gets married but still invites his ex to his wedding reception! Then we have a follow up that has him go without sex for years, until his ex comes back! Hopefully, somebody will write a subsequent tale that leaves her struggling alone with the child, whilst Paul has a great life. It is what she deserves.

"I can’t see this happening in the real world. A loving wife after 16 years and two kids and college educated. Loves her husband but something snaps and she goes back to a child hood flame,Bullshit."

Actually, I have a friend which the scenario you called 'BS' happened to him in real life exception five kids and 20+ years of marriage. The wife was looking up old classmates on Facebook when she came across an old crush. Well, one thing led to another and now friend and wife are divorced with kids still in school. She was a sweet girl when they got married. Not sure how she is now; haven't seen her in years.

I imagine the advent of FB and other social media has made this scenario more likely. The availability is there to make such connections more commonplace.

A common trait I have noticed on all the writers that have continued this story is that they pretty much murder the character to insert the new ones into their version. Disregarding completely the original writer content. This is better that most but falls in the same trap.

Just too bizarre

Didn’t work

Years ago. Your take is commendable. Was not a great story to start out with. And yes I can see some dipshit woman thinking like this and acting that way. 5 for effort, but let sleeping dogs lie.

"The next day Kathy arrived figuring to talk Paul into a reconciliation, but he is ready to execute his revenge." - Please stick with one tense! "Kathy arrived," past tense; "he is ready," present tense, all withing a single sentence!

While this was kind of fun, it's a bit of revisionist history, there was no indication that she was any sort of a slut, just that she had never gotten over her first love.

I thought you did a most satisfactory job, springboarding onn the other author's story line. Yes I have read the submissions by nici that you mentioned and was singularly unimpressed by her obviously biased championing of the slut wife female character. As you quoted from nici:

"But, in too many cheating wife stories I have read, the female characters seemed to either have a full blown narcissistic personality disorder, a histrionic personality disorder or they're so weak and spineless that I can only wonder how they could ever exist in the real world. They can't."

Oh yes they can, nici! Not only do they exist, but they tend to create chaos and pain to those around them. nici is trying to convince himself/herself that a wife could not possibly behave in such ways because of faults she acted upon. Alas, nici and I am sure many other pro-slut readers and writers continue to delude themselves that female spouses are entitled to fuck around with complete abandon, without consequences. I was pleased to see that you did not falter in the presentation of your story line. For that I thank you.

Why was Karl the malicious predator not given any grief? The bastard preyed on a happy marriage and Kathy , the stupid woman, fell for his wiles. Paul couldn't have been too intelligent to have missed the main culprit in the death of his marriage! Karl TELLS him that he tracked Kathy and her marriage and deliberately set out to seduce her..

Kathy's having extra lovers, is so totally out of character that it skews the story. Not an acceptable ending, so must write my own!!! Kathy got her comeuppance but Karl gets away scot-free. He needed a severe accident!.3*s.

I enjoyed your story. I thought it meshed well with the original.

Karl willingly engaged in a relationship with a married woman, married her, and wound up with a cheating slut. Grief follows. Talk about poetic, self-inflicted justice. No revenge necessary. He did enough damage on his own to himself and his young son by seducing and marrying a crazy bitch.

That's quite a restoration job on Karl's character.

Looks like Kathy got the brunt of the comeuppance, which is alright - she was technically the only cheater, after all.

Something no man has ever said: "I need closure."

Yeah, sure, no problem. Just turn in your dick, balls, and man-card, then we'll go some place and chat while getting our nails done, buttercup.

He said he started the new division to meet her.

He had background check on her so he was just piece of shit also.

Divorce karma

jtwheels

Great BTB Revenge!!! Awesome writing...

Payback's a bitch.

Kathy certainly got her payback. Too bad Karl got away with no payback.

Good sequel in that Kathy gets what she deserves for her lying name cheating, but I don't like the gentle treatment of Karl. He was an asshole and needed a little physical adjustment.

Good sequel

5/5

I realize Lit readers often want the "other man" burnt to the ground in addition to the cheating wife. Consider this though: Paul deliberately, and very effectively torpedoed Karl's marriage to Kathy. Karl got to feel exactly the same pain that Paul experienced. Karl never got to sail into old age with a loving wife, even the marriage after Kathy failed account of the mistrust that was brought to light by Paul. He paid the piper, just not physically.

Maybe I should have had Paul pop Karl once in the nose, but after he admitted to the entirety of his dishonorable actions regarding stealing Kathy, I decided to let that go.

The real villain is Kathy, she chose to cheat on both men... and she paid the heaviest price.

Better than suspicion ch.2 by a lot. ENJOYED

Kathy was more stupid and naive, than slutty to begin with. She had 16 good, happy years with Paul, before the evil Karl deliberately sabotaged her marriage. He recognized himself for what he was and admitted it to Paul. But by then it was too late. Kathy was just too stupid to see how she was manipulated by both Karl AND Paul. One can understand Paul's motive but Karl's was purely selfish, self serving and cold bloodedly malicious! He wanted Kathy! The Kathy depicted here, is a new character, who is shown to be a slut! She is reluctant to start back with Paul because she is married to Karl now but she's fucking a boy toy and several other men on her out of town trips??! NOT consistent. Further Karl should have been annihilated for his evil machinations. Not so good.

Karl the evil bastard got away with his planned, malicious seduction of Kathy. The Kathy depicted here is a slut who fucks multiple men and yet she is the same person who is reluctant to cheat on Karl with her Ex, Paul. Kathy was seduced into trashing years of a happy marriage, by a guy who has stalked her for years and has no compunction in trashing her marriage. No, Karl deserved much ,much more in the way of punishment!

Very good sequel!!! Kathy got exactly what she deserved.

I enjoyed this very well done sequel. I come to Literotica to read erotic fiction. I am very aware a lot of what i reD is completely unrealistic. So long as it is entertaining what do I care. This story was unbelievably entertaining. I enjoyed it and isn't that the important thing.

was going well right up until the bs at the end.

Karl is evil an she should of never lost visitation because there treatment caused her to have a break down an I hate stories where anyone ends up so broken there psyche can no longer function in a productive logical way an the heartbreak causes them mental shutdown. Mental health is not something to be taken lightly an put in a story for shock it’s a serious misunderstood condition an stories like this only add to the ignorance an then to demonise her future proves u no nothing of mental illness an hope to god u never do

Seems like a lot to go through, just to get back at the cheating bitch! And since new hubby was having her followed, why would he be tipped by the bite mark. Shouldn’t he have found out about the Wednesday guy anyway?

In any case, she wasent worth it. Divorce her, and move on.

Novel BTB idea.

A very good ending to the previous "suspicion" and a few more stories to read Just did not care 2 much for her ending up crazy EVEN if she was

Yeah so Karl shouldn't get off easy and his comment about how he now knows he feels is not even comparable. They were together longer and have a cple of children, even if Karl has 1, its only half the measure of loss as Paul.

Despite his glib banter, Karl remains a wife stealing POS who deserves no courtesy.

Wow burns all over

Wow! This was a very interesting spin, on a common story line. I gave it 5 stars, but it deserved more....

To answer the age old question- Women are born crazy, and some of them do a better job of hiding it...

5 stars.

"But, in too many cheating wife stories I have read, the female characters seemed to either have a full blown narcissistic personality disorder, a histrionic personality disorder or they're so weak and spineless that I can only wonder how they could ever exist in the real world. They can't." nici is sure wrong about that. She's describing most women.

Terrible, worse than the original and that was pure drivel.

Didnt like the direction the story took. The Paul character went from full blown non forgiving in Chapter one and two into some love starved wimp. Totally out our character.

If anyone is interested (probably not) "Filling the Second Grave, part 1, and Part 2", by, oh, me. I liked mine. It gives a happy ending. I love happy endings. fritz51 's story is closer to reality. But all too often, reality sucks. 4.5 stars the Bear liked it. More, please. Thanks.

The BEAR

Didn’t like how the story evolved from the original. The original Paul wasn’t forgiving at all, now he’s a wimp.

entertaining but that wasnt the same kathy from the original. this would have made a better stand alone story fleshed out with ur own characters. the revenge scheme was inventive for a fictional story. turned him into almost as much as a loony toon as kathy. seeking revenge makes u as bad as the person that ur seeking revenge upon

So she really was a crazy, delusional slut, emphasis on crazy. Go figure. I mean most of us guessed it, but it's nice to see the proof.